“Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead” strikes again! Balladeer’s Blog loves ANY group named in honor of H.G. Lewis’ original 2,000 Maniacs, so here’s Like The Weather.
Tag Archives: Balladeer’s Blog
TOP FIVE FLASHMAN NOVELS: NUMBER FOUR
For Balladeer’s Blog’s Number One Harry Flashman Novel click HERE For background info on George MacDonald Fraser’s infamous anti-hero Harry Paget Flashman you can also click that link.
4. FLASHMAN AND THE DRAGON (1985)
Time Period: Anglo-French Military Expedition to Peking – 1860
This volume from Flashman’s memoirs is set in China immediately after his adventures in the Second Opium War. Unfortunately those adventures are among the Flashman Papers that we’ll never get to peruse, since George MacDonald Fraser didn’t get a chance to cover them before his death in 2008.
Even if his estate allows other authors to complete the various Flashman stories that were alluded to but never completed in Fraser’s lifetime it just won’t be the same.
Note: The “dragon” of the title refers to the general Victorian Age label for China in its exotic, mysterious entirety.
Favorite Book Blurb: “Long before Jack Sparrow buckled his first swash Harry Flashman was seducing, plundering and drinking his way around the world. This time out China’s genocidal Taiping Rebellion and the March to Peking serve as backdrops to Sir Harry’s usual pursuit of pleasure and treasure.”
Synopsis: With the Second Opium War over, Harry Flashman is killing time as he awaits the ship that will take him home to England. A curvy, sultry blonde Missionary named Phoebe Carpenter uses her feminine charms to manipulate the ever-lustful Harry into running a shipload of opium to Hong Kong.
Or at least that’s what she TELLS him is being smuggled. It turns out instead to be an arms shipment for the Taipingi rebels who have split China into a blood-soaked Civil War for the past decade. Flashman doesn’t realize the true nature of the contraband he’s transporting until he’s forced to fight off a band of Macao pirates.
Thanks to some help from a sexy Chinese woman acting as a British agent our protagonist triumphs in the pirate attack. Unfortunately, when the British authorities subsequently board the vessel Harry is facing big trouble. For transporting weapons to belligerents in a war HMG has stayed out of he could be liable for years in prison. Continue reading
Filed under Neglected History, Pulp Heroes
VICE PRESIDENTS: JOKES ABOUT THESE ULTIMATE SECOND BANANAS
With President’s Day coming up soon here’s the first of many seasonal posts.
John Adams called the Vice Presidency “the most insignificant office that ever the invention of man contrived.” A very old joke went “Once there were two brothers. One ran away to sea and the other became Vice President. Neither was ever heard from again.”
In George S Kaufman’s and Morrie Ryskind’s classic stage work Of Thee I Sing one of the characters turns down an offer to be Vice President because he’s ashamed to have his mother know. He’s persuaded to accept the office when it’s pointed out that if he doesn’t tell her about it she’ll never find out.
The office has featured eminently forgettable figures as well as comic relief buffoons like Dan “The Global Village Idiot” Quayle and Joe “Koo Koo For Cocoa Puffs” Biden. In the light-hearted style of Balladeer’s Blog’s look at U.S. Presidents here’s a look at the men who got to hang around and see if the country’s Chief Executive wound up six feet under. I’m omitting VP’s who went on to actually become President, so no John Adams or Thomas Jefferson, etc.
AARON BURR
Served Under: Jefferson
Noted for: Shooting dead more Treasury Secretaries and hatching more plots to start his own country than any other Vice President. (So far, anyway.)
Best Burr Quote: “I’m still searching for the real killers of Alexander Hamilton.”
GEORGE CLINTON
Served Under: Jefferson and Madison
Noted for: P-Funk and Funkadelic Leading American Rebel forces against the British troops of his loyalist cousin Sir Henry Clinton during the Revolutionary War.
Best Clinton Quote: “Do fries go with that shake?”
