Tag Archives: Balladeer’s Blog

DEAFULA (1975) ONE OF BALLADEER’S BLOG’S GREATEST HITS

Deafula BalladeerThis is one of my most- requested Bad Movie reviews, so here it is again. Deafula is yet another of those bad movies that has such a bizarre premise that many believe the film to be an urban legend, like the turkey-monster flick Blood Freak. Get ready for a deaf vampire, a very odd witch and the most joyously goofy hunchback in cinematic history.  

Deafula 2DEAFULA (1975) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following

Good intentions go horribly wrong in this film. Much like with Blood Freak, there are people who insist this film is just an urban legend and that it doesn’t really exist. Those people are wrong again. This horror film is in black and white and, as the title suggests, the vampire as well as everyone else in this movie’s world are deaf and communicate through sign language, billed as “Signscope” in the movie posters and in the opening credits, as if this was a pioneering technical gimmick on a par with Sensurround. (Although considering how lame Sensurround was there may be something to that)

Never fear, though, there is also voice-over narration provided by different people for each actor, so that people who don’t know sign language can follow the story. Obviously this is all very noble, and in fact Peter Wechsburg, who produced this film and stars as Deafula, was responsible for an all-sign language newscast for the hearing impaired. That newscast originated in Portland, OR, which is also where Deafula was filmed. Continue reading →

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MALDOROR 12: THE PHILOSOPHICAL GRAVEDIGGER

Balladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of the macabre 1868 French language work The Songs of Maldoror.

THE PHILOSOPHICAL GRAVEDIGGER

Maldoror gravediggerThe supernatural being Maldoror, here referring to himself as “He who knows not how to weep”, found himself in Norway in his wanderings. While in the Faroe Islands he observed men who hunt for the nests of sea birds in mountain crevices hundreds of feet deep. He mused that if he was in charge of such an expedition he would have knicked the strong rope the mountain climbers use, weakening it so he could enjoy watching at least one of them plummet to a bone-shattering death far below.  

This image of a human body fatally falling into a massive hole in the earth put him in mind of freshly-dug graves. Thus inspired, Maldoror indulged in a nocturnal exploration of the area’s graveyards. In one in particular he passed a band of necrophiliacs violating beautiful corpses and stopped to chat with a nearby gravedigger.

With typical vanity Maldoror told the gravedigger to consider himself lucky to be interacting with him. He (Maldoror) fancied himself a figurative “great whale” momentarily raising his head above the waters of the Sea of Death in which he made his home, granting a mere mortal like the gravedigger the privilege of seeing him in his dread majesty.    Continue reading →

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MALDOROR 11: DISTANT SCREAMS OF MOST POIGNANT AGONY

Balladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of the macabre 1868 French language work The Songs of Maldoror.

DISTANT SCREAMS OF MOST POIGNANT AGONY

Maldoror 11For a change of pace we readers are not immersed entirely in a first person narration by Maldoror himself. This section begins with a mother, father and their beloved child Edward spending a quiet evening together. The parents are advanced in age and did not have Edward until very late in life after years of longing for a child of their own. 

The happy trio catch a glimpse of the supernatural being Maldoror peering in at them through a window. Though they think they succeed at shooing him away from their home little Edward cannot get the hideous man out of his mind. The family’s conversation is periodically and repeatedly punctuated by what the author describes as “distant prolonged screams of the most poignant agony.”  Continue reading →

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MALDOROR 10: A RAIN OF BLOOD FROM MY MIGHTY FORM

Balladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of the macabre 1868 French language work The Songs of Maldoror.

A RAIN OF BLOOD FROM MY MIGHTY FORM

krew.png (222×239) An uncharacteristically vulnerable Maldoror wonders if he is in his final hours. He defiantly and gleefully boasts that none of the world’s lying, parasitic clergy will be attending him when his end comes. If his supernaturally long life is at last over he plans to meet it cradled on the waves of the sea or atop a forbidding mountain peak. 

Our narrator further points out that no sign of either sorrow or fear will mark his hideous visage at the approach of his merciless annihilation. Against all the odds he marshals what is left of his strength and begins to float across the sky, so that he can watch man’s inhumanity to man to the very last. His eldritch form spreads like a coal-black cloud, blotting out the sun and inflicting violent eruptions of lightning on the ground below. Continue reading →

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MALDOROR 9: I SALUTE YOU, ANCIENT OCEAN

Balladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of the macabre 1868 French language work The Songs of Maldoror.

I SALUTE YOU, ANCIENT OCEAN  

Maldoror OCeanThe supernatural figure Maldoror reflects on his fascination with the ocean. He reminds readers that he is a monster and that his hideous face doesn’t come close to matching the ugliness of his soul. His demented reflections on the nature of the ocean follow, along with the oft-repeated line “I salute you, ancient ocean”. (“Je te salue, vieil ocean”)

Per his perverse nature Maldoror’s attempt to sing the praises of the ocean can’t help but be couched in eerie and disturbing imagery. He longs to lie beside the ocean in the tentacles of an affectionate octopus as the two kindred spirits admire the waves and the watery vastness.  Continue reading →

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GORGEOUS TEDDI BARRETT HAS SPOTTED …

Teddi Barrett, the Sexiest Woman Alive who graciously models as Edward Wozniak's Mordillo Blush.

