Tag Archives: blogging

VINCENT PASTORE: RIP – BLACK ROSES (1988)

Black Roses 1BLACK ROSES (1988) – This legendarily laughable attempt at a horror film belongs to quite a few niche sub-genres. It’s a Canadian horror movie, it’s one of the wonderfully campy Heavy Metal Horror productions of the 1980s and most importantly for trivia lovers Black Roses is one of the Big Three Canadian turkeys to feature Frank Dietz in a supporting role. (The other two are Rock’N’Roll Nightmare and Zombie Nightmare. ) 

Dietz looked too young to be a police detective in Zombie Nightmare and he looks too OLD to be a high school student in Black Roses. But that’s part of his – and the movie’s – charm. He also plays one of the Black Roses in monster form during the film.

You want more kitsch-casting? How about Julie Adams of Creature from the Black Lagoon playing an elderly frump outraged over Heavy Metal’s supposed “Satanic” element?

How about noted musician Carmine Appice as Vinny Apache, one of the demonic members of the band Black Roses?

How about Vincent Pastore from The Sopranos as a Heavy Metal-hating parent who pays for that by getting mauled by a $1.49 spider-puppet AND getting sucked into a speaker playing Black Roses songs?  Continue reading →

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Halloween Season

THE RULES OF FRONTIERADO POKER

With the Frontierado Holiday coming up on Friday the 7th, how about a reminder of the rules of Frontierado Poker? 

“You’re not goin’ nowhere, ya bottom-dealin’ Hombre,” the gambler-gunfighter exclaimed, “We’ve got us a few apparent paradoxes and their effect upon contemporary religious thought to discuss!”

Here’s a refresher on the rules for Frontierado Poker, the game that is strictly my own invention, to be played on Frontierado (the first Friday of every August).

1. Remove all face cards from the deck. The game is played with a 40-card deck.

2. Every player antes up. (I’m not advocating gambling. You can decide for yourselves what you play for.)

3. Each player is dealt 4 cards (the deal rotates like in many conventional poker games). Continue reading →

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BEAR RIVER TOM: NEGLECTED GUNSLINGER

The Frontierado holiday is coming up this Friday, August 7th. As the holiday approaches and we are all making our preparations enjoy another seasonal post. 

Bear River Tom

BEAR RIVER TOM – That’s our neglected gunslinger in the photo to your left. One of the few actual gunmen to wear a fancy two-gun holster, Bear River Tom Smith’s tale begins with his birth in 1838 in New York City. He either did or did not serve in the Union Army in 1861 (accounts vary) but was definitely part of the NYC police force by 1862. By 1867 he headed west, working as a laborer laying track for the Union Pacific Railroad in Nebraska.

By 1868 the crew he was with had reached Wyoming, where the Hell On Wheels town of Bear River sprang up around their work camp. Bear River was to wild, lawless railroad towns what Dodge City, Kansas was to wild, lawless cattletowns.

Bear River Tom put his guns, fists and law enforcement experience to work protecting the town’s citizens from the drunken excesses of the railroad workers and the railroad workers from the Vigilante mobs the Bear River inhabitants had formed to curb the lawlessness.  Continue reading →

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FRONTIERADO’S TOP THREE FILMS

Here at Frontierado Headquarters we’re doing a mini-marathon of the holiday’s Top Three films for today. Below are my reviews of those three which are perfect for Frontierado (August 7th this year.):

NUMBER ONE

Top Frontierado Movie

Top Frontierado Movie

SILVERADO (1985) – I’ve never made any secret about how Silverado is, to me, THE official movie of the Frontierado holiday. The film has all the high spirits and family appeal of Star Wars plus the well-choreographed action scenes of Raiders of the Lost Ark. On top of that Silverado features all the  highly stylized gunplay of the best Spaghetti Westerns but NOT the mud, blood, sweat and brutality of that genre.

This movie is pure escapism and features the kind of preternaturally accurate gunslingers that I jokingly  describe as “Jedi Knights in the Olllld West”. These guys (as well as most of the villains) can literally shoot the needles off a cactus, simultaneously draw and shoot with pin-point accuracy and can just “sense” when some low-down hombre might be pulling a gun on them, even with their backs turned and from half a room away.   Continue reading →

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THONGOR! WARRIOR OF LOST LEMURIA (1973-1974)

This weekend’s light-hearted, escapist superhero post from Balladeer’s Blog looks at the Marvel Comics adaptation of Lin Carter’s sword and sorcery hero Thongor.

CREATURES ON THE LOOSE Vol 1 #22 (Mar 1973)

Title: Thongor! Warrior of Lost Lemuria

Villain: The Demon of Zangabal

NOTE: Pop fiction writer Lin Carter started writing stories about his character Thongor in the 1960s. He was like a cross between two Robert E. Howard creations – Conan the Barbarian and Kull the Conqueror, whose adventures were set on the ancient continent of Atlantis before it sank beneath the waves. Thongor was a sword and sorcery barbarian of sorts whose adventurers were set on ancient Lemuria, the Pacific Ocean version of Atlantis, before it sank.   

Synopsis: Thongor (at right), as always wielding his father’s god-forged sword Sarkozan, is working as a thief in the city-state of Zangabal. During one caper Thongor comes close to being captured by the authorities but is given shelter by Kaman Thuu, a Priest of the Seven Gods of Zangabal.

