Category Archives: humor

SAINT XAVIER COUGARS QUARTERBACK ANTHONY KROPP JOINS NEW SUPERHERO TEAM

Saint Xavier (IL) University senior quarterback Anthony Kropp will be appearing in the summer blockbuster The Super Six. More specifically the College Fanz Sports Network’s NAIA Super Six. In the tradition of the Squadron Supreme, the Teen Titans and the Fantastic Four this new alliterative superhero team assembles various super-powered individuals to perform various amazing feats. The unique twist with this super-team is that they are all NAIA college football players. Neat gimmick, eh?

It’s easy to see why Kropp was included. Last season he completed 62 percent of his passes for 4,425 yards and 43 touchdowns. He also rushed for 6 touchdowns and led the Cougars to a 13-1 record before losing in the playoffs to eventual national champion Sioux Falls.

Kropp’s character in the film is Crop-Man, who has all the powers and abilities of a harvested crop. (I’m no expert but shouldn’t your superhero name be at least a little more different from your real name? Not since Super President has an alias been more transparent.) This sure-fire hit premiers Thursday August 26th, the same night the SXU Cougars kick off their season at the Bethel (TN) Wildcats. 

Clearly the people behind The Super Six are already thinking sequel since the film includes some teasers implying that Anthony Kropp’s SXU teammate, senior wide receiver Mike Maher, will have a larger role in the second film. 

For highlights of Crop-Man’s superheroics in this film click here: http://www.sxu.edu/Administrative/Athletics/ 

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or any member institutions. 
© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

2 Comments

Filed under college football, humor

AVE MARIA UNIVERSITY BUILDS INTEREST IN THEIR 2011 DEBUT FOOTBALL SEASON BY CONSTRUCTING THE WORLD’S LARGEST FOOTBALL HELMET

 “Building it from the ground up” has been the theme for the Ave Maria University Gyrenes as they prepare for their inaugural NAIA football season in 2011. It could also be the slogan for one of the most ambitious construction projects since the days of the Pharaohs as nearly 3,000 students and residents in Ave Maria, FL have been employed in ’round the clock shifts to erect a massive 819 foot tall replica of the helmets the Gyrenes pigskin team will be wearing.

This enormous replica helmet, seen in the foreground of the above photo, sits majestically on the shores of Lake Gyrene, an artificial lake whose grayish-blue waters lie serenely under the gaze of this monolithic tribute to the “can do” attitude of Ave Maria University Athletics.

Funding for this enormous project came from eccentric billionaire Tony Stark and the attention Stark has received for this unusual undertaking inspired an obviously jealous Mark Cuban to make with his usual paranoid rambling about how nobody ever sees Tony Stark and Iron Man together at the same time. Whatever, Mark!  

I was in Ave Maria, FL recently to cover the excitement that is growing throughout the NAIA for the Gyrenes’ gridiron debut in 2011. 

Gyrenes Head Football Coach Barry Fagan and I took a chartered helicopter up to the top of the replica helmet, set up some lawn chairs and, as we soaked in the panoramic view of the Ave Maria campus, Lake Gyrene and the sprawling metropolis of Ave Maria, I began my interview.

On his way to being the head man for Gyrenes football Coach Fagan’s career saw him take part in a 39-0-2 undefeated streak at Division II Ferris State University, a streak that brought the school 4 consecutive D2 playoff appearances culminating in a trip to the National Semi-Finals. 

In the coach’s career at Hillsdale College, also in D2, the football team made its first playoff appearance in school history. The fact that that feat was accomplished while maintaining the school’s rank as the Number 1 academic institution in all of Division II gives you an idea of the qualities that made Coach Fagan seem the ideal fit for Ave Maria University. He strongly believes that teams can win without compromising on character, intellect or spirituality.

Consistent with that philosophy is the pride Coach Fagan takes in the way his former players will call him up years after graduation and thank him for making them better men and teaching them the necessary things to be successful in life. 

When the coach refused to answer my question regarding how impressed his friends and family were that he got to be interviewed by me I turned the conversation to some of the challenges involved in recruiting for a school that is just launching football.   

