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ADVENTURES IN RAINBOW COUNTRY (1970-1971) FORGOTTEN TELEVISION

ADVENTURES IN RAINBOW COUNTRY (1970-1971) – This forgotten Canadian series starred LOIS MAXWELL herself as Nancy Williams, a widowed single mother raising her teenage son and daughter in a home on Lake Huron in the late 1960s.

Stephen Cottier starred as Nancy’s son Billy while Susan Conway played her daughter Hannah. Billy and his Ojibway friend Pete Gawa (Buckley Petawabano) had various adventures and misadventures which were at the heart of most episodes.

Twenty-six half-hour episodes were produced. The series was among Canada’s highest rated but unfortunately the production company disbanded before additional episodes could be ordered. It has lived on in reruns ever since then.

STANDOUT EPISODES:

LA CHUTE – Billy and Pete scout out campsites and portages for a canoe expedition recreating the journey of explorer Etienne Brule. The priest (Gordon Pinsent) leading the group of youngsters in the undertaking decides to suicidally risk rapids. 

THE FRANK WILLIAMS FILE – A law enforcement official (Donald Harron of Hee Haw fame) tells Nancy, Billy and Hannah that their father/ husband may still be alive. Billy and Pete lead the man to the isolated location where Billy’s father used to have a cabin, only for Nancy to learn the alleged lawman is an imposter.  Continue reading

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JOHN CARPENTER’S CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON: SCRIPT REVIEW FROM 1988

JOHN CARPENTER’S CANCELED 1988 REMAKE OF THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON: IN-DEPTH SCRIPT REVIEW – The internet is crawling with all manner of scripts for movies that didn’t get made, but this is the first time I’m mentioning one. That’s because I feel this one could have been a hit. Maybe not a cash cow but a solid hit.

It would have been directed by a John Carpenter still in his relative prime, for one thing. The screenplay gets a detailed break down below, but if you want a quick overview this 1988 Creature from the Black Lagoon would have taken the story in the inevitable direction needed to avoid nothing but quick underwater fights with the title menace. 

At this point the term “Lovecraftian” has been incredibly overused but let’s face it, that atmosphere is needed to breathe new life into this long-dormant franchise. Lovecraft’s tales of Dagon and Innsmouth and the underwater ruins in The Temple would fit this franchise like a glove. 

In addition to a scientific expedition on the Amazon River like in the original film, the script featured  an underwater structure in the Black Lagoon’s depths.

Artwork and hieroglyphics in the pyramid/ temple indicate a prehistoric time when Gill-Men and humans coexisted. Bones of countless sacrificial victims are found by the expedition members as well as multiple fossils of Gill-Men, a species of which the Creature is the last living representative. Continue reading

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CUCUMBER CASTLE (1970) THE BEE GEES, BLIND FAITH & LULU

CUCUMBER CASTLE (1970) – Eight years before the Bee Gees embarrassed themselves on the big screen with a horrible movie forcing a storyline to the Beatles album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band they embarrassed themselves on the small screen forcing a storyline to their own album Cucumber Castle.

Well sort of. Mostly they just appropriated the title of their song and album Cucumber Castle and fixated on the word “castle” to provide the premise of this 54-minute film made for British television.

Lulu, Spike Milligan, Vincent Price and many more show up in the supporting cast. Sammy Davis, Jr.’s scenes were cut. Or were removed under threats from Sammy’s pal Frank Sinatra. Not so lucky was Eleanor Bron. I can say no more. (See what I did there?) 

The musical misfire was directed by Hugh Gladwish … the director of THE GHOST GOES GEAR (1966), reviewed last week here at Balladeer’s Blog. Barry and Maurice Gibb are the credited writers, however, so the “comedy” sketches are only sometimes as bad as those in the 1966 theatrical movie. 

Cucumber Castle is so awful that not being in it was presumably brother Robin Gibb’s greatest professional triumph. He had recently left the Bee Gees in a huff to try a solo career, and little Andy Gibb was only twelve years old, so Barry and Maurice, who also produced, were left holding the whoopie cushion bag.

In a fairytale land resembling Elizabethan England, a king (comedian Frankie Howerd) is on his deathbed. Barry Gibb plays Prince Frederick and Maurice plays Prince Marmaduke, the king’s sons.

