November 26, 2014 · 10:26 pm

THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT THANKSGIVING EPISODE FROM 1985

Blood Freak (1972)

Blood Freak (1972)

In the middle 1980′s/ Way down on Level 31 …

Before MST3K there was The Texas 27 Film Vault! Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of this neglected cult show from the 1980′s with another review of an episode where an original air date can be determined. This time around I’m taking a look at the show’s Thanksgiving episode from the Saturday night before Thanksgiving in 1985.

Randy and Richard showed and mocked Blood Freak, the notorious “Turkey Monster” movie that has been featured by virtually every Movie Host show except MST3K over the years. The Turkey Monster and the main character’s job at a turkey farm have made this a Thanksgiving Season favorite for lovers of bad movies. 

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday November 23rd, 1985 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

Blood Freak2FILM VAULT LORE: Our machine-gun toting members of the fictional Film Vault Corps Randy Clower and Richard Malmos used to joke about how The Texas 27 Film Vault seemed to show every movie that had the word “blood” in the title. Previously I’ve reviewed the T27FV episodes featuring the movies Queen of Blood and Blood Beach but there are plenty more coming with sanguinous titles.

Thank you to my fellow T27FV fan Dolores for this quote about Ken Miller, who played “Tex” on the show and who, tragically, committed suicide in 1988: “I loved the random bits of madness added by the gung ho Tex each episode! He always reminded me of Robert Duvall’s character Kilgore from Apocalypse Now. My favorite catch-phrase from Tex was when he would say “Commies don’t watch bad movies!” the way Duvall said “Charley don’t surf!” in Apocalypse Now.”  

Flash Gordon Conquers the UniverseSERIAL: Before showing and mocking the movie our Film Vault Technicians First Class showed and mocked a chapter of the 1940 serial Flash Gordon Conquers The Universe. Special thanks to my fellow Vaultie Channing for her providing the date and serial for this episode.  

THE FILM: BLOOD FREAK (1972) – This movie is about a man who turns into a murderous monster with the head of a turkey after he eats a Continue reading →

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November 26, 2014 · 11:36 am

OLIVER! – BALLADEER’S BLOG’S THANKSGIVING EVE TRADITION

"Please, sir, may I have some more?"

“Please, sir, may I have some more?”

It’s that time of year again! Just a note in the spirit of the holiday season to mention my favorite Thanksgiving Eve movie.

Every Wednesday before Thanksgiving I make a point out of watching the musical Oliver!

I know the Continue reading →

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November 26, 2014 · 12:02 am

WHAT KIND OF SAVAGES BEHEAD CHILDREN?

The Ben Affleck Brigade about to go in search of sandwiches to eat.

The Ben Affleck Brigade about to go in search of sandwiches to eat.

Oh, yeah … Muslim savages. Fanatical practitioners of the blood-soaked religion founded by the insane child rapist named Muhammad, fanatics who also teach their own children to do nothing but kill and kill and kill.  

The Obama-spawned ISIS are beheading Kurdish children while teaching their own children to do what Muslim fanatics do best – kill. Kill non-Muslims, kill Muslims who disagree with their own interpretation of Islam, but most of all … kill. It’s why I sarcastically put all the sub-groups of Muslim terrorists under a big umbrella organization called I.S.L.A.M – Intolerant Savages Loathing All Modernity.    Continue reading →

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November 25, 2014 · 9:45 pm

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF PICTURE GETS CLEARER AFTER WEEK 13

football dogsJust days before we enter the final week of the college football regular season, the official Top 25 ranking will be unveiled Tuesday evening, but the latest mock for the College Football First Four shows the same four teams from last week will top the playoff field. The mock poll includes Florida State, Alabama, Oregon and Mississippi State at the top. The college football betting odds for the NCAAF playoffs are pretty much the same, with the Seminoles dominating the lines as the top favorite team to win the national championship. Continue reading →

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November 25, 2014 · 3:01 pm

TURKEY DAY: BAD MOVIES AND SHORTS FOR THANKSGIVING

Blood Freak (1972)

Blood Freak (1972)

For the Thanksgiving holiday Balladeer’s Blog is focusing on bad movies and hilariously lame educational shorts that have a specific Thanksgiving theme. As always my Bad Movie page contains full-length reviews of the films I’m offering a brief synopsis of here.

BLOOD FREAK (1972) – This movie is about a man who turns into a murderous monster with the head of a turkey after he eats a chemically treated gobbler at the turkey farm where he works. Blood Freak has been a cult classic for Thanksgiving for decades now, with many Movie Host shows of the late 70’s onward making a point of screening it at this time of year (including The Texas 27 Film Vault). The biker who turns into the blood-crazed turkey monster is Continue reading →

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November 25, 2014 · 12:01 am

THE UNPRETENTIOUS PHILOSOPHER (1775): ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION

The spacecraft departs from Mercury.

The spacecraft departs from Mercury.

THE UNPRETENTIOUS PHILOSOPHER (1775) – By Louis-Guillaume de La Follie. The original French title of this work of proto-science fiction was Le Philosophe sans Pretention ou l’Homme Rare, but in the 21st Century it’s more generally known by the slightly shorter title. 

One of the central characters of this story is an Earth scholar named Nadir, and I have no idea if it’s a coincidence or if the people behind the 1960’s film Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster were paying sly homage to de La Follie by naming one of the characters Nadir. At any rate Nadir is visited by Ormisais, a space traveler from the planet Mercury.

