Monthly Archives: April 2012

April 15, 2012 · 9:05 pm

BUSH MADNESS PART TWO

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the internet that is truly nonpartisan in its criticism of Liberal nutjobs and Conservative nutjobs. As promised, here is Part Two of Bush Madness, featuring the senses- shattering origin of the Bush Family Killbots and other conspiracy theories regarding the former First Family.

 THE ORIGIN OF THE BUSH FAMILY KILLBOTS – Hypnotized assassins and the Bush family go way back according to the conspiracy underground. They developed them through HW’s evil cronies in the CIA decades ago. The test run for these killbots was (sinister music) … the slaying of John Lennon by Mark David Chapman! No, I’m not kidding. It’s canon in Kookdom to believe that Chapman was Killbot Number One, a guineau pig programmed to kill Lennon just to see if Continue reading →

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April 15, 2012 · 9:05 pm

BUSH MADNESS: PART THREE

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the internet that criticizes both Liberals and Conservatives equally. As promised, here is Part 3 of Bush Madness, featuring the theories conspiracy kooks have come up with about the former First Family, including tales of Barbara, Jeb and Prescott Bush.

No, I never supported George W Bush but there’s no denying that some of the conspiracy kook theories about him and his family are absurd.

FOR PART ONE CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/2012/04/15/conspiracy-mythology-bush-madness/  

 DIABOLICAL DIEBOLD – There’s no point in rehashing the contention that the presidential election of the year 2000 was supposedly “stolen”. Less well-known is the claim that the 2004 election was rigged by the BFEE through their alleged ties to Diebold, the company responsible for manufacturing many of the electronic voting machines used around the country. Conspiracy kooks claim that those machines were programmed to reflect results favorable to Continue reading →

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April 15, 2012 · 1:33 pm

NOTEWORTHY COLLEGE BASEBALL RESULTS FROM APRIL 14TH

 The GALVESTON COLLEGE WHITECAPS (logo at left) took on the ANGELINA COLLEGE ROADRUNNERS (not the Joelies) and  crushed them in an 8-2 affair that saw the Whitecaps machine firing on all pistons. Galveston’s Kyle Giusti was among the offensive leaders in the rout.  

DIAMOND DAN-O-URA – In a college baseball equivalent of the Battle of Dan-O- Ura (I love pompous and thoroughly inappropriate sports analogies) the NAIA’s top-ranked LSU- SHREVEPORT PILOTS (as in riverboat pilots) clashed with fellow baseball power the UT-BROWNSVILLE SCORPIONS. The Pilots emerged with a 10-9 road victory in one of the weekend’s best games.

NUMBER TWO TAKES A FALL – TWICE – At number 2, the LEE UNIVERSITY FLAMES were upset on Friday the 13th by the BRYAN LIONS in a 9-8 Instant Classic. The score was 9-5 going into the 9th inning when the Flames bats got hot (sorry) but wound up one run short of sending the game into extra innings. Yesterday the Flames fell at home to the 16th- ranked AUBURN- MONTGOMERY SENATORS by a score of 8-7. Those one- run losses can really sting!  

EAGLES OUTRUN THE HORNETS – The (4) FAULKNER EAGLES came out two runs better than the homestanding SOUTHERN POLYTECHNIC RUNNING HORNETS in a 3-1 game that Continue reading →

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April 14, 2012 · 2:51 pm

BAD MOVIE PAGE: DR JEKYLL’S DUNGEON OF DEATH (1979)

This poster is much more exciting than the movie itself

 DOCTOR JEKYLL’S DUNGEON OF DEATH (1979)- Category: Enjoyably bad but not fun-bad enough for my highest rating.        

 It’s a heart-warming little movie about a mad scientist (are there any other kind?) who is a descendant of the original Dr Jekyll. He’s using a new version of the family formula on human guinea pigs who then engage in fierce martial-arts battles in his dungeon laboratory. Some of those unfortunate human subjects are provided to him via a covert arrangement with the local prison while others are snatched off the street for him by his regulation  hulking, simple-minded lab assistant.  

The best part is that he plans to use these kung-fu versions of Mr Hyde as super-soldiers to help win the Vietnam War! Well, it’s better than anything either Johnson or Nixon came up with! Actually, the movie goes to great pains to Continue reading →

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April 12, 2012 · 11:57 pm

SHINTO DEITY: SUSANOWO

 SUSANOWO – The Shinto storm god. He is appropriately depicted as an impetuous, ill-tempered god and was often at odds with his sister the sun goddess, Amaterasu. In the Nihongi he is the son of both Izanagi and Izanami but in the Kojiki he is born from Izanagi’s nose as a sneeze. 

At one point he was seriously over-stepping his authority in a fit of anger. In some versions he was angry over his sister Amaterasu being the Chief Deity in the Shinto pantheon instead of him, in others he was angry because his mother the goddess Izanami could never return from Yomi, where she was now fated to rule over the dead forever. At any rate he was Continue reading →

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April 11, 2012 · 8:55 pm

COLLEGE BASEBALL TOP 25: D2

 The Tampa Spartans moved up 3 notches to take over the top spot but the Nova Southeastern University Sharks (logo at right) made an enormous jump, from 17th all the way up to 8th.  The Lynn University Fighting Knights, however, made the most astonishing leap of the week , moving from 27th last week to 12th this week.

