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BALLADEER’S BLOG’S COLLEGE FOOTBALL RANKINGS: SEPTEMBER 21st

HELLO, READERS! SORRY I’VE BEEN SO SWAMPED THIS WEEK. I will get back to my usual posting frequency in the next day or so, but for right now here is a quick college football rankings item. I’ll be back to my other topics later today.

Morningside MustangsNAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) – 1. MORNINGSIDE COLLEGE MUSTANGS   ###   2. NORTHWESTERN (IA) COLLEGE RED RAIDERS   ###   3. GRAND VIEW UNIVERSITY VIKINGS (should be Zebras)   ###   4. SOUTHWESTERN COLLEGE MOUNDBUILDERS   ###   5. DORDT UNIVERSITY DEFENDERS   ###   

Pittsburg State GorillasNCAA DIVISION TWO – 1. PITTSBURG (KS) STATE GORILLAS   ###   2. FERRIS STATE BULLDOGS   ###   3. DELTA STATE STATESMEN   ###   4. COLORADO SCHOOL OF MINES OREDIGGERS   ###   5. GRAND VALLEY STATE LAKERS   ###    Continue reading

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SURF NAZIS MUST DIE (1987) – BAD MOVIE REVIEW

surf nazis must dieSURF NAZIS MUST DIE (1987) – The ideal companion piece to the original Point Break! Rest assured, the Surf Nazis are depicted as the scummy villains they are and that they do get their just desserts in this 83-minute bundle from So Bad It’s Good movie Heaven. Though distributed by the venerable Troma Team, Surf Nazis Must Die was actually produced by the Institute. The film was directed by Peter George and written by George with Jon Ayre. 

This post-apocalypse flick is not the typically self-conscious, over-the-top Troma madness that we all love. Its more subdued but still energetically bizarre tone often provokes complaints from hardcore Troma fans who expected something like The Toxic Avenger, Class of Nuke ‘Em High or Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD.

surf nazis must die posterSurf Nazis Must Die is refreshingly played mostly straight – but still howlingly bad – and the actors performers don’t spend their time practically winking at the audience over how absurd the whole thing is. That’s a nice change of pace in this age when there are way too many “look how bad and zany we are” low-budget flicks down on their knees begging for cult status.

Obviously, this Institute production is trying to fit into the post-apocalypse sub-genre of Mad Max imitators from the 1980s. SNMD earns its place with its originality. For one thing, rather than a global cataclysm, the movie is set in the aftermath of a very localized apocalypse – the California coastline has been ravaged by a series of monumental earthquakes. Continue reading

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THIRTEEN AGAINST FATE (1966) – FORGOTTEN TELEVISION

13 against fateTHIRTEEN AGAINST FATE (1966) – Based on thirteen stand-alone crime stories by Georges Simenon, the creator of Jules Maigret, this BBC series was long thought lost except for three episodes which had gone unwiped by the penny-wise and pound-foolish broadcasters. In September of 2010, the entire series was discovered in America’s Library of Congress, finally making all thirteen episodes available.

None of the 50-minute productions featured Maigret and focused on more of a psychological thriller approach rather than traditional mystery story approach.

The episodes:

THE LODGER (June 19th) – Also known as The Tenant to avoid confusion with the Alfred Hitchcock films titled The Lodger. (One silent, one with sound.) In Belgium, a Turkish rug dealer hides out in a boarding house after committing a vicious murder to cover other crimes. His guilt and paranoia over being tracked down and arrested make things unbearable for him and his mistress. Starring Zia Mohyeddin, Gwendolyn Watts, Gemma Jones and Christopher George.

thirteen against fateTRAPPED (June 26th) – Louis Bert, a carpenter turned petty criminal, lives in Nice with Constance, a wealthy woman he is conning. On the side he romances Lulu, a prostitute whom he passes off as his sister to the wealthy Constance.