Ormisais regales Nadir with details about life on Mercury and also informs him that he has crash-landed on Earth and needs rare elements to repair his electrically -powered craft so that he can return to his home planet. The Mercurians had a planetary version of the British Royal Society and the French Academy, but it had a much more limited membership. Continue reading →

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November 24, 2014 · 10:33 pm

JAMES BOND’S ARCHENEMY AT LAST RETURNS!

Ernst Stavro Blofeld stroking his favorite pussy.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld stroking his favorite pussy.

IT’S OFFICIAL! The last legal barriers have been been overcome and 007’s archenemy Ernst Stavro Blofeld, the ruthless head of S.P.E.C.T.R.E. will be returning in the very next James Bond film!

Christoph Waltz will be portraying the malevolent madman known for killing Bond’s wife of one day Teresa Draco-Bond, for running a suicide garden in Japan, for his biological warfare agents and for much more.

Ernst Stavro Blowhard photographed in mid-rant.

Ernst Stavro Blowhard photographed in mid-rant.

Not seen since the pre-credits teaser in For Your Eyes Only (where he couldn’t even be referred to by name because of the legal battle that was already underway) Blofeld will at last make his long-overdue return! Continue reading →

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November 24, 2014 · 8:13 pm

MUSLIM GAMBIA PASSES LAW PUNISHING HOMOSEXUALITY WITH LIFE IMPRISONMENT

A SYMBOL OF HATRED, SLAVERY, MASS RAPE AND INFANTICIDE.

A SYMBOL OF HATRED, SLAVERY, MASS RAPE AND INFANTICIDE.

Gambia, a 90% Muslim nation, has made homosexuality punishable with life imprisonment. This follows the nation’s 2008 warning to gay people to leave the country or be subject to that increasingly popular Muslim sacrament of beheading. Ben Affleck was too gutless to comment.

I will point out again that Islam is the most homophobic, misogynistic and otherwise intolerant religion in the world at this particular point in history.  Continue reading →

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November 23, 2014 · 4:36 am

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF AND BOWL RESULTS FROM NOVEMBER 22nd

*** NCCAA CHAMPIONSHIP ***

North Greenville helmet NEWVICTORY BOWL – The Victory Bowl is the annual Championship Game in the National Christian College Athletic Association. This year’s matchup saw the NORTH GREENVILLE UNIVERSITY CRUSADERS take on the SHORTER UNIVERSITY HAWKS. A 7-7 1st Quarter tie became a 10-7 advantage for the Hawks by Halfime.

The Crusaders quickly grabbed a 14-10 lead in the 2nd Half which stood at 21-16 to end the 3rd Quarter. From there NGU shut out Shorter in the 4th while exploding offensively for a 42-16 blowout win. QB Nelson Hughes passed for 267 yds and 2 TD’s. CONGRATULATIONS TO THE CRUSADERS FOR THEIR FOURTH NCCAA CHAMPIONSHIP!  

*** NAIA PLAYOFFS ***

St Xavier UniversityCATFIGHT – The SAINT XAVIER UNIVERSITY COUGARS welcomed the CAMPBELLSVILLE UNIVERSITY TIGERS yesterday in the Opening Round of the NAIA playoffs. The Cougars and Tigers were tied at 7-7 in the 1st Quarter but by the break SXU trailed Campbellsville 21-17. The Cougars came back to seize a 31-28 advantage in the 3rd Quarter and held on for a 38-35 victory. SXU QB John Rhode threw for 416 yards and 3 Touchdowns in the win!    Continue reading →

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November 22, 2014 · 3:58 pm

PULP HERO G-8 AND HIS BATTLE ACES: STORIES SEVENTY TO SEVENTY-TWO

Patrol of the Iron ScourgeBalladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of the neglected Pulp Hero G-8. This is a story-by- story look at the adventures of this World War One American fighter pilot who – along with his two wingmen the Battle Aces – took on various supernatural and super- scientific menaces thrown at the Allied Powers by the Central Powers of Germany, Austria- Hungary and the Ottoman Muslim Turks.

G-8 was created by Robert J Hogan in 1933 when World War One was still being called simply the World War or the Great War. Over the next eleven years Hogan wrote 110 stories featuring the adventures of G-8, the street-smart pug Nippy Weston and the brawny giant Bull Martin. The regular cast was rounded out by our hero’s archenemy Doktor Krueger, by Battle, G-8’s British manservant and by our hero’s girlfriend R-1: an American spy/ nurse whose real name, like G-8’s was never revealed.

Wings of the Black Terror70. WINGS OF THE BLACK TERROR (July 1939) – The Chinese genius Chu Lung is back for another go-round with G-8! As always I consider Chu Lung to be just a pale imitation of Fu Manchu or Robert J Hogan’s own Wu Fang, the star of one of the short-lived Villain Pulps.

What I really like about the Chu Lung stories is that they serve as a reminder of the oft-forgotten fact that China entered World War One in August of 1917 on the side of the Allied Powers. In real life China’s inner turmoil prevented it from having much impact on the war but in the G-8 stories Chu Lung was a Chinese traitor who worked for the Central Powers and was one of the deadliest enemies the Allied Powers faced.   Continue reading →

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