Tag Archives: Balladeer’s Blog

THE VISITOR (1979): AN INCREDIBLY WEIRD MOVIE

Like the poster? Too bad! It bears no resemblance to ANYTHING that happens in the actual movie!

Like the poster? Too bad! It bears no resemblance to ANYTHING that happens in the actual movie!

THE VISITOR (1979) – This Italian-made movie deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following so I’m surprised that it’s still com-paratively unknown. The film is directed by “Michael J Paradise” (Giulio Paradisi) and features appearances by such name stars as Franco Nero, Glenn Ford, Lance Henriksen, Shelley Winters, John Huston, Sam Peckinpah, Kareem Abdul Jabbar and Mel Ferrer. Paradisi directs this film in such a way that the actual point of most scenes is lost because virtually every shot includes extraneous footage completely irrelevant to the storyline. The extra footage just distracts from what otherwise might have been a halfway passable sci-fi thriller.  

Never before has anyone used the words “This movie could have used more Kareem Abdul- Jabbar” but they apply to this flick.

All that being said I want to point out that I disagree with the general consensus that The Visitor makes no sense. Sure, it has plotholes, inconsistent behavior from the characters, poorly chosen reaction shots and villains who over-complicate things for themselves, but the basic story DOES make sense. In fact I bet X-Files fans would like it and would immediately understand what’s going on.

The Visitor 4Part of the confusion can be attributed to the edited version that omits so much footage that it’s difficult to understand what is going on. It’s not always easy to understand what’s going on in the complete 108 minute version, either, but at least it retains all the relevant footage. Since so many people seem lost when they first watch this movie I’ll provide a handy synopsis of the film. It’s not quite right to say there are spoilers ahead since most people apparently don’t understand what is going on when they watch the film anyway. Continue reading →

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MALDOROR 2:14 – THE BODY IN THE SEINE

Balladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of the macabre 1868 French language work The Songs of Maldoror.

THE BODY IN THE SEINE

body floatingLast time around the monster Maldoror was involved in a tale of mayhem, murder and bestiality. This time around he’s in the presumed role of a hero. A swollen body floats down the Seine River. A boatman hooks the corpse with a pole and drags it to shore, where a curious crowd has gathered.  Continue reading →

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MALDOROR 2:13 – I SOUGHT A SOUL THAT MIGHT RESEMBLE MINE

Balladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of the macabre 1868 French language work The Songs of Maldoror.

I SOUGHT A SOUL THAT MIGHT RESEMBLE MINE

SharkI’m not bothering with a detailed look at Maldoror 2:12 because it was a fairly run of the mill (for Ducasse) look at the hopelessly groveling nature of prayers to a deity. He has just one point to make – that prayers are basically butt-kissing disguised as devotion – and makes it over and over again. 

I’ll pick up with Maldoror 2:13, which – for cross-referencing purposes – I’m titling I Sought a Soul That Might Resemble Mine. This stanza begins with our supernatural main character lamenting his lonely uniqueness and longing to find someone like himself.  Continue reading →

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BEAUTIFUL CASEY JAMES HOSTS ANOTHER LOOK AT BAD MOVIES

Balladeer's Blog's Official Movie Hostess, the sexy Casey James.

Balladeer’s Blog’s Official Movie Hostess, the sexy Casey James.

Special thanks once again to Balladeer’s Blog’s Official Movie Hostess, the extraordinarily lovely Casey James. Casey took some time away from stealing the hearts of men and women around the world to host another look at bad films from my archives.

Death Bed

Death Bed

DEATH BED (1977) – My review of this rediscovered lost movie from the 1970’s was one of my most popular posts back in 2010. Death Bed features a water-bed that is alive and has digestive juices inside it instead of merely water. The supernatural bed, spawned by the bloody tears of a demon, devours everyone who lies on it.

No it’s not a joke, it’s a real horror film with one of my favorite weirdass premises. The body count is extremely high as the title menace feeds on literally dozens of victims through the course of the movie. Absurd, bloody and with a narrator who is trapped in a wall near the bed. (Don’t ask.) FOR MY FULL LENGTH REVIEW CLICK HERE:    https://glitternight.com/2011/02/04/a-bed-that-eats-people-who-sleep-in-it-its-death-bed-from-1977/ Continue reading →

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MALDOROR 2:11 – THE ANGEL OF THE LAMP

Balladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of the macabre 1868 French language work The Songs of Maldoror. This time around the title character battles an angel from Heaven.

