INVADERS FROM MARS (1953) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Invaders from MarsBefore MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault!

In the middle 1980s, way down on Level 31 Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class hosted this neglected cult show.

Balladeer’s Blog continues its celebration of the program’s THIRTIETH  anniversary year.

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday June 7th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

Atom Man vs SupermanSERIAL: Before showing and mocking Invaders from Mars our members of the Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) showed and mocked an episode of the 1950 Columbia serial Atom Man vs Superman. Kirk Alyn starred as Superman with Lyle Talbot as his archenemy Lex Luthor. Lex has his own secret identity in this serial – each episode he dons a lead mask and oversees the villainy as “Atom Man”.

This was one of the liveliest and most campily watchable serials of the 50s. Especially laughable are the bits when Superman “flies” – an effect achieved by switching from live footage of Kirk Alyn to INSERTED CARTOON FOOTAGE of Superman flying. Think of the ‘Toons in Roger Rabbit interacting with the live backgrounds and you have the idea.

A behind the scenes photo of Laurie Savino, who held the rank of Mystery Clip Technician in the Film Vault Corps.

A behind the scenes photo of Laurie Savino, who held the rank of Mystery Clip Technician in the Film Vault Corps.

FILM VAULT LORE: This week Laurie Savino, who held the rank of Mystery Clip Technician in the Film Vault Corps once again presented Channel 27’s Movie Ticket Giveaway.

Correctly identifying the Mystery Clip this time around would win a few lucky viewers tickets to the upcoming release of the 1986 remake of Invaders from Mars, starring Karen Black. 

HOST SEGMENTS/ COMEDY SKETCHES – One of the comedy bits Randy and Richard injected into the film this time involved Jimmy Hunt, who played David Maclean, the child hero of the movie.

Whenever Hunt would say something harmless like “Gee Whiz” the Film Vault Guys would bleep part of it to make it sound like the kid had said “Jesus” and was getting censored. And so it went throughout the movie. Little Jimmy – but, hilariously, NONE of the adults, would occassionally get bleeped misleadingly as if cursing like a sailor.

That is one foul-mouthed little boy!

That is one foul-mouthed little boy!

A word beginning with “sh” would be bleeped like Jimmy was saying “shit”, a word beginning with “f” would be bleeped like Jimmy was saying “fuck”, multi-syllable “m” words would be bleeped like he was saying “motherfucking”. It was like a more adult throwback to the old “Cleveland-style” of movie hosting, dating back to the legendary Ghoulardi (Ernie Anderson). 

THE MOVIE: Invaders from Mars is a very fun-bad movie complete with cheap and unconvincing 1950s special effects, stiff and unbelievable characters and a groan-inducing finale. Some elderly critics praise this movie nostalgically and try to present it as a metaphor for anti-Communist paranoia, like the more-deserving Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Anybody who didn’t see this thing as a child in 1953 tends to view it more realistically: as a kitschy relic of its era, entertaining but hardly thought-provoking.  Continue reading →

9 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts

WNBA STANDINGS

minnesota-lynx logoWESTERN CONFERENCE – 1. MINNESOTA LYNX (16-6)    ###    2. PHOENIX MERCURY (14-8)    ###    3. TULSA SHOCK (10-13)    ###    4. LOS ANGELES SPARKS (7-15)    ###    5. SAN ANTONIO SILVER STARS (7-16)    ###    6. SEATTLE STORM (5-17)    ###     Continue reading →

2 Comments

Filed under WNBA

LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES: ANOTHER PARALLEL

“Can 2 of the worst presidents in history share an apartment … without driving each other crazy?”

This time around we’ll look at another of the many ways that Liberals and Conservatives are the same kind of unbearable people.

And not just because of the way they can’t comprehend that the rest of us (aka “adults”) aren’t the same narrow- minded partisans they are.  

  • * Conservatives delude themselves that
    they’re saving our souls for us and therefore we should mindlessly go along with their distorted worldview.
  • * Liberals delude themselves that they’re saving our planet for us and therefore we should mindlessly go along with their distorted worldview.