The complete rankings:  1. Tampa Spartans *** 2. St Mary’s University Rattlers *** 3. Tusculum Pioneers *** 4. Central Missouri Mules *** Continue reading →

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April 10, 2012 · 10:49 pm

BAD MOVIE PAGE: THE WIZARD OF MARS (1965)

 THE WIZARD OF MARS – (1965) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following  

This 1965 film from David L Hewitt is my all-time favorite kitschy movie about space travel. This one has all the little extras that separate a true bad movie classic from the mere pretenders. One of those extras would be incredibly cheap special effects, some of them cadged right from the old Soviet sci-fi flick Planet of Storms, which is a lot of fun for people like me who’ve seen those same bits of footage show up in countless other bad movies. (Especially the spaceship’s “viewscreen” complete with markings for North, South, East and West, which would, of course, be meaningless in space)

Another extra that this film has is the man I consider to be the Patron Saint of Bad Movies, John Carradine himself, as the titular wizard. I don’t recommend trying to see all the movies John Carradine has appeared in unless you plan on making a career out of it and I don’t recommend that either. (Somewhere around his Continue reading →

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April 10, 2012 · 12:06 am

COOL-NAMED SPORTS TEAM: LOURDES UNIVERSITY

  

LOURDES UNIVERSITY GRAY WOLVES

Location: Sylvania, OH 

Division: NAIA

Site: http://www.lourdesathletics.com/ 

Comment: How cool is this name and logo? Not only would it appeal to animal lovers but it’s also butt-kickingly impressive in its own right! The nickname Gray Wolves ties in to the tale of Continue reading →

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April 8, 2012 · 8:55 pm

BLAXPLOITATION’S “LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY WOMEN”

In Balladeer’s Blog’s fourth look at blaxploitation films from the 1970’s I’ll examine some of the pulp-action heroines. I’ve already covered Pam Grier’s various characters in a previous post, plus I dealt with Syreena, the leader of the black female biker gang in Darktown Strutters in my post on blaxploitation films that transcended their genre. “Sugar” Hill and her legion of zombies were addressed in my Halloween post on blaxploitation horror films. Christy Love is not included because as a television character she lacked the edginess of her big-screen sisters. 

4. VELVET SMOOTH (1976) – Along with The Guy From H.A.R.L.E.M. this film occupies the very bottom of the blaxploitation action barrel. It also sports one of the least memorable theme songs from a category of movies known for their kickass songs and music. 

Johnnie Hill plays the title heroine, a private eye who finds herself hired by a drug kingpin called King Lathrop to find out who’s behind the masked goons moving in on his territory. The plot jumps all over the place, however, and the film’s efforts at presenting action scenes are utterly ridiculous. The characters move very, very slowly but the scenes are not in slow motion. Instead it’s just that the actors, who obviously weren’t skilled martial artists, look like they’re concentrating so hard on their choreography that their moves are comically sluggish. At other times the Continue reading →

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April 8, 2012 · 3:10 pm

NOTEWORTHY COLLEGE BASEBALL RESULTS FROM APRIL 7TH

 USAO TRIUMPHANT – The NAIA’s UNIVERSITY OF SCIENCE AND ARTS OF OKLAHOMA DROVERS (logo at left) handily defeated the MIDAMERICA CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY EVANGELS  in both games of yesterday’s doubleheader. The Drovers (love that name) crushed the Evangels in their own house by scores of 10-4 and 14-3. 

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS – The LSU-SHREVEPORT PILOTS (as in riverboat pilots) are the number 1 team in the NAIA rankings and took 2 games from the HOUSTON-VICTORIA JAGUARS in a tight 3-1 contest followed by an 8-0 blowout. 

INSTANT CLASSICS – The 2nd-ranked OKLAHOMA CITY UNIVERSITY STARS won an epic duel with the ROGERS STATE UNIVERSITY HILLCATS. The Stars were on the road but prevailed 6-5 in the opening game of this SAC battle royal. The Hillcats defeated OCU 3-1 in an equally exciting game 2. 

NOT-SO-CLASSIC – The number 3 LEE FLAMES incinerated the (15) SOUTHERN POLYTECHNIC RUNNING HORNETS in a 7-0 yawner and the 4th-ranked EMBRY RIDDLE AERONAUTICAL UNIVERSITY EAGLES were routed at home by the ever-tough UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH CAROLINA BEAUFORT SAND SHARKS (love that name) by a score of 9-2.

MARATHON MEN – It took an astonishing SEVENTEEN INNINGS for a final result between the SIENA HEIGHTS SAINTS and the LOURDES UNIVERSITY GRAY WOLVES. The Saints at long last emerged with an 8-7 win in this rotation-killing ordeal. Meanwhile, the TRINITY CHRISTIAN TROLLS defeated the CARDINAL STRITCH WOLVES in 13 innings. The final score was Trolls 4 Wolves 3.   

THE SOUND AND THE FURY – The FAULKNER EAGLES, ranked at Continue reading →

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