Coach Fagan felt there were four major challenges:

1. Getting the recruits to visualize what will be there in the way of facilities, equipment, etc.

2. Having been hired late (Feb.  12) finding kids that are the right fit; academically, athletically, spiritually

3. Educating administrators, faculty and staff on what it will take to get the program off the ground the right way

4. Convincing the recruits that red shirting is a good thing

I suggested that some recruiting difficulties might be overcome with a catchy slogan like “If you don’t mind havin’ a coach named Fagan, it’s a fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine life!” but Coach Fagan reminded me that that bit from Oliver! was the second reference my blog has made to musicals and took a man-card away from me.

When I asked the Coach if he anticipated travel problems since virtually no other NAIA schools in Florida sponsor intercollegiate football he seemed philosophical about the situation:

“We’ll fly once a year to the west coast,  either Menlo College(San Francisco), or Southern Oregon University, ” he stated, “There will be some long bus trips but that is the nature of sub Division I Football…The good thing is that there are many teams that want to travel to Naples, FL.  It is almost like a bowl game for them.  We do not always have to look at a home and home situation.  Some schools are willing to travel two years in a row to our school, especially in late October and early November because of the weather.” 

I asked Coach Fagan to use one word to describe the experience of preparing for Ave Maria University’s first year of NAIA football  and he replied “An adventure.” When I pointed out that that was two words he just rolled his eyes and indicated we should start wrapping up the interview.

By this point I was on my fourth glass of bourbon (Coach Fagan abstained), so I went into “interview wind-down mode” and asked a few non-sports questions. 

Coach Fagan confessed his greatest non-sports passion was his family and since I love discussing bad movies with just about everybody the conversation turned to the most ridiculously bad movie the Coach had ever seen. He felt it was The Last Dragon, an answer that broke the hearts of Taimak fans everywhere (both of them).   

Since we were on the subject of movies I asked the coach what a movie version of the first year of Gyrenes football should be titled and he stated ““Baptism Under Fire” (The Story of Ave Maria University Football)”.

Sounds like an Oscar-winner to me! I’m sure Mark Cuban would love to be a backer to avoid being trumped (as it were) by Tony Stark again over the cultural buzz regarding Gyrenes football.

If you can spot the faces of all 16 previous Chief Justices Of The Supreme Court in this provisional artists’ rendering of the AMU football field you can win $7.00! For details click here:  http://www.amuathletics.com/football/news/33/417/

   

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or any member institutions.
© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

12 Comments

Filed under college football, humor

TODAY’S COOL-NAMED SPORTS TEAM – ROGERS STATE

ROGERS STATE UNIVERSITY HILLCATS

     

Location: Claremore, OK  
Conference Affiliation: Sooner Athletic Conference
Comment: I’ll bet everyone affiliated with this university wishes they had back all the moments from their life spent explaining “No, it’s HILL-cats, not hellcats”! Just to really confuse people the Rogers State University marching band should start doing a rendition of the theme song from the bad biker movie Hellcats. (bad movie buffs will get it) 

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or any member institutions.

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Leave a comment

Filed under Cool names and cool logos, humor

BALLADEER’S BLOG: THE DECISION

I’d like to thank all of you for coming. I’ve been wrestling with an important decision about my future…a decision that could change the entire course of the rest of my life.

You’ve all seen the extensive coverage of the angst I’m feeling over this decision…the interviews on all the sports channels, the ’round the clock coverage on a certain 4 Letter Network…the promos running at the bottom of your tv screens…and oddly enough a story in Better Homes And Gardens PLUS Popular Mechanics.

I can honestly say that after giving considerable thought regarding if I should make a new post on my blog this evening, I’ve decided the answer is………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………………..

………………………………………………………………………….

………………………………………………………………..no.

I’m going to take my talents to dinner and then who knows where the evening will lead.  As someone or other once said “History begins NOW!”  

  

What was all the fuss about LBJ anyway? I thought he was dead!   

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or any member institutions.

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

.

4 Comments

Filed under humor

GOT MAJOR LEAGUE DREAMS? NAIA BASEBALL TEAMS CAN GET YOU ON YOUR WAY

 

Playing college ball at an NAIA school is just as much a stepping-stone to the major leagues as playing at NCAA schools. Over the past 2 years no less than 85 players from NAIA schools have been taken in the MLB draft. Here’s a look at 2010’s draftees.

