Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the internet that is truly nonpartisan in its criticism of Liberal nutjobs and Conservative nutjobs. As promised, here is Part Two of Bush Madness, featuring the senses- shattering origin of the Bush Family Killbots and other conspiracy theories regarding the former First Family.
THE ORIGIN OF THE BUSH FAMILY KILLBOTS – Hypnotized assassins and the Bush family go way back according to the conspiracy underground. They developed them through HW’s evil cronies in the CIA decades ago. The test run for these killbots was (sinister music) … the slaying of John Lennon by Mark David Chapman! No, I’m not kidding. It’s canon in Kookdom to believe that Chapman was Killbot Number One, a guineau pig programmed to kill Lennon just to see if the hypnotic assassin project was perfected. Ever thrifty, the Bush family didn’t want to waste any bullets on a meaningless target and, according to this theory, they wanted Lennon dead because they feared that alive he might have led America’s youth into massive rebellion, thus preventing the Reagan 80’s from ever coming to fruition!
Reagan BUSH 80’s – So much for the test run of the Killbots. As you can probably guess, the conspiracy world is convinced that the main targetof this dastardly plot was the one man who stood between George HW Bush and the presidency … Ronald Wilson Reagan. John Hinckley was now unleashed, in all his pudgy fury, to bring down the Gipper and elevate Don Giorgio to the Presidency. Never ones to let reality get in the way of their wild-eyed speculation, the fact that Reagan survived the assassination attempt is dismissed by the Bush Haters as merely an inconvenience. The story goes that Reagan was so seriously wounded he was reduced to a near-vegetable, making him a convenient front-man for the wily HW as he ran the country, nay – the world– from behind the scenes. The true devotees of this theory actually refer to the years 1981 through 1993 as “the three Presidential terms of George HW Bush”.
OCTOBER SURPRISE – Of course, all the Killbot drama would have been unnecessary if Don Giorgio and his running mate Ronald Reagan didn’t get elected in the first place. One of the most mainstream, and therefore one of the most well-known, conspiracy theories surrounding the Bushes involves the 1980 presidential election. The gospel on this theory would have us believe that the BFEE arranged via their Saudi connections, who themselves occupy many a forgotten volume of Conspiracy Kook Lore, to have the Iranians continue to hold the American hostages long enough to ensure Jimmy Carter lost the election. The notion that a man who was once publicly intimidated by a bunny rabbit needed help losing an election is just one of the many hilarious aspects of that theory.
LIHOP, MIHOP OR IHOP? – Now that we’ve extensively covered the Bush family’s past let’s head back to more recent times. The Mother of All Bush Conspiracies (as it were) is the one that would be the funniest if it wasn’t so tragic. As we all know, there are nutjobs who actually pretend George W Bush staged the 9-11 attacks, or at the very least, knew they were about to happen and refrained from stopping them just so he’d have an excuse for open-ended warfare. Conspiracy kooks tend to be very insecure people and they love to use acronyms that make them feel like they’re using technical jargon, adding – they believe – an air of arcane expertise to discussions of their crackpot ideas. Some nuts simply think Bush Let It Happen On Purpose ( the theory they call LIHOP) but the more psychotic ones think he Made It Happen On Purpose (the theory they call MIHOP). These loonies can never answer why a wicked villain would do all that but not bother to sneak some fake weapons of mass destruction into the Iraqi desert to justify his stated reasons for opening that second front in the War On Terror.
FOR THE SHOCKING TALES OF BARBARA BUSH, PRESCOTT BUSH AND THE 2004 ELECTION CLICK HERE FOR PART 3 – https://glitternight.com/2012/04/15/bush-madness-part-three/
© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.