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ATTACK OF THE BEAST CREATURES (1983)

For more bad movie reviews click here: https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/

attack-of-the-beast-creaturesATTACK OF THE BEAST CREATURES (1983)- Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following.       Some passengers from a Transatlantic liner get shipwrecked and marooned on an uncharted island filled with acidic ponds and streams plus a whole tribe of the titular creatures who all look even sillier than the doll that attacked Karen Black in Trilogy Of Terror.

And it’s the 1920s for no reason whatsoever! Nothing in the story has Continue reading →

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EDISON’S CONQUEST OF MARS

Edison's Conquest of Mars 2

Too late Edison learned the awful price to be paid for repeatedly asking if his bikini made him look fat.

From 1898 it’s Garrett P Serviss’ work of science fiction.

PART ONE – After the Martian invaders from H.G. Wells’ War of the Worlds and Serviss’ own Fighters From Mars died from exposure to Earth germs, astronomers around the world realized the ordeal wasn’t over yet. All indications were that the Martians were readying another fleet of spaceships to attack the Earth. CLICK HERE   

PART TWO – Thomas Alva Edison reverse-engineered the Martian space craft. The nations of the Earth then banded together to build an entire fleet of similar vessels and take the war to the Red Planet. President McKinley, Queen Victoria, Kaiser Wilhelm and other heads of state from around the world attend the global summit. CLICK HERE   

PART THREE – After a monumental effort the Earth has a space-fleet of its own, equipped with Edison’s Disintegrator Rays as weaponry. With Edison commanding the flagship and with military men and scientific geniuses from around the world as an officer corps the Earth Fleet departs the Earth. CLICK HERE    Continue reading →

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BAD FILM – OVERLORDS OF THE UFO (1977)

Overlords of the UFOREMEMBER THIS FLICK FROM THE 2010 BALLADEER’S BLOG FILM FESTIVAL?

OVERLORDS OF THE UFO (1977) – Category: Hilariously lame “documentary” about conspiracies, the paranormal and/or the supernatural    This little honey comes from the muck and slime encrusted bottom of the cinematic barrel of movies that followed in the wake of the ridiculous Chariots Of The Gods.

None of these schlockumentaries are very convincing about their subject matter but this flick is so outrageously inept that not even the Ancient Aliens team would be suckered in by it … maybe.

Early on the fun kicks into high gear with mismatched stock footage of Continue reading →

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BAD MOVIE: JUST IMAGINE (1930)

Just Imagine 2 4way

The world of 1980.

JUST IMAGINE was one of those true oddities that make bad movie culture so much fun.

This uproariously campy sci-fi relic started with a comparison of life in America in 1880 and 1930, the year the movie was released.

From there it provided a speculative tale about life 50 more years in the “future” of 1980. The lame special effects, failed predictions about the future, typically stiff acting for a 1930 effort and – worst of all – a few unbearable SONGS make this a true Bad Movie Classic deserving of a Plan 9– sized cult following.   Continue reading →

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TORNADO TOM: HOLYOKE SUPERHERO

Per reader requests Balladeer’s Blog presents another neglected superhero.

tornado-tomTORNADO TOM

Secret Identity: Tom Kenny, farm hand

Origin: While working the fields on a farm in the mid-western United States, Tom Kenny was scooped up and carried aloft by a freak cyclone. After several hours of exposure to the elemental windstorm the man finally dropped into a town he did not recognize.

In addition to granting Tom superpowers the mysterious storm caused him to lose much of his memory outside of his first name. He could not recall where he was from or who his relatives were or if he had known anything about the odd cyclone. Adopting the last name Kenny the amnesiac wandered from town to town and city to city trying to learn about his past.

During his quest he would battle any evils that he came across under the superhero name Tornado Tom.

First Appearance: Cyclone Comics #1 (June, 1940). His final Golden Age appearance came in 1941.

Powers: Continue reading →

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THE ADVENTURES OF A MICRO-MAN (1902) VINTAGE SCIENCE FICTION

adventures-of-a-micro-manTHE ADVENTURES OF A MICRO-MAN (1902) – This work of vintage or “ancient” science fiction was authored by Lancelot Bayly under the pen name Edwin Pallender. The central character of the story was Doctor Geoffrey Hassler, a wealthy eccentric scientist who has discovered “microgen” a gas which shrinks objects down to a very small size.  

Dr Hassler’s demonstrations of the procedure in a diving-bell shaped chamber convinces even the skeptics and he rakes in even more money plus scientific recognition. One day when he, his daughter Muriel, her fiancee Gerald and a family friend named Reverend Eden are all inside the chamber a fluke accident causes them all to be shrunk down to a fraction of an inch.

Nobody was around to witness the accident so the quartet are trapped at tiny size for approximately 10 days, when the microgen treatment will wear off and they will return to normal. In their struggle to survive they manage to escape the chamber and make their way to Dr Hassler’s garden which – at their current size – is like a vast, dangerous jungle to them. Knowing they need food and water the group has no alternative but to venture forth. Continue reading →

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IROQUOIS EPIC MYTH: HODADEION

Iroquois longhouse lodge villageSince these items have proven so popular here’s another of my neglected epic myths presented in chapter format.

PART ONE: THE GOD OF MAGIC – The demigod Hodadeion was the son of the creator deity Tharonhiawakon and a mortal woman. He and his siblings discover their mother’s village to be deserted, the latest victim of a coven of cannibalistic wizards. Hodadeion sets out to slay the wizards and to see if any trace of life remains in other villages. CLICK HERE 

PART TWO: THE WASP-MEN – Hodadeion comes across a few more deserted villages and then gets attacked by the Wasp-Men, winged insectoid humanoids. CLICK HERE

PART THREE: THE WIZARD HODIADATGON – Hodadeion finds his path barred by an evil master of “otgon” – negative or dark life energy. To continue on his quest the hero must defeat Hodiadatgon in a duel of magic. CLICK HERE  Continue reading →

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COOL TEAM LOGO: OAK HILLS CHRISTIAN COLLEGE

OAK HILLS CHRISTIAN COLLEGE WOLFPACK

oak-hills-christian-college-wolfpack

Location: Bemidji, MN

Division: NCCAA

Conference Affiliation: Northern Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

Comment: Continue reading →

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ASSIGNMENT: TERROR (1969)

 I’ve been getting emails requesting that I review this movie, but I already did in 2010. For the folks requesting it, here it is again.

ASSIGNMENT: TERROR (1969) – If they gave a Nobel Prize for bad movie premises this baby would easily wind up wearing one of those big medallions around its neck! Spain’s King of Horror (and John Belushi look-alike) , Paul “Jacinto Molina” Naschy is in this film playing his recurring character, tormented lycanthrope Waldemar Daninsky.

The premise of this movie is that aliens plan to conquer the world by frightening humanity into submission by scaring us with monsters. Call me crazy, but I think Continue reading →

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AMSTERDAMNED (1988)

Amsterdamned

Amsterdamned

AMSTERDAMNED (1988) – Well, this will be an unexpected twist for regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog. Usually I review bad movie classics that don’t have the following they deserve, but in this case I’m reviewing a film that has a reputation for being bad, but really isn’t.

I’ve meant to write this review for awhile now. Amsterdamned is one of those films on the “must see” list for many of my fellow bad movie fans. I felt that way for years, too. After all, the film is from the same director who did The Lift, the hilariously bad “killer elevator” movie that I reviewed long ago on this blog. It also Continue reading →

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