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ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION: THE GUARDIAN OF MYSTERY ISLAND (1896)

Guardian of Mystery IslandTHE GUARDIAN OF MYSTERY ISLAND (1896) – Written by Dr Edmond Molcini. Mystery Island lies off the coast of Maine and everyone near the coast considers the place haunted by a true monstrosity – a large ghost-dog.

Sam Lenartson, the hero of the story, is new to the region and is bemused by the superstitious whispers about Mystery Island. He decides to investigate by sailing over to the place but can’t find anyone willing to brave the isle with him.

Sam arrives alone and, though he hears distant barking of an apparently large canine when he follows the sounds he finds a small dog and its owner. That owner is a very, very, VERY old French woman who is either senile or insane. She says she has been around since the 1790s, kept alive by chewing what she calls “Devil Weed.” Continue reading

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BLOOD BEACH (1980) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 as they host their 1985-1987 show The Texas 27 Film Vault.

In the middle 1980s/ Way down on Level 31 …

Balladeer’s Blog continues its marking of the FORTIETH ANNIVERSARY year of The Texas 27 Film Vault, which debuted on February 9th of 1985. (MST3K debuted on November 24th of 1988.) 

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday February 22nd, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma. 

SERIAL: Before showing and mocking the movie machine-gun toting Randy and Richard, as members of the fictional Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) showed and mocked another chapter of the Republic Serial Radar Men from the Moon (1952).

FILM VAULT LORE: Our Film Vault Technicians First Class would pull the usual Movie Host duties like providing background info on the films and serials, and would also do comedy sketches centered around their fictional Film Vault Corps before and after commercials. They protected their duty station from menaces like giant rats, cellumites, a subterranean race of Drones and other threats. 

That duty station – Level 31, Core 27 of the Film Vault System was accessed via an industrial park behind KDFI Channel 27’s headquarters off Highway 183 near Dallas. The show was directed by Karl Newman, who often good-naturedly bemoaned Randy and Richard’s tendency to ad-lib. Sometimes in print interviews Newman would joke that if they used a script they would need far too many takes for Clower and Malmos to read their lines right, hence the ad-libbing.

THE MOVIE: Blood Beach (1980) was one of the least effective horror films of the 1980s. It had a half-decent premise – a monster beneath the sand at a California beach sucking victims down into its hellish maw – but squandered that premise with incredibly slow pacing.

The inane dialogue spouted by the annoying characters didn’t help matters.  Continue reading

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BALLADEER’S BLOG: LAST TWO COLLEGE BASKETBALL CHAMPS FOR 2025

NJCAA DIVISION THREE

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The last two teams standing were the MOHAWK VALLEY COLLEGE HAWKS (should be Mohawks) and the HERKIMER COLLEGE GENERALS. Defense was the name of the game as Halftime found the Hawks on top of Herkimer College by a mere 27-16. After the break the Generals outscored MVC 35-31 but still lost the game 58-51. Isaiah Earl led the Hawks with a Double Double of 15 points and 10 rebounds. Continue reading

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MISS AMERICA: THE REMAINING STORIES OF THIS 1940s SUPERHEROINE

This weekend’s light-hearted, escapist superhero post from Balladeer’s Blog will conclude my look at Marvel’s 1943-1948 heroine from when the company was known as Timely Comics. For Part One and her origin click HERE.

NOTE: In the 1970s it became Marvel canon that Miss America was the mother of the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver HERE, but that has since been retconned. 

MARVEL MYSTERY COMICS Vol 1 #64 (Jun 1945)

Title: The Story of Miss Bluebeard

Villain: Miss Bluebeard

Synopsis: Our high-flying heroine Miss America (Madeline Joyce) comes across an insurance investigator who was just murdered by a supervillainess who is called Miss Bluebeard by insurance agencies around the U.S. Miss America investigates and uncovers an entire network of accomplices run by the evil woman, real name Lorelei Ricciardi.

Our main character shuts down Miss Bluebeard’s operations, which involve her marrying older men and then getting their insurance proceeds after they seem to die from natural causes. Miss America also saves the woman’s latest husband and another insurance investigator from being killed, then turns Miss Bluebeard and her underlings over to the police. Continue reading

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HOLLYWOOD DETECTIVE (1991) STARRING GREGORY PECK’S SON

HOLLYWOOD DETECTIVE (1991) – I want to be very clear – this review covers the six-episode Arts & Entertainment Network original program Hollywood Detective, NOT the 1989 Telly Savalas made for TV movie The Hollywood Detective.

Hollywood Detective is set during the Prohibition Era and featured a fun, clever gimmick. Gregory Peck’s son Tony Peck starred as Barkley Nunn, a private detective in late 1920s and early 1930s Hollywood. Nunn’s cases find him involved with famous writers and other figures of the time. And speakeasies. Lots of speakeasies.

The stories are played straight but there’s always a tongue-in-cheek air about the proceedings because the nostalgia and quasi-historical events are more than half the appeal. Some critics complained about the less than trail-blazing mystery writing in the series but that’s like complaining about how the shows Columbo or Monk didn’t reflect authentic police work. Or how the Moses Wine novels had the detective interacting with pastiches of recognizable 1960s and 1970s public figures.  

