Monthly Archives: September 2013

September 10, 2013 · 1:48 am

SEXY CASEY JAMES AND SOME OF THE WEIRDEST JUVENILE DELINQUENT MOVIES EVER MADE

Casey JD1Special thanks once again to Balladeer’s Blog’s Official Movie Hostess, the beautiful and dangerous Casey James! Not only is Casey the perfect woman but she also enjoys the absurdity of those over-the- top Juvenile Delinquent films of the 1950s and 1960s. This world-famous sex symbol is uniquely qualified to be the hostess for this article.

HIGH SCHOOL CAESAR (1960) – John Ashley, who was about as menacing as Ned Flanders, plays a bitter rich teenage punk who runs illegal operations at his high school like a junior version of organized crime. The title is a reference to Little Caesar, the gangster movie with Edward G Robinson. Ashley’s JD character peddles the answers to exams, rigs school elections and bilks money from his classmates. All of this is played so seriously you will die laughing. There’s also the obligatory Drag Race and OF COURSE someone dies while drag racing. My Bad Movie page has a full-length review of this one if you’re interested.

SHAKE, RATTLE AND ROCK! (1956) – In this hilarious movie Rock and Roll music is blamed for the Juvenile Delinquency epidemic of the 1950’s. Not only does one particularly irrational city ban rock music completely but it puts the local rock DJ on trial! They hold him accountable for the vandalism and other JD activities that hit the town because, by their logic, the “wild” music he played CAUSED the teenagers to commit their crimes. This is Continue reading →

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September 9, 2013 · 7:46 pm

FAQ’S ABOUT ISLAM’S HOMOPHOBIA AND MISOGYNY

A symbol of hatred and slavery.

A symbol of hatred and slavery.

Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog know I’m a non-believer in all of the world’s religions. Most religious practitioners are able to deal with that though some show varying degrees of anger. There is only ONE religion here in the 21st Century that retains the superstitious savagery of the past and that is Islam. I could literally fill this blog every single day with nothing but article after article about Muslim atrocities but the horror of it all would be overwhelming.

At any rate this is the time of year to focus on the fact that there is no god named Allah and Muhammad was a false prophet. It’s also a good time of year to focus on FAQ’s about the most homophobic and misogynistic religion in the world at this particular point in history.

Q: Are you one of those cowardly non-believers who will only criticize Christianity while giving Islam a free pass?

Balladeer's Blog

Balladeer’s Blog

A: No, I criticize all religions and regard them all as fascinating mythology that should never be taken literally. Muslims are the only ones who violently insist their religion should be above that sort of criticism.

Q: Isn’t it, like, mean ‘n’ stuff to criticize somebody’s religion?

A: No, it’s only rational to subject all of the world’s religions to criticism and satirical irreverence. Other religions, especially Christianity, have to put up with it on a daily basis and their practitioners may complain but they remain civilized and don’t kill anybody or Continue reading →

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September 8, 2013 · 2:10 pm

COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM SEPTEMBER 7TH, 2013

* EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD * 

There were so many NCAA Division Two teams upsetting Division ONE teams this past weekend I need an entire section to cover all of them:

Merrimack College helmetTHE WARRIORS CAME OUT TO PLAAA- AAAAAY – Friday night D2’s MERRIMACK COLLEGE WARRIORS got a jump on the weekend’s orgy of upsets. The Warriors traveled to Staten Island to face Division 1’s Wagner College Seahawks under the lights. Both offenses lit up the scoreboard but in the end Merrimack College emerged with a 42-41 triumph in an undeniable Instant Classic!

Delta_StDUEL ON THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER DELTA – On Saturday the DELTA STATE UNIVERSITY STATESMEN from Division Two took it on the road to battle Division One’s Mississippi Valley State University Delta Devils. MVSU may be the alma mater of the legendary Jerry Rice but the Statesmen proved to be more than a match for them, winning a gripping 24-14 gridiron epic.

CSU-PuebloHOW ‘BOUT THEM THUNDERWOLVES? – The COLORADO STATE-PUEBLO THUNDERWOLVES came into yesterday ranked number 6 in Division 2. They battled Division 1’s University of Northern Colorado Bears in a game for the ages. The Thunderwolves’ faithful will be talking about this clash for years as CSU-Pueblo toppled the Bears in their own house by a final score of 41-36.

 Florida Tech Panthers helmetABSOLUTE BEGINNERS – The FLORIDA TECH PANTHERS played their very first intercollegiate football game yesterday. Florida Tech, from Division 2, took on Division 1’s Stetson University Hatters, who were playing just their second football game since reviving their pigskin program this season. Despite the Hatters’ one-game edge in experience the Panthers came out on top in a Continue reading →

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September 7, 2013 · 4:48 pm

AMERICAN LIBERAL MYTHOLOGY: THE SIXTIES

Every war is the Vietnam War!

Every war is the Vietnam War!

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the web that offers non-partisan criticism of those two groups of shrill children called Liberals and Conservatives. This post is part of my series in which I examine the construction of political myths. At this particular point in history American Liberals are more hubristic and in need of criticism so I’ll start with their political myths first. This is the start of a new series.

As we “deconstruct” some of the concepts and figures held sacred by the hilariously pretentious asses of American Liberalism much of the fun will come from the huffy indignation they display when their own outdated value system is subjected to the same critical eye which they use to regard others.

