Fezziwig’s Christmas Party
Balladeer’s Blog’s Twelfth Annual Christmas Carol-A-Thon continues!
It’s the time of year when I examine countless adaptations of the Dickens classic from television, movies, radio and elsewhere! As always new versions will be sprinkled in with the old standards.
Here is a look at the 1995 home video Read-Along Christmas Carol. This version is just 50 minutes long and is ideal for youngsters learning how to read or for the hearing-impaired to watch. Continue reading
Filed under A CHRISTMAS CAROL
CAROL’S CHRISTMAS (2021) – Balladeer’s Blog’s Twelfth Annual Christmas Carol-A-Thon continues with this independent flick filmed in Las Vegas for $500,000.00. Special thank you to reader Lee Anne, who in the past recommended 2nd Chance For Christmas, a fun Christmas Carol variation. At the other extreme, Lee Anne wryly recommended Carol’s Christmas, a ridiculous venture that sucks so badly it’s not even So Bad It’s Good.
This was written and directed by David S Womack, who apparently felt he could be “deep” in treating us to A Very Rian Johnson Christmas by having our main character Carol Scrooge get shot to death at the end by Fred, who is her stalker in this film, not Scrooge’s nephew.
Oh, did I subvert expectations by not adding a spoiler warning like I usually do? Well then, I must be a creative genius by the standards of Carol’s Christmas. After all, simply doing something unexpected is brilliant, right? Something you WILL expect is that Amy Pascal’s name shows up in the closing credits.
Regular readers know I’m open to all kinds of dark interpretations of A Christmas Carol, but unlike efforts like the year 2000 Brazilian film in which Scrooge is a drug dealer, Carol’s Christmas is not a flawed but artful dive into a holiday story which gets distorted by grim realities.
No, the overwhelming majority of the movie plays out as a modern day Las Vegas version of the familiar tale, right up through Scrooge’s morning after conversion scene. Carol Scrooge never gets to make things right, however, because as soon as she sets foot outside her door Christmas morning, Fred is waiting and shoots her to death at close range for always rejecting his requests for a date.
It’s the sort of childish twist you could overlook from a teenage filmmaker who thinks they’re being artistic by doing this. Actually, it’s as pointless as producing a modern day adaptation of Romeo and Juliet, but instead of the tragic couple killing themselves at the end they whip out weapons and kill off the supporting cast. Continue reading
Filed under A CHRISTMAS CAROL
FUZZ (1972) – This movie is still marketed as if it’s a vehicle for Burt Reynolds and Raquel Welch but in reality it’s an ensemble movie. And not a very good one. Fuzz is based on the 22nd book – of nearly 60 – in the 87th Precinct series of police novels by Ed McBain aka Evan Hunter. The books were set in the fictional city of Isola, but this movie is set in Boston.
The novel on which this film is based was published in 1968. The book series started in 1956 and had been tried as a television series titled 87th Precinct from 1961-1962. The novels were still being churned out by the original author into the 21st Century, with many characters retained throughout this long run.
Obviously, the science and public image of law enforcement has gone through many, many changes over the decades. The movie Fuzz and its source novel reflect the stylish cynicism and gritty realism of police stories from the period.
The film also attempted to sprinkle in elements of irreverent humor and bawdy sexual hijinks, like it was trying to be F*U*Z*Z in the style of the movie version of M*A*S*H. Unfortunately, the finished product is disjointed and aimless. Let’s take a look at the cast of characters: Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
BR’ER RABBIT’S CHRISTMAS CAROL (1992) – Balladeer’s Blog’s Twelfth Annual Christmas Carol-A-Thon continues! Br’er Rabbit, Br’er Fox, Br’er Bear, Br’er Gator and many other characters created by Joel Chandler Harris are featured in this animated version of the Dickens tale.
Br’er Rabbit’s Christmas Carol is my favorite out of all the versions which present A Christmas Carol as the framework of a Mission Impossible/ Leverage “con job” to make a greedy character change their ways. To nobody’s surprise, Br’er Fox is the Scrooge stand-in who requires a wakeup call.
All the characters live in a town in the American South, where a charity stage production of A Christmas Carol is being performed, with the proceeds going to benefit the terribly ill Timmy Mouse. No, not “Br’er Timmy” or anything like that, just Timmy Mouse as our Tiny Tim stand-in.
Br’er Fox has no time for silly fiction and is completely unfamiliar with the Dickens Christmas classic. That fact gives Br’er Rabbit the idea to work with his friends to instill some holiday spirit into Br’er Fox, who refuses to help Timmy Mouse and charges the other animals exorbitant prices for the firewood he sells. If they can’t afford to pay, they go cold. Continue reading
Filed under A CHRISTMAS CAROL
WHITE LIGHTNING (1973) – Some readers have been asking for non-Christmas blog posts, so here we go with a review of this Burt Reynolds movie back before he settled in to lazily being a clownish parody of himself. Back when he was still legitimately a film star who could play things seriously.
In White Lightning Reynolds was at his dead-serious, dangerous best as an Arkansas convict who starts out the movie with just a year and a half left in his prison term for running moonshine whiskey aka “white lightning.” For the benefit of overseas readers or for readers in their teens or twenties let me take a moment to add some background on the illegal liquor business.
