This wraps up my look at three of Tom Selleck’s early starring roles in turkeys.
Unlike The Chinese Typewriter and The Gypsy Warriors, both of which were tv pilot movies for shows that did not get picked up as a series, The Washington Affair was a theatrical film made in 1977 but was so bad it didn’t get released until the 1980s, after Selleck became a big star.
THE WASHINGTON AFFAIR (1977) – Also released as A Very Intimate Washington Affair, and for all I know as A Very Brady Washington Affair, this movie was a remake of director Victor Stoloff’s own 1966 film Intimacy. Neither version was very successful, but trivia buffs remember the original and the remake for Barry Sullivan playing the exact same character in both.
Sullivan portrayed dishonest businessman Walter Nicholson. In 1977 Tom Selleck costarred as Jim Hawley, a hunky engineer in charge of deciding what company gets a lucrative government contract – Nicholson’s or one of his competitors.
The 1966 flick at least had the advantage of shocking audiences of the time with its depiction of corrupt government figures, dirty businessmen and bribery – both monetary and sexual. Not so for 1977’s The Washington Affair.
By ’77 even the production’s attempt to cash in on Watergate and other government scandals was a bit too late and the sexual angle would barely disturb a contemporary grandma. Add the facts that the script sucks, there are literally only two sets for the entire film, and the central camera gimmick is absurd. Continue reading
THE GYPSY WARRIORS (1978) – Yesterday I reviewed the godawful 
This 1978 tv-movie starts out by turning “show, don’t tell” on its ear. As bad as the opening of The Chinese Typewriter was, the opening to this World War Two snoozer is even worse. The beginning devotes FOURTEEN entire minutes of the 76-minute runtime to a portentous announcer merely narrating as we see mismatched footage of hands, arms and the backs of heads plus second unit film of buildings, airplanes and vehicles.
Two thousand fishermen from Cape Cod had gone off to enlist in the Continental Army, and in their absence the British had repeatedly landed raiding parties to harass the citizens.
THE CHINESE TYPEWRITER (1979) – It’s tough to remember the time before Tom Selleck was a tv megastar. His looks made him stand out and he had “future success” written all over him. He even showed he had a knack for comedy when he made two appearances on The Rockford Files as the annoyingly perfect and cliche-ridden detective Lance White. (“I’m okay, Jim. It’s just a flesh wound.”) 
With those writing and directing pedigrees behind the project you should have been able to smell several seasons, big money and some Emmy Awards in the offing. 
ROUND ONE: GAME ONE – The SOUTHEASTERN UNIVERSITY FIRE welcomed the REINHARDT UNIVERSITY EAGLES (should be Rottweilers). The Fire led 14-7 in the opening Quarter and 21-10 by Halftime. Neither team scored in the 3rd Quarter, but Reinhardt University mounted a fierce rally in the 4th. Southeastern University held on for a 24-22 victory. 
ROUND ONE: GAME TWO – A more lopsided affair was to be had in Oskaloosa, IA as the WILLIAM PENN UNIVERSITY STATESMEN played host to the TEXAS WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY RAMS. The 1st Half ended with the Statesmen out in front 21-3. After the break, William Penn U. outscored the Rams 17-6 to win the game 38-9.
ROUND ONE: GAME THREE – The UNIVERSITY OF ST. FRANCIS (IN) COUGARS took the field against the visiting EVANGEL UNIVERSITY VALOR. A 7-0 opening Quarter advantage for the Valor became a mere 10-7 edge come Halftime. The 3rd Quarter ended with the Cougars within 12-10, then in the 4th they came from behind for a 13-12 triumph. 
In the Zoroastrian version of the end times the Big Event will happen 3,000 years after Zoroaster/ Zarathustra introduced the world to the belief system that bears his name. For those who date Zoroaster’s birth to around 1,000 BCE that means the end could come any year now, but for those who date his birth closer to 600 BCE the world still has hundreds of years to go. 
MARVEL TEAM-UP Vol 1 #53 (Jan) 
The genetically engineered human/ animal hybrid creature Woodgod (at right) – also immune to the nerve gas – is still being contained in the depopulated town by Major Del Tremens and his troops at Tranquility Base, who caused the nerve gas leak. 
The SUSQUEHANNA UNIVERSITY RIVERHAWKS will host the WASHINGTON & JEFFERSON COLLEGE PRESIDENTS. 
The WHEATON COLLEGE THUNDER will host the CROWN COLLEGE POLARS. 
CHUP – The sun god of the Ainu. His wife is Tombe, the moon goddess. Ainu homes orient their sacred window toward the east to greet the rising sun. Until recent decades it was customary to salute the sun upon exposure to its rays, similar to the practice of genuflecting to the center of an altar, but done without kneeling. 
The PITTSBURG (KS) STATE GORILLAS will host the CHADRON STATE EAGLES. 
The COLORADO STATE AT PUEBLO THUNDER WOLVES will host the UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS IN THE PERMIAN BASIN FALCONS. 
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