Not only does Howerd resemble Mel Brooks but his intentionally hammy performance as the dying monarch would fit right into a Brooks comedy. And Peter Blythe’s opening narration contained a couple of reasonably funny jokes, so I briefly dared to hope that this telefilm might be better than its reputation.

That was The First Mistake I Made, to force in the title of a Bee Gees song. Continue reading

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ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION: THE Nth MAN (1920-1924)

Nth ManTHE Nth MAN (1920 – 1924?) – Written by Homer Eon Flint, who died in 1924. Though this short novel was not published until 1928 many fans of the author argue that it was actually written in 1920.

The story is set in what was then the near future of the 1930s. The Nth Man is an enormous humanoid figure with hardened skin like the shells of certain species of animals. He is supposedly 2 miles tall, but that would make many of the events in the novel impractical if not impossible.

The mysterious giant is at first regarded as half rumor and half Tall Tale as he sets the world talking with some incredible actions. He tears apart some of the Great Wall of China, he removes the head of the Sphinx and places it on top of one of the pyramids and he picks up a ship bound for Australia and carries it for thousands of miles.  

BALLADEER’S BLOG

Showing more cognitive purpose the Nth Man also makes off with an entire building to thwart a plot by anarchists and saves a little girl from drowning. All of the preceding deeds have been accomplished under cover of darkness but now the colossus comes out into the open, emerging from San Francisco Bay to tower over the city.  

The Nth Man walks from coast to coast, easily defeating the aerial and land forces that attempt to stop him. You would think this proto-Kaiju sequence would have inspired a film adaptation long ago. The gigantic figure goes to Washington D.C. and lays down some demands from on high. Continue reading

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SIR GRAPEFELLOW AND BARON VON REDBERRY

Time for another look back at a clash of cereal mascots. Previously, Balladeer’s Blog covered the Monster Cereals like Count Chocula, Frankenberry, Boo-Berry, Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy as well as the rivalry between Quisp and Quake.

General Mills tried replicating their Monster Cereal success with a pair of cartoon World War One flying aces as mascots for two new cereals. Sir Grapefellow was a stiff upper lip British fighter pilot whose cereal featured oats and grape-flavored marshmallows called Starbits. Baron Von Redberry, clearly based on Germany’s Red Baron, represented a cereal with oats and berry-flavored marshmallows/ Starbits.

The rivalry between the two flying aces and their cereals began in 1972, a year after General Mills had kicked off their Monster Cereal line with Count Chocula and Frankenberry as the dueling mascots. (If you’re wondering, Quisp and Quake were Quaker Oats products.) Continue reading

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BALLADEER’S BLOG’S COLLEGE BASKETBALL RESULTS: JAN 10th

The USCAA no longer has football, so I had no coverage of them from Aug-Dec.

USCAA (United States Collegiate Athletic Association) DIVISION ONE

CLOSE CALL FOR NUMBER ONE – The nation’s number one team – the NORTH AMERICAN UNIVERSITY STALLIONS – clashed with the visiting TEXAS A&M AT TEXARKANA EAGLES (should be Texarks). The 1st Half ended with the Stallions on top 37-29 but Texarkana was ready for a comeback. Their rally fell short as NAU held on to win 74-71. Jayden Jackson led the Stallions with 23 points, while teammate Joseph Cormier got a Double Double of 11 points and 12 rebounds.

CENTURY CLUB – Teams scoring 100 or more points in Regulation: The (6) NEWPORT NEWS APPRENTICE SCHOOL BUILDERS (Shipbuilders) obliterated the CENTRAL INTERNATIONAL COLLEGE CARDINALS 121-65   ###   The BLOOMFIELD COLLEGE BEARS won 110-108 at the BRYANT & STRATTON COLLEGE (Albany) BOBCATS   ###   And the (10) PAUL QUINN COLLEGE TIGERS mauled the WILEY UNIVERSITY WILDCATS 107-53. Continue reading

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MARVEL ISSUES: JULY 1967

This weekend’s escapist, light-hearted superhero post from Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at Marvel’s publications from July 1967.