Barkley Nunn’s escapades were valentines to hardboiled detective tales of the 20s & 30s and to Old Hollywood lore. The mysteries are fun but are only part of Hollywood Detective‘s charm. Continue reading

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ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION: FIRST FIVE STORIES ABOUT CAPTAIN MORS THE AIR PIRATE (1908-1911)

Last month Balladeer’s Blog gave an overview of the German sci-fi hero Captain Mors the Air Pirate HERE. The character is criminally overlooked and deserves a much higher profile. It’s puzzling that the Germans themselves haven’t taken advantage of the way his weekly text stories were set in a historical period BEFORE so much pop culture centers around German figures.

MASTER OF THE SKIES – The first short story featuring Kapitan Mors der Luftpirat is set in 1905. This origin tale saw him visit the mountain graves of his wife and children before leading his European and Indian crew against the villains responsible for their deaths and for his fugitive status.

They fly their futuristic Luftschiff (airship) to the port of Odessa where, amid the historical events of the failed 1905 uprising against the Tsars the captain and his men isolate and kill his targets. The advanced weapons and construction of the Luftschiff keep them safe from the artillery used against them. Mors hangs three of the evildoers from his airship.    Continue reading

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BALLADEER’S BLOG COLLEGE BASKETBALL: REMAINING TOURNAMENTS

NJCAA DIVISION TWO

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The KIRKWOOD COLLEGE EAGLES and the PARKLAND COLLEGE COBRAS clashed for this title. The entire game was a defensive epic, with the Eagles on top 29-24 at Halftime before holding on tight against a Cobras rally from there. The final score was Kirkwood 55  Parkland 54. Germaine Benson led the victors with 12 points. 

NJCAA DIVISION THREE

FIRST SEMIFINAL – In this game the HERKIMER COLLEGE GENERALS took on the RICHLAND COLLEGE THUNDERDUCKS. The defenses dominated the opening Half as the Thunderducks led Herkimer College by a mere 22-19 at the break. The Generals came alive in the 2nd Half, winning the game 72-59. Jayson McGhee tossed in 25 points to lead HC and his teammate Oladele Oladitan logged a Double Double of 20 points and 15 rebounds. Continue reading

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PSYCHOTRONIC BIKER FILMS

Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at some of the most Psychotronic biker movies of all time in all their weird glory. 

WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS (1971) – You just knew this was the movie I would start with. A biker gang hassles a group of Satanists in the usual biker way in films. The Satanists get revenge by cursing some of the bikers to start turning into werewolves and preying on the others. 

Werewolves on Wheels gets worse as it goes along and degenerates into a VERY weird acid trip of a horror movie before completely collapsing in its final minutes. Severn Darden plays the lead Satanist and the biker gang “boasts” Barry “Eve of Destruction” Maguire and Billy “Father Knows Best” Gray among its members.

WARNING: BIZARRE, TRANSGRESSIVE AND TASTELESS THEMES AWAIT BELOW. Continue reading

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MEMORABLE QUOTES

Mascot sword and pistolA change of pace blog post for Tuesday. 

“Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.” – Nicolas Chamfort 

“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” – Albert Camus

“Education is a state-controlled manufactory of echoes.” – Norman Douglas

“To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a deep delight of the blood.” – George Santayana

“A best-seller is the gilded tomb of a mediocre talent.” – Logan Pearsall Smith

“Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies.” – Honore de Balzac Continue reading

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THE ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK SHOW (1969-1970) FORGOTTEN TELEVISION

THE ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK SHOW (1969-1970) – No, it wasn’t a Meeting of Minds type of educational program depicting the long-ago German composer Engelbert Humperdinck interacting with other historical figures. Although I would have watched a show like that! (But I’m kind of weird.)

This project starred the Euro-Vegas crooner who also used the name Engelbert Humperdinck, presumably on a dare or something. (I’m kidding.) Picture the comedy series Viva Variety played straight – that’s the aesthetic of The Engelbert Humperdinck Show.

Each episode Engelbert welcomed equally non-threatening and bland entertainers for an hour of music and comedy the way grandma and grandpa used to love. I’m not seriously attacking the show, just pointing out how tastes change over the decades. 

THE EPISODES:

PILOT (Dec 2nd, 1969) – The Dinckster shared the stage with Barbara Eden, Jose Feliciano, Dionne Warwick and his entertainment doppelganger Tom Jones. The Mike Sammes Singers, the Jack Parnell Orchestra and the Paddy Stone Dancers were on hand as well. This episode was rebroadcast on December 26th. 

EPISODE ONE (Jan 21st, 1970) – E-Bert’s guests this time were Tony Bennett, Leslie Uggams, Donald O’Connor and Ed Bishop from UFO. The Irving Davies Dancers joined the Mike Sammes Singers and the Jack Parnell Orchestra as the figurative house entertainers.

Mr. Humperdinck sang Marry Me, The Best Things in Life are Free, When I Fall in Love and Winter World of Love. Bennett did MacArthur Park (I swear!), What the World Needs Now and For Once in My Life.

Uggams sang Come Together and Free Again, while O’Connor belted out The Joker is Me and Look at that Face plus did a World War One Flying Ace comedy sketch with laugh meister Engelbert. Continue reading

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