Moonshine liquor was illegal because not only were no taxes paid on the sale of the alcoholic product but because its illicit manufacture meant there were no safety standards. Anti-freeze or other fluids might have been used as ingredients, plus if you’ve ever seen an illegal still there might be drowned rats or squirrels that needed skimmed off the top of the vat from time to time. Continue reading
Filed under opinion
A CAROL CHRISTMAS (2003) – Here’s another entry in Balladeer’s Blog’s Twelfth Annual Christmas Carol-A-Thon. This version is one of the many that tries mining laughs out of setting the Dickens classic in the modern age. These adaptations have varying degrees of success and on a scale of 1 to 10 I would give this effort a 6.5.
A Carol Christmas isn’t trying to be the most touching or the funniest rendition of A Christmas Carol, it’s just a pleasant, fluffy diversion for the Christmas season. Tori Spelling stars as Carol Cartman, a daytime hostess like Jenny Jones, Oprah and so many others. As the Scrooge figure Spelling is selfish, mean-spirited and abuses her staff, especially her assistant Roberta, the Bob Cratchit role.
Roberta (Nina Siemaszko) is a struggling single mother caught up in a custody battle for her version of Tiny Tim in a novel departure from the usual Cratchit family pathos.
Dinah Manoff portrays the ghost of Carol’s late aunt and manager Marla. Aunt Marla was a driven “show-biz mom” type whose monomaniacal, cold-hearted drive was passed on to Carol as she forced the girl into a show business career she never really wanted. Because of this Marla is cursed in a Jacob Marley manner and has come to warn her niece that she faces the same fate unless she changes her ways. Continue reading
Filed under A CHRISTMAS CAROL
THE SHERIFF & THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL KID (1979) – I’m often asked about movies that are safe to watch with children around at Christmas time. Here are TWO such films, both starring gruff but likable Spaghetti Western icon Bud Spencer (Carlo Pedersoli) and, of all people, Cary Guffey – the little kid from Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
The first film, The Sheriff & The Extraterrestrial Kid is also called The Sheriff and the Satellite Kid. Three years BEFORE Steven Spielberg’s E.T. Guffey played an alien child who gets stranded on Earth and meets modern day law enforcement figure Sheriff Hall (Spencer), who helps keep him out of the hands of sinister government officials who want to study the unearthly child.
Cary Guffey’s character is named H7-25 and possesses an alien device similar to a television remote control device. That device lets H7-25 rewind time and other miraculous acts to help Sheriff Hall against their pursuers. The kid often uses it to rewind unpleasant events for the bad guys during the many, many chase and fight scenes.
Sheriff Hall is, typically for Bud Spencer, a brute with a soft heart and muscles of steel whose action scenes are like a hybrid of a Three Stooges short and an old Popeye cartoon.
Continue reading
Filed under opinion
Christmas Carol-A-Thon 2021 rolls along here at Balladeer’s Blog with this look at a very good comedic rendition of the Dickens classic.
A CHRISTMAS CAROL GOES WRONG (2017) – The players from Great Britain’s Mischief Theater Company strike again in their guise as the Cornley Polytechnic Amateur Dramatic Society. After the absolute disaster they made of their 2016 production of Peter Pan (see Peter Pan Goes Wrong), the Society were banned from the BBC.
Undeterred, the troupe take over a live broadcast of A Christmas Carol starring Derek Jacobi. They do this via an all-out commando raid hilariously carried out through action movie cliches like the kind of wire work Tom Cruise has done in multiple Mission Impossible films.
From there the Society mount their own production with their highly flawed but immensely likable players, highlighted by Chris (Henry Shields), Annie (Nancy Zamit), Robert (Henry Lewis) and others. Naturally, a LOT goes wrong.
The iconic Diana Rigg, like Jacobi, plays herself as the narrator and is the fictional aunt of Society player Sandra, who is portrayed by actress Charlie Russell. Continue reading
Filed under A CHRISTMAS CAROL, humor
A JETSON CHRISTMAS CAROL (1985) – Christmas Carol-A- Thon 2021, my 12th annual Christmas Carol-A-Thon, continues here at Balladeer’s Blog! This 1985 animated version of the Dickens classic incorporates the characters from the Hanna Barbera program The Jetsons. They were a family who were the far-future counterparts of the Stone Age family The Flintstones.
A Jetson Christmas Carol is not very good but it’s a lot better than the irritatingly awful Flintstones Christmas Carol. If you know the characters you can fill in the blanks yourself:
George Jetson is the substitute for the novel’s put-upon Bob Cratchit, and finds himself ordered to work very late on Christmas Eve, disappointing his wife Jane and their kids Elroy and Judy. Continue reading
Filed under A CHRISTMAS CAROL
JAMES BATMAN (1966) – HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Balladeer’s Blog takes a Turkey Day look at a film from the Philippines. This movie teams up Batman, Robin and James Bond as they battle an evil organization called C.L.A.W. It’s another of the many unauthorized Batman movies from around the world.
James Batman is in Tagalog with English subtitles and stars Filipino actor Dolphy as both Batman and James Bond, who is sometimes called James Wong in the subtitles and sometimes called James Hika. Dolphy also plays millionaire Dolpho, Batman’s secret identity (?). Robin, played by Boy Alano, is Batman’s brother. It’s that kind of movie.
Dolpho is in love with Shirley (Shirley Moreno), but she considers Dolpho boring and has the hots for Batman. Just as Shirley is oblivious to the fact that Dolpho really IS Batman, she has no idea that her sister (Bella Flores) is secretly the sultry costumed villainess called Black Rose.
Shirley and Bella’s father is the Chairman of the Free Nations, a quasi-United Nations outfit which is given five days to surrender to C.L.A.W. – a communist organization that desires world domination. Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
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