Category Archives: Movie Hosts

FRONTIER MARSHAL (1939) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

For some laughs this Frontierado Season, here’s the worst and weirdest version of Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday and the Gunfight at the OK Corral.

A movie guaranteed to contain absolutely NO accurate information.

Before MST3K we had The Texas 27 Film Vault! Before Joel and Mike we had Randy and Richard! Before Pearl and Kinga we had Laurie Savino! 

Welcome to a special Frontierado Edition of Balladeer’s Blog’s look at this neglected cult show which ran from 1985-1987, making this its FORTIETH anniversary year. 

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday, October 25th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00 am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma. 

OPENING SERIAL: An episode of Mysterious Doctor Satan (1940).

THE MOVIE: Frontier Marshal, directed by Allan Dwan, has a well-deserved reputation as the worst and weirdest cinematic depiction of the events leading up to the Gunfight at the OK Corral. Randolph Scott turns in his usual bland performance as Wyatt Earp with Cesar Romero as a very unlikely Doc Holliday.

Wyatt and Doc trying to cut the rear projection screen off at the pass.

As usual Doc steals the show from the hopelessly dull and straight-arrow Wyatt. Ward Bond shows up as a cowardly lawman, Lon Chaney, Jr plays one of Curly Bill Brocius’ thugs and Balladeer’s Blog’s old friend John Carradine is the movie’s main villain … Carter. No, not Clanton or even McLaurey but “Carter”.

Here’s just some of the hilariously distorted bits from this Parallel Universe version of the events in Tombstsone, Arizona: Continue reading

6 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, FRONTIERADO, Movie Hosts

INVADERS FROM MARS (1953) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Balladeer’s Blog continues its celebration of this 1985-1987 program’s FORTIETH anniversary year.

In the middle 1980s, way down on Level 31 Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class (EO6) hosted this neglected cult show.

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday June 7th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma. 

SERIAL: Before the movie this week, our members of the Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) showed another episode of the 1950 Columbia serial Atom Man vs Superman. Kirk Alyn starred as Superman with Lyle Talbot as his archenemy Lex Luthor aka Atom Man.

Especially laughable are the bits when Superman “flies” – an effect achieved by switching from live footage of Kirk Alyn to INSERTED CARTOON FOOTAGE of Superman flying. Think of the ‘Toons in Roger Rabbit interacting with the live backgrounds and you have the idea.

A behind the scenes photo of Laurie Savino, who held the rank of Mystery Clip Technician in the Film Vault Corps.

FILM VAULT LORE: This week Laurie Savino, who held the rank of Mystery Clip Technician in the Film Vault Corps once again presented Channel 27’s Movie Ticket Giveaway.

Correctly identifying the Mystery Clip this time around would win a few lucky viewers tickets to the upcoming release of the 1986 remake of Invaders from Mars, starring Karen Black.

HOST SEGMENTS/ COMEDY MOMENTS – According to fan Dr. Solaranite, one of the comedy bits Randy and Richard injected into the film this time involved Jimmy Hunt, who played David Maclean, the child hero of the movie.

Whenever Hunt would say something harmless like “Gee Whiz” the Film Vault Guys would bleep part of it to make it sound like the kid had said “Jesus” and was getting censored. And so it went throughout the movie. Little Jimmy – but, hilariously, NONE of the adults, would occasionally get bleeped misleadingly as if cursing like a sailor. 

That is one foul-mouthed little boy!

A word beginning with “sh” would be bleeped like Jimmy was saying “shit”, a word beginning with “f” would be bleeped like Jimmy was saying “fuck”, multi-syllable “m” words would be bleeped like he was saying “motherfucking”. It was like a more profane throwback to the old “Cleveland-style” of movie hosting, dating back to the legendary Ghoulardi (Ernie Anderson) in the 1960s.

