1990: THE BRONX WARRIORS (1982) – Spaghetti-pocalypse movies were to the 1980s what Spaghetti Westerns were to the 60s and 70s. Italian-made ripoffs of post-apocalypse and/or dystopian flicks like The Road Warrior and Escape From New York were everywhere back then.
Today, Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at two such movies that starred cult icon Mark Gregory, real name Marco De Gregorio. Years ago, I covered Mark as Adam in Adam and Eve vs the Cannibals. Last week I reviewed his Thunder Warrior trilogy of Rambo imitations, this week it’s the pair of films in which Mark played a dystopian man of action called … Trash.
Talk about making your hero’s name a joke right off the bat! He SHOULD have been called something like Vandal, which has much more panache and was more befitting of a character following in the footsteps of Mad Max and Snake Plissken.
The story is set eight years in the future from its 1982 release and presented a crime-ridden New York City run by plutocratic corporations who have every politician in their pocket. So, just think of New York as it is right now.
Crime in the Bronx has become so out of control that the borough has been declared a No Man’s Land in which gangs and other criminals rule the streets and any law-abiding citizens are on their own. Most of the gangs have silly theme costumes like the gangs in The Warriors, so there’s some of that movie’s flavor in this, too. Continue reading
THE AFTERMAN (1985) – Balladeer’s Blog’s Weirdness at the End of the World category of movies returns with this bizarre little honey. The Afterman also marks the return of my sub-category “Those Darn Belgians.” Yes, just like Rabid Grannies this flick was created in Belgium. 
The story opens up in the year 2011. For twenty years our lead character, called simply the Man, has been living in a high-tech bomb shelter. The shelter was stocked with plenty of aerosol spray-food from “futuristic” 1991, when the nukes fell. Elaborate security cameras and leftover news reels have been almost the only diversions the Man has had for two decades, aside from drawing sketches. 
ROLLER BLADE (1986) – They’re the Cosmic Order of the Roller Blade and they’re female Jedi Knights on roller skates. Well, sort of. Where does one begin when reviewing this film that is so beloved by all of us fans of bad movies? Let’s start with the setting and then tackle the characters as well as Roller Blade’s legendary director Donald G Jackson (R.I.P.). 
“Skate or Die” is the ugly motto of the survivors in this kill or be killed future. That’s because the filmmakers absurdly pretend that traveling via roller skates or skateboards is the only way to move swiftly enough to have a chance of evading the dangerous gangs and mutants. 
MOTHER SPEED (Katina Garner) – The Mother Superior of the Order of the Roller Blade. She is in a wheelchair yet still wears roller skates on her feet since such skates are part of the Order’s sacred garments. Mother Speed, like all the good guys in Roller Blade, speaks in grandiose faux-Shakespearean littered with “thees” and “thous” and “yea, verilies.” ESPECIALLY “yea, verilies.” 
IDAHO TRANSFER (1973) – This film, directed by Peter Fonda and starring mostly unknowns, deals with time travel and post-apocalypse themes. It was retitled Deranged for its DVD release. I have no idea why. 
EMPIRE OF ASH (1988) – Also released as Maniac Warriors, this post-apocalypse movie is, as you would expect, another of the 1980s’ countless imitators of The Road Warrior. In Empire of Ash our year is 2050 and our main location is an American settlement called New Idaho, with Canadian forests passing for the post-holocaust world. All cities have become uninhabitable so survivalists scrape by in woodland communities. 
SIX-HUNDRED & SIXTY SIX (1972) – Directed by Tom Doades and written by Marshall Riggan, this film is a very unusual blend of science fiction, horror, post-apocalypse drama and religious message. Cult actor Joe Turkel, perhaps best known as the ghostly Lloyd the Bartender in The Shining, stars as Colonel John Ferguson. 
Obviously, a post-Omen film would not blow their story’s final reveal in the title, like we get with Six-Hundred & Sixty Six.
TAKING TIGER MOUNTAIN (1983) – The very memorable actor Bill Paxton passed away recently. I’ve been trying to decide which Paxton film appearance would fit in most with Balladeer’s Blog’s world of weirdness. 
Putting all that aside, Taking Tiger Mountain is an artsy black & white post-apocalypse movie which is more Born of Fire or A Boy and His Dog than Mad Max. In the aftermath of a nuclear war the world is in chaos with diseases running rampant, food riots breaking out regularly and the poles knocked off-kilter. 
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