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MEMORABLE QUOTES

Mascot sword and pistolA change of pace blog post for Tuesday. 

“Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.” – Nicolas Chamfort 

“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” – Albert Camus

“Education is a state-controlled manufactory of echoes.” – Norman Douglas

“To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a deep delight of the blood.” – George Santayana

“A best-seller is the gilded tomb of a mediocre talent.” – Logan Pearsall Smith

“Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies.” – Honore de Balzac Continue reading

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THE ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK SHOW (1969-1970) FORGOTTEN TELEVISION

THE ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK SHOW (1969-1970) – No, it wasn’t a Meeting of Minds type of educational program depicting the long-ago German composer Engelbert Humperdinck interacting with other historical figures. Although I would have watched a show like that! (But I’m kind of weird.)

This project starred the Euro-Vegas crooner who also used the name Engelbert Humperdinck, presumably on a dare or something. (I’m kidding.) Picture the comedy series Viva Variety played straight – that’s the aesthetic of The Engelbert Humperdinck Show.

Each episode Engelbert welcomed equally non-threatening and bland entertainers for an hour of music and comedy the way grandma and grandpa used to love. I’m not seriously attacking the show, just pointing out how tastes change over the decades. 

THE EPISODES:

PILOT (Dec 2nd, 1969) – The Dinckster shared the stage with Barbara Eden, Jose Feliciano, Dionne Warwick and his entertainment doppelganger Tom Jones. The Mike Sammes Singers, the Jack Parnell Orchestra and the Paddy Stone Dancers were on hand as well. This episode was rebroadcast on December 26th. 

EPISODE ONE (Jan 21st, 1970) – E-Bert’s guests this time were Tony Bennett, Leslie Uggams, Donald O’Connor and Ed Bishop from UFO. The Irving Davies Dancers joined the Mike Sammes Singers and the Jack Parnell Orchestra as the figurative house entertainers.

Mr. Humperdinck sang Marry Me, The Best Things in Life are Free, When I Fall in Love and Winter World of Love. Bennett did MacArthur Park (I swear!), What the World Needs Now and For Once in My Life.

Uggams sang Come Together and Free Again, while O’Connor belted out The Joker is Me and Look at that Face plus did a World War One Flying Ace comedy sketch with laugh meister Engelbert. Continue reading

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL: NJCAA and CCCAA TOURNAMENT RESULTS

NJCAA DIVISION ONE

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The TRINITY VALLEY COLLEGE CARDINALS and the CONNORS STATE COWBOYS squared off against each other for this division’s crown. The teams went basket for basket in the opening Half, which ended in a 32-32 tie. After the break the Cardinals pulled away from the Cowboys for a 69-61 triumph. Zati Loubaki and Garrett Nuckolls led TVC with 17 points each.

NJCAA DIVISION TWO

FIRST SEMIFINAL – In this game the PARKLAND COLLEGE COBRAS faced the PIMA COLLEGE AZTECS. Come Halftime the Cobras were on top of Pima College 44-38. From there Parkland College left the Aztecs further and further behind to win the game 95-74. Adam Squire led the Cobras with 23 points while teammate Jaden Martin logged a Double Double of 13 points and 10 rebounds. Continue reading

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HORROR OF PARTY BEACH (1964) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Randy Clower and Richard Malmos of The Texas 27 Film Vault (both lower right) featured in a Movie Host article with Stella from Saturday Night Dead and Elvira.

Before MST3K we had The Texas 27 Film Vault, which debuted on Saturday February 9th, 1985. Balladeer’s Blog continues marking the cult show’s FORTIETH ANNIVERSARY YEAR with another episode where an original broadcast date can be narrowed down. 

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday May 25th, 1985 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma. Special thanks to my fellow Texas 27 Film Vault fan Jana for the date of this episode and which serial preceded the movie.

SERIAL: The Phantom Empire (1935), in which Gene Autry played a singing cowboy who saves the world from an advanced underground civilization complete with killer robots who wear cowboy hats.

FILM VAULT LORE: Randy and Richard, both sons of military men, had come up with a very detailed back-story for their fictional Film Vault Corps. Back before the Corps members found themselves protecting old movies from gigantic rats, celluloid-eating cellumites and subterranean Drone species the FVC got its start during the Great Depression. 

FDR’s Works Progress Administration engineered the first Film Vaults beneath America’s major cities. Each subterranean vault was as large as an aircraft carrier and they were originally used to store the monumental film collection of FDR friend Larry Alexander Finley of Frankfort, KY.