THE ANGEL OF THE LAMP

Notre Dame Cathedral BESTThe vile supernatural being Maldoror is lurking near a Paris cathedral. He is furiously cursing a lamp that hangs high overhead in the sacred place because the “holy” light it shines prevents him from attacking the worshippers inside. He begs the lamp to permit itself to be extinguished by the wind, reminding it that it owes nothing to the worshippers that it protects from his assaults.

Maldoror can tell the lamp is acting specifically on orders from his archrival God because of the way its light glows more and more intensely to drive him out whenever he attempts to enter during a mass but the people in attendance at the mass seem oblivious to the blinding intensity of the light which assails him. Our protagonist has returned to the cathedral in the dead of night to confront the lamp. Continue reading →

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MALDOROR 2:10 – THE ENVENOMED WEAPON

Balladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of the macabre 1868 French language work The Songs of Maldoror.

THE ENVENOMED WEAPON

Maldoror 2 10 robed womenOur supernatural narrator Maldoror, fresh off canonizing lice as deities in his demented personal pantheon now enshrines three goddesses in his fevered belief system. Those goddesses are Arithmetic, Algebra and Geometry.

He praises their perfection and their dispassionate aloofness. He admires the way in which there is no deceiving them nor escaping them, since they set the very rules of the universe. Maldoror metaphorically describes his first encounter with them as if they were three beautiful women who summoned him to them in his youth, when he groped and molested them while discerning their secrets.  Continue reading →

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COOL NAMED SPORTS TEAM: NEBRASKA CHRISTIAN COLLEGE

nebraska christian college parsonsNEBRASKA CHRISTIAN COLLEGE PARSONS

Location: Papillion, NE

Division: Association of Christian College Athletics

Conference Affiliation: Midwest Christian College Conference

Comment: How can you not love a cool and nearly unique nickname like the Parsons? Continue reading →

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MALDOROR 2:9 – PRAYERS TO THE GODS CALLED LICE

Balladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of the macabre 1868 French language work The Songs of Maldoror.

PRAYERS TO THE GODS CALLED LICE

head liceThe supernatural being Maldoror devotes this stanza to waxing rhapsodic about lice. Yes, actual lice. For the most part the demented yet brilliant figure does this as a wry mockery of religion itself but mixes in some of his own depraved acts of violence for some extra spice to the story.  

His first prayer to the gods called lice praises them as powerful deities who could grow to the size of elephants and crush all animal life on earth if not for the offerings of blood that lice are given from the hair or fur of us beasts. This prayer calls lice the most esteemed of life forms, worthy of using the heads of mankind as their thrones. Continue reading →

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POLO: U.S. OPEN CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH RESULTS

The Champions: Bob Jornayvaz (Back), Alejo Taranco (Chevy), Guillermo Terrera (Deuce) and Adolfo Cambiaso (Ace).

The Champions: Bob Jornayvaz (Back), Alejo Taranco (Chevy), Guillermo Terrera (Deuce) and Adolfo Cambiaso (Ace).

From the International Polo Club at Palm Beach, Valiente defeated Orchard Hill for the 111th U.S. Open Championship! Valiente – the Valiants – had been to the title match in 2013 and 2014 as well and avoided becoming 3-time losers with this victory.  

The 1st Chukker saw Orchard Hill – the Clubmen – get out to a 3-1 lead but in the 2nd Chukker they went cold from the field AND when shooting penalty shots, missing no less than FOUR from the penalty line! That ultimately proved to be the difference in the match but neither team knew it yet. This sextant ended with Valiente pulling one goal closer at 3-2.  

Chukker number 3 was a comparative orgy of offense as the score went from a 4-2 Clubmen lead to a 4-4 tie and finally to a 5-4 Orchard Hill edge going into Halftime.   Continue reading →

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NAIA WELCOMES SIX NEW COLLEGE SPORTS TEAMS

Six new college sports teams will be joining the NAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics). Those teams, in descending order of nickname awesomeness, are:

Providence Christian College Sea BeggarsPROVIDENCE (CA) CHRISTIAN COLLEGE SEA BEGGARS

Location: Pasadena, CA 

Comment: How can you not love a nickname as cool and unique as Sea Beggars? And when you combine that nickname with this terrific logo it’s a safe bet PCC’s teams will become nationwide favorites in no time. Continue reading →

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