Special thanks to Balladeer’s Blog’s Official Movie Hostess, the achingly beautiful Casey James! In addition to being a world-famous supermodel Casey has great taste in blogs and has agreed to help yours truly spread the word about various movies from the cinematic netherworld.
FOR EVEN MORE CASEY JAMES CLICK HERE: Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts, Sex Symbols
Despite the movie poster’s warning this flick won’t even untie your shoelaces.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! LOVE, GEORGE (1973) – Category: Bad movie elevated by kitsch value in the casting.
Directed by THE Darren McGavin and featuring his wife Kathie Browne in a small role, this hilariously bizarre film is also known as Run, Stranger, Run. “Run, Potential Viewer, Run” would be a more appropriate title. Happy Mother’s Day Love, George (henceforth HMDLG) is often described as a psycho-sexual thriller but actually it is nothing more than a melodramatic soap opera with a few murders and VERY few scenes of blood and gore. Those blood and gore scenes are so over-the-top they are completely at odds with the Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
The United Fund
THE MEANEST MAN IN THE WORLD (1954) – This heavy-handed United Fund short was probably effective in its day. Back then people may have felt they were being too callous by openly laughing at the antics in this public service message.
Our central character, “Jim”, comes home late at night after a marathon work day. He startles his wife, who, in typical 50’s fashion sleeps in a separate bed. In fact he startles her SO much you get the impression she had a man on the side who may have left her bed a little too close to Jim’s homecoming for comfort.
Jim’s got even bigger problems, though. Money is tight, so tight that Jim tells his still-paniced wife that this year they won’t be able to afford their usual contribution to the United Fund. Our hero then falls asleep, while the disgusted narrator of this ham-fisted production sneers at his alleged callousness.
Now the real fun begins. This joyously tasteless production tries to equate being unable to afford a United Fund contribution to monumental acts of deliberate cruelty. Jim’s dream counterpart stalks up to a hospital and viciously KICKS THE CRUTCHES out from under a poor crippled boy, then STANDS THERE LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY while looking down at Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
IT’S WONDERFUL BEING A GIRL (1966) – This 22 minute educational film about menstruation features one of my all-time favorite lines from female hygiene shorts. That line is “You CAN have fun while you’re menstruating!” To me that remark is even more fun than the line from Molly Grows Up which goes “Menstruating girls should avoid square dancing.” (That’s good advice for anybody, really, even if they’re not menstruating.)
Mom is about to introduce her 12 year old daughter Libby to the facts about Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
Ghoulies
Before MST3K there was THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT! Before Joel and Mike lovers of bad movies had Randy and Richard! Before Devil Dogs, Observers and Deep 13 there came Cellumites, giant rats and Level 31. I make a point of opening my T27FV posts now with this reminder because I had been getting some emails from people claiming Randy and Richard imitated MST3K which is impossible since their show came first!
My research and my correspondence with Randy Clower, co-creator and co-star of T27FV have been helping me fill in some info on this neglected cult show which ran from February 1985 to August 1987. With all the renewed interest in Movie Host shows of the 1980’s and earlier Balladeer’s Blog likes to spread some love to this program.
Last time I reviewed the very first film ever shown on The Texas 27 Film Vault so this time I’ll examine the final movie presented and mocked by the machine-gun toting Randy and Richard and their colleagues in the Film Vault Corps – “the few, the proud, the sarcastic”.
GHOULIES (1984) Some sources list 1985 as the year for this flick but I’m going by the copyright date at the end of the film, which says 1984.
FILM VAULT LORE – A T27FV fan calling herself Georgia remarked at Egor’s site: “I still lived (in Dallas) when they did their last show. They knew they were going off the air because they talked about it and seemed pretty sad about it. I was sad, too. It was the best thing on tv.” The original broadcast date for this final episode was Saturday August 29th, 1987 at 8PM.
The show was still hot in the ratings but Randy, Richard, Ken “Tex” Miller and Joe “The Hypnotic Eye” Riley got hot job offers they couldn’t turn down. Combine that with the collapse of the Film Vault Guys’ most recent attempt to get a syndication deal (what might have been) and the gang disbanded after 2 and 1/2 years of bad movie fun. Plus one of them was dating Yoko Ono and that NEVER helps!
The Movie – This was a product from Charles Band, so lovers of bad 1980’s horror films know what they’re in for. Jack Nance from Eraserhead and Mariska Hargitay from Law and Order: SVU can both point to this flick as their most embarrassing moment on Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts
Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 as they host their 1985-1987 show The Texas 27 Film Vault.
