When will people learn that – no matter what the time period – human nature will forever resist the notion that Bran is good for them? Anyway, here’s Oingo Boingo’s song Goodbye, Goodbye for this installment of Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead. And since I’ve never watched a single episode of GOT the above lame joke is also the closest I’ll come to reviewing it. (Although I did laugh at the new online meme that Chaos isn’t a ladder after all … It’s a ramp.)
Filed under opinion
Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of the many facets of Fool Killer lore. FOR PART ONE, INCLUDING THE HISTORICAL CONTEXT, CLICK HERE
PART TWENTY: I need to interrupt my look at the 1910-1917 and 1919-1922 Fool Killer items for this time around. In a surprising development Balladeer’s Blog was contacted by THE actual Fool Killer. Using Jimmy Neutron-level science I determined that this correspondent was indeed the actual supernatural figure who had been at large in America since the 1830s.
After some introductory email exchanges the Fool Killer confirmed for me that Jesse Holmes was not his real name but he often used it as his alias going back to Charles Napoleon Bonaparte Evans’ original publication of The Fool Killer Letters from roughly 1850 to around 1880.
The roaming vigilante stated that since there was absolutely nothing that I or any other mortals could do to stop him from slaying whenever and wherever he pleased he was happy to answer assorted questions for me. He did so in the following email:
Coming to you as I wander in search of fools to kill, as usual a murder of crows following in my wake to feast upon the ample corpses I leave behind me in my travels.
Eddie, or Mr Wozniak or Balladeer or however you prefer to be addressed, I noticed from your queries that you have that modern-day obsession with wanting definitive answers. I’m not able to provide them regarding my exact nature nor would I if I WAS able.
Your tracing of my origins to the Tennessee Hills of the 1830s was part of the reason I contacted you. I figured your perseverance and your perceptive comments about the Hill Portughee or Melungeons importing tales of Longstaff from Portugal showed you deserved to be my new correspondent. You’re no Charles Evans or James L Pearson but I’ve been a mighty long time without a confidant so you’ll do.
My birth around 1830 was roughly as recounted in Mountain Legends. I can correct the record on one particular item, though. My Daddy, whatever he really was, was not the Devil. Not even I could have overcome Satan himself like I did and driven him from the Tennessee Hills. He may have been “A” devil or demon or maybe something from another world. Maybe he was just a relic from Earth’s distant past or some unknown thing that walked up from the very bottom of the ocean.
Whatever he was he wasn’t human, that’s for certain, but he sure had a taste for the ladies of the mountains. Whenever any of the Hill Portughee or folks like them needed some of my Daddy’s otherworldly metalworking or medicinal cures or any other products of his arcane arts and sciences the men and the uncomely women always had better come across with some Melungeon gold to pay for it. Continue reading
Filed under Mythology, Neglected History, opinion
More tickets punched for the NJCAA World Series
NJCAA DIVISION ONE
EAST CENTRAL DISTRICT: CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The storied WALTERS STATE SENATORS faced the GORDON STATE HIGHLANDERS in this District’s title tilt. A 2-1 Highlanders edge in the 1st Inning became a 2-2 tie in the 2nd.
The Senators added additional Runs in the 4th, 5th and 6th Innings on their way to a 5-2 triumph. Walters State Pitcher Blake Petty threw for the win. * THE SENATORS ARE CHAMPIONS OF THE EAST CENTRAL DISTRICT *
WESTERN DISTRICT: CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – In this matchup the CENTRAL ARIZONA COLLEGE VAQUEROS did battle with the COLLEGE OF SOUTHERN NEVADA COYOTES. In the 1st Inning the Vaqueros shot out to a 7-0 lead.
By the 4th Inning Central Arizona College extended that to an unbelievable 16-2 advantage. The Coyotes’ attempted rally fell far short as the Vaqueros won it 16-7 for Pitcher Avery Jones. * THE VAQUEROS ARE CHAMPIONS OF THE WESTERN DISTRICT *
NJCAA DIVISION TWO
EAST DISTRICT: CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The MONROE (Rochester) COLLEGE TRIBUNES took the diamond against the ULSTER COUNTY COLLEGE SENATORS. Neither team scored in the first 3 Innings of this Pitcher’s Duel.
In the 4th Inning the Tribunes went up 1-0 then made it a 2-0 game in the 7th. Four more Runs in the top of the 9th Inning let Monroe at Rochester advance to the World Series with a 6-0 shutout. Matt Petrossi got the Win. * THE TRIBUNES ARE CHAMPIONS OF THE EAST DISTRICT * Continue reading
Filed under College Baseball
YELLOWHAIR AND THE FORTRESS OF GOLD (1984) – Reviewers need to lighten up about this movie. Especially over at IMDb. If those reviewers actually think this film deserves a low rating of 4.2 they’re being silly. I eat, sleep and breathe bad movies and I settled in to finally watch this supposed bomb fully expecting something hilariously awful. Nope. It’s no masterpiece but it’s a fairly good movie with a butt-kicking female lead.
