Category Archives: Bad and weird movies

KONG ISLAND (1968) BAD MOVIE REVIEW

kong islandKONG ISLAND (1968) has also been released under the titles King of Kong Island and Eva, the Savage Venus. Every one of those titles could let viewers build a strong case for false advertising. There’s no island, no king OR King Kong and though the third title listed above may hint at something lurid, the wild jungle woman of that title has very little screen time.

Under any name, this movie appeals to most of us fans of So Bad They’re Good films. We get a regulation Mad Scientist, his army of robot/ bionic apes which AREN’T really robotic or bionic, a sultry young woman raised in the jungle by the animals and plenty of action scenes.  

This Italian film was produced by Brad Harris, who also starred as the beefcake hero who shows off his bodybuilder frame in shirtless scenes. Ladies got to ogle Burt while men got to ogle Eva, who is known to the Kenyan natives as … the Sacred Monkey. (?) Years later the Hong Kong movie Goliathon would combine a jungle queen and a gorilla that really was as big as King Kong. 

The Characters:

brad harrisBURT DAWSON (Brad Harris) is the muscular soldier of fortune who hires on for any job, legal or illegal. Kong Island opens with Burt and a few accomplices on the run after robbing a payroll. They stop in the wilderness to split the loot only to be double-crossed by their colleague Turk (Paul Carter), who shoots down the other survivors of the raid.

Burt, too, catches a bullet from behind, but apparently the large sweat stain on his back stopped the bullet or something because he shows up later, with a gunshot wound on his shoulder despite being shot in the back. Go figure. Burt recovers and turns up in Nairobi, Kenya looking to hire on for any shady or dangerous job available. Continue reading

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FORGOTTEN TELEVISION: LET’S TALK AT HOME/ A PLATICAR A SU CASA

a platicar a su casaLET’S TALK AT HOME (2001-2003) – This cult program is often called “Mexico’s MST3K.” Its Spanish language title is A Platicar a su Casa, which has been translated into English as Let’s Talk at Home, Do Your Talking at Home and similar titles.

The premise of this Mexican Movie Host show borrows from Joel Hodgson’s 1988 creation Mystery Science Theater 3000, which took movie hosting to the logical next level by having the hosts make jokes about the bad film being shown even while it was playing, rather than limiting comments about the flick to before and after commercial breaks.

mexican movie hosts andres and trinoBalladeer’s Blog has written a great deal about earlier Movie Host shows, from 1950s efforts like Vampira, Mad Marvin and others on up through Moona Lisa and Ghoulardi in the 60s and 70s to 1980s programs like Elvira’s Movie Macabre, Texas 27 Film Vault, Laraine Newman’s Canned Film Festival, etc,

A Platicar a su Casa was shown on Mexico’s channel Ponchivision in the early 2000s. It’s been off the air for several years due to Ponchivision’s obscurity and budget issues, but the program has a devoted following to this very day with episodes popping up around the internet.

trino camachoandres bustamenteThe wisecracking hosts were Andres Bustamente and Trino Camacho, two legends in Mexican comedy. The jokes were what you would expect – shots at the poor quality and/or low budget of the films, their odd storylines plus some social and political commentary about life in Mexico. Continue reading

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THE RIDER OF THE SKULLS (1965) MEXICAN HORROR FILM

el charro de las calaverasTHE RIDER OF THE SKULLS aka El Charro de las Calaveras (1965) – Halloween is fast approaching, so here is another seasonal post from Balladeer’s Blog. Regular readers know how much I enjoy the campy, so-bad-they’re-good horror films from Mexico. I reviewed several of them HERE years ago.

El Charro de las Calaveras was written and directed by Alfredo Salazar, brother of Abel Salazar, the Brainiac himself from that 1961 horror movie. This was Alfredo’s first turn in the director’s chair but he had written many, many Mexican horror flicks, including the original Aztec Mummy trilogy, Wrestling Women movies, you name it.

