Tag Archives: movie reviews

DOLLY PARTON R.I.P. – STRAIGHT TALK (1992)

Unfortunately, Dolly Parton, singer and movie starlet, has passed away. Here’s my review of her film with James Woods. 

STRAIGHT TALK (1992)

Dolly’s Role: Shirlee Kenyon

James’s Role: Jack Russell 

Comment: James Woods as the leading man in a romantic comedy? With Dolly Parton as his love interest? Believe it or not this Lady of Many Talents and the Man of a Thousand Personae even pull off THIS!  Continue reading →

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BURT LANCASTER’S SWASHBUCKLER MOVIES

Hollywood legend Burt Lancaster starred in several big-name films. Early in his career he played the hero in a few swashbuckler movies.

THE FLAME AND THE ARROW (1950) – In 1100s Lombardy, evil Count Ulrich (Frank Allenby) rules on behalf of Emperor Frederick the First. Ulrich abuses his power and even takes the unfaithful wife of Dardo Bartoli (Burt Lancaster) into his own court as one of his mistresses. This drives archer and swordsman Dardo into opposition against him.   

One day Dardo shows off by shooting Count Ulrich’s prized hunting hawk out of the sky with an arrow. The Count has his men try capturing our hero, but his son Rudi helps him escape only to wind up a prisoner in Ulrich’s household where he is reunited with his mother.

Dardo now goes all out against the Count, leading rebels both high born and low in Robin Hood style banditry against Ulrich from an old Roman fortress in the hills. At one point Dardo and his allies abduct Count Ulrich’s niece Anne (Virginia Mayo) in hopes of exchanging her for Rudi. The Count instead captures Dardo’s father and several other villagers, threatening to kill them all unless the rebel and outlaw surrenders. Continue reading →

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SWASHBUCKLER MOVIES OF CORNEL WILDE

Cornel Wilde was born in 1912 and during his lengthy career he appeared in several swashbuckler films.

TREASURE OF THE GOLDEN CONDOR (1953) – Cornel Wilde stars as the swordsman Jean-Paul, a Frenchman whose evil uncle the Marquis de St. Malo (George Macready) robs of his royal title and his inherited lands. He flees France and sails for Guatemala.

Once there he falls in with fellow adventurers MacDougal (Finlay Currie) and his daughter Clara (Constance Smith), who are on a quest to find the lost Mayan Treasure of the Golden Condor somewhere in the jungle. After surviving jungle beasts, hostile Guatemalans and rival treasure hunters, our heroes obtain the fabulous treasure.

Using this fortune to finance his revenge quest, Jean-Paul returns to France with Clara . Once there, he engages in much derring-do and legal warfare masterminded by lawyer Raoul Dondel (Leo G. Caroll) to defeat his evil uncle and regain his title and estates. Nice blend of traditional swashbuckling with a quasi-Indiana Jones quest and a little Count of Monte Cristo at the end.

The guest cast included Anne Bancroft, Fay Wray and a young Robert Blake as a stable boy. 93 minutes. Continue reading →

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FRONTIERADO’S TOP THREE FILMS

Here at Frontierado Headquarters we’re doing a mini-marathon of the holiday’s Top Three films for today. Below are my reviews of those three which are perfect for Frontierado (August 7th this year.):

NUMBER ONE

Top Frontierado Movie

Top Frontierado Movie

SILVERADO (1985) – I’ve never made any secret about how Silverado is, to me, THE official movie of the Frontierado holiday. The film has all the high spirits and family appeal of Star Wars plus the well-choreographed action scenes of Raiders of the Lost Ark. On top of that Silverado features all the  highly stylized gunplay of the best Spaghetti Westerns but NOT the mud, blood, sweat and brutality of that genre.

This movie is pure escapism and features the kind of preternaturally accurate gunslingers that I jokingly  describe as “Jedi Knights in the Olllld West”. These guys (as well as most of the villains) can literally shoot the needles off a cactus, simultaneously draw and shoot with pin-point accuracy and can just “sense” when some low-down hombre might be pulling a gun on them, even with their backs turned and from half a room away.   Continue reading →

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MY TOP FOUR WESTERNS BASED ON REAL-LIFE FIGURES

butch cassidy and the sundance kid 2We all know that in real life the celebrated “heroes” of the old west were a pack of corrupt and/or outrightly criminal thugs who would have had a pretty odd worldview. And let’s face it, by our standards their personal hygiene habits would have been pretty disgusting.

But since the Frontierado holiday is all about celebrating the myth of the West and not the grinding reality of it here’s my list of the Top Four Westerns Based on Real-Life Figures. Coming up with lists like this is one of the perks of being the international commissioner of Frontierado (along with the seven-figure income and a staff of three hundred people).

butch cassidy and the sundance kid1. BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (1969) – Redford and Newman set the standard for the “buddy western” with this magnificent movie. Newman once described this flick by saying “It’s a Continue reading →

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HARD CUT: RECOMMENDED MOVIE REVIEW CHANNEL ON YOUTUBE

Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at another YouTube movie review channel. This one is called Hard Cut Reviews. I haven’t been this enthusiastic about a YT channel since Red Letter Media when I covered them way back in the early years of 2010 and 2011.