THE MOVIE: Invaders from Mars is a very fun-bad movie complete with cheap and unconvincing 1950s special effects, stiff and unbelievable characters and a groan-inducing finale. Some elderly critics praise this movie nostalgically and try to present it as a metaphor for 1950s anti-communist paranoia, like the more-deserving Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Continue reading

2 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts

FROGS (1972) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Before MST3K we had The Texas 27 Film Vault! In the middle 1980s, way down on Level 31 Randy and Richard, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class, hosted this neglected cult show which debuted Saturday February 9th, 1985. Balladeer’s Blog continues its celebration of the program’s FORTIETH anniversary year with this schlock film set on the 4th of July. 

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday July 5th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma.

SERIAL: Before showing Frogs our members of the Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) showed an episode of the 1950 Columbia serial Atom Man vs Superman. Kirk Alyn starred as Superman with Lyle Talbot as his archenemy Lex Luthor.

Lex has his own secret identity in this serial – each episode he dons a lead mask and oversees the villainy as “Atom Man”.

HOST SEGMENTS: According to fan Gemini Jim, Randy and Richard’s interview with Sam Elliott, conducted at Ben Johnson’s ranch, was shown. Elliott was also one of the stars of Frogs

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault

THE MOVIE: Frogs was another low point in the career of Ray Milland, along with The Thing With Two Heads, shown previously on The Texas 27 Film Vault.

Pollution was to cheap monster movies of the 70s what atomic radiation was to cheap monster movies of the 50s. In other words it was the catch-all explanation for anything and everything. In this movie’s case pollution, which Ray Milland’s corporations are heavily guilty of, is to blame for wild animals (NOT just frogs, despite the movie’s title) going berserk and viciously attacking human beings.    Continue reading

16 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts

FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH PART 3-D (1982) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault! In the middle 1980s, way down on Level 31 Randy and Richard, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class hosted this neglected cult show. Balladeer’s Blog continues its celebration of the program’s 40th anniversary year.

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday February 14th, 1987 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma. 

SERIAL: None this week. The movie, Film Vault Corps comedy sketches and commercials filled up the entire two-and-a-half-hour runtime.

Randy and Richard firing their machine guns at giant rats, cellumites and other subterranean creatures.

FILM VAULT LORE: This episode marked the second time The Texas 27 Film Vault came with a warning about violent content. It was also at least the second time they riffed on a movie that was originally in 3-D. Randy and Richard did various jokes about wearing 3-D glasses and 3-D effects coming out of the screen at them as they watched the movie.

FOR A LOOK AT THE 3-D TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT POSTER (courtesy of Randy Clower) –https://glitternight.com/2013/03/18/movie-hosts-the-texas-27-film-vault-poster/  

THE MOVIE: Friday the 13th Part 3-D was the most notoriously lame sequel in the Friday the 13th film series during the 1980s. Not only was it part of the laughable 1980s attempt to revive the 3-D craze of the 1950s but it’s also infamous for its DISCO VERSION of the iconic Friday the 13th theme. However, it’s essential viewing for horror fans because it was the first time Jason Voorhees put on the hockey mask that is so closely associated with the character.  Continue reading

2 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Halloween Season, Movie Hosts

STAR SPANGLED RHYTHM (1942) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Balladeer’s Blog resumes its shoutout to the FORTIETH anniversary year of The Texas 27 Film Vault, one of the many Bad Movie Shows since the 1950s. The program debuted on Saturday February 9th, 1985. 

From cast interviews to research through very old newspapers to recollections from fans of the show, I’ve put together whatever information became available to me over the years.

Starring All Kinds of People Who Died Before Your Grandparents Were Born

MOVIE: Star Spangled Rhythm (1942)

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday July 6th, 1985 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma. Special thanks to my fellow T27FV fan Roberta for the date.

FILM VAULT LORE: With 2 1/2 hours to work with each week Randy and Richard, as machine-gun toting “Film Vault Technicians First Class (EO6)”, would usually present and mock episodes of old Republic serials, then still had time to follow that up with a bad or campy movie AND their comedy sketches.

Those sketches centered on their fictional Film Vault Corps, “the few, the proud, the sarcastic”, the men and women who “protected America’s schlock-culture heritage” in the form of the Golden Turkeys beloved by bad movie buffs. Such flicks were staples of late-night movie shows all over the country, hosted or not hosted.   

