Tag Archives: movie reviews

ROBERT CARRADINE: R.I.P. – WAVELENGTH (1983)

With the passing of Robert Carradine, Balladeer’s Blog takes its usual approach of looking at one of his more obscure films, in this case one in which he costarred with THE Cherie Currie and Keenan Wynn. 

WavelengthWAVELENGTH (1983) – This is an unjustly neglected science fiction film that stars Robert Carradine, Cherie Currie and Keenan Wynn in a very unconventional love triangle: both Carradine and Currie are fighting over Wynn. (I’m kidding!)

Robert Carradine plays a moody musician suffering a career lull, Cherie Currie portrays a groupie who becomes a bona fide romantic partner for him and Keenan Wynn barks and snarls in his usual “grouch with a heart of gold” manner.

Cherie’s sensitive mind is open to alien brainwaves calling to her from a nearby (seemingly) abandoned government installation. Carradine and his neighbor Wynn help her try to find out what’s going on. Continue reading

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DAIGORO VS GOLIATH (1972) BAD KAIJU MOVIE

DAIGORO VS GOLIATH (1972) – This neglected kaiju (giant monster) film from Japan is one of the most obscure of them all in America. That’s odd since the movie was a joint project between the creators of Godzilla AND the creators of Ultraman, two very popular characters here in the west.

Sad to say, it’s not worth the effort of seeking it out. Daigoro vs Goliath is disappointing all around. Except maybe for very young children. Or very dumb children.

Not even the worst Gamera movies are as silly and pointless as this little honey is. Daigoro – who looks like a dog/ duck/ Billiken hybrid – is the offspring of a mop-topped mother monster who crashed on Earth from outer space and was killed while trying to trash Japan. She looked much cooler than her son but got killed off very quickly. Continue reading

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ROBERT DUVALL: MY FAVORITES AMONG HIS OVERLOOKED STARRING ROLES

R.I.P. Robert Duvall. This year we say goodbye to this monumental actor like we said goodbye to his friend and fellow thespian giant Gene Hackman early last year. Most tributes will cover Duvall’s roles in his many, many films whose titles are household words. This being Balladeer’s Blog I’ll instead look at some of his overlooked gems.

TOMORROW (1972) – Robert Duvall – who called this one of his favorite performances – plays poverty-stricken farmer and sawmill operator Jackson Fentry of Mississippi. One cold December evening he comes across the pregnant Sarah Eubanks, a poor woman whose abusive husband has abandoned her because he wants nothing to do with raising their child.

The lonely Fentry nurses Sarah back to health and supports her through her baby’s birth. He promises to raise the child as his own and keeps his word even when his and Sarah’s relationship is cut short by her poor health. Fentry’s fundamental decency rubs off on the boy, who shows signs of being as compassionate as Jackson himself.

SPOILERS: Unfortunately, Sarah’s violent brothers eventually learn that “Jackson Jr.” (Johnny Mask) is their sister’s child and take him from Fentry by force. From then on, the boy grows into the same kind of violent criminal that his uncles are. Ultimately, the young man is murdered, and his killer is let off because the jury views the slaying as a public benefit given what a depraved criminal the late Jackson Jr. was.

Horton Foote (who adapted the screenplay for To Kill a Mockingbird in which Duvall played Boo Radley) expanded one of William Faulkner’s short stories about lawyer Gavin Stevens into this film’s screenplay. A shorter version was first performed on tv’s Playhouse 90.

The film drags, but Robert performs brilliantly as a downtrodden man whose dignity and character shine through despite the deficient vocabulary his lack of education has left him with. Continue reading

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THE DOBERMAN GANG MOVIES (1972-1980)

Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at the neglected Doberman Gang series of movies.

THE DOBERMAN GANG (1972) – I’m a lifelong dog lover, so let me point out that this was the very first film to carry the American Humane Association’s guarantee that “No animals were harmed in the making of this film.” Despite spawning a franchise, The Doberman Gang flies by the proverbial seat of its pants, and while it’s good to know that no dogs were harmed this flick features a few Doberman attacks on humans that seem too gritty.

This movie bounces erratically between Family Friendly and low-budget gimmick production. Eddie (Byron Mabe) leads his bank robber accomplices Sammy and JoJo (Simmy Bow and JoJo D’Amore) who idiotically screw up heists that seem like sure things.