Before MST3K there was THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT! Before Joel and Mike lovers of bad movies had Randy and Richard! Before Devil Dogs, Observers and Deep 13 there came Cellumites, giant rats and Level 31! Thanks to my endless research through VERY old newspapers here’s another milestone! Balladeer’s Blog’s latest examination of the sadly neglected cult classic The Texas 27 Film Vault takes a look at the very first bad movie offered up and mocked by Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, on the night of February 9th, 1985! Yes, 1985.
Title: TRUNK TO CAIRO (1966)
If the only bad movie show you know is MST3K think of Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts
Kim Jong Un has North Korea in the news again for all the wrong reasons. He’s continuing his insane and despotic family’s policies like starving his own people, constantly threatening nuclear activity against other nations, having his secret police abduct countless people in the middle of the night and running a barbaric prison system.
So here’s a helping of my review of the lone venture into the area of filmmaking that Kim Jong Un’s equally crazed father Kim Jong Il engaged in. Of course I’m talking about Pulgasari, the only kaiju movie produced by a man who combined the insanity of Idi Amin with the paranoia of Josef Stalin and the cinematic mastery of Ed Wood.
PULGASARI (1985) – Category: Bad enough and with a classically weird premise but not fun-bad enough for my highest rating North Korea’s thoroughly deranged dictator Kim Jong Il was responsible for this film and even gives himself a producer’s credit. It’s the least he could do for himself after having his underlings literally KIDNAP SOME FILMMAKERS from South Korea and forcing them to take part in this bizarre film venture. If you doubt me just use a search engine to find out about the making of this movie. He even made those unfortunate people rot in one of his prisons for four years before he finally got around to setting them to the task he had kidnapped them for in the first place.
It was all part of Krazy Kim’s desire to initiate North Korea’s entry into the 
kaiju monster film market. (Their previous attempt decades earlier resulted in the equally laughable film Yongary, Monster From The Deep ) The story of the kidnapping and the filmmakers’ subsequent escape would have made a much better movie than this monster flick.
Pulgasari (No, Dennis Rodman, not Pao Gasol, Pulgasari. NBA fans will get it) is the title monster in Kim Jong Il’s attempt to imitate Godzilla and Gamera and other Japanese monsters. Since the story is Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
No, not The Werewolf Of Washington, which is a whole other movie, but The Werewolf of Woodstock, site of the famous multi-day music festival in 1969 New York. Enjoy this atrocious attempt at a rock’n’roll horror film. And for more bad movie reviews click here: https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/
THE WEREWOLF OF WOODSTOCK (1972) – Category: Bad enough and with a classically weird premise but not fun-bad enough for my highest rating
This made for tv movie presents the weirdest variation on the werewolf legend this side of Curse of the Queerwolf. The story begins the night after the conclusion of 1969′s Woodstock music festival when a Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
MARDI GRAS MASSACRE (1978) – Category: A neglected Bad Movie classic, but its hard-core gore will prevent it from ever having a Plan 9-sized cult following
It takes a twisted sort of genius to make multiple disembowelment murders look boring, but that’s exactly what Jack Weis accomplishes in Mardi Gras Massacre! Today may be Fat Tuesday, but let’s rechristen it “Splat Tuesday” in honor of this late 70’s splatterfest.
The actual “massacre” part of this movie is an incredible disappointment. An insane, hate-filled man with a knife – no, not Jim Bowie (rimshot) – is roaming around New Orleans during Mardi Gras targeting prostitutes as sacrificial offerings to the Aztec deities he worships. That sounds promising for a horror film but the disembowelment ritual is reenacted word for word and movement for movement for EACH VICTIM! There is no variation and also no suspense because after the first killing we know exactly how all the subsequent sacrifices will play out. The only chills come from listening to the awful disco music that plays during the Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
CORPSE EATERS (1974) – No, not The Brain Eaters and not The Worm Eaters, both of which are real movies, but Corpse Eaters without any “the” in front. This 57 minute wonder actually manages to overstay its welcome, believe it or not, which is just as well because the similar low-budget film Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things did everything better than this film does.
The people behind Corpse Eaters know JUST what horror fans want to see … water-skiing and plenty of it! This baby takes the concept of padding to the next level with interminable footage of two couples having a great time boating and otherwise whooping it up at lakeside. I’m not old enough to have ever sat through a suburban family’s hellishly boring home-movies but thanks to this film I can experience it as if I was alive back then! Sweeeeet!
The aforementioned lakeside footage comes after the audience is treated to several loooong minutes of a mortician and his assistant talking about what a creepy job they have. Then it’s on to our “stars” if that isn’t too strong a word for them. The frolicing couples note that it’s Friday the 13th and decide to spend the night in a graveyard just for the heck of it. While they’re doing so rain forces the quartet to Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
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