U.S. PRESIDENTS FROM EISENHOWER TO OBAMA

It’s President’s Day Weekend! Three days of basketball and being reminded about how the Democratic and Republican Parties stick us with pieces of garbage like Barack Obama and George W Bush. Here are some pros and cons of the more recent presidents.  

34. DWIGHT EISENHOWER – Motto: “FOOORE!” (Remember, the traditional cry as you’re teeing off in golf? Oh, never mind!)

Nickname: Uncle Milty

Pro: Knew enough to distrust Richard Nixon long before it became the national pasttime. 

Con: Was the first president to pronounce nuclear as “nucular”.

35. JOHN F KENNEDY – Motto: “Thank God for television!”

Nickname: FDR  

Pro: The man was shrewd enough to distrust both liberals and conservatives equally. 

Con: I can’t find out what happened to this guy. Anybody hear anything? 

36. LYNDON JOHNSON – Motto: “Hey, hey, LBJ, how many lies did you tell today?”

Nickname: Lucky Lindy/  The Eagle of the USA  (interchangeable)  

Pro: His handling of domestic issues has been sadly underappreciated. 

Con: Once claimed that “Vietnam is like the Alamo” even though Vietnam was crawling with more people from Texas than the Alamo ever was. (Thank you! I’m here all week!) 

37. RICHARD NIXON – Motto: “You b******s stop that f*****g s**t about my c***-sucking administration and those m***********g b*****t lies about those c***s at the f*****g Watergate Building!”

Nickname: The Unindicted Co-Conspirator In Chief

Pro: Helped prolong comedian Rich Little’s career by a full decade at least. 

Con: Was so emotionally unstable and insecure that he might have become a crazed loner/ serial killer type if he hadn’t gone into politics. 

38. GERALD FORD – Motto: “Huh?”

Nickname: The Black Moses of Soul

Pro: Provided much- needed comic relief to the country following the Nixon scandals. 

Con: Lost to the ridiculous Jimmy Carter … JIMMY CARTER! 

39. JIMMY CARTER – Motto: “What Grant and Harding were to corruption Jimmy Carter was to incompetence.”

Nickname: The Global Village Idiot or The Once and Future National Embarrassment, take your pick. Sure, it’s kind of unwieldy but it captures Jimmy perfectly!

Pro: His every action went so hilariously wrong his term played like one long “Don’t let this happen to you” lesson for future presidents. 

Con: Never met a dictator whose butt he didn’t immediately kiss, while implying other countries could learn a lot from said dictators.

40. RONALD REAGAN – Motto: “A clueless figurehead who incessantly spouted mindless right- wing dogma.”

Nickname: The Boil On History’s Buttocks

Pro: Once starred in films with Errol Flynn. 

Con: Was the very embodiment of the “Greed is good” 1980’s. 

41. GEORGE H.W. BUSH – Motto: ” If not for Ronald Reagan I’d never have been elected!”

Nickname: Ike

Pro: Unlike his predecessor, he actually knew what decade it was.

Con: His every word and deed was more annoying than fingernails on a chalkboard.

42. BILL CLINTON – Motto: “Don’t resign like that pussy Nixon did! Make ’em DRAG you out if they can!”

Nickname: Old Trailer Park Trash

Pro: Actually displayed some fundamental administrative competence. 

Con: Used the institution of the presidency as a get-rich- quick scheme.  

43. GEORGE W. BUSH – Motto: ” Criticism of my speaking abilities is like ducks off my back … or water we’ve all passed under the bridge, or something.”

Nickname: The Sage of Walden Pond

Pro: When I think of one I’ll get back to you. 

Con: Completely squandered the general good will that many nations were willing to extend to the United States after the 9-11 attacks. 

44. BARACK OBAMA – Motto: “A clueless figurehead who incessantly spouts mindless left- wing dogma!”

Nickname: A tie between “The Condescender-In- Chief” and “The Tabula Rasa On Which The Sixties Generation Writes Their Presidential Fantasies”

Pro: He and his hopelessly embittered wife have made as many stupid remarks as George W Bush ever did and they’re all immortalized on Youtube! 

Con: Simple- mindedly insists on viewing the 21st century strictly in terms of the issues and conflicts of the 1960’s because he has no ideas of his own. 

Well, there you go! Now liberal zombies can accuse me of being a conservative and conservative zombies can accuse me of being a liberal! What a strange thing the American political scene has become thanks to uncompromising partisan zealots. Anyway, enjoy this holiday dedicated to a long line of people who abused the public trust while feathering their own nests and lecturing their constituents about living up to a moral and ethical code they themselves constantly violated.

FOR PART ONE – WASHINGTON TO CLEVELAND, ROUND ONE, CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/2012/02/19/balladeers-blogs-presidential-pros-and-cons/

FOR ALL 44 CLICK HERE:  https://glitternight.com/2013/02/14/presidential-pros-and-cons-from-balladeers-blog-washington-to-cleveland/

AND FOR MORE OF MY TAKES ON MINDLESS LIBERALS AND MINDLESS CONSERVATIVES CLICK HERE:https://glitternight.com/category/liberals-and-conservatives/

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.