In reality both groups are interested only in stroking their own egos and reassuring themselves that they’re wonderful people for believing what they do. Both groups also lie habitually and bluster with indignant outrage whenever this is pointed out to them.

FOR MORE OF THESE CLICK HERE:  https://glitternight.com/2012/07/09/liberals-and-conservatives-and-why-we-despise-them-both/  Continue reading →

2 Comments

Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

ALL LIVES MATTER: JUST DEAL WITH IT

The Trinity of Race Hatred: Black bigots Eric Holder, Barack Obama and Al Sharpton

The Trinity of Race Hatred: Black bigots Eric Holder, Barack Obama and Al Sharpton

Barack Obama, Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan and other “racists of color” have been emboldened by the gutlessness of politicians like Martin O’Malley. Those spineless wimps immediately apologized when Rednecks of Color like Obama, Sharpton and others took exception to people replying to the bigoted slogan “Black Lives Matter” by saying “All Lives Matter.”

Politicians are all on the cowardly (and sleazy) side, so they thought they were completely safe making the common sense statement that All Lives Matter. The brainless black bigots who PRETEND to speak for all black people in the U.S. have lambasted O’Malley, Hillary Clinton and anyone else who dares to imply that it’s not just black lives that matter. Clinton cravenly apologized just like O’Malley did for this latest form of political blasphemy. 

Yes, overseas readers – America has officially become SO screwed up that it’s now considered “dangerous” or “offensive” to say that All Lives Matter. So, to all the Black Klansmen who get upset by it, I’m happy to say “ALL LIVES MATTER!” And furthermore:  Continue reading →

4 Comments

Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

COOL-NAMED SPORTS TEAM: CONVERSE COLLEGE

CONVERSE COLLEGE VALKYRIES

Location: Spartanburg, SC

Division: NCAA Division 2

Conference Affiliation: Conference Carolinas

Comment: As we’ve seen I’m a sucker for team nicknames that combine my passion for college sports with my passion for mythology so this institution’s teams were a natural for this blog!  Continue reading →

2 Comments

Filed under Cool names and cool logos

MALDOROR 6:6 AND 6:7

Balladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of the macabre 1868 French language work The Songs of Maldoror.

CANTO SIX: STANZA SIX

Maldoror 6 6Maldoror is in his lair in Paris, observing himself in a mirror. He recalls how he used to have a third eye in the center of his forehead but ages ago a female cat pounced on him and chewed it out. This was done as revenge on Maldoror for the way he boiled the cat’s litter of kittens to death in a pot full of alcohol. (What kind of wine goes with cat meat?)

Maldoror then ponders the rest of his heavily scarred face and body, reflecting on the damage he and God have inflicted on each other in their long war against each other. In his usual insane way the supernatural being considers himself as “beautiful” as congenital birth defects are beautiful; as “beautiful” as genitals ravaged by venereal disease. Continue reading →

6 Comments

Filed under Maldoror

TWO MORE NEGLECTED GUNSLINGERS

Painting by Charles Marion Russell aka Kid Russell

Painting by Charles Marion Russell aka Kid Russell

HAPPY FRONTIERADO! The joyous day is here at last so let’s enjoy our meals of buffalo meat, Tumbleweed Pizzas, Southwest Fried Rice, corn on the cob, Cactus Salad, mashed potatoes and Western Spaghetti ! Later we can wash down some Deuces Wilds (Red or Black) and Cactus Jacks while playing Frontierado Poker or watching Silverado.

My most popular Frontierado articles over the years have been the ones about neglected gunslingers of the American West. Here are another man and woman whose lives were at least as interesting as those of the bigger names.

Self-portrait by Kid Russell

Self-portrait by Kid Russell

KID RUSSELL – How cool is it that an authentic, acclaimed international artist spent some of his younger years wandering the Wild West, even earning the nickname Kid Russell? Charles Marion “Kid” Russell was born in 1864 in St Louis, Missouri. As with Klondike Kate Rockwell, most of this figure’s life story is outside the purview of this article.