ELBRIDGE GERRY
Served Under: Madison
Noted for: Pioneering the method of “Gerrymandering” political districts in a way that the modern day Democrats and Republicans have raised to a mainstay in the world of white collar crime which they inhabit.
Best Gerry Quote: “I’ll be immortalized as the man who invented Elbridge-mandering!”
DANIEL D TOMPKINS
Served Under: Monroe Continue reading
Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion
COLLEGE BASKETBALL RANKINGS AT BALLADEER’S BLOG
Per the Glitternight Index …
NJCAA (National Junior College Athletic Association) – 1. INDIAN HILLS COLLEGE WARRIORS ### 2. NORTHWESTERN FLORIDA STATE RAIDERS ### 3. VINCENNES UNIVERSITY TRAILBLAZERS ### 4. MOTLOW STATE BUCKS ### 5. FLORIDA SOUTHWESTERN STATE BUCCANEERS ###
6. ODESSA COLLEGE WRANGLERS ### 7. GILLETTE COLLEGE PRONGHORNS ### 8. HUTCHINSON COLLEGE BLUE DRAGONS ### 9. MOBERLY AREA COLLEGE GREYHOUNDS ### 10. OTERO COLLEGE RATTLERS ### Continue reading
Filed under College Basketball
EIGHT MORE COOL FOOTBALL HELMETS FROM NEGLECTED TEAMS
PUNXSATAWNEY CHUCKS
Comment: With Groundhog Day just a few days back this is a very appropriate team to start out with!
The Punxsatawney Chucks (short for Woodchucks) not only have appealing helmets but they deserve the world’s thanks for not taking the easy way out and calling themselves the Punxsatawney Phils.
HOLY CROSS CRUSADERS
Comment: It’s no secret that “Crusaders” is one of the coolest names for sports teams.
And if your institution is called Holy Cross then why not go with the stark simplicity of these lids? I really like the white on green color scheme of these helmets, too. Gold on green would be the only thing better.
CONESTOGA VALLEY BUCKSKINS
Comment: Okay, so we were all hoping for a Conestoga Wagon to be on the helmets of this team, but still …
The more I looked at these helmets the more they grew on me. What finally pushed me off the fence was the infinitely cool team name Buckskins. Continue reading
Filed under Cool Helmets
TOP FIVE FLASHMAN NOVELS: NUMBER THREE
For Balladeer’s Blog’s Number One Harry Flashman Novel click HERE
For background info on George MacDonald Fraser’s infamous anti-hero Harry Paget Flashman you can click the above link.
3. FLASHMAN’S LADY (1977)
Time Period: 1842-1845
The Flashman Papers jump around to various periods in Ol’ Flash Harry’s life. This particular novel covers our scurvy protagonist’s bed and battle adventures following his triumphant return from the First Afghan War all the way up to his pivotal role in a neglected Anglo-French action.
Along the way he clashes with London gangsters, battles Borneo Pirates and becomes a sex-slave/ military aide to an infamous African Queen.
Favorite Book Blurb: “Harry Flashman, that swashbuckling gremlin in the works of 19th Century history, is back in an around-the- world adventure that would turn Queen Victoria pale with shock and James Bond green with envy!”
NOTE: This novel is called Flashman’s Lady not just because of his beautiful blonde wife Elspeth’s larger than usual role but because excerpts from her diary complement Flashman’s memoirs in this tale. As all Flashman fans know, Elspeth cheats on Harry just as much as he cheats on her but his ego inevitably prompts him to half-believe the outrageous excuses she uses to cover her affairs. She outdoes herself in this story.
Synopsis: As the story begins Harry Flashman is still enjoying War Hero status and converting that fame into easier access to the bedrooms of various ladies. Presently the scoundrel finds himself pressed into playing on a Cricket team with some of his former classmates from Rugby School in Warwickshire.
Everyone tactfully avoids mentioning Flashman’s expulsion for drunken misconduct years earlier and he agrees. Always as physically strong as he is morally weak, Harry shines as his team’s Bowler (Pitcher for us Yanks) and leads them to victory.
