Tag Archives: Bad Movies

NAMATHON: A JOE NAMATH MARATHON FOR SUPERBOWL SUNDAY

Joe Namath started life as a Pennsylvania boy. Later in life he became the quarterback for the University of Alabama Crimson Tide under iconic football coach Paul “Bear” Bryant. After college he was signed by the New York Jets for what was then the highest-ever contract for a quarterback.

Before long, he earned a place in NFL history by leading the underdog Jets to a victory over the (then) Baltimore Colts in Superbowl III. Though the rest of his football career was – let’s be honest – less than impressive, Joe’s charisma and appeal to the ladies carried him into a minor career as a piece of kitsch-casting in movies and on television. 

NORWOOD (1970) – The stunning sequel to True Grit. Okay, I’m kidding! I couldn’t resist since Norwood came out a year after True Grit, was based on another novel by the author of True Grit and starred Glen Campbell and Kim Darby, also from True Grit. Marguerite Roberts wrote the screenplay for both flicks, too. 

Glen stars as one of the few Vietnam War veterans not depicted by Hollywood as PTSD-riddled. As Norwood Pratt, the returning vet winds up in a job transporting cars from Texas to New York City but soon learns he’s driving stolen merchandise.

Joe William Namath plays Joe William Reese, a friend of Norwood who sees him become a singing sensation. Also in the strange circle of friends are dwarf actor Billy Curtis and runaway bride Rita (Darby).

A scene in which Namath tosses a football back and forth with Billy Curtis deserves to stand alongside the football-tossing scenes in The Room. Plus there’s Dom Deluise, Carol Lynley, David Huddleston and Joann, the intelligent chicken.      Continue reading

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SHAKE, RATTLE AND ROCK (1956)

SHAKE, RATTLE AND ROCK! (1956) – Rocksploitation at its campiest! In this hilariously bad movie Rock and Roll music is blamed for the Juvenile Delinquency epidemic of the 1950s.

Not only does one particularly irrational city ban rock music completely but it puts the local rock DJ ON TRIAL for playing rock and roll records! Continue reading

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REEL WILD CINEMA: THE FINAL THREE EPISODES (20-22)

Balladeer’s Blog’s Forgotten Television feature wraps up its look at Reel Wild Cinema (1996-1997).

As we close out this item with episodes 20-22, some readers have requested that I add a warning about the extreme nature of some of the bad and weird movies that were presented on this program. So please be aware of that before you click “continue reading.”

THE RUNDOWN FOR EPISODE TWENTY (June 16th, 1997) Continue reading

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REEL WILD CINEMA: EPISODES SEVENTEEN TO NINETEEN

Balladeer’s Blog continues its look at the Forgotten Television item Reel Wild Cinema (1996-1997).

This time around it’s Episodes 17-19.

THE RUNDOWN FOR EPISODE SEVENTEEN (May 12th, 1997)

Title: Southern Sleaze

Truncated Films Shown:

moonshine mountainMOONSHINE MOUNTAIN (1964) – An example of Hicksploitation. H.G. Lewis of all people wrote and SANG for this movie. A country western singer, tired of the artificial feel of mainstream Nashville music, spends some time with his North Carolina relatives to soak up some authentic atmosphere.

The singer gets caught in the middle of feuding mountain families, a corrupt sheriff, moonshiners and the drivers of such “White Lightning” throughout the region. As the violence increases, some dead victims are dumped in moonshine stills, where the whiskey is so strong it dissolves the bodies.

This flick is one weird animal. It’s part Hee Haw, part Dukes of Hazzard, part Deliverance and part Li’l Abner. Continue reading

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REEL WILD CINEMA: EPISODES FOURTEEN TO SIXTEEN

Balladeer’s Blog continues its look at the Forgotten Television item Reel Wild Cinema (1996-1997).

This time around it’s Episodes 14-16.

THE RUNDOWN FOR EPISODE FOURTEEN (April 21st, 1997)

Title: Gals & Ghouls

Truncated Films Shown:

it's hot in paradiseIT’S HOT IN PARADISE (1960) – This is a film about hot nightclub ladies and their schmoozing manager getting stuck on an uncharted island after a plane crash. They learn that a now dead mad scientist made the place his lair and his experiments spawned dog-sized spiders whose bite transforms people into half-assed human-spider creatures.

The movie was mostly about footage of beautiful women in an island setting. In 1963, all topless scenes were edited out and it was re-released as a horror schlocker titled Horrors of Spider Island. Even so, the flick was still about 95% cheesecake footage and 5% horror story. Boring-bad, not fun-bad. Continue reading

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REEL WILD CINEMA: EPISODES ELEVEN TO THIRTEEN

Balladeer’s Blog continues its look at the Forgotten Television item Reel Wild Cinema (1996-1997).

This time around it’s Episodes 11-13.

THE RUNDOWN FOR EPISODE ELEVEN (June 30th, 1996)

Title: Evil Rampaging Monsters

Truncated Films Shown:

return of majinTHE RETURN OF THE GIANT MAJIN (1966) – We fans of oddball cinema have long loved Majin, the often-ignored distant cousin of kaiju favorites like Godzilla and Gamera. Majin is a gigantic samurai statue that comes to life periodically in Japan of a few centuries back.