        When Lulu’s former pimp Jean is released from prison, he locates her in Nice and wants to take her back to the streets, killing Constance in the process. Louis hides all the evidence of the slaying and makes off with the late woman’s valuables, only to be caught and accused of being the murderer. Starring Keith Buckley, Sylvia Coleridge, Donald Eccles and Mary Webster. Continue reading

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BALLADEER’S BLOG’S COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM SEPTEMBER 16th

HEADLINES

delta stateDELTA STATE TAKES DOWN DIVISION ONE – The NCAA Division Two’s DELTA STATE STATESMEN welcomed NCAA Division ONE’s MISSISSIPPI VALLEY STATE DELTA DEVILS yesterday. The 1st Half was pretty tight with the Delta Devils clinging to a mere 7-6 edge at the break. The Statesmen came out of the locker room on fire and seized a 22-7 lead in the 3rd Quarter before blowing out Mississippi Valley State 35-7 in the 4th.

Newberry helmet goodMARATHON GAME OF THE WEEK – To paraphrase Winston Churchill, “Never have so many football players played for so long for so few points.” The NEWBERRY COLLEGE WOLVES and their guests the EMORY & HENRY UNIVERSITY WASPS needed SIX OVERTIMES to finish their game. With that many OT’s you’d expect a score of at least forty-something points apiece instead of the 25-23 Wolves victory that we got.

Susquehanna University River Hawks helmetKNOCKING OFF NUMBER TEN – Down in NCAA Division Three, the 22nd ranked SUSQUEHANNA UNIVERSITY RIVER HAWKS visited the number 10 CORTLAND STATE RED DRAGONS. The Red Dragons led 14-7 in the 1st Quarter and 21-14 at Halftime. A 35-21 Cortland State advantage to end the 3rd Quarter was followed by a furious River Hawks rally in the 4th as they came back to win it 38-35. Continue reading

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KAMANDI: THE LAST BOY ON EARTH – HIS EARLY ADVENTURES

This weekend’s escapist, light-hearted superhero blog post will look at DC’s variation on the original Planet of the Apes. The Kamandi series was a post-apocalypse tale with animals mutated into quasi-human forms and with human intelligence.

kamandi 1KAMANDI Vol 1 #1 (November 1972)

Title: The Last Boy on Earth

Villains: Wolf-Men, Tiger-Men and Leopard-Men

Synopsis: Years after an event remembered only as The Great Disaster, a teenage male named Kamandi lives with his grandfather in the remains of a military post called Command D. (Yes, the post name inspired our hero’s name Kamandi.) 

Kamandi is rowing around flooded Manhattan and vicinity in his daily recon. When he returns to the command post he sees that anthropomorphic wolf-men have killed his grandfather.

Kamandi slays the wolf-men in turn and abandons his former home, driving off in the late wolf-men’s wagon. (Oddly, horses did not gain human form and intelligence and are still used to ride and as beasts of burden.)

kamandi and tiger menAfter some time, the young man gets caught in the middle of a large-scale battle between an army of tiger-men and an army of leopard-men, all wearing the clothing and wielding the weapons of the humans who used to rule the world.

Kamandi winds up taken prisoner by the tiger-men and their general, Great Caesar. Continue reading

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THE 14 AMAZONS (1972)

14 amazonsTHE 14 AMAZONS (1972) – This often-overlooked Hong Kong martial arts film was directed and written by Cheng Kang and produced by the iconic Shaw Brothers studios. The 14 Amazons is a female-centric take on China’s historical Yang Family, many of whom were accomplished generals over the centuries.

Obviously, embellishments and outright myths have mixed in with whatever the real stories of the Yang generals may have been. During the past thousand years or so countless novels, plays and operas have been produced about this family, their deeds and their intrigues.

Believe it or not, The 14 Amazons was one of the first modern-day big-screen productions about the storied Yangs and takes a unique approach. Many of the previous adaptations of the saga led up to the valiant and/or tragic death of one of the Yang generals in battle or otherwise.

les 14 amazonesThis 1972 film starts out with the death of one of the Yang men and proceeds from there. By this point there are so few male Yangs still alive that the wives, sisters, and other female relatives of the late hero band together and set out for revenge.