Star Spangled Rhythm was so long that, with commercials plus Randy and Richard’s comedy sketches, there was no time for a serial before the film for this episode of The Texas 27 Film Vault.

STAR SPANGLED RHYTHM was a quaint, schmaltzy, light-hearted morale booster for the United States, which at the time of its release had been involved in World War Two for less than a full year. Continue reading

4 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts

GHOSTS OF HANLEY HOUSE (1968) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

In the middle 1980s/ Way down on Level 31 …

Before MST3K we had The Texas 27 Film Vault! Before Joel and Mike we had Randy and Richard! Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of this neglected cult show from roughly February, 1985-August, 1987.

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday October 26th, 1985 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma. 

SERIAL: Before showing and mocking the movie Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, our Film Vault Technicians First Class showed and mocked a chapter of the 1940 serial Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe.

FILM VAULT LORE: Randy and Richard’s presentation of Ghosts of Hanley House has occupied a very odd niche in Movie Host trivia for quite a long time. Among people who remember The Texas 27 Film Vault this episode is famous as “the one where Psychotronic‘s Michael Weldon seems to have confused T27FV with MST3K.”

In Weldon’s 1996 book The Psychotronic Video Guide he refers to Ghosts of Hanley House as having been riffed on by the folks at Mystery Science Theater 3000. Actually MST3K NEVER showed Ghosts of Hanley House but The Texas 27 Film Vault DID.

Randy Clower and Richard Malmos of The Texas 27 Film Vault (both lower right) featured in a Movie Host article with Stella from Saturday Night Dead and Elvira.

Weldon was a fan of Movie Host shows like Ghoulardi, Zacherley, Svengoolie, Elvira and others, so it’s possible he had also sampled episodes of Randy and Richard’s show in the 80s but the subsequent years blurred his memory to the point where he confused T27FV with MST3K in this instance. It’s a very easy mistake to make given the similarities between the shows.

THE MOVIE: The Texas 27 Film Vault often presented low-budget movies that had been filmed right there in the Lone Star State. Larry Buchanan’s ouevre was covered almost in its entirety on the show as were films by Russ Marker and Hal Warren. Ghosts of Hanley House, a low-budget horror flick filmed in Victoria, TX fit right in. Continue reading

4 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts

TRUNK TO CAIRO (1966) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault

Balladeer’s Blog continues its marking of the FORTIETH year anniversary of the sadly neglected cult program The Texas 27 Film Vault. Thanks to my endless research through VERY old newspapers and other sources here’s a look at the very first bad movie offered up and mocked by Randy and Richard, our machine-gun wielding Film Vault Technicians First Class (EO6).

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday February 9th, 1985 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma.

SERIAL: There was no serial due to the length of the movie plus the Host Segments with Randy and Richard.

MOVIE: Trunk to Cairo (1966). If the only bad movie show you know is MST3K think ofOperation Double 007Danger: Death Ray and Secret Agent Superdragon

Audie Murphy, America’s most decorated soldier of World War Two, was okay in westerns or military films but he is laughable as a pseudo-suave James Bond wannabe in this flick. For starters his voice is so mild and his mannerisms so meek that he comes across like Ned Flanders: Licensed to Kill!

Menahem Golan (as in Golan-Globus Productions) directed and produced this flick that was distributed stateside by American International Pictures, so this was a royal wedding of sorts in terms of psychotronic cinema

Murphy plays Mike Merrick, a CIA agent who is assigned to work with Israel’s intelligence agency Mossad in order to infiltrate an Egyptian base. A Nazi war criminal scientist played by the very British George Sanders is working with the Egyptians to build rockets capable of wiping out Israel, Europe and the United States. Marianne Koch portrays Helga Schlieben, the scientist’s (Sanders) daughter. Continue reading

4 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts

MONSTER FROM GREEN HELL (1957) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

In the middle 1980s/ Way down on Level 31 … There was The Texas 27 Film Vault. Balladeer’s Blog continues its salute to the FORTIETH anniversary year of this neglected cult show that debuted on Saturday February 9th, 1985. 