The setting means that instead of miniatures of tanks and cities filled with skyscrapers for the figure to rampage through, viewers get miniatures of cannons, fishing boats and towns filled with period architecture. But let’s not kid ourselves; the MAIN “So Bad It’s Good” aspect of the Majin movies is the way he literally shoots flames from his crotch for some bizarre reason. I’m not joking. Continue reading

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REEL WILD CINEMA: EPISODES EIGHT-TEN

In this installment of Balladeer’s Blog’s recurring Forgotten Television segment I continue my look at Reel Wild Cinema (1996-1997). This time around it’s Episodes 8-10.

THE RUNDOWN FOR EPISODE EIGHT (June 9th, 1996)

Title: Kids in Peril

Truncated Films Shown:

untamed furyUNTAMED FURY (1947) – A very early hicksploitation movie. This black & white movie’s stock footage is set in the swamps of the Deep South but everything else takes place on the usual cheap sets we all know and love from Producers Releasing Corporation.

As children, two swamp kids develop a rivalry over a pretty gal and over which one of them is “best” at getting dragged behind their fathers’ boats to lure out alligators for killing. Dubious honor to be fighting for. At any rate, the boy so good that he earns the nickname Gator Bait (yes, like the 1970s Claudia Jennings flick) goes off to college.

When he comes back years later, Gator Bait wants to do improvements to the swamplands to provide a better way of life for the locals. His boyhood rival in luring out alligators is opposed to the idea, as are a few other folks and conflict results. E.G. Marshall’s film debut. I’m NOT joking.      Continue reading

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REEL WILD CINEMA: EPISODES FIVE-SEVEN

Balladeer’s Blog’s Forgotten Television feature previously provided background information on Reel Wild Cinema (1996-1997) and examined its first four episodes. Now it’s on to the fifth through seventh episodes.

THE RUNDOWN FOR EPISODE FIVE (May 19th, 1996)

Title: Sci-Fi Mutant Invasion

Truncated Films Shown:

godmonster of indian flatsGODMONSTER OF INDIAN FLATS (1973) – From the maker of Alabama’s Ghost comes this tale of toxic gasses from beneath the Earth spawning a mutated sheep monster which walks erect and looks a little like Mr. Snuffleupagas and Joe Camel. The video cover looks nothing like the creature.

Some of the weirdest corporate and political conspirators that you’ll ever see combine with oddball action, a funeral for a dog that isn’t dead and the lumbering title menace for one feverish flick. On the plus side there’s a lot of interesting Nevada scenery as backdrop for the bizarre storyline.  Continue reading

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REEL WILD CINEMA: EPISODES TWO-FOUR

Balladeer’s Blog’s Forgotten Television feature provided background information on Reel Wild Cinema (1996-1997) and examined its first episode last time around. This time I’ll take a look at episodes two to four.

THE RUNDOWN FOR EPISODE TWO (April 28th, 1996)

Title: Supernatural Sirens

Truncated Films Shown:

CURSE OF THE CRYING WOMAN (1963) – The Mexican horror film about La Llorona that got U.S. distribution and half-assed dubbing via K. Gordon Murray himself. I’ve reviewed this film in detail previously so for a quick recap for newbies to this flick it’s the old ghost story about an undead woman who sheds tears from her empty eye sockets while making with withering cries.

The Crying Woman has been searching for her dead children for hundreds of years and this version of the legend added a trio of leashed, ghostly hounds to accompany her on her nocturnal hunts. Death comes to all who cross her path.

THE NAKED WITCH (1961) – For starters, this is the Larry Buchanan film, NOT the Andy Milligan Naked Witch movie from a different year. As usual for Buchanan this was filmed in Texas, and is yet another variation of the tale about a witch who gets put to death but returns a century or more later to slay all the descendants of her killers.

Viewers get a reasonably attractive woman in the lead role. She’s never naked no matter what the title says, but she does do a weird dance when not killing her victims. And that’s just part of the unintentional laughs contained in this infamous piece of schlock.  Continue reading

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REEL WILD CINEMA: EPISODE ONE (FORGOTTEN TELEVISION)

reel wild cinemaREEL WILD CINEMA (1996-1997) – This program is still beloved by us fans of Psychotronic movies and the So Bad It’s Good subculture. Reel Wild Cinema helped feed America’s growing appetite for bizarrely awful cinema, an appetite most recently whetted back then by Joel Hodgson’s Mystery Science Theater 3000.

If, like me, you also enjoyed The Incredibly Strange Film Show hosted by Jonathan Ross, Reel Wild Cinema blended elements from both shows plus all the Movie Host programs from the 1950s onward.

Reel Wild Cinema‘s 1-hour runtime wouldn’t let the creative team show and mock entire films like MST3K did, just tightly edited highlights from them, anticipating the videos of countless internet movie critics of the future. Reel Wild Cinema didn’t riff constantly on the bad movies being shown, just before and after commercial breaks like old-time Movie Host shows.

Similar to Jonathan Ross’ Incredibly Strange Film Show, Reel Wild Cinema also aired interviews with many cult figures from fringe cinema as well as campy trailers for vintage Golden Turkeys. Also like the Jonathan Ross show, Reel Wild Cinema featured an animated opening accompanied by catchy theme music. Continue reading

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