Since Frontierado is about the myth of the Old West I’ll focus on the legends about Kid Russell’s wild, wandering younger years full of guns, ranches, saloons, cattle drives, bordellos and sketches drawn on any nearby flat surface, sketches that showed the nascent talent that would one day make Russell world-famous.  

Charles Marion RussellWhen he was age 16 Charles’ well-to-do parents gave up trying to force him to continue his schooling and let him move to Montana, where, clad in a brand-new buckskin outfit, he worked on a friend’s sheep ranch north of Helena. It took skill with a gun and a true survival instinct to live through encounters with rustlers, hostile cattlemen and their hired gunmen but Charles, already being called Kid Russell, thrived and felt more at home in this rough and tumble lifestyle than among his family’s hoity-toity friends in St Louis high society.     Continue reading →

49 Comments

Filed under FRONTIERADO

TIMELINE OF THE WICKED BURG: SIDNEY, NE

Wild West TownFrontierado is tomorrow, August 7th! When it comes to Wild West towns places like Tombstone, Dodge City and Deadwood get the lion’s share of the attention. In keeping with Balladeer’s Blog’s overall theme here’s a look at some of the action in the neglected town of Sidney, NE. Figures like Wild Bill Hickok, Luke Short, Susan B Anthony, Whispering Smith and Dom Pedro II of Brazil passed through Sidney in its heyday. Here’s a timeline of just some of the events in the town infamous as “The Wicked Burg”:  

April 29th, 1868 – Daniel Richardson, Thomas Cahoon and William Edmondson became the first recorded dead men buried in Sidney’s Boot Hill Cemetery. All three men were killed in a clash with Native Americans.

May ?, 1875 – Susan B Anthony delivered a lecture in Sidney advocating women’s suffrage.

October 24th, 1875 – At the Capitol Saloon the livery stable owner Robert W Porter and Charles Patterson got into an argument (the subject is not known) that resulted in Patterson shooting Porter to death with 3 shots. Patterson was placed under arrest. Continue reading →

37 Comments

Filed under FRONTIERADO

THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT: TWO FOR FRONTIERADO

Frontierado is coming up tomorrow, August 7th! Here’s a brief look at two films presented on The Texas 27 Film Vault that match the old west theme of this holiday season. Randy Clower and Richard Malmos were the hosts.

A movie guaranteed to contain absolutely NO accurate information.

A movie guaranteed to contain absolutely NO accurate information.

FRONTIER MARSHAL (1939)

Original Broadcast Date: Saturday October 25th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

Serial: An episode of Mysterious Doctor Satan was shown before the movie. This 1940 serial presented the title villain trying to take over the world with a big, goofy robot while being opposed by a masked superhero called Copperhead.  

Movie: Frontier Marshal is notorious as the LEAST historically accurate depiction of the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral. Randolph Scott starred as Wyatt Earp with Cesar Romero as Doc Holliday. Nobody can pronounce Doc’s name right, plus he’s presented as a Medical Doctor instead of a dentist. Meanwhile Doc himself starts out the film drinking only milk. (?)

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault

No Clantons or McClaurey’s are to be found anywhere, nor are Wyatt’s brothers. Doc is shown getting killed off BEFORE the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral even happens! To top it all off the famous gunfight takes place at night for no apparent reason and Wyatt’s only ally in the battle is a saloon girl who had a crush on Doc. Bad craziness all around in this little honey.   Continue reading →

8 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts

MALDOROR 6:4 AND 6:5

Balladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of the macabre 1868 French language work The Songs of Maldoror.

CANTO SIX: STANZA FOUR

Maldoror and Mervyn, drawn by Monsieur Le Six.

Maldoror and Mervyn, drawn by Monsieur Le Six.

I’ve decided the Stanzas of this final Canto don’t merit individual titles. Too little happens in each as the story of Maldoror preying on the 16 year old youth named Mervyn proceeds incrementally.

The previous episode ended with Maldoror tracking Mervyn to his home on the Rue Lafayette. The young man now flees inside, fearful of the unknown presence he felt following him through the gaslit streets of Paris (left deserted after dark by Maldoror’s ongoing reign of terror). Continue reading →

10 Comments

Filed under Maldoror