Fed up with the way that human error keeps messing up his carefully planned capers, Eddie strikes upon the idea of using trained dogs to rob banks for him. That may sound like the premise of a light-hearted Disney movie from the 1970s but The Doberman Gang retains a low-life criminal air that’s too grimy at times. Continue reading

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RICARDO MONTALBAN’S SWASHBUCKLER FILMS

Nobody doesn’t like Ricardo Montalban. From Mr. Rourke to his memorable villain roles, his suave charm and magnetic charisma kept him a star for decades. Here’s a look at his swashbuckler movies.

RAGE OF THE BUCCANEERS (1961) – Montalban stars as 1600s buccaneer Captain Gordon aka the Black Pirate (no relation to the Douglas Fairbanks silent film). He’s a former slave turned pirate and his favorite targets for plunder are slave ships.

Gordon liberates all the slaves on such vessels and loots all valuables. His suffering when he was a slave drives him still and he has a “secret identity” of sorts as a wealthy landowner in San Salvador. Through that identity he covertly keeps abreast of ships with valuable cargos as well as the actions of slave merchants trying to avoid his pirate attacks. 

Ricardo has two ladies vying for his love – stowaway Luanal (Liana Orfei) and the governor’s daughter Manuela (Giulia Rubini). Vincent Price himself plays Romero, an evil politician and slave trader plotting to overthrow the governor and take his place. He also wants Manuela for himself. 

Romero’s most dangerous ally is Captain Tortuga (Jose Jaspe), a ruthless slaver who has clashed with Captain Gordon over the years. Montalban shines as the hero viewers can’t help but cheer for, especially when he thwarts the efforts of slavers to dump their chained human “cargo” overboard to drown rather than have our pirate captain liberate them.

This movie should have been remade in recent decades. I know studios consider pirate movies to be risky ventures but this one seems like it couldn’t miss. 88 minutes. Continue reading

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CUCUMBER CASTLE (1970) THE BEE GEES, BLIND FAITH & LULU

CUCUMBER CASTLE (1970) – Eight years before the Bee Gees embarrassed themselves on the big screen with a horrible movie forcing a storyline to the Beatles album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band they embarrassed themselves on the small screen forcing a storyline to their own album Cucumber Castle.

Well sort of. Mostly they just appropriated the title of their song and album Cucumber Castle and fixated on the word “castle” to provide the premise of this 54-minute film made for British television.

Lulu, Spike Milligan, Vincent Price and many more show up in the supporting cast. Sammy Davis, Jr.’s scenes were cut. Or were removed under threats from Sammy’s pal Frank Sinatra. Not so lucky was Eleanor Bron. I can say no more. (See what I did there?) 

The musical misfire was directed by Hugh Gladwish … the director of THE GHOST GOES GEAR (1966), reviewed last week here at Balladeer’s Blog. Barry and Maurice Gibb are the credited writers, however, so the “comedy” sketches are only sometimes as bad as those in the 1966 theatrical movie. 

Cucumber Castle is so awful that not being in it was presumably brother Robin Gibb’s greatest professional triumph. He had recently left the Bee Gees in a huff to try a solo career, and little Andy Gibb was only twelve years old, so Barry and Maurice, who also produced, were left holding the whoopie cushion bag.

In a fairytale land resembling Elizabethan England, a king (comedian Frankie Howerd) is on his deathbed. Barry Gibb plays Prince Frederick and Maurice plays Prince Marmaduke, the king’s sons.

Not only does Howerd resemble Mel Brooks but his intentionally hammy performance as the dying monarch would fit right into a Brooks comedy. And Peter Blythe’s opening narration contained a couple of reasonably funny jokes, so I briefly dared to hope that this telefilm might be better than its reputation.

That was The First Mistake I Made, to force in the title of a Bee Gees song. Continue reading

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JOHN PAYNE’S SWASHBUCKLER FILMS

World War Two veteran John Payne appeared in everything from Film Noir to westerns to Miracle on 34th Street. In between he showed up in these swashbuckler movies.

RAIDERS OF THE SEVEN SEAS (1953) – John Payne plays the real-life 1500s pirate Barbarossa (Redbeard) in this fictional version of his exploits. While working as a corsair for the Sultans of the Middle East, the daring and accomplished seadog spends a little too much time with a Sultan’s harem and is sentenced to death.

Barbarossa escapes to sea just ahead of the executioner’s axe, takes over a Spanish slave ship and liberates the slaves. Reaching the Caribbean Islands Barbarossa accepts a French Letter of Marque so he can prey on more Spanish ships as a privateer.