Before we dive in let me say I hope all of you had a happy 4th of July celebration. For me it always Continue reading

10 Comments

Filed under College Baseball, humor

TODAY’S COOL-NAMED SPORTS TEAM – MAYVILLE STATE

MAYVILLE STATE UNIVERSITY COMETS

 

Location: Mayville, ND
Conference Affiliation: Dakota Athletic Conference
Comment: After indulging myself with a High Chaparral joke with LCU earlier this month I’ll refrain from making either a groan-inducing Bill Haley OR Hale-Bopp reference and just ask you which Comets football helmet you think is cooler -the old-school one on the left or their latest one on the right.   
 
 
  
  
 
 
 
As usual you can contact me with your opinion at Thtcom15@aol.com
Football helmets courtesy of The Helmet Project at http://www.nationalchamps.net/Helmet_Project/
 
 

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or any member institutions.

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

10 Comments

Filed under Cool names and cool logos, humor

TODAY’S COOL-NAMED SPORTS TEAM – LUBBOCK CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY

LUBBOCK CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY CHAPARRALS

Location: Lubbock, TX (Well, d’uh!)
Conference Affiliation: Sooner Athletic Conference
Major sports: basketball, baseball, soccer 
Comment: This school’s teams have got a butt-kicking nickname, a butt-kicking logo and I’ll let you go ahead and insert your own High Chaparral joke here. Bonus points for the best use of Blue Boy‘s wimpiness in your wisecrack. And remember to vote for your favorite cool-named sports team by July 16th here: https://glitternight.com/2010/06/21/the-20-coolest-named-college-sports-teams-you-may-have-never-heard-of-naia-edition/
 
 Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or any member institutions.

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

.

15 Comments

Filed under Cool names and cool logos, humor

THE RETIREMENT OF A BASEBALL GOD

A man synonymous with NAIA baseball, Ed Cheff, 34 year coach of the Lewis-Clark State Warriors announced Wednesday that he is stepping down, capping a career in which he led the Warriors to a record 16 NAIA World Series titles. Cheff, better known (to me and me alone) as Top Cheff, Iron Cheff, The Cheffmeister General and, my personal favorite, Cheff Boy-Ar-Dee posted a phenomenal 1,705-430-2 record.

Cheff will be replaced by Gary “No Nickname” Picone who will also retain his position as Lewis-Clark State’s Athletic Director.

For a tribute to this extraordinary coach that is more dignified than a slew of lame nicknames made up by some blogger the man never met be sure to visit the Lewis-Clark State athletics site at: http://www.lcsc.edu/athletics/

 Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or any member institutions.

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Leave a comment

Filed under College Baseball, humor

TODAY’S COOL-NAMED SPORTS TEAM – OREGON TECH

OREGON TECH HUSTLIN’ OWLS

Location: Klamath Falls, OR
Conference Affiliation: Cascade Collegiate Conference
Comment: Hustling Owls? I didn’t even know Continue reading

96 Comments

Filed under Cool names and cool logos, humor

THE 20 COOLEST-NAMED COLLEGE SPORTS TEAMS YOU MAY NEVER HAVE HEARD OF (NAIA EDITION)

Tired of the antics of many athletes in NCAA Division 1?

Looking for collegiate athletics that retain the letter as well as

the spirit of the term “student athlete“?  You need look no fur-

ther than the so-called “lower” divisions of college sports. I’ll be

doing a list of some of these teams with what I consider cool

nicknames for NCAA Division 2, 3 and for starters the NAIA.

If you’ve never heard of the NAIA it’s the National Association of

Intercollegiate Athletics. The organization’s slogan is “Champ-

ions of Character” and they pretty much live up to it.

However, for this list the only “character” I’m concerned with

is how colorful a character their team’s mascot is. Here they are

in no particular order.

20. COLUMBIA COLLEGE FIGHTING KOALAS

 Location: Columbia, SC

Conference Affiliation: Southern States Athletic Conference
Major sports: basketball,soccer
Comment: Okay, a Koala would be scary enough(?), but a FIGHTING Koala? Those babies will mess you up badly!
19. TRINITY CHRISTIAN TROLLS
Major sports:basketball, baseball, soccer
Comment: No, their mascot isn’t a Continue reading

581 Comments

Filed under Cool names and cool logos, humor