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE FOR THIS EPISODE: Supposedly Saturday March 30th, 1985 from 10:30PM to 1:00AM. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma. 

SERIAL: Prior to showing and mocking the movie Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, the show’s machine-gun wielding “Film Vault Technicians First Class” (EO6) showed an episode of the notoriously campy sci-fi serial The Lost City (1935). That serial featured a super-scientific city lost in the middle of the African jungle plus zombified “giant” African tribesmen, ray-guns, a slinky femme fatale and a tribe of pygmies.

There’s also a Great White Hunter as the hero and a mad scientist whose inventions include a machine that turns black people into white people!

And with typically tasteless Hollywood racism, the “colorization” is considered a REWARD for tribesmen who serve the mad scientist well! All this plus BOTH William Boyds in one serial!

THE TUNNEL WITH THE MINIATURES OF FILM VAULT DOORS.

FILM VAULT LORE: One eye-catching element of The Texas 27 Film Vault was the POV shot and miniatures for the fictional Film Vault that Randy, Richard, Ken “Tex” Miller, Joe Tyler and Laurie Savino worked in.

Randy Clower was kind enough to provide me with the behind-the-scenes photo shown above right. 

THE MOVIE: Monster From Green Hell was one of the many, many “Big Bug” films of the 1950s. Most of those “bugs” on the loose were mutated to giant size by atomic radiation but in this flick it was cosmic radiation instead which was the culprit.

Two scientists at a desert testing lab featuring the WORST “paintings masquerading as scenery outside a window” in film history are launching rockets with various life forms aboard. They do that to test the effects of exposure to cosmic radiation on those life forms. One of their rockets malfunctions and crash-lands in the “Green Hell” portion of Africa after exposing its wasp passenger to cosmic rays for over 40 hours. Continue reading

6 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts

SUPERNATURAL (1933) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Before MST3K we had The Texas 27 Film Vault. Before Joel and Mike we had Randy and Richard. Before Pearl we had Laurie Savino. Before Devil Dogs, Observers and Deep 13 we had giant rats, Cellumites and Level 31.

Balladeer’s Blog continues its look at the FORTIETH ANNIVERSARY year of this neglected cult show which debuted on Saturday February 9th, 1985.

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE FOR THIS EPISODE: Supposedly Saturday April 19th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma.

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault

EXTRAS: This episode featured footage of our Film Vault Technicians First Class (EO6) Randy and Richard’s promotional appearance at Six Flags Mall in nearby Arlington, TX.

FILM VAULT LORE: One particular Host Segment featured one of the show’s behind-the- scenes people portraying Commando Cody complete with helmet and rocket pack. He was portraying the character because the Commando Cody serial Radar Men from the Moon was the current serial being shown before the movie each week on The Texas 27 Film Vault.

Since Randy Clower still outranked his co-host Richard Malmos (until a few episodes later) in the fictional Film Vault Corps (“The few, the proud, the sarcastic”) their relationship often featured the type of abusive “Host and Second Banana” dynamic like that between Dr. Morgus and his lab assistant Chopsley or Zacherle and his wife My Dear or Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank. 

At any rate this Host Segment featured “Commando Cody” befriending Randy and setting out with him for a night of partying on the town while the two leave Richard behind to do all the grub work in their barracks.

THE MOVIE:  Supernatural  starred Carole Lombard and Randolph Scott in a campy and hilariously bad story of possession. When serial murderess Ruth Rogen is executed her spirit winds up inhabiting the body of Lombard’s character Roma Courtney, a wealthy socialite.

Now in charge of Roma’s body Rogen’s evil spirit seeks revenge on the criminal accomplice who betrayed her and also seeks to live high on the hog with her possessed victim’s money. Continue reading

14 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts

THE HYPNOTIC EYE (1960) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

In the middle 1980s/ Way down on Level 31 …

Before MST3K we had The Texas 27 Film Vault! Before Joel and Mike we had Randy and Richard! Balladeer’s Blog continues its nod to this forgotten cult