Category Archives: Bad and weird movies

FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH PART 3-D (1982) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Friday the 13th Part 3DBefore MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault! In the middle 1980’s, way down on Level 31 Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class hosted this neglected cult show. Balladeer’s Blog continues its celebration of the program’s 30th anniversary year.

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday February 14th, 1987 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. 

SERIAL: None. The movie, Film Vault Corps comedy sketches and commercials filled up the entire two and a half hours this time.

FILM VAULT LORE: This episode marked the second time The Texas 27 Film Vault came with a warning about violent content. It was also at least the second time they riffed on a movie that was originally in 3-D. Randy and Richard did various jokes about wearing 3-D glasses and 3-D effects coming out of the screen at them as they watched the movie. Continue reading →

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EARL OWENSBY HALLOWEEN TRIPLE FEATURE

Owensby's macabre Grim Reaper/ Fool Killer style monster from A Day of Judgment.

Owensby’s macabre Grim Reaper/ Fool Killer style monster from A Day of Judgment (1981).

What Larry Buchanan was to Texas …

What Bill Rebane was to Wisconsin …

What William Girdler was to Louisville and Andy Milligan was to Staten Island, Earl Owensby was to North Carolina. “The Dixie DeMille” himself is the subject as Halloween Month continues! 

Low-budget filmmaker Earl Owensby occupies a unique niche in American movie making. Like Roger Corman before him, Owensby set out to be absolutely certain that his films made a profit and – again like Corman – a lot of his flicks were unpretentious B-Movies. Owensby notoriously never spent more than a million dollars on a film and never accepted a distribution deal that would net his company less than eight million dollars.

Many of Owensby’s movies are entertaining and boast decent production values, but for the sake of this review I will be looking at three of his lesser efforts that I feel fall into the fun-bad category.  

Wolfman 1WOLFMAN (1979) – With this movie Owensby completed his move from being a budget Joe Don Baker in vigilante movies like Challenge, The Brass Ring and Dark Sunday to being a budget Burt Reynolds in race-car and prison flicks like Death Driver and Seabo to being a regional horror film producer like Bill Rebane.  

In a sprawling southern mansion the aged patriarch of the Glasgow family lies on his death-bed. A minister who is really a Satanist (Ed Grady) is in cahoots with some of Glasgow’s sleazy heirs to pass the family curse of lycanthropy on to the eldest Glasgow male – Colin Glasgow (Earl Owensby). You’d think that would happen naturally if you’re a fan of other werewolf films but Owensby plays by his own rules in this southern-fried wolfman movie. Continue reading →

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DEATH SPA (1989) AND KILLER WORKOUT (1987)

Death SpaAs Halloween month continues here at Balladeer’s Blog how about we review a couple of “exercises in horror” (Thank you, I’m here all week!) in the form of Death Spa (1989) and Killer Workout aka Aerobicide (1987). 

DEATH SPA (1989) – Originally begun in 1986 but not completed and released until 1989, Death Spa is my favorite of the two Health Spa horror films of the 1980s. Part of the fun comes from the kitsch casting:

Merritt “Captain Kirk’s Son” Butrick plays David, a man whose sister Catherine killed herself under suspicious circumstances, causing him to blame his promiscuous brother-in law for her death.  

Ken Foree, the cult horror figure, is wasted as a maintenance man whose role is virtually non-existent yet this lame flick gets shown at Ken Foree film festivals. Go figure. Continue reading →

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BLOOD OF DRACULA’S CASTLE (1969) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Blood of Dracula's Castle 1Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault!

In the middle 1980s, way down on Level 31 Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class hosted this neglected cult show.

Balladeer’s Blog continues its celebration of the program’s THIRTIETH  anniversary year.

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday November 2nd, 1985 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

Halloween SafetySERIAL: Before showing and mocking the movie our members of the Film Vault Corps (“The few, the proud, the sarcastic”) usually showed and mocked chapters of old Republic or Columbia serials. For this episode a break was taken from Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe. Instead the 1977 Centron Educational short Halloween Safety was shown and mocked for its seasonal relevance.

Halloween Safety was eleven minutes long and is as much fun to riff on as such old shorts generally are. The killjoy Safety Czars at Centron do their best to drain as much fun from Trick or Treating as they can, although they never approach Sid Davis levels of paranoia.

The funniest part of the short is when the little girl is browbeaten by the narrator to change from her black witch costume (poor visibility for drivers) to an all-white witch’s costume, which, with the peaked hat and flowing robe makes her look like she’s auditioning for a role in The Littlest Klansman. Though the little black kid in whiteface is a close second.   

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault

FILM VAULT LORE: Randy and Richard often joked that The Texas 27 Film Vault showed just about every movie with the word “blood” in the title. That’s nowhere near true, of course, but they did show a lot of them. Previously Balladeer’s Blog has reviewed Randy and Richard’s airing of Blood Freak, Queen of Blood and Blood Beach. There are a few more to come after this one, too, including Blood Orgy of the She Devils and the infamous bit where the local tv listings refused to run the title of the movie. (Hey, it was mid-1980’s Texas and Oklahoma.)

THE MOVIE: Blood of Dracula’s Castle was directed by Bad Movie icon Al Adamson and is a fun Monster Rally turkey for the Halloween time of year. The Texas 27 Film Vault also showed a few other Al Adamson anti-classics like Dracula vs Frankenstein and Vampire Men of the Lost Planet.     Continue reading →

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ELEVEN MORE BAD MOVIE CLASSICS FOR HALLOWEEN

Return of Dr X

Return of Dr X

My month-long celebration of Halloween continues! Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog are very familiar with my Bad Movie page where I examine plenty of under the radar movies that are hilariously awful. Previously I ran a list of the top Eleven Neglected Bad Movie Classics for Halloween. That was such a hit here is a list of eleven more neglected bombs. My Bad Movie page features full-length reviews of each of the movies I’m offering a synopsis of here.