Kaman Thuu is a fallen priest who wants the ancient relic called the Black Mirror of Zaffar, which is currently owned by the sorcerer Athmar Phong. Zangabal’s Thieves Guild is too frightened to steal it from Athmar Phong so Kaman Thuu hires Thongor to steal it. Continue reading →

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AH TOY: A TRUE CRIME FRONTIERADO ITEM

We are just one week away from Frontierado 2026, so let me squeeze in this darker blog post well in advance.

AH TOY – This Chinese American woman rose to notoriety in the San Francisco sex trade of the 1800s. Yes, Frontierado is about the myth of the Old West, not the grinding reality but I’ve never done a blog post specifically about a Madame of the time period. It’s a fine line to walk and I want to make it clear that this item is more of a True Crime story than anything like an adventure.

Ah Toy rose from “working girl” to runner of her own sex industry franchise, often outmaneuvering white gangsters and Tong Lords alike when they tried muscling in on her operation.

In the end, it took corrupt politicians working in conjunction with organized crime to pass new legislation that stopped Ah Toy cold and also furthered injustices against Chinese Americans of the 1800s. Continue reading →

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Filed under FRONTIERADO, opinion

ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION: INSOMNIUM PHILOSOPHICUM (1647)

Henry MoreHenry More was a Platonist philosopher at Cambridge. Inspired by Keplers’ work of “ancient science fiction” titled Somnium More wrote a poem titled Insomnium Philosophicum which was published in 1647.

In this work More depicted his astral body departing his physical form to fly into space, rowing “with mine own arms in liquid sky” for fans of the cult movie of that name. Continue reading →

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B-MOVIE HOST: THE BEARD (1963-1965)

THE BEARD aka THE WEIRD BEARD – This veteran of television and radio – real name Bob Lowrie – first gained the nickname “the Beard” from his time as a rock ‘n’ roll DJ. It is not known if the “Weird Beard” variant nickname started during his radio career or if it was coined to distinguish his Movie Host character from his DJ persona.

The Beard’s Weird Movie aired on Hawaii’s KONA-TV on Friday nights at 10:00 from May 10th, 1963 to September 18th, 1965, with a change to Saturday nights at 10 on April 25th, 1964. The Beard/ Weird Beard presented the kind of So Bad They’re Good flicks that we all love about Movie Host shows to this day.

Assisting the droll host was the beautiful Sugar, played by Letitia McKee, a former Miss Teen Hawaii and Miss Bikini. (She’s shoveling Hawaii’s famed sugar at right.) The program produced 126 episodes.   

Sadly, no footage of The Beard’s Weird Movie has survived, just print advertisements and some promotional pieces. The Beard/ Weird Beard sometimes wore different hats or opened his eyes wide into a creepy stare to play into the horror angle of many of the movies he hosted. Continue reading →

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TWENTY-SIX MEN (1957-1959) FORGOTTEN TELEVISION

With Frontierado fast approaching (August 7th this year) here’s another seasonal post from Balladeer’s Blog.

TWENTY-SIX MEN (1957-1959) – This television series ran for two seasons and 78 half-hour episodes. It dramatized the early years of the Arizona Rangers, who were established on March 21st, 1901, and for years consisted of just 26 men. Stories were based on the Arizona Rangers case files.

The program was unique in that it dealt with this law enforcement group instead of the more famous Texas Rangers. Additional novelty came from the turn of the century setting, since most other westerns of the time were set firmly in the 1800s. B-Movie icon Tris Coffin starred as Captain Tom Rynning with Kelo Henderson (lower right) as show heart-throb Ranger Clint Travis.

STANDOUT EPISODES:   

THE RECRUIT – In this 1st episode of the series, Captain Rynning and Clint Travis receive an emergency telegram from a newspaper editor in Wilcox, Arizona. They ride there, but find the editor has been lynched, so they set about investigating what happened. With Don Haggerty as Big Red Monahan.

TROUBLE AT PINNACLE PEAK – Our main characters lead several Arizona Rangers in pursuit of a ruthless gang of outlaws. A Native American Scout helps in tracking them.

BORDER INCIDENT – Ranger Travis goes undercover as a gunrunner to shut down weapons smugglers who are fomenting violence on both sides of America’s border with Mexico. Continue reading →

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THE OZIDI SAGA OF NIGERIA: PART FOUR

FOR PART ONE CLICK HERE. FOR PART TWO CLICK HERE. FOR PART THREE CLICK HERE.     

PART FOUR: When our previous installment ended, Ozidi had killed and beheaded three of his father’s murderers, bringing his soul that much closer to being freed from the deadlands limbo where it was stranded.

He and his sorceress grandmother Oreame began planning to deal with Ofe, the leader of the conspirators who murdered Ozidi the Elder so that they could rule Orua through the elder Ozidi’s mentally unfit brother, King Temugedege. Ofe was growing to fear Ozidi the Younger after the power and skill he had demonstrated in killing his first three opponents.

Ofe manipulated one of his other co-conspirators, Akpobrisi the Net-Wielder Whose Touch Was Death, into attacking Ozidi at the home of his uncle, King Temugedege. And not one-on-one like the three dead and decapitated men Ozidi the Younger had already slain, but with an army of men at his side. Continue reading →

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