This particular movie is a textbook example of a fun-bad film. The Rider of the Skulls (Dagoberto Rodriguez) is a masked gunslinging hero in Old Mexico, clad all in black including a big sombrero but with drawings of skulls on his back and on each shoulder. Well, at first. The shoulder skulls change to one on each breast in the second act.

Our hero has been fighting the forces of evil ever since his parents were slain by criminals years earlier.

wolfman in elEl Charro arrives in a nearly deserted town with a dilapidated cemetery in which assorted skulls lie around in piles. The masked hero encounters the first of three monsters he will fight in this flick – a ridiculous looking werewolf with a headpiece so large it makes him look like the mascot of a sports team. Continue reading

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A DAY OF JUDGMENT (1981)

Halloween Month continues! Independent filmmaker Earl Owensby churned out a long list of movies over the years, including this horror flick. For more Earl Owensby horror films click HERE

A Day of Judgment 1

Owensby’s macabre Grim Reaper/ Fool Killer style monster from A Day of Judgment.

A DAY OF JUDGMENT (1981) – This movie plays as if Owensby collaborated with Reverend Estus W Pirkle like Ron Ormond did for the religious zealot/ Cold War potboiler If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? 

You can strip away that movie’s Cold War angle, though, since A Day of Judgment is set in the 1920s American south. Well, 1920s-ISH we’ll say since the usual fun Owensby anachronisms turn up repeatedly in assorted scenes.  

Reverend Cage addresses a church that is virtually empty and bores the few faithful who remain by bitching and moaning about how poor attendance has been. He’s leaving town and is basically washing his hands of the place, warning that the increasingly sinful town will get what’s coming to it. 

A Day of Judgment 3Next we have a series of scenes featuring some of the more sinful citizens of the deep southern town. Adultery, bigotry, covetousness, greed and outright murderous passions lurk behind every corner of this Mayberry-turned-Sodom and Gomorrah. These scenes go on so long even Larry Buchanan would scream “Pick up the pace, dammit!” at the screen.

A sinister, monstrously ugly man in black arrives in town, driving a horse-drawn carriage and sporting a long scythe. This figure is the film’s Grim Reaper/ Angel of Death/ Foolkiller- type menace. Continue reading

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WAVELENGTH (1983)

WavelengthWAVELENGTH (1983) – This is an unjustly neglected science fiction film that stars Robert Carradine, Cherie Currie and Keenan Wynn in a very unconventional love triangle: both Carradine and Currie are fighting over Wynn. (I’m kidding!)

Robert Carradine plays a moody musician suffering a career lull, Cherie Currie portrays a groupie who becomes a bona fide romantic partner for him and Keenan Wynn barks and snarls in his usual “grouch with a heart of gold” manner. Cherie’s sensitive mind is open to alien brain-waves calling to her from a nearby (seemingly) abandoned government installation. Carradine and his neighbor Wynn help her try to find out what’s going on. Continue reading

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ROOSTER: SPURS OF DEATH (1977 & 1983)

rooster spurs of deathROOSTER: SPURS OF DEATH – This cosmically bad and tasteless movie was completed in 1977 but not released until 1983, presumably because there’s never been much demand for films from the ugly subgenre of cockfighting flicks. (Cocksploitation?)

Previously, Balladeer’s Blog reviewed the horrific movie Cockfighter, in which star Warren Oates portrayed a man who trains roosters for cockfights and at one point takes a vow of silence until one of his roosters wins a fight. (Hey, it’s not exactly the Dothraki custom of cutting a man’s hair if he loses a fight, but what can you do?)

Some of my remarks regarding Cockfighter can also be applied to Rooster: Spurs of Death, a Quinn Martin Production. Okay, I’m kidding about the Quinn Martin part, but anyway, R:SOD makes you understand exactly why the cruel activity of cockfighting became so despised. Continue reading

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WINNIE THE POOH: BLOOD AND HONEY

masc graveyard smallerRegular readers of Balladeer’s Blog know how fond I am of bad and weird movies. I cannot yet review Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, the horror version of A.A. Milne’s characters from the Hundred Acre Wood, because it has not been released yet. A full trailer is out now and you can view it below.