Eventually, during a raid of Tortuga, our hero seizes the incumbent Spanish governor Alida – played by Donna Reed in uncharacteristic spitfire mode – and holds her for ransom. Barbarossa and his crew take on Spanish galleons and Alida’s treacherous betrothed Captain Salcedo (1950s smug jackass Gerald Mohr).

Alida escapes on her own but soon realizes Salcedo’s true nature and helps Barbarossa bring him down to begin a romance of their own. Also starring were Lon Chaney Jr, Anthony Caruso, Claire DuBrey and Frank De Kova of F-Troop. 88 minutes.    Continue reading

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ANTHONY GEARY, R.I.P. – BLOOD SABBATH (1972)

BLOOD SABBATH (1972) – Anthony Geary, best known as Luke Spencer on General Hospital when that soap opera was kicking off the absurd trend of daytime dramas being more like Republic Serials, has passed away. Balladeer’s Blog marks the sad event with this review of Geary’s most Psychotronic movie.

Hey, when you needed someone to save Port Charles from a weather machine you needed James Bond or Luke Spencer. Anthony Geary skyrocketed to fame as Luke of “Luke and Laura” fame on General Hospital.

Genie Francis played Luke’s romantic partner Laura (after they retconned his rape of her into a “seduction” instead). 

For her part, Genie had to suffer through a real-life marriage to Commander Riker from Star Trek: The Next Generation and Anthony had to suffer through bombs like Blood Sabbath

It’s tough to beat the Bad Movie pedigree of this flick. For starters, it was directed by Brianne Murphy, one-time wife of schlock film icon Jerry Warren, the man behind several of his own flops AND the U.S. distribution of several Mexican-made horror and wrestling movies.

Costarring with Geary was Dyanne Thorne, Ilsa herself from truly awful films like Ilsa, She Wolf of the S.S., Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks, Ilsa, the Tigress of Siberia and Ilsa, the Wicked Warden. Those flicks, while not porn, are only for hardcore devotees of bad exploitation movies. Continue reading

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MONDO CHARLES BRONSON: HIS MOST UNUSUAL MOVIES

Charles Buchinsky, better known as Charles Bronson, was a World War Two veteran who went on to superstardom as one of the most iconic “tough guys” in film history.

Balladeer’s Blog has reviewed several of his westerns so far, but this time I’ll examine Bronson’s offbeat, uncharacteristic starring roles. 

SOMEONE BEHIND THE DOOR (1971) – This Eurothriller directed by Nicolas Gessner was also released as Two Minds for Murder. Charles Bronson stars as an amnesiac patient of sinister brain-surgeon and psychiatrist Laurence Jeffries (Anthony Perkins himself).

Jeffries knows his wife is cheating on him and subjects Bronson – billed as the Stranger – to unethical psychological programming to make him think the brain surgeon-psychiatrist’s wife is really his wife, then manipulate him into murdering her.

In the role of unfaithful wife Frances Jeffries is Bronson’s wife Jill Ireland, since we’re in the period when Charles dragged her into everything with him like she was Linda McCartney to his Paul. The story isn’t plausible, of course, but artsy Eurothrillers always accentuated atmosphere and “what if” situations over realistic plots. 

Anthony Perkins tones down his twitchiness a bit and Bronson is credible as the manipulated amnesiac thinking he’s met the wife his memory loss wiped from his mind.

To say anything more would give away too many spoilers. Continue reading

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FOES (1977) WEIRD MOVIE REVIEW

FOES (1977) – Though I’m reviewing this movie under my Bad and Weird Movies category, let me be clear that Foes is not bad and it is weird in the best way possible. I’ve watched the 91-minute version with Jerry Hardin (Deep Throat from The X-Files) and Macdonald Carey (“Like sands through the hourglass …”) top billed AND the 72-minute version with just the virtual unknowns appearing.

I much preferred the longer version because it helped add important context to the film and actually made it feel like a cross between the old TV series Project Bluebook and the aforementioned X-Files. John Coats, the writer and director of Foes, went on to a long career in visual effects and this movie nicely highlighted what he was capable of, even on a small budget. 

A married couple (Alan Blanchard and Jane Wiley) are posted at the lighthouse and marine science station on Pershing Island off the coast of California. Their daily routine turns nightmarish when a vessel from another planet shows up and subjects them to frightening and harmful scrutiny.  Continue reading

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