Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog are very familiar with my Bad Movie page. Laughing at bad and weird movies is one of the great joys of life so I often post holiday-themed looks at cinematic turkeys around Halloween and Thanksgiving.
The Yuletide season has its fair share of turkeys as well, so enjoy this examination of more Christmas season bombs than even Henry Kissinger ever dreamed of. I will exclude overexposed movies like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and the Mexican film Santa Claus. Visit my Bad Movie page if you want full-length reviews of the following 14 flicks.
THE CHRISTMAS MARTIAN (1971) – This Canadian flick is dubbed into English from its orginal French so viewers get treated to the Old School bad movie fun of the actor’s lip movements rarely matching the words being said. An annoyingly whimsical and whacky Martian gets stuck in Canada at Christmas time. A young brother and sister help the alien visitor repair his Ed Wood- level spaceship and save him from suspicious Canadian authorities. Yes, it all seems … reminiscent … of the much-later movie E.T. but I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that E.T. is so similar. (?)
The Martian overdoes the zaniness factor to such a degree that even Charles Nelson Reilly would have told him to tone it down a little. He also wallows in a Canadian candy treat that looks a lot like Reese’s Pieces. Just sayin’.
SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (1972) – Ever want to see Santa Claus sweating so much that his red pants cling to his butt tightly enough for his crack and each buttock to stand out wide and proud? THIS is the movie for you! (And please stay away from children.) Santa’s sleigh crash-lands in Continue reading
NUMBER ONE – It wasn’t even close! Far and away the most popular blog post from January was my examination of Jean de la Hire’s neglected Pulp Hero, the Nyctalope (“Nightwalker”). This cyborg hero debuted very early in the 20th Century – as in before World War One! 
NUMBER TWO – The ladies in the Real-Life League of Extraordinary Women always get a big reaction from readers and this entry was no exception! 
NUMBER THREE – Balladeer’s Blog’s reviews of bad and/or obscure movies are among my favorite pieces to write. For January the film review that stood out to you readers was this one: 
NUMBER FOUR – Legendary Apollo Astronaut Eugene Cernan passed away in January of 2017. 
THE ZEBRA 
THE TERRIBLE SUBMARINE (1901) – Written by THE Archibald Williams. The Teredo, a souped-up, futuristic submarine is roaming the high seas preying on the world’s shipping at will. The speed and weaponry of the vessel and its anonymous Captain outclass anything that anyone else has in use. 
MISSISSIPPI BOWL – This was the National Championship game in the NJCAA. The top ranked EAST MISSISSIPPI COLLEGE LIONS did battle with the number 2 team in the nation – the ARIZONA WESTERN COLLEGE MATADORS. At Halftime the Lions were on top of the Matadors 14-7 and by the end of the 3rd Quarter the score stood at 28-21 in favor of the Lions. From there East Mississippi College held on for a 31-28 win and their 4th title in the last 7 years. * THE LIONS ARE NJCAA CHAMPIONS * 
MIDWEST BOWL CLASSIC – The (7) INDEPENDENCE COLLEGE PIRATES squared off against the (4) NORTHEASTERN OKLAHOMA A&M GOLDEN NORSEMEN in this debut edition of the Midwest Bowl Classic. The Pirates grabbed a 7-0 lead in the 1st Quarter but the Golden Norsemen cut that to a 17-14 edge by the break. From there Independence College outscored their opponents 13-6, winning the game by a score of 30-20. 
Christmas Carol-A-Thon 2017 continues here at Balladeer’s Blog! These neglected songs from various versions of A Christmas Carol have proven pretty popular so here’s another. From the fairly blah Shower of Stars tv presentation of A Christmas Carol from 1954 it’s the song A Very Merry Christmas. 
FIRST SEMIFINAL – It took DOUBLE OVERTIME for a victor to be determined in this clash between the 2nd seeded REINHARDT UNIVERSITY EAGLES (should be the Rottweilers) and the 5 seeds – the SOUTHERN OREGON UNIVERSITY RAIDERS (should be the Sea Gulls). The Eagles parlayed a 14-7 1st Quarter lead into a 21-7 advantage by Halftime. From there the Raiders forced Overtime with a 24-24 tie. One extra session wasn’t enough (31-31) but after the 2nd, Reinhardt University advanced to the December 16th title game by a score of 37-34. 
SECOND SEMIFINAL – The top seeded Defending National Champions – the UNIVERSITY OF SAINT FRANCIS (IN) COUGARS – hosted the 3rd seeded MORNINGSIDE COLLEGE MUSTANGS. The Cougars exploded for a 19-3 lead in the 1st Quarter, with the Mustangs cutting that to a 19-10 difference at the break. That became a mere 25-20 edge as the 3rd Quarter ended. An action-packed 4th Quarter finished with the University of Saint Francis triumphant, 43-36. It will be USF vs Reinhardt U on December 16th! 
FIRST QUARTERFINAL – The Regional 6 seeds – the UNIVERSITY OF WEST FLORIDA ARGONAUTS – are still stunning the nation in their young football program’s FIRST appearance in the D2 postseason. A 7-7 tie with the top seeded UNIVERSITY OF WEST ALABAAMA TIGERS in the 1st Quarter became a 14-7 Tigers edge at the Half. The 3rd Quarter saw the Argonauts go on top 21-14, while in the 4th the teams exchanged Touchdowns for a 28-21 Upset. In just their 2nd year, the University of West Florida is headed for the Semifinals! 