Actually, Yellowhair and the Fortress of Gold is better than 1980s schlock like the Allan Quatermain flicks or many Chuck Norris films. The production values are above many other Eurowesterns, which is what this really is, despite its Raiders of the Lost Ark pretensions. They’re also above many, many Grade Z action movies of the decade.
In my opinion the admittedly dopey opening seems to prejudice too many reviewers, who harden into hatred before the movie properly gets underway. The success of the first Indiana Jones movie a few years earlier prompted many studios to try touting all their new action releases as being “like Raiders of the Lost Ark.”
To capture that same old-fashioned cinema/ Republic Serial feel, director Matt Cimber presents the opening moments of Yellowhair and the Fortress of Gold as a “meta” trip to a movie theater, complete with excited, squeeing children. To pile on the corn even more, there’s a melodramatic voice-over setting the scene by depicting this movie as if it’s the latest chapter of the serialized adventures of Yellowhair (Laurene Landon), our half-breed Indian heroine, and her platonic friend the Pecos Kid (Ken Roberson).
NOTE: Yes, that makes for a cringingly lame opening sequence but let’s face it, it’s only slightly more awkward than if Cimber had relied on setting the scene with an opening scroll like Star Wars and its sequels had revived years earlier and which other movies had been copying ever since. Anyway, you can tell some reviewers don’t bother watching beyond that opening sequence since their reviews bash the whole movie as if it’s like that. Actually, the voiceover disappears and the story proceeds like in any other film after that ill-advised opening dose of nostalgia. Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies, FRONTIERADO, Spaghetti Westerns
NCAA DIVISION THREE
ADRIAN, MI REGION, DAY ONE: The top seeds – the DENISON UNIVERSITY BIG RED – took on the 4th seeded LA ROCHE COLLEGE REDHAWKS and shut them out 4-0. ### And the 2nd seeded HEIDELBERG UNIVERSITY STUDENT PRINCES won a 4-3 game for the ages over the 3 seeds – the ADRIAN COLLEGE BULLDOGS.
CORTLAND, NY REGION, DAY ONE: The top seeded CORTLAND STATE RED DRAGONS did battle with the 4 seeds – the ALVERNIA UNIVERSITY GOLDEN WOLVES – and defeated them 7-3. ### And the 3 seeds – the TUFTS UNIVERSITY JUMBOS – folded, spindled and mutilated the 2nd seeded PENN STATE AT HARRISBURG LIONS by a final count of THIRTEEN to FIVE.
BALTIMORE, MD REGION, DAY ONE: The 4 seeds – the SUSQUEHANNA UNIVERSITY RIVER HAWKS – toppled the top seeded COLLEGE OF NEW JERSEY LIONS in a 5-4 Instant Classic of an Upset. ### And the 2nd seeded JOHNS HOPKINS UNIVERSITY BLUE JAYS downed the 3 seeds – the FARMINGDALE STATE RAMS – in a 6-2 affair. Continue reading
Filed under College Baseball
Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of the many facets of Fool Killer lore. FOR PART ONE, INCLUDING THE HISTORICAL CONTEXT, CLICK HERE
PART NINETEEN: James Larkin Pearson, creator of this new Fool Killer, featured a complaint that I can relate to, since I go through the same thing here at Balladeer’s Blog – “Democrats write and ask me to lambaste the Republicans and Republicans write and suggest that I cuss out the Democrats. All right, boys, I am going to comply with both requests, and then you will both be mad.”
That also captures the position of Charles Napoleon Bonaparte Evans of the Milton Chronicle when he began the Fool Killer Letters around 1850. Evans and his Fool Killer (Jesse Holmes) were Whigs who bashed both the Democrats and the Republicans. After the Civil War, Evans and his Fool Killer bashed both the Democrats of the Ku Klux Klan and the Republican Carpetbaggers.
Coincidentally, James L Pearson and his Fool Killer observed that (just like today) the upheavals wracking the world of 1919 were proceeding from the bottom UP, so the “Silk Hat Brigade” at the top of the power and money structure (think of today’s Corporate Globalists) were the people least capable of understanding the emerging changes.
The Fool Killer’s targets in this October, 1919 edition:
*** Sleazy, money-hungry Preachers were taken to the woodshed yet again this time around. The Fool Killer loved preying on them because of their hypocrisy and corruption. And remember, this was long before Sinclair Lewis’ novel Elmer Gantry presented the definitive portrait of the type of Preachers bashed by Pearson.
The Fool Killer denied that it was just fear of him which was causing the shortage of young men willing to go into preaching, a shortage bemoaned by churches in 1919. The supernatural vigilante claimed it was also caused by talented men being driven away by the overall corruption in religion at the time.
