Tag Archives: badfilm

BAD MOVIE PAGE: INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS (1973)

INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS (1973) – Category: More weird than bad, but with a classic premise and execution  

This little honey (sorry) is the perfect example of why I prefer bad movies from the 1980’s and earlier: because back then they played them straight and weren’t constantly making self-aware jokes to the audience. If this movie had been made more recently it would have been INTENTIONALLY cheesy and goofy, like the Killer Condom flicks or the Gingerdead Man movies.

Invasion of the Bee Girls plays like a sexploitation version of The X-Files long before that show was on the air. The hero of the movie is a State Department investigator played by cult figure William Smith, known from the tv series Laredo and from countless exploitation flicks like Black Samson to the “Hell’s Angels Fighting The Vietnam War” biker movie The Losers. The film’s screenwriter was THE Nicholas Meyer of Star Trek II and The Seven Percent Solution fame. Herb “The Worm Eaters” Robbins also shows up onscreen.

William Smith’s character, Neil Agar, is sent to California to investigate why a scientist involved in top secret government research dropped dead under suspicious circumstances – he died of apparent sexual exhaustion and people nearby swear they heard a sound like bees buzzing at Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE: FOR YOUR HEIGHT ONLY (1981)

Weng Weng and Lola

Weng Weng and Lola

FOR YOUR HEIGHT ONLY (1981) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9– sized cult following.

I’ve been delaying reviewing this hilariously bizarre film for years. It’s just so chock full of inane dialogue and WTF moments that it’s a challenge to write a review that isn’t novel-length.

For the essentials: this is a Philippine action movie starring the midget novelty celebrity named Weng Weng as Secret Agent OO (yes, Double O). It sounds like a comedy but what makes it great is that IT’S NOT! It’s played seriously and features Weng Weng using firearms and fancy gadgets like James Bond, engaging in martial arts fights like Bruce Lee, drooling over regular-sized women like Herve Villaichez, sword- fighting as skillfully as Zatoichi and sporting a poorly- concealed bald spot like Ryen Russillo. 

Weng Weng works for an outfit called simply “The Secret Agency”, so I’m guessing it’s one of those generic intelligence services that is MUCH cheaper than name brands. Hell, the head of the Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE: GANJASAURUS REX (1987)

GANJASAURUS REX (1987) – Category: A film that doesn’t know what it wants to be.

In Balladeer’s Blog’s review of the incredibly bad horror film Horror House on Highway 5 I pointed out that a few scenes gave the impression that the filmmakers might have been trying for a wry parody of slasher movies but lacked the talent to make the film work even as a comedy. Ganjasaurus Rex has that same problem tenfold.  The parts that are supposed to be funny aren’t, the scenes that aren’t supposed to be funny are, and the end result is a cinematic misfit that is more boring- bad than fun- bad.

The film begins promisingly as a sendup of the Reagan Administration’s hilariously naive “Just say no to drugs” campaign. A fictitious arm of the Gipper’s War on Drugs called C.A.M.P. (Campaign Against Marijuana Planting) is leaning on pot growers, burning their crops and hauling them off to prison. That’s the Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE: THE NEWLYDEADS (1987)

 I recently received an email requesting that I review the hilariously bad 1987 horror film The Newlydeads. As it happens I reviewed that flick in 2010, so here it is again. As a reminder to new readers if you want an immediate bad movie fix on a particular film you can check my Bad Movie page to see if I’ve reviewed it already. Here is the link: https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/

THE NEWLYDEADS (1987) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following   This film is about an undead transvestite slasher called Jackie who preys on the couples at a honeymoon hotel. Hey, if the Sleepaway Camp horror films can have the Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE TRIPLE FEATURE

As more foreplay for the upcoming Frontierado holiday (August 3rd) here’s a look at 3 weird westerns. For more bad movie reviews see my Bad Movie page.

BAD KIDS OF THE WEST (1967) – Even for a Spaghetti Western this movie is weird, weird, weird. A pair of outlaws on the run hide out in a town populated only by children who act like adult western townspeople. The little boys all try to act like the steely-eyed killers played by Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, Franco Nero, John Garko, etc. The little girls all act like slutty saloon whores, making you wonder if child molesters were this film’s target audience. The charming vibe of Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE: THE PRICE OF POWER (1969) SPAGHETTI WESTERN

 Time for another look at a Weird Western in anticipation of the Frontierado holiday coming up on Friday, August 3rd. Once again, think of me as The Bronson Canyon Kid as I look at another weirdass western to get us all in the Frontierado mood. This flick restages the JFK assassination in the Wild West.  

THE PRICE OF POWER (1969) – When it comes to Spaghetti Westerns most people are only familiar with the mainstream examples like the Clint Eastwood vehicles or the monumental classic Once Upon A Time In The West. There were literally more than Continue reading

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FRONTIERADO MOVIE: BLACK NOON (1971)

 Frontierado is coming up very quickly! Bigger than Life Day, trendier than Festivus, Frontierado falls on Friday, August 3rd this year. Veteran readers of Balladeer’s Blog know all about the joys of the Frontierado season, but newbies will be treated to their first-ever countdown to one of the grandest holidays of them all!

Per tradition I’m starting the countdown with a look at some Weird Westerns and as the happy day draws nearer I’ll examine more serious elements of Frontierado lore. For readers who want to find out what they’ve been missing click here: https://glitternight.com/2010/07/28/just-9-more-shopping-days-until-frontierado/ 

BLACK NOON – (1971) – Roy Thinnes stars as an Old West preacher who runs afoul of a practicing coven of witches. These witches operate out of a western town called Melas (three guesses) and provide Thinnes and his wife sanctuary after their wagon breaks down on their way west. Everything seems okay at first, but gradually it becomes clear that Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE: LEWD LIZARD (1985)

lizard_bigI normally don’t post two movie reviews this close to each other, but I got to thinking today about how it’s been awhile since I got any threatening emails. Since getting semi-literate missives from outraged people is half the fun of writing this blog I decided to finish working on my rough draft of this review and post it today.

LEWD LIZARD (1985) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic but its thoroughly outrageous premise will prevent it from ever garnering a Plan 9– sized cult following

This film comes to us from Hong Kong, the home of killer fetus movies and similar treats, so those with weak stomachs are forewarned. My addiction to truly awful Mad Scientist movies is well known and Lewd Lizard’s lead character is the maddest of them all but also the least scientific, adding immeasurably to the laughs. 

There’s no gentle way of explaining this movie, so to prepare you for what is to come let me Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE: HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP (1980)

 HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP (1980) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following 

Okay, this movie is better known than many of the other joyously bad films I review, but it still hasn’t acquired the reputation or the following it deserves as Midnight Movie or Movie Host material. Vic Morrow IS the heavy and Doug McClure IS another bland and unmemorable hero in this Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE ENCORE – ASSIGNMENT: TERROR (1970)

 I’ve been getting emails requesting that I review this movie, but I already did in 2010. For the folks requesting it, here it is again. And remember, if you want instant gratification for your bad movie fix you can check my Bad Movie page to see if I’ve already reviewed the movie you’re requesting: https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/

ASSIGNMENT: TERROR (1970) – If they gave a Nobel Prize for bad movie premises this baby would easily wind up wearing one of those big medallions around its neck! Spain’s King of Horror (and John Belushi look-alike) , Paul “Jacinto Molina” Naschy is in this film playing his recurring character, tormented lycanthrope Waldemar Daninsky. The premise of this movie is that aliens plan to conquer the world by frightening humanity into submission by scaring us with monsters. Call me crazy, but I think Continue reading

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