THE RETURN OF DR X (1939) – The notorious film in which the legendary Humphrey Bogart played a zombified mad scientist named Dr Xavier who was brought back from the dead by another mad scientist named Dr Flegg. Much of the fun comes from Bogie’s unmistakable disdain for finding himself in the kind of stinker that Bela Lugosi often waded through. Bogie’s Dr X kills Continue reading →

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NAKED FEAR: FIVE ODDBALL HORROR FILMS FOR HALLOWEEN

The Nude Vampire

The Nude Vampire

Balladeer’s Blog’s month-long celebration of Halloween continues with this look at five unusual movies with that certain seasonal feel.

5. THE NUDE VAMPIRE (1970) – France’s Jean Rollin is one of those love-them-or-hate-them directors. The snooty French often bashed his films for their devotion to style over all else. Don’t believe reviews which claim that his movies have no comprehensible storylines. Personally I find him more straightforward than Lynch or Jodorowsky. At any rate the central figure of this arthouse Euro-horror is indeed a beautiful female vampire in skimpy outfits and less.

Members of a Suicide Cult have taken to offering themselves up to a vampress who turns out to be science-spawned rather than supernatural. Throw in various allusions to evolution, morality and mortality for good measure. There’s plenty of eerie and macabre imagery to go with the subtext which not only addresses the previous concepts but also examines the way in which the older generation of any time period always considers the younger generation to be figurative “monsters” who will quite literally inherit the Earth.

I’m not sure if Anne Rice was influenced by Rollin’s films but Continue reading →

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ELEVEN OF THE MOST NEGLECTED BAD MOVIE CLASSICS FOR HALLOWEEN

Laughing at bad movies is one of the greatest pleasures in life. Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog are very familiar with my Bad Movie page where I focus on various film flops that I feel deserve larger audiences because of how dementedly enjoyable they are. Since it’s the Halloween Season this list will present eleven of the most neglected bad horror movie classics, many of which deserve Plan 9- sized cult followings. These are short takes. For my full-length reviews of these and other cinematic turkeys see my Bad Movie page. https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/

MORE HALLOWEEN MOVIE TREATS: MEXICAN MONSTERS https://glitternight.com/2011/10/31/a-halloween-mexi-monster-bestiary/

BLAXPLOITATION HORROR: https://glitternight.com/2011/10/26/a-very-blaxploitation-halloween/

11. THE LIFT (1983) – A killer elevator is the unique menace in this joyously absurd horror film from the Netherlands. A heroic elevator repairman tries to stop the bloody reign of terror of a sentient elevator which the movie’s ads described as “the perfect killing machine”. (?) The flick was also advertised with the tag line “For God’s sake, take the stairs” which never fails to make me laugh.

10. ATTACK OF THE BEAST CREATURES (1983) – The surviving passengers and crew of a sunken luxury liner find themselves on an uncharted island full of ponds and streams that dissolve human flesh. The island is home to the title creatures, who are Continue reading →

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THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN (1977)

The Dragon Lives Again

THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN (1977) – Category: Brucesploitation with an enjoyably absurd twist   

Even for the bizarre sub-genre of Brucesploitation films this movie is out there! The film starts with the recently – deceased Bruce Lee arriving in the afterlife, where the concubines of the King of the Dead gather around to gawk at the bulge in the pants of the late martials arts superstar. (Just in case you thought NO opening could be more tasteless than the one in The Clones Of Bruce Lee ) In a bit of alleged comic relief the bulge turns out to be caused by a weapon, not Lee’s organ. (Corpse schlong jokes! Who doesn’t love them?)

As head-shaking as that bit is at least it’s coherent, unlike virtually everything else that happens from this point on in the movie. And the time-honored tradition of Brucesploitation films having Continue reading →

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THE GOLDEN BAT (1966) JAPANESE CULT FILM

The Golden Bat: the ugliest superhero in the world.

The Golden Bat: the ugliest superhero in the world.

THE GOLDEN BAT (1966) – Ogon Batto is the name of this film in its native Japan. The movie was based on the title character, Japan’s very first comic book superhero who debuted in 1930. That 1930 date puts him years before Superman and Batman in the west!  

At any rate for the 1966 movie Japan’s perennial action star Sonny Chiba played the leader of a group of science-oriented commandos in what looked like aluminum foil suits. Chiba and his gang have fancy aircraft like England’s Thunderbirds and their debut mission finds them trying to save the Earth from collision with a rogue planet called Icarus.

Chiba’s outfit has constructed a giant laser cannon to destroy Icarus before it can reach our planet. Trouble is it needs a final component to be found only on a lost island. When Sonny Chiba’s Mighty Aluminum Foil Power Rangers explore the ancient city on that island they uncover the tomb of … the Golden Bat! Continue reading →

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2015: THE YEAR FILMMAKERS GAVE A CRAP

Guess what characteristic Bernie Sanders shares with characters from two 2015 horror films?

Guess what characteristic Bernie Sanders shares with figures from two 2015 horror films?

What is it this year with filmmakers? Permit me to give you the full poop on an odd new trend in 2015. That new trend: pantloads. First in Unfriended viewers got subjected to a character filling her pants on camera and the new release The Visit also features a character having an accidental bowel movement for the audience.

Even worse is the fact that in The Visit, M Night Shyamalan continues his love of plot twists by having the pantload literally flaunted in another character’s face. Feel free to insert your own “getting shitfaced” joke here. Continue reading →

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