Some of the bad and weird movies I review here at Balladeer’s Blog get a huge amount of love. Films like Death Bed, Deafula, Assignment: Terror, Ghost Busting, Lewd Lizard and plenty of others don’t go a day without plenty of hits. Others for whatever reason struggle for attention. Here is a look at some of those flicks that deserve just as much of a cult following as the big names have.
ALABAMA’S GHOST (1973) – Who does this movie have to sleep with to get into my top ten articles per day on a regular basis? This flick boasts Nazi vampires from outer space, a female mad scientist named Dr Caligula, campy voice-over narration and an incoherent, cobbled-together ending prompted by the film’s production budget running out. And did I mention the rampaging elephants in America’s Mojave Desert? My favorite line: “All the vampires I know moved to the suburbs after prohibition ended.” FOR MY FULL-LENGTH REVIEW CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/2011/01/22/you-want-alien-vampires-in-nazi-uniforms-my-latest-bad-movie-page-update/
See the man who sang Tiptoe Through The Tulips having imaginary tea parties with human corpses as his “guests” … See him string up corpses in the family barn … See him and his costars struggle with a script that seems like it was written by someone with attention deficit disorder. Every imaginable cliche about 1980s slasher flicks can be found in this enjoyable bomb. FOR MY FULL-LENGTH REVIEW CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/2011/11/19/bad-movie-page-blood-harvest-1987/
CURSE OF A TEENAGE NAZI (1948) – What do you get when you combine Women-in-Prison films with Juvenile Delinquency potboilers, stir in Axis Atrocity flicks like Men Behind The Sun and the Ilsa movies … and then add 1940s postwar rah-rah “smash the Krauts and Japs” campiness?
You get Curse of a Teenage Nazi, a hilarious mishmash that is not just fun on its own merits but because of the way it serves as an embryonic version of future exploitation film genres that had not yet been born at the time of its release! DON’T do a drinking game to the number of times the “teenage” female prisoners slap each other or you’ll be dead of alcohol poisoning before the resolution of the whole “Axis Cosmic Ray Weapon” subplot! FOR MY FULL-LENGTH REVIEW CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/2011/03/01/bad-movie-page-curse-of-a-teenage-nazi-1948/
VOODOO BLACK EXORCIST (1974) – A Caribbean mummy of a long-dead VooDoo priest is brought back to life on a cruise ship (“A very special episode of The Love Boat“). When the blood-lust is upon him he bulks up, decapitates somebody and then returns to his shriveled-up, mummified form for awhile.
Throw in the tired trope of a woman who looks like the mummy’s long-dead lady love and massive cinematic ineptitude including a scene where the film crew is visible in a mirror. FOR MY FULL-LENGTH REVIEW CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/2011/10/26/a-very-blaxploitation-halloween/
IF FOOTMEN TIRE YOU WHAT WILL HORSES DO? (1971) – Ron Ormond strikes again! The man well-known for 50s schlock like Mesa of Lost Women was in his “religious” phase at this point and was working with Reverend Estus Pirkle (yes, his real name) on right-wing Christian scare films.
This one is the most notorious example and features Pirkle narrating from behind a desk, Criswell-style as a “What If” scenario unfolds. The godless Commies conquer America and, in addition to mowing down crowds of civilians in scenes overflowing with fake blood they also force American school children to pray to Fidel Castro, use pointed sticks to pierce the eardrums of dissidents and rape American housewives. All the while Pirkle longs for the days of the McGuffey Reader, white picket fences and even whiter politics. FOR MY FULL-LENGTH REVIEW: https://glitternight.com/2011/06/09/bad-movie-page-if-footmen-tire-you-what-will-horses-do/
VELVET SMOOTH (1976) – The absolute worst attempt to imitate the success of Pam Grier’s blaxploitation hits of the 1970s. A bland actress with no screen presence (Johnnie Hill) portrays an African American private eye called Velvet Smooth.
Velvet gets caught up in the most boring drug war in history between two gangs who THINK they know martial arts but whose fight scenes more closely resemble epileptic fits. An AGGRESSIVELY lame title song adds to the laughs as do cheap sets, visible boom mikes and a cameo appearance by Kojak. FOR MY FULL-LENGTH REVIEW CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/2012/04/08/blaxploitations-league-of-extraordinary-women/
THE CONFESSIONAL (1976) – Who can resist a horror film about a deranged priest who kills off his parishioners based on the severity of the “sins” they confess? If poisoned communion wafers, rosaries used as garrotes and crucifixes used as knives are the kind of thing you’d like to see on screen, then join the club!
This movie is pure 1970s exploitation fun and will have you laughing from start to finish. Everybody should enjoy this film but those who were raised as Catholics will laugh the loudest. FOR MY FULL-LENGTH REVIEW CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/2010/08/22/bad-movie-the-confessional-1976/
THE WIZARD OF MARS (1965) – My all-time favorite example of the cheapjack and hilariously oddball space travel movies of the 1960s! This baby features four astronauts, considered by many (obviously stoned) people to be perfect representations of Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz.
The astronauts travel to Mars as depicted in the same stock footage that was recycled by so many other cheap sci-fi films of the era – the footage from overseas films like Planet of Storms and others. Once there they encounter deadly hose-monsters, waterfalls made of molten lava and a time-lost Martian race whose collective subconscious manifests itself as a very confused-looking John Carradine. Who can say no to all that? FOR MY FULL LENGTH REVIEW: https://glitternight.com/2012/04/10/bad-movie-page-the-wizard-of-mars-1969/
FOR SIMILAR ARTICLES AND MORE OF THE TOP LISTS FROM BALLADEER’S BLOG CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/top-lists/
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