That kicks off a successful run for Flashman playing Bowler in a series of those quasi-official, no-American-who-has-ever-lived-can-understand Cricket matches like you find in Raffles stories. Harry being Harry he also begins making side money shaving points and throwing games in league with some London gangsters. Continue reading
Filed under Neglected History, opinion, Pulp Heroes
BILLY JOEL: SAY GOODBYE TO HOLLYWOOD
Once again it’s Balladeer’s Blog’s recurring bit “Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead.” And Billy Joel isn’t dead yet, he just looks that way. (I’m kidding!)
Filed under opinion
IT’S JAMES JOYCE’S BIRTHDAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JAMES JOYCE! His works got me hooked in my teens when I really related to his character Stephen Dedalus as he rejected his religion and indulged what I call his “young and pretentious side” in A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. I wore out my copy of Joyce’s novel Ulysses and continue to mark Bloom’s Day to this very day.
Over the years Finnegans Wake replaced Ulysses as my favorite Joyce novel and I’m fonder than many people are of his play Exiles. Naturally, I’m also into his “epiphanies” in Dubliners and, poetry geek that I am, even Pomes Penyeach and Chamber Music. So, if you live in Ireland, say hello to Anna Livia Plurabelle for me today! Continue reading
Filed under Neglected History
WOMEN’S COLLEGE SWIMMING & DIVING RANKINGS FROM BALLADEER’S BLOG
Per the Glitternight Index here’s the latest:
NAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) – 1. SAVANNAH COLLEGE OF ART AND DESIGN BEES ### 2. LINDENWOOD UNIVERSITY AT BELLEVILLE LYNX ### 3. COLLEGE OF IDAHO COYOTES ### 4. BRENAU UNIVERSITY GOLDEN TIGERS ### 5. LOYOLA UNIVERSITY (LA) WOLFPACK ### Continue reading
Filed under college sports
TOP FIVE HARRY FLASHMAN NOVELS: NUMBER TWO
For Balladeer’s Blog’s Number One Harry Flashman Novel click HERE For background info on George MacDonald Fraser’s infamous anti-hero Harry Paget Flashman you can also click that link.
2. FLASHMAN IN THE GREAT GAME (1975)
Time Period: The Great Mutiny (1857-1858)
This Flashman novel comes in a very close second to my top selection, which I examined last time around. Ultimately the way that a portion of Flashman in the Great Game gets a wee bit unfocused relegated it to the Number 2 spot.
Synopsis: As the title indicates, this time around Harry Flashman, the most self-serving and roguish Cavalry Officer in Queen Victoria’s army, gets caught up in what diplomats of the 1800s called “The Great Game.” Said game involved the figurative chess match played by Great Britain, Russia and other powers as they all angled to extend or maintain their power and influence in Central Asia, especially India.
Lord Palmerston of Her Majesty’s Government is wary of a potential uprising among the Indian troops employed by the British East India Company and of Russian interference in the form of Flashman’s old foe, (the real life) Count Ignatieff.
Once again the fate of nations rests on the thoroughly unreliable shoulders of Harry Paget Flashman. (See pic of Alan Bates at left)
In India our swashbuckling protagonist struggles to stay alive amid assassination attempts by Russian agents while vying with Count Ignatieff for political influence in the court of (the real life) Lakshmibai, the Rani of Jhansi. (See pic of Laila Rouass to the right)
Lakshmibai’s overwhelming beauty, feisty spirit, skill at horsemanship and magnificent fencing abilities make her one of the few women to actually tug at Flashman’s heart and not just his man-parts.
In real life many prudish British politicians of the time called her “The Jezebel of Jhansi” over her sexual openness but such a derogatory nickname would only enhance her standing in the eyes of the lustful Colonel Flashman. Continue reading
Filed under Neglected History, opinion, Pulp Heroes
