MOCK HEADLINES ARE BACK: FEBRUARY 25th

MURKY MUELLER INSISTS IT’S HIS RIGHT TO KEEP HIS PHONY INVESTIGATION GOING LONG ENOUGH TO LEAK UNSUBSTANTIATED INFO SO AS TO INFLUENCE THE MID-TERM ELECTIONS

JIMMY KIMMEL DEMANDS THAT VICTIMS OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT VIOLENCE SHOULD BE DEPORTED, NOT THE ILLEGALS WHO ASSAULTED THEM

MCMASTERS VOWS TO HOLD ALL FUTURE PRESS CONFERENCES FROM A SEATED POSITION WHILE STROKING A WHITE CAT

FBI CLAIMS IT WAS TOO BUSY WITH ITS ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES TO STOP THE FLORIDA SHOOTER DESPITE MULTIPLE WARNINGS ABOUT HIM

FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP, WIFE OF UNITED STATES PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP, STILL SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED

DEMOCRATS CLAIM EXPERTS HAVE PROVEN THAT THEY ARE THE ONLY DECENT AND CARING PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AND ANYONE DISAGREEING WITH THEM IS GUILTY OF HATE SPEECH

A TEARY-EYED NANCY PELOSI DECLARES BARACK OBAMA TO BE “AS WRONGLY SUSPECTED OF ILLEGALITIES AS JOHN GOTTI WAS!”

GOTTI FAMILY ANNOUNCES LAWSUIT OVER PELOSI COMPARING THE LATE MAFIA DON TO THE SLEAZY, SLIMY CROOK OBAMA

CNN CLAIMS NO CHILD’S PETS WOULD EVER DIE IF NOT FOR TRUMP

ROGER GOODELL BOASTS ABOUT HOW EASY IT WAS TO DISTRACT MEDIA WORMS FROM TALKING ABOUT ALL THE RAPISTS AND WOMAN-BEATERS IN THE NFL

JARED KUSHNER STILL A BUFFOON, EXPERTS SAY

DEMOCRATS CALL FOR IT TO BE A HATE CRIME TO PUBLICLY MOURN THE VICTIMS OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS WHO COMMIT MURDER

CALIFORNIA INTRODUCES NEW COURTROOM PROCEDURE IN WHICH ANYONE ACCUSED OF ANY CRIME WILL BE PARDONED AND SET FREE AS LONG AS THEY MAKE A PUBLIC STATEMENT AGAINST PRESIDENT TRUMP. Speaking fees, book deals and glowing appearances on all Democrat talk shows add allure to the deal

MILLIONAIRE CAPITALIST PIGS OF HOLLYWOOD PROMISE TO CRUSH THE TRUMPENPROLETARIAT

MAGAPILL’s TWITTER FEED REMAINS THE ONLY REASON TO EVER USE TWITTER

A CRAZED AND INCOHERENT ROBERT DENIRO SAVAGELY BEATS AN ELDERLY WOMAN WHO SAYS SHE DOESN’T HATE PRESIDENT TRUMP

ELDERLY VICTIM OF DENIRO’S ASSAULT IS DOXED BY CNN AND FOUND DEAD THE NEXT MORNING. GOVERNOR BROWN BLAMES TRUMP.