*** Equally sleazy, money-hungry “spiritualists” – nicknamed “Boogers” in the slang of the time. Arthur Conan Doyle was still alive in 1919 and, as usual, that otherwise rational man willingly served as a public cheerleader for those con artists who claimed to be able to contact one’s dead loved ones.
The Fool Killer came down hard on them and denounced Doyle as a fool, but a fool who had the Atlantic Ocean keeping him safe from our vigilante’s wrath.
*** Politicians who made a big production out of helping royal and wealthy families in Europe but snubbed the poor and the working class from that continent.
*** The biased and unreliable Associated Press, which the Fool Killer always referred to as “the Ass-ociated Press.” (He should see how pathetic they’ve become TODAY!) Continue reading
Filed under Mythology, Neglected History
USCAA
CHAMPIONSHIP GAME: The 3 seeds – the PENN STATE AT DUBOIS LIONS – the defending National Champions of USCAA baseball, played the 7th seeded BRYANT & STRATTON COLLEGE AT ALBANY BOBCATS. The Bobcats did the difficult work for the Lions, having eliminated the top seeded Newport News Apprentice School earlier in the day.
A 2-0 1st Inning lead for PSU-Dubois became a 3-2 Bryant & Stratton-Albany edge in the 2nd. The Lions went back on top 4-3 in the 3rd Inning and extended that to an 8-4 advantage in the 5th. The final Runs came in the 7th and 8th Innings, in which Dubois outscored the Bobcats 4-3 to win the game 12-7. Brandon Orsich threw for the win. * THE LIONS ARE NATIONAL CHAMPIONS OF USCAA BASEBALL *
NCAA DIVISION TWO
CENTRAL REGION: DAY ONE – The (5) UNIVERSITY OF ARKANSAS AT MONTICELLO BOLL WEEVILS utterly annihilated the (4) MINNESOTA STATE MAVERICKS to the tune of THIRTEEN to TWO! ### The (1) AUGUSTANA (SD) VIKINGS defeated the (8) OKLAHOMA BAPTIST UNIVERSITY BISON by a Polo Score of 12-10. ### Continue reading
Filed under College Baseball
Block Books from centuries ago were a form of illustrated storytelling, most often associated with religious topics. Naturally in a period of limited literacy the graven woodblock picture- stories made theological tales even more popular with the masses. In approximately 1455 – 1480 these “proto- comic books” addressed the Antichrist and the End Times.
These particular block books depicted the Antichrist being born “unnaturally” through a caesarean section with a demon serving as midwife. The block book Antichrist is a rare blonde depiction of this figure and he is shown getting an early education in black magic and in sexual depravity, just like Harry Potter. (I’m kidding! … Unless you count slash fiction) Continue reading
Filed under End of the World Myths, Superheroes
USCAA
DAY THREE, GAME ONE: The 4 seeds – the WRIGHT STATE AT THE LAKE LAKERS – took on the 10th seeded BLUEFIELD STATE BIG BLUES in an elimination game. The Lakers turned a 2-1 edge over the Big Blues in the 1st Inning into a 3-1 lead in the 2nd.
The only other Run scored by Bluefield State came in the 5th Inning, while Wright State at the Lake drove in additional runs in the 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th to win the game TWELVE to TWO! Pitcher Noah Greathouse got the win. Continue reading
Filed under College Baseball
Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of the many facets of Fool Killer lore. FOR PART ONE, INCLUDING THE HISTORICAL CONTEXT, CLICK HERE
PART EIGHTEEN: In this issue the Fool Killer stated his mission in his newest incarnation (Or “regeneration” we could say with tongue in cheek.) was “the general overturning of all established institutions of every kind.” … “The Hour of Doom has struck for many of this old world’s pet institutions.” Quite a long way from his 1830s mission of driving the Devil out of the Tennessee Hills and killing fools who tried stealing the “hidden” gold of the Melungeons!
A look at the “fools” targeted by the Fool Killer in the September, 1919 issue of James Larkin Pearson’s publication The Fool-Killer:
*** Astronomers claiming that an alignment of planets on December 17th, 1919 would cause a solar explosion visible from Earth, resulting in catastrophic storms and a devastating winter here. A nice touch of cultural kitsch is the way that, with the proposed League of Nations a topic of interest, the astronomers were calling the alignment “The League of Planets.”
*** Democrat President Woodrow Wilson and his operatives who had tried to keep the Bullitt Report out of the public record. This situation came to light when William C Bullitt, Jr was testifying to the Senate Foreign Relations Committee about his mission to the Soviet Union in February and March of 1919. Senator Henry Cabot Lodge allowed Bullitt to enter his suppressed report into the Senate record.
Pearson’s Fool Killer obviously shared his creator’s suspicion that the Wilson Administration wanted Bullitt’s findings suppressed because those findings put Lenin and the Bolshevik Government in Moscow in a better light than Wilson wanted. Continue reading
Filed under Mythology, Neglected History