THE 1960s – You’ve heard of the book The Greatest Generation? Well the American youth of the 1960s have earned a name as “the vainest generation” or “the most self-aggrandizing generation.”  The 60s generation has never forgiven the land of their birth for the fact that life was not as simple and pleasant as what they saw on episodes of Father Knows Best or The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. They grew up … well, American Liberals NEVER grow up, so let’s instead say they “grew older” while Continue reading →

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September 6, 2013 · 10:04 pm

COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM SEPTEMBER 5TH, 2013

* NAIA *

Concordia (NE) BulldogsCONCORDIA- NEBRASKA RULES THE WORLD – As always during college football season every week brings us at least one NAIA team upsetting upper division teams from the NCAA. Last week two teams upset Division ONE teams. Last night the CONCORDIA (NE) BULLDOGS doubled- up on NCAA Division 2’s WILLIAM JEWELL COLLEGE CARDINALS in their own house! The final score in this game was Bulldogs 30  Cardinals 15.

Belleville Lynx helmetTEAMS KICKING BUTT – The BELLEVILLE LYNX are in just their 2nd year of intercollegiate football but are already 2-0 for this season. Last night they notched a road win over the veteran CENTRAL METHODIST UNIVERSITY EAGLES in a 41-14 rout.   ###   Also last night the PIKEVILLE UNIVERSITY BEARS eviscerated the BLUEFIELD COLLEGE RAMBLIN’ RAMS by a final score of 53-16. Bluefield is in just their 2nd year of intercollegiate football as well.  

* NCAA DIVISION 2 *

Northwest_Missouri_StBEARCATS GROWLING – The 3rd ranked NORTHWEST MISSOURI STATE BEARCATS were the highest- ranked D2 team in action last night. These perennial D2 football powers welcomed the number 18 SAGINAW VALLEY STATE CARDINALS and plucked their feathers to the tune of 45-24.

North_Carolina-PembrokeTOP 25 UPSETS – Yesterday saw 2 upsets of ranked teams. The UNC-PEMBROKE BRAVES toppled the visiting 8th ranked WINSTON-SALEM STATE RAMS in a 25-21 nailbiter.   ###   And the SOUTHWESTERN OKLAHOMA BULLDOGS sent the number 25 HARDING UNIVERSITY BISON home stinging from Continue reading →

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September 5, 2013 · 9:29 pm

ISLAM: THE EPITOME OF HOMOPHOBIA, MISOGYNY AND SUPERSTITION

RELIGION KILLS

RELIGION KILLS

It’s no secret that Christianity, Judaism and other religions – laughably irrational as they are – have at least been domesticated to a certain degree. Islam however remains a blood-soaked, untamed beast of a religion and has been retarding the rest of the world’s social progress for an untold number of years now. Given Islam’s savage treatment of women it could be easily argued that this most anachronistic of faiths even continues the practice of slavery long after the rest of the world abandoned that vile institution. The desire of so many Muslims to carry their hate-filled Sharia laws with them wherever they go is especially deserving of criticism.

Islam’s habit of Continue reading →

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September 3, 2013 · 11:00 pm

BAD MOVIE: THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN (1977)

The Dragon Lives Again

The Dragon Lives Again

THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN (1977) – Category: Brucesploitation with an enjoyably absurd twist   

Even for the bizarre sub-genre of Brucesploitation films this movie is out there! The film starts with the recently – deceased Bruce Lee arriving in the afterlife, where the concubines of the King of the Dead gather around to gawk at the bulge in the pants of the late martial arts superstar. (Just in case you thought NO opening could be more tasteless than the one in The Clones Of Bruce Lee ) In a bit of alleged comic relief the bulge turns out to be caused by a weapon, not Lee’s organ. (Corpse schlong jokes! Who doesn’t love them?)

As head-shaking as that bit is at least it’s coherent, unlike virtually everything else that happens from this point on in the movie. And the time-honored tradition of Brucesploitation films having Continue reading →

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September 1, 2013 · 3:02 pm

COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM AUGUST 31ST, 2013

No matter what ESPN says, this was the SECOND weekend of college football action. It’s just that they don’t have the contract to broadcast the games in the divisions that kicked off last week.

* NAIA *

William Penn helmetCLASH OF RANKED TEAMS – The 16th ranked WILLIAM PENN UNIVERSITY STATESMEN visited the 9th ranked BETHEL (TN) WILDCATS in the highest profile game of the day. The Statesmen, a perennial power in NAIA football, dominated on both sides of the ball and turned this much-anticipated gridiron clash into a rout. The final score wound up being William Penn 34  Bethel 8.  

Rocky_Mountain_MT_OLD5ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH – The ROCKY MOUNTAIN COLLEGE BATTLIN’ BEARS improved to 2-0 yesterday. After defeating Jamestown College back in Week One the Battlin’ Bears took it on the road this weekend and clashed with the number 14 SOUTHERN OREGON UNIVERSITY RAIDERS. After an undeniable Instant Classic of a game Rocky Mountain College emerged with a 35-30 victory.

Southwestern CollegeBITTERSWEEET WELCOME – The OKLAHOMA BAPTIST UNIVERSITY BISON played their first intercollegiate football game yesterday. The SOUTHWESTERN COLLEGE MOUNDBUILDERS came to town to welcome the Bison to NAIA pigskin competition. The Bison played a very respectable game but in the end the experience of the Moundbuilders enabled them to prevail in this 26-22 game for the ages!

Cumberlands_KYBATTLE FOR THE BRASS LANTERN – The 8th ranked UNIVERSITY OF THE CUMBERLANDS PATRIOTS hosted the UNION (KY) BULLDOGS for possession of the Brass Lantern. The Patriots retained this coveted trophy by turning the Bulldogs into their figurative prison brides. It may sound odd for a Union team to lose on Labor Day weekend (rimshot) but Cumberlands crossed Union’s picket lines in a Continue reading →

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