Political corruption prevents the Yang women from getting the Emperor’s okay to use the Imperial Army, so they decide to handle things themselves. The ladies pointedly ignore insults like “This fight wouldn’t be a job for women. It’s a task for generals!” and go into action. Continue reading

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ANOTHER WORLD (1873) – ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION

another worldANOTHER WORLD (1873) – This highly detailed account of life in Montalluyah (“God’s own city”), the capitol city of Mars, was written by British author Benjamin Lumley under the pen name Hermes. The book is presented as excerpts from historical accounts, including a biography of the Great Martian Reformer Tootmanyoso.

Mars is depicted as geographically similar – but far from identical – to Earth. Water on Mars is violet colored, hills are more numerous, and there are several species of plants, animals and insects not found on Earth. Technology on the Red Planet is far beyond Earth’s, due largely to the way Martian science learned to extract the “innate electricity” in every object, even unliving ones. 

As the Earthling “Hermes” translates Martian documents, he finds that much is made of the historical figure Tootmanyoso. Before the coming of that great man, Mars was prone to war, crime, poverty and disease. Continue reading

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HARRY HOUDINI’S SILENT MOVIE ADVENTURES

Many people have forgotten that escape artist Harry Houdini parlayed his stage fame into a series of gimmick movies and a serial during the age of silent films. Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at those overlooked productions.

master mysteryTHE MASTER MYSTERY (1918-1919) – The first film footage of Harry Houdini performing his stage act dates to 1907, but it wasn’t until this 15-part serial that he hit the big screen in a series of adventures. Chapter One of The Master Mystery debuted on November 18th, 1918 and starred Houdini as a federal agent named Quentin Locke.

Quentin is assigned to infiltrate a sinister corporation that practices patent fraud, but as Locke’s investigation probes deeper, a far-reaching conspiracy against the entire United States is exposed.

automaton Every cliffhanger ending for the chapters of the serials involves a deathtrap which Houdini escapes from at the start of the following installment.

No trick photography was used in filming Harry’s escapes, and another bit of history in The Master Mystery involves the villain’s robot, called the Automaton. One of the first powered exoskeletons in movie history was used to maneuver the android around. As the story goes on, the Automaton’s creator modifies it to spray his nerve gas called the Madagascan Madness.  Continue reading

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THE GREAT MOLASSES FLOOD OF SEPTEMBER 11th, 1911

new orleans 1911For obvious reasons I held off a day before posting this item about the very odd incident on September 11th, 1911.

It was called the Great Molasses Flood and it hit New Orleans 112 years ago. The Sugar Planters Storage and Distributing Company had nearly a million gallons of molasses burst from its tanks, causing a literal molasses flood that spread for over a quarter of a mile.  Continue reading

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SEPTEMBER NINTH’S COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS

HEADLINES

indiana wesleyan helmet faceINDIANA WESLEYAN CONQUERS DIVISION ONE – Each year plenty of NAIA teams upset higher division opponents and sometimes a few will even topple Division ONE teams. The INDIANA WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY WILDCATS welcomed D1’s VALPARAISO UNIVERSITY BEACONS yesterday. After a scoreless 1st Quarter, the Wildcats went up 17-7 by Halftime, then had to hold on against a Beacons rally to cement the Upset 24-22.

northwestern ia redNORTHWESTERN (IA) ALSO TAKES DOWN D1 – Not to be outdone, the NAIA’s NORTHWESTERN (IA) COLLEGE RED RAIDERS stunned their hosts the DRAKE UNIVERSITY BULLDOGS. The Bulldogs led 14-10 at the Half and 14-13 to end the 3rd Quarter but the Red Raiders tied it up 21-21 in the 4th. In Overtime, NC won out 27-24.

Arizona Christian Univ helmet GOODARIZONA CHRISTIAN TOPPLES DIVISION TWO – Speaking of the NAIA downing D2 teams, the ARIZONA CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY FIRESTORM played host to the FORT LEWIS COLLEGE SKYHAWKS. The Firestorm completely dominated the Skyhawks, leading them 14-3 at the break enroute to a 49-25 smackdown victory. Continue reading

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