Eventually the vaults were used to house the superannuated Golden Turkeys and camp classics that local television stations across the country filled their late-night hours with. The vaults also housed other bits of cultural kitsch like old commercials and tv shows and such. 

THE MOVIE: Horror of Party Beach is one of those flicks that is on EVERYBODY’S Worst Films of All Time list and has been for several decades. In the 1980s the Medved Brothers’ books on Golden Turkeys helped secure its reputation. Just about every Movie Host show presented this film at some point.

Radioactive waste dumped in the sea spawns a tribe of large, goofy-looking, carnivorous sea monsters who walk on two legs and have so many big tongues they seem to have bouquets of hot dogs in their mouths.  Continue reading

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THE CLOCK III: MAY 1940-SEP 1941

This weekend’s light-hearted, escapist superhero post from Balladeer’s Blog is my 3rd look at the original run of the Clock, who debuted in 1936 – BEFORE Superman (1938) and Batman (1939). PART ONE: 1936-1939. PART TWO: 1939-1940.

CRACK COMICS #1 (May 1940)

Title: The Story of Pug Brady

Villain: The Big Shot

Synopsis: Brian O’Brien, the wealthy playboy who is really the superhero called the Clock, acquires his very first sidekick. Pat “Pug” Brady, a former boxer becomes O’Brien’s chauffer in this issue.

Our hero takes Pug into his confidence and tells him he is really the Clock and the former prizefighter becomes his aide in crimefighting. This adventure finds the Clock bringing down a masked villain called the Big Shot who is trying to take over New York City via his gang of criminals and corrupt police officers.

The Clock exposes the Big Shot as Mayor Kozer and shuts down his entire operation. Continue reading

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ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION: CONSOLATIONS IN TRAVEL (1830)

Consolations in TravelCONSOLATIONS IN TRAVEL or THE LAST DAYS OF A PHILOSOPHER (1830) – Written by THE Sir Humphrey Davy, this is largely a work of philosophical discourse but with one section devoted to a science fiction tale: The Vision.   

In that section of the book Sir Humphrey relates a first-person story in which he is taking in the Colosseum in Rome. An extra-terrestrial being calling itself a Genius and claiming to be from the Sun appears to him.

First this honey-voiced being fills him with a series of visions regarding humanity’s history, from prehistoric times to the recent past. After that the visitor from the Sun takes him on a tour of our solar system.

Mascot new lookThe first planet they travel to is Saturn, where Davy is awestruck by the alien landscape. Strange clouds fill the skies and among the oddest planetary features are large columns of liquid which flow from the ground upward. Saturn is inhabited by intelligent beings with three pairs of wings and organs like elephant trunks dangling from their bodies. Continue reading

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL: D3 and NJCAA TOURNAMENTS

NCAA DIVISION THREE

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – It all came down to the TRINITY (CT) BANTAMS fighting it out with the NEW YORK UNIVERSITY VIOLETS. The Violets were threatening an Upset with their 30-27 Halftime edge but Trinity College came out of the locker room ready for a comeback. The Bantams went on to win the game 64-60 led by 20 points from Jarrel Okorougo. Teammate Drew (not Rem) Lazarre logged a Double Double of 10 points and 10 rebounds.

NJCAA DIVISION ONE

FIRST SEMIFINAL – The CONNORS STATE COWBOYS played the SOUTH PLAINS COLLEGE TEXANS. The Cowboys put SPC on Upset Alert at the Half as they led 40-28. From there Connors State carried through, holding on against a Texans rally for an 80-74 triumph. Twenty-eight points from D.J. Dormu led the Cowboys to victory. Continue reading

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VAL KILMER: RIP – TOP SECRET (1984)

With the passing of the one and only Val Kilmer here’s a look at his debut movie, Top Secret

TOP SECRET (1984)

Directed and written by the Zucker Brothers and Jim Abrahams, Top Secret is the Citizen Kane of movies which simultaneously parody spy movies and Elvis Presley flicks.