Teddi Barrett, the Sexiest Woman Alive who graciously models as Edward Wozniak’s Mordillo Blush.

Continue reading →

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MALDOROR 8: AN INSATIABLE THIRST FOR THE INFINITE

Balladeer’s Blog continues its poem by poem examination of the 1868 French language work The Songs of Maldoror by Isidore Ducasse, the self-titled Count de Lautreamont.

AN INSATIABLE THIRST FOR THE INFINITE

Maldoror 8This section begins with Maldoror wandering through the darkness of the night, at times nostalgically recalling the terror and dread with which he used to regard the sounds and distant impressions of the overnight hours. But that was when he was merely a human child and his mother would try to calm him as he huddled beneath his blankets listening fearfully to the savage or vaguely sinister sounds made by the beasts who roam the night.

She would explain away the horror of the distant noises by assuring him that the beasts meant no harm, but were instead filled with an insatiable thirst for the infinite, the same thirst she sensed in the son she was trying to comfort. Now, fully grown and more than human Maldoror prowls the night as one of the beasts making noises that terrify others in their beds. Supreme in his element our narrator blissfully describes some of the nightly tableaus that catch his attention. Continue reading →

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MERCHANT SHIPS (424-421 B.C.): ANCIENT GREEK COMEDY

Ancient Greek Merchant Ship

Ancient Greek Merchant Ship

Balladeer’s Blog presents another examination of an ancient Greek political satire. In this case it is one of those works of Aristophanes which have survived only in very fragmentary condition.

MERCHANT SHIPS  

Merchant Ships was written and publicly staged in approximately 424 B.C. to 421 B.C. according to the available data. It was another of Aristophanes’ comedies protesting the pointlessness of the Greek city-states warring among themselves instead of uniting against the encroachments of the Persian Empire.

I can’t help but view this particular comedy in light of my own country’s current plight of having the rival criminal gangs called the Democratic and Republican Parties pointlessly rob the country blind and run it into the ground while virtually ignoring external threats.

In this comedy the captains of two separate merchant ships – one from Athens and one from their foe Sparta – have grown weary of the pointless conflict and make a separate peace with each other. They and their crew members get to spend the play enjoying the food and drink from their cargoes and living out a metaphorical return to the prosperous days before the Peloponnesian War when peace reigned among the various Greek city-states.  

Franchises aka Merchant Ships

Franchises aka Merchant Ships

For a modern-day adaptation (as opposed to a straight translation) the situation could be depicted by having a Chick Fil-A restaurant right next to a Starbucks coffee shop. The managers and employees of these stereotypically Republican (Chick Fil-A) and stereotypically Democratic (Starbucks) establishments could grow tired of the political feuding, especially since both political parties often call for boycotts of the opposing business.   Continue reading →

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MALDOROR 7: FROM TODAY I ABANDON VIRTUE

Maldoror 7Balladeer’s Blog continues its poem-by-poem examination of the 1868 work The Songs of Maldoror by Isidore Ducasse, the self-titled Count de Lautreamont. The title I’m assigning to this 7th piece for cross-reference purposes is From Today I Abandon Virtue. Prose translations are readily available in English for those who dislike poetry.

FROM TODAY I ABANDON VIRTUE

This poem begins with our supernatural figure Maldoror boasting of a tacit alliance he has made with prostitution to sow discord among families and erode the societal bond. He begins to recount the origin of that pact.

One night while walking through a graveyard Maldoror encountered a glow-worm as large as the mausoleum it stood next to. The light given off by the creature was blood-red, not greenish like glow-worms usually give off. The glow-worm, speaking to him in French told him he was providing illumination for him to read the inscription on a nearby tomb. Continue reading →

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MALDOROR 6: THE BLOOD AND TEARS OF A CHILD

Maldoror 2Balladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of The Songs of Maldoror, the neglected 1868 masterpiece of surreal horror written by Isidore Ducasse, the self-designated Count de Lautreamont. As I’ve mentioned previously this 1868 work was so far ahead of its time it is still considered disturbing not only for its violence and demented sexuality but also for its vehement assault on religion and its overall tone.  

The Blood and Tears of a Child is the title I have chosen for this 6th poem from The Songs of Maldoror. I will be assigning unofficial titles to each poem for the sake of clarity and for easier cross-referencing. Titles will work better in the memory since otherwise we have only the poem numbers to go by. My unofficial titles should be more efficient than having to refer to a section of the book as “the part where Maldoror is crucified and his testicles are full of spiders” or such.  

THE BLOOD AND TEARS OF A CHILD

This section begins with our mysterious, once-human figure Maldoror rhapsodizing about how wonderful it is to let one’s fingernails grow for fifteen days (shades of Coffin Joe or Freddy Krueger’s bladed glove). He considers it the perfect length for plunging them into the breast of a child you’ve snatched from its bed. He cautions against killing the child outright, so that its long-term suffering can be better enjoyed.

Blindfolding the child first is a must, the monster maintains, because after days of slashing the child’s flesh from its body and breaking the child’s bones Maldoror enjoys slipping away, then returning to the torture room pretending to be a good Samaritan rescuing the child. Continue reading →

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