NOTE: This is, indeed, a horror film. It may be tongue in cheek, but it doesn’t shy away from violence. People who have more conventional taste in movies are warned. Please don’t watch the trailer and then vent at me because of the violence.

Winnie the Pooh recently fell into the public domain if you’re wondering how this film is possible.  Continue reading

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365 DAYS AND ITS SEQUELS: WORSE THAN BOTH TWILIGHT AND 50 SHADES OF GREY

Blanka Lipinska

Author Blanka Lipinska

365 DAYS (2020) – My fellow fans of bad movies have long been leaving comments and sending emails encouraging me to review Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey. I’m glad I delayed, because now I can review this even worse book and film series.

You may be wondering why, if I could resist reviewing the tale of a hundred-year-old vampire and a shirt-challenged werewolf fighting over a hopelessly bland teen girl, why have I decided to go ahead and review 365 Days and its sequels? And you may be wondering why, if I could resist reviewing the tale of a deranged billionaire stalker and the hopelessly bland object of his fixation, why have I decided to go ahead and review 365 Days and its sequels?

I can answer with one word … pierogie!

As my last name indicates, I am of Polish-American descent and with the scene where the abducted woman in the 365 Days franchise demands that her gangster captor provide her with “Normal food … pierogie!” I knew I had found my muse! Even though I never got the hoped-for line “Leave the gun. Take the kielbasa.”  Continue reading

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BRIDE OF WILLIAM SHATNER: EIGHT FILMS

marcy laffertyAudiences thrilled to Son of William Shatner. They were chilled by Revenge of William Shatner. And they were both charmed AND slightly turned-on by Bride of William Shatner.

All of which is Balladeer’s Blog’s roundabout way of introducing this quick look at some of the screen appearances of Marcy Lafferty-Shatner, who was married to the legend from 1973-1996.   

paper manPAPER MAN (1971) – Marcy’s appearance in this telefilm was B.S. (Before Shatner). Paper Man starred Dean Stockwell, Stefanie Powers, Tina Chen and Ross Elliott. Marcy played an unnamed secretary.

The plot involved college friends abusing early computer technology to create a non-existent “paper man” just so they could get a credit card in that name and go on a quick spending spree with no accountability.

Things get eerie when the non-existent person they created seems to be tracking them down and killing them one by one.     Continue reading

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OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN IN TOOMORROW (1970)

Olivia Newton-John has passed away. In memoriam here is my 2020 review of her 1970 film Toomorrow, which went unreleased for several years due to legal battles. 

ToomorrowTOOMORROW (1970) – What is one part Monkees episode, one part Frankie & Annette Beach Movie, one part Help!, one part Donny & Marie in Goin’ Coconuts, one part KISS Meets The Phantom of the Park and one part Beyond the Valley of the Dolls? The answer is Toomorrow, the infamous Don Kirshner/ Val Guest cult movie with a then-unknown Olivia Newton-John in a starring role.

The aim was to launch a new pre-fab pop band like the Monkees, but this time consisting of an Aussie (Newton-John of course), a Brit (Vic Cooper), an African-American (Karl Chambers) and a white American (Benny Thomas).   

Olivia sings and also dances around the guys while they play, Benny plays the guitar, Karl is the drummer and Vic plays the keyboard AND his special invention called a Tonalizer. The band is called Toomorrow because, as Karl observes, they are “Too much! Too-Morrow!”

Toomorrow 2We’re told that Vic’s Tonalizer is what gives Toomorrow its special “sound.” How special is that sound? So special that its unique vibrations can revive the stagnant culture of an alien race that’s facing decay and collapse. It seems the aliens’ own musical output has grown stale because they have long since progressed beyond the troublesome “emotions” and “heart” that Toomorrow’s members pour into their songs. 

Buy this movie for the Sandbaggers or Dalgleish fan in your life, because Roy “Neil Burnside” Marsden co-stars as Alpha, the captain of the aliens’ spaceship. His forever-terse voice is unmistakable despite the – admittedly competent – makeup and prosthetic effects for the ET’s (above right). Continue reading

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