SURF NAZIS MUST DIE (1987) – The ideal companion piece to the original Point Break! Rest assured, the Surf Nazis are depicted as the scummy villains they are and that they do get their just desserts in this 83-minute bundle from So Bad It’s Good movie Heaven. Though distributed by the venerable Troma Team, Surf Nazis Must Die was actually produced by the Institute. The film was directed by Peter George and written by George with Jon Ayre.
This post-apocalypse flick is not the typically self-conscious, over-the-top Troma madness that we all love. Its more subdued but still energetically bizarre tone often provokes complaints from hardcore Troma fans who expected something like The Toxic Avenger, Class of Nuke ‘Em High or Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD.
Surf Nazis Must Die is refreshingly played mostly straight – but still howlingly bad – and the actors performers don’t spend their time practically winking at the audience over how absurd the whole thing is. That’s a nice change of pace in this age when there are way too many “look how bad and zany we are” low-budget flicks down on their knees begging for cult status.
Obviously, this Institute production is trying to fit into the post-apocalypse sub-genre of Mad Max imitators from the 1980s. SNMD earns its place with its originality. For one thing, rather than a global cataclysm, the movie is set in the aftermath of a very localized apocalypse – the California coastline has been ravaged by a series of monumental earthquakes. Continue reading
PLEASE DON’T TOUCH ME (Filmed in 1959, released in 1963) – Buy this for the Lash La Rue fan in your life, but mostly for the Ron and June Ormond fan in your life. For people outside of us lovers of Bad Movies I’ll point out that Ron and June Ormond were the famous husband and wife team of low-low-low budget filmmakers. 
Though Please Don’t Touch Me sounds like it would be a sexploitation flick, lurid assault film or Nudie Cutie, rest assured there’s nothing in this 67-minute oddity that your grandmother couldn’t handle. Well, maybe your mother, instead of grandma. 
MYRA BRECKINRIDGE (1970) – This film is based on the novel by Gore Vidal, who once called director John Waters “the pope of trash.” Well, Gore, Waters never had anything to do with Myra Breckinridge in any of its forms, so you have no room to talk. 
First up, a summary of the plot – Myron Breckinridge, played by THE Rex Reed, the famed film critic, is fascinated with Hollywood and is conflicted about his sexuality AND about societal notions of masculinity. Myron believes that the film industry has distorted and perverted masculinity into what would today be called by certain people a “toxic” stew of rabid machismo. 
Next, as Myra Breckinridge instead of Myron, the character goes to Hollywood to work at the acting school run by her uncle – former cowboy star Buck Loner … played by JOHN FREAKING HUSTON! Myra’s plan is to change the way male thespians behave and how men are portrayed in film so that she can destroy the very concept of traditional macho movie heroes forever. 
THE CLONES (1973) – This neglected sci-fi item from the 70s was directed by Lamar Card & Paul Hunt, based on Hunt’s story. The Clones falls into that category of films that I always refer to as “X-Movies” because of the way they put one in mind of the paranoid and conspiratorial air of the best X-Files episodes. 
Gregory Sierra, best known to trivia buffs as “And Gregory Sierra” for the number of times he was credited like that in various television shows and movies, plays Nemo, a government agent tasked to keep the clone project a secret and bring in the escapee. 
AMPHIBIAN MAN (1962) – This “mad scientist creates a man capable of living underwater” movie was made in the Soviet Union but frequently appeared in dubbed English on American television decades ago. 
Many online reviewers accuse the makers of The Shape of Water of ripping off this 1962 movie that is based on a 1928 novel. Arguments can be made for that, but it’s important to remember that all sci-fi stories draw from the same general inheritance of tropes. 
ICHTYANDR SALVATOR (Vladimir Korenev) – A young Argentinean man whose scientist father prevented him from dying of a lung disease in childhood by grafting shark gills on to his body. Ichtyandr has been raised and educated in isolation and his father even designed a comical looking underwater suit for our hero to wear, complete with a shark fin. 
THE CASSANDRA CROSSING (1976) – The Andromeda Strain meets the later Supertrain in this railroad version of the Airport movies. I’m sure we all know the formula of Disaster Movies, be they about natural disasters striking cities or manmade disasters striking mass transportation like airplanes, ships and trains. 
In general, the storyline involves a genetically engineered plague covertly developed by government functionaries (think of Anthony Fauci and his ilk) despite international agreements not to conduct such research. Terrorists who want to steal the plague for their own use botch a raid on the International Health Organization (a pastiche of the World Health Organization), which results in a shootout and in two of the terrorists being exposed to the plague. 
THE TERRORNAUTS (1967) – Simon Oates of Doomwatch fame stars as yet another maverick scientist in this effort from earlier in his career. Oates is running a British version of the SETI project and is forever trying to intercept signals from space … signals that might indicate intelligent life forms. 
Wild coincidences like that are just the tip of the iceberg in terms of this ridiculous movie’s plot holes, inconsistencies and lack of logic. 
SANTO VERSUS THE RIDERS OF TERROR (1970) – Called Santo Contra Los Jinetes del Terror in its native Mexico, this is one of my all-time favorite hidden gems among the wacked-out movies about the Mexican wrestler called El Santo. 
HITLER – DEAD OR ALIVE (1942) – You’ve heard of grindhouse movies? Well, you could consider this a GRINDE-HOUSE movie, because it was directed by Nick Grinde and produced by Charles House. 
Hitler – Dead or Alive starts out with a pair of stereotypical hungry reporters who bluff their way into a face-to-face meeting with eccentric, unorthodox, Howard Hughesesque tycoon Samuel Thornton. Thornton has just donated a million dollars worth of fighter planes to the war effort, and the snooping reporters ask if there’s any connection to the million-dollar reward he offered for Hitler a few months earlier. 
TWO THOUSAND MANIACS (1964) – For people who’ve never heard of Herschell Gordon Lewis, I’ll point out that he’s known as “the Godfather of Gore.” And not even GOOD gore, but the obviously fake kind that makes you laugh. Add to that the inept acting, bland dialogue and quickie production techniques like you’d get in old black & white flicks and you’ll understand the man’s Bad Movie magic. 