Val Kilmer, in the years before he took himself way too seriously, could truly do it all and masterfully stars as rock music idol Nick Rivers. Nick gets caught up in an anachronistic World War Two-style spy movie which also incorporates elements of Elvis’ Harum Scarum but with Nazi stereotypes instead of Arab stereotypes.    Continue reading

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FOOL KILLER FOR APRIL FOOL’S DAY: JUNE 28th, 1861

For April Fool’s Day here’s a look at one of the original Fool Killer Letters from Charles Napoleon Bonaparte Evans’ newspaper the Milton Chronicle. This one expresses his disgust with the Civil War tearing the nation apart and his intention to hibernate until it’s over.

FOR PART ONE, INCLUDING THE HISTORICAL CONTEXT, CLICK HERE

Matthew as the Fool Killer would be perfectPART THREE: The third surviving Fool Killer Letter. (See Part One for an explanation) 

As with ancient Greek comedies and so many old movies from the Silent Era, it is terrible that so few of the original Fool Killer Letters have survived. The author of those mock letters from the homicidal vigilante called the Fool Killer was Charles Napoleon Bonaparte Evans, editor of The Milton Chronicle.

In the two previous surviving letters, one from 1857 and one from 1859, we saw that the Fool Killer – like his creator Evans a member of the dying Whig Party – bitterly opposed secession. And like his fellow Southerner Sam Houston condemned the fools bringing on a destructive Civil War.

After this 1861 letter Evans retired the Fool Killer for a time by having the darkly satirical figure stating that he was washing his hands of this nation of fools who had unleashed such a catastrophe. By 1870 Evans brought back the vaguely supernatural figure, who claimed he had been hibernating in a cave since 1861 and had emerged to resume killing corrupt politicians and societal nuisances.

North Carolina and Virginia before the Civil WarJUNE 28th, 1861 – From “Down about Norfolk, VA.” (The Fool Killer wandered North Carolina and Virginia – which back then still included what is now West Virginia – and the dark-humored Fool Killer Letters were syndicated in several newspapers in addition to his North Carolina “birth place” the Milton Chronicle.) 

This letter started out with Jesse Holmes – the name the fictional murderer claimed was his real identity – railing to Editor Evans: 

“When the historian comes to record the cause of the downfall of this once proud and mighty Republic, tell him, for me, to put in these words, to wit: It fell by the hands of Fools!

“I tried my best to avert the dire calamity – I wielded my club (* With which he slew his victims) by day and by night – I bathed it in the blood of demagogues, designing politicians, fanatics, rapscallions and scoundrels” … “I called loudly for help to demolish the fools that seemed to be everywhere springing up like the green grass of this Mother Earth on which you and I tread but alas! alas! too few heard my warning and came to the rescue.”

Bowie Knife PatternsIn this letter the Fool Killer adds a collection of Bowie knives to his arsenal alongside his ever-present club/ walking stick/ cudgel. Future incarnations of the Fool Killer in folk tales, short stories, novels and plays will assign him various axes, guns and even a scythe. 

We rejoin the homicidal vigilante’s account of his recent activities and the victims who fell to his club and his knives, each blade inscribed with the words “Fool Killer.” Continue reading

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SEAN FLYNN: ERROL’S SON ON THE BIG SCREEN

Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at the film appearances of Errol Flynn’s son Sean. The two did not get along, unfortunately, largely because of Errol only caring about Sean when the mood struck him according to Sean.

However, Sean did get to star in various movies thanks to his name and the efforts of his mother Lili Damita.

Growing bored with filmmaking, Sean worked as a photojournalist during the Vietnam War and tragically wound up among the dead victims of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia during 1970.    

THE SON OF CAPTAIN BLOOD (1962) – Since the 1935 swashbuckler Captain Blood propelled Errol Flynn to stardom, the studio was hoping a Son of Captain Blood flick would do the same for Sean. Jock Mahoney, a former Tarzan and stunt man for Errol trained Sean in fencing and acrobatics to prepare for the role.

The younger Flynn starred as Robert Blood, the adventurous son of the famous pirate Captain Peter Blood. Robert has been itching to take to the seas with a crew of his own to command. Early on in the film his mother Arabella (played this time by Ann Todd) at last gives her assent.

The ship Robert commands has among its passengers a handful of giggling young ladies being transported to England along with their stern lady chaperone. This new Captain Blood turns their heads and ultimately Abigail McBride (Alessandra Panaro) beats out the others for his heart.

On the way to England the ship is attacked by pirates and Robert is too inexperienced to prevail over the veteran freebooter he’s up against. That figure is Captain de Malagon (Jose Nieto), an old foe of Robert’s father, who is delighted that his enemy’s son has fallen into his clutches. Continue reading

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