SPIDER-MAN Vol 1 #50 (Jul 1967)

Title: Spider-Man No More

Villain: Kingpin (FIRST APPEARANCE)

Synopsis: Spider-Man stops the robbery of an armored car and bystanders’ wary reaction to him makes him angry about how thoroughly J. Jonah Jameson’s media lies about him have tainted his image in some people’s minds.

That, combined with Aunt May’s latest turn for the worse health-wise (yawn), makes Peter Parker feel even worse, especially since he hasn’t spent as much time checking on his aunt ever since he moved into Harry Osborn’s plush apartment with him.

The next day at Empire State University Peter fails a biochemistry test, prompting Professor Miles Warren (yes) to express disappointment since Peter is such a brilliant student. Privately, Peter blames every bad thing in his life on being Spider-Man and he decides to never again don the costume.

Over the next few weeks, the crime rate in New York City skyrockets with no Spider-Man getting in the way of villainy and only Daredevil fighting street-level wrongdoing. Our hero’s absence is noted in criminal circles, inspiring the Kingpin to at last operate openly.

He clashes with Spider-Man’s old foe the Big Man in a war over control of New York’s rackets. This makes Peter Parker realize that it’s more important to be doing the right thing even if the media attacks you for it, so he swings back into the fray as Spider-Man. Continue reading

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ELVIS AND ANDREW JACKSON: TWO PEAS IN A HISTORICAL POD ON THIS DATE

Elvis’ January 8th birthday being the same date as the Battle of New Orleans in 1815 have tied the two figures together in a very offbeat way. Here are some samplings of the offspring from these two strange bedfellows.

I WANT EL SANTO AND I WANT HIM NOW!

ORION: THE ELVIS PRESLEY HOAX/ PUT-ON/ TEASE – My examination of life imitating art imitating life down the bizarre rabbit hole of the 1978-1980 singer Orion and the resulting milking of the whole “Is he really Elvis Presley still alive, after all?” nonsense. Click HERE.

ROCK ‘N’ ROLL VS THE REDCOATS (2015) – The fake musical starring an Elvis impersonator as General Andrew Jackson and a female impersonator as Ann-Margret playing pirate Jean Lafitte. General Elvis defends New Orleans from a British Invasion spearheaded by an army of pastiches of English rock stars of the 1960s. Click HERE. Continue reading

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THE GHOST GOES GEAR (1966) BAD MOVIE REVIEW

THE GHOST GOES GEAR (1966) – Okay, how could anyone resist a film that features a song titled Show Me Your English Teeth? This movie was the Spencer Davis Group’s addition to all the imitation Help! flicks from the 1960s as so many British bands tried to replicate the Beatles’ big screen success but fell below even some of the worst Monkees episodes in quality. 

And speaking of the Monkees, the show starring that pre-packaged “rock band” came out in September of 1966, the same month as The Ghost Goes Gear. Must have been something in the drinking water on both sides of the Atlantic that month. 

For those readers not familiar with them, the Spencer Davis Group was made up of THE Steve Winwood, his brother Muff Winwood (but not his sister Dick Winwood), Pete York and of course Spencer Davis.

Let’s face it, NO multi-band movie could possibly be as bad as Musical Mutiny, the Iron Butterfly (and others) Golden Turkey that I fell in love with back in 2021 and wrote a scene-by-scene review of. Musical Mutiny featured the ghost of a pirate plus a teenage mad scientist, but The Ghost Goes Gear had just a ghost. And just barely at that. Continue reading

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APOCRYPHAL GOSPEL OF THE SAVIOR

A look at one of the many Apocryphal Gospels. 

THE GOSPEL OF THE SAVIOR – The narrative of this gospel centers around dialogues between Jesus and his apostles in the last few days before his arrest and crucifixion.

Some of the material is similar to the Gospels of John and Matthew, but some is Gnostic, with references to discarding the useless garment of the body so the soul can return to the empyrean realm (or Pleroma, if you insist). 

The most striking departure in this gospel comes in the Garden of Gethsemane segment, when Jesus, as God the Son, traditionally prays to God the Father to spare him the ordeals that lay ahead. In The Gospel of the Savior Jesus transports himself and his apostles to the throne-room of God the Father where he makes his appeal in person. Continue reading

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