Hard Cut‘s hosts Bobby and Matt post videos in which they do in-depth discussions of new releases, old classics and high-budget bombs from recent decades. Matt and Bobby themselves describe their content as “Based movie reviews” so picture a blend of Red Letter Media film review shows crossed with Critical Drinker but with much fresher takes that are like a happy medium between the two approaches. Continue reading →

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BLINDMAN (1971) – HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RINGO STARR

BLINDMAN (1971) – Richard Starkey aka Ringo Starr turns 86 years old today. In his younger years he was affiliated with some musical group, but REAL Ringo fans know him as a Master Thespian who appeared in plenty of memorable movies.

We loved him as Ognir Rrats in his Prince and the Pauper adaptation titled Ringo, as one of Mae West’s ex-husbands in Sextette, as the adopted son of Peter Sellers in The Magic Christian and so on and so forth. For today I’m taking a look at his villainous turn in the Spaghetti Western Blindman. 

Okay, let’s get serious now.

This intentionally bizarre film stars and was co-written by Tony Anthony, known for many Spaghetti Westerns including the Stranger series. Years before Tony’s 1975 flick Get Mean, his Italo-Western that threw in Vikings, Moors, Gondoliers and other anachronisms, came this oddity. Continue reading →

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JOHN PAUL JONES (1959) MOVIE REVIEW

With the 4th of July fast approaching, here’s another item for America’s 250th birthday – a biopic of our nation’s early naval hero.

JOHN PAUL JONES (1959) – Robert Stack stars as the title character, Charles Coburn plays Benjamin Franklin, Bette Davis is Empress Catherine the Great of Russia, Macdonald Carey is Patrick Henry and Thomas Gomez portrays Commodore Esek Hopkins. On a scale of 1 to 10 I would rate John Paul Jones a 6. I wish it could be higher.

This movie looks good enough, but Stack’s performance is a bit too dry and the story rambles on for too long after the logical end point when the Revolutionary War is over. Some brief closing text could have covered John Paul Jones’s career in the Russian Navy from 1787 onward. Just a quick note acknowledging the damage he wrought to the Turkish Navy on Russia’s behalf and bring on the closing credits. 

The film also subjects us to far too much of Jones’s younger years as a sailor and Robert Stack’s Forever 31 face at the time is comically distracting. (I Was a Teenage Thirtysomething) I wish more biopics used the terrific approach of Patton (1970) – focus on the most eventful years of the main character’s life with dialogue filling viewers in on their early life.  Continue reading →

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DISCLOSURE DAY (2026) – A CHILD’S INTRODUCTION TO UFO AND ALIEN CONSPIRACIES

DISCLOSURE DAY (2026) – Did Steven Spielberg forget what he accomplished with the ending of Close Encounters of the Third Kind? How does he think that an elderly alien getting brought out in a wheelchair even compares, let alone equals, the wonder of his earlier film? Maybe if Disclosure Day ended with Richard Dreyfus’s character having returned to Earth and standing there beside the alien, he might have had something noteworthy.   

Did Steven Spielberg forget that long before he condescendingly acted like his aliens/ Jesus angle would shock people that Ridley Scott already pursued such concepts in Prometheus? Or that even by then it had already become a trope after movies like Aliens from Spaceship Earth, God Told Me To and others.

Long time Balladeer’s Blog readers may recall that I’ve already reviewed science fiction stories from the 1800s that dealt with the Jesus/ aliens concept. Why did Spielberg think he was serving up anything that would – as he boasted – make Christians question their faith? 

Television shows from The Invaders and U.F.O. to The X-Files and dozens since have worn out all of the material that Spielberg deluded himself into thinking he was pioneering in this movie. His own 2002 television miniseries Taken reworked all those cliches long before this year’s Disclosure Day.  Continue reading →

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SWASHBUCKLER MOVIES OF DALE ROBERTSON

Though mostly associated with westerns, Dale Robertson managed to squeeze in a couple of swashbuckler films during his Hollywood career.

SON OF SINBAD (1955) – Dale Robertson stars as Sinbad II, son of the original hero of the seven seas.  Vincent Price plays his sidekick, the poet Omar Khayyam, so if anachronisms bother you, stay far away from this movie, because there are plenty more on the way. But Price steals the flick!

When Sinbad is in Baghdad between his adventures he sneaks into the Khalif’s palace to seduce a few harem girls or dancers. This time though, he makes the mistake of exercising his charms on one of the Khalif’s wives, Nerrissa (Lili St. Cyr). Sinbad and his wing-man Omar wind up imprisoned by the angry Khalif (Leon Askin) to await execution.

Also in the ruler of Baghdad’s clutches are the Greek Simon Aristides and his daughter Kristina (Mari Blanchard). Simon knows the secret of Greek Fire (which we in the modern world have still not been able to duplicate), and when Tamerlane and his Mongol armies draw near intent on conquering Baghdad, Simon demonstrates Greek Fire to the Khalif, who wants to use it to drive off the Mongols.

Traitors kill Simon and make off with Kristina, who alone holds the secrets of Greek Fire now. The Khalif agrees to set Sinbad and Omar loose to find and return with Kristina. Assorted action scenes follow, and ultimately the Son of Sinbad joins forces with the Daughters of the Forty Thieves – beautiful women warriors who rob caravans and the like.

After much action, Sinbad, Omar and the Forty Daughters return to Baghdad with Kristina and use Greek Fire to help themselves defeat the invading Mongols. Sinbad marries Ameer (Sally Forrest), Omar marries Kristina and our title character is made the new chief of the Khalif’s Royal Guards, consisting of the Forty Fabulous Femmes. Watch for Kim Novak as one of the Forty! 91 minutes. Continue reading →

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