Tag Archives: movie reviews

TALES FROM THE QUADEAD ZONE (1987) – BAD MOVIE

tales from the quadead zone coverTALES FROM THE QUADEAD ZONE (1987) – The second and – to date – final movie written and directed by Chester Novell Turner. The man’s films became so renowned for being legendarily bad that in 2014 a documentary about their making was released under the title Return to the Quadead Zone.

Once again, it’s time for Balladeer’s Blog’s standard warning for readers who are not into the more remote, violent and tasteless corners of the cinematic universe. Don’t go past the “Continue reading” mark. Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Halloween Season

ALIEN: NO MAN’S LAND (2024)

alien no mans landALIEN: NO MAN’S LAND (2024) is a top tier Fan Film that goes far beyond the majority of such efforts. This item runs less than 29 minutes and deals with an encounter between the Alien franchise’s xenomorphs and World War One Brits and Aussies set in No Man’s Land.

The quality is cinematic – maybe even better considering some of the rushed special effects that the film industry has cranked out lately. Sound, costuming, direction and even the acting are exemplary for a Fan Film and pretty solid even when compared to professionals.

The story: Continue reading

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SPACE MONSTER WANGMAGWI (1967) – SOUTH KOREAN MOVIE

wangmagwiSPACE MONSTER WANGMAGWI (1967) – This attempt by South Korea to compete with Japan in kaiju films came out the same year as the much more famous Yongary, Monster from the Deep. Space Monster Wangmagwi was produced by an all-South Korean team, while Yongary was made with Japanese assistance.

Obviously, neither of those South Korean movies redefined the genre, but in my opinion Space Monster Wangmagwi, despite being in black & white, is nearly as much fun as Yongary, Monster from the Deep. That former flick begins with aliens from the planet Gamma arriving near Earth in an interesting-looking spaceship. Not revolutionary, but eye-catching.

gamma aliensThe Gammans have oddly-colored faces but that’s all we can see of them in their suits of armor, which are like the Tin Man meets the Cybermen. The conversation among these aliens as they orbit our planet is the usual grim but hilariously contradictory alien gibberish in kaijus about how Earth stands no chance, or maybe we do, and their monster Wangmagwi will eat everyone on Earth and THEN the space fleet will move in. Or he’ll attack in unison with the fleet. Hey, just keep it cazh, dude! Continue reading

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ROAR (1981) – MARCH COMES IN LIKE A LION

roar 1981ROAR (1981) – This was one of the first bad/ weird movies I planned to review when I started writing Balladeer’s Blog back in 2010, but like Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky it kept falling by the wayside. This film is no longer as unknown as it was in 2010 and has even been the subject of a documentary about its making, called The Most Dangerous Movie Ever Made.

Even making jokes about this flick feels played out for everyone except people who haven’t seen or heard of it yet. Let me give it a try, though. “Roar: It’s not just the title – it’s the script!” or “You’ll believe people are stupid enough to make a drama using dozens of UNTRAINED jungle animals.”

roar posterYes, untrained. The original movie advertisements for Roar boasted that “No animals were harmed in the making of this film. 70 cast and crew members were.” The end result is not something any human or animal should have been put at risk over, believe me.

Roar is such a bizarre product. Part “animals strike back” film, part Mondo Cane flirtation, part Golden Turkey, part vanity project, part home movie, part masochistic family production, part stunt-casting orgy, I could go on and on.

roar bloodFirst up, the general story: A naturalist lives in Africa in a large, sprawling home with dozens of lions, tigers, leopards, panthers, jaguars, etc. His marriage is in trouble (of course) and he’s in danger of losing his grant money.

His estranged wife plus his two sons and a daughter come to visit but a mix-up causes them to arrive at the naturalist’s home while he is trying to pick them up at the airport. This strands the family with a houseful of wild and very dangerous jungle cats. Continue reading

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MY TOP 10 HORROR FILMS OF THE PAST FIFTY YEARS

masc graveyard smallerBalladeer’s Blog takes a look at my top horror movies of the past fifty years. It is NOT a list of my all-time favorite horror films, just the ones that fall within the round number of fifty years.

If the selected movie spawned a franchise I rank the franchise’s top five flicks by titles only. As always, these are just my opinion. We all have our favorites and none of us are right or wrong.

MY LIST:  Continue reading

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JUNGLE JIM (1948)

jungle jim 1948JUNGLE JIM (1948) – Decades before Raiders of the Lost Ark, “Jungle Jim” Bradley, mercenary jungle guide and adventurer, was fighting Nazis, Communist Spies and other menaces while finding lost cities & ancient artifacts, all while romancing lovely ladies. Throw in the occasional dinosaur, giant spider or huge, man-eating eel and enjoy!

A modern Jungle Jim franchise could combine the best elements of Indiana Jones, Crocodile Dundee and Allan Quatermain. The Rock is too old now, but years ago his love of filming in jungles would have made him ideal for the role.

weissmJungle Jim, a former comic strip character, was featured in a 1937 serial, a series of movies in the 1940s and 1950s, plus a television series in that latter decade. Former Tarzan Johnny Weissmuller played Jungle Jim in everything but the 1937 serial.

At any rate, 1948’s Jungle Jim was Weissmuller’s first appearance as the character. Fifteen more movies and 26 television episodes would follow in all their fun, outdated, absurd and So Bad They’re Good glory.

THE STORY:  Continue reading

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TRUMBO (2015) DEMOCRAT HYPOCRISY IS HILARIOUS

The political intolerance of the shallow, uninformed and emotionally unstable fools who call themselves Democrats knows no bounds. They unabashedly call for the personal and professional destruction of everyone who votes differently than they do while ignoring the fact that they are practicing their own – far more fanatical – form of McCarthyism. And they’ve destroyed far more lives. 

This movie is further proof that American Liberals are the biggest hypocrites in history.

This movie is further proof that American Democrats are the biggest hypocrites in history.

TRUMBO (2015) – How about “Are you now or have you ever been a racist or imperialist or transphobic or privileged?” Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog know how sick I am of the increasingly meaningless “Liberals vs Conservatives” paradigm. It’s just that right now American leftists are far more pompous and hubristic and in need of being cut down to size.

Case in point: the movie Trumbo. Only American Democrats could be so lacking in self-awareness that they would – in the age of non-stop harassment of Trump supporters, Wokeness Police and SJW persecutors – trot out (for the millionth time) the story of Dalton Trumbo and some of the other figures who were black-listed during the Communist Witch Hunt of decades ago.

For the past few decades Democrat Archie Bunkers have been the ones black-listing and inflicting draconian punishments on people who dare to hold different political opinions than they do.

We are still suffering under the “White Supremacist” and “Privilege” Witch Hunts that American Democrats continue to pursue with the same sickeningly judgmental attitude and spurious statistics that Joe McCarthy was accused of. How many careers (and therefore lives) have we all seen ruined by the cold, merciless asses of the political left? Often over simple remarks or organizations the victims belonged to or political contributions they made YEARS earlier. Plus Democrats accuse people of being racists as a scare tactic the way accusations of being a Communist were used back then. Continue reading

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

CHUCK NORRIS IN A FORCE OF ONE (1979)

a force of oneA FORCE OF ONE (1979) – Fresh off the success of Good Guys Wear Black, Chuck Norris starred in this action film directed by Paul Aaron in only his second directing effort. The prolific Ernest Tidyman wrote the screenplay.

The Story: In a fictional mid-sized California city, a drug operation is thriving, helped along by bad cops who funnel confiscated drugs right back to the head of the narcotics pushers after pretending to have destroyed the seized goodies per department policy. The drug ring uses a sporting goods store as their front and use an aspiring karate champ as their chief enforcer.

             That enforcer is a deadly human weapon and when cops keep turning up dead at his hands the department hires a local karate dojo master to teach the police better techniques of self-defense. That dojo master falls in love with a lady cop and winds up helping the police to battle the drug ring.   

The Characters:

CHUCK NORRIS is in the role of Matt Logan, a former special forces man from the United States Army. He’s the defending Middleweight Karate Champion and also runs a karate dojo on the side. One of his students is his black adopted son Charlie (Eric Laneuville), whose late mother he had platonically befriended when … oh, don’t worry about it. They might as well have saved time by just having him be one of Matt’s students, PERIOD, since his only purpose is to get killed by the drug dealers, thus giving Logan a personal stake in the crusade to bring them down. Continue reading

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DICK TURPIN (1925) – SILENT MOVIE

dick turpinDICK TURPIN (1925) – Western star Tom Mix took a break from his Wild West movies by starring in this highly romanticized film about the real-life English thief and highway robber Dick Turpin. John G. Blystone directed the movie for Fox Film Corporation. Tom swapped his six-guns and rifles for a sword and pistols in this flick.

The story in this 70-minute movie starts out in the mid-1730s. In this version of events Dick Turpin is already well-known for committing masked highway robbery against the carriage trade of well-to-do passengers. Among his men is burly Tom King, played by Alan Hale after his 1922 turn as Little John to Douglas Fairbanks’ Robin Hood.

tom as dickThe main villain of the film is Lord Churlton (Philo McCullough), who not only resents having been robbed by Turpin, but abuses his power and influence by menacingly trying to force Lady Alice Brookfield (Kathleen Myers) to marry him. 

Out and about without his mask on one day, Dick spots a rival gang of highway robbers attacking the carriage of said Alice. Smitten with our heroine’s beauty, Turpin comes to the rescue, single-handedly driving off the bandits and flirting with the young lady. Continue reading

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THE ELUSIVE AVENGERS (Neulovimye Mstiteli) 1967

elusive avengersTHE ELUSIVE AVENGERS (1967) – This movie is often classified as part of the subgenre called “Easterns/ Osterns” – counterparts of Westerns. As an example of global cinema, The Elusive Avengers is worth a watch maybe once in a lifetime, but the cringe factor is heavy as it romanticizes four young guerilla fighters during the Russian Civil War.

The film is based on the 1921 novel Little Red Devils aka Red Devils aka The Hunt for Blue Fox. A 1923 silent movie version was made long before this definitive 1967 adaptation for the big screen. It goes without saying that the story was used as propaganda by Communist tyrants (and just like I never hesitate to say “Nazi tyrants” or “Nazi filth” I’m never going to hesitate to say “Communist tyrants” or “Communist filth”).

elusive posterJudged purely on its production values and competent direction, The Elusive Avengers fascinates as much as it repels. In a world where a piece of garbage like deranged war criminal Vlad Putin runs Russia it can make a film like this a challenge to sit through without the real world intruding on one’s thoughts, but again, for anyone interested in world cinema history the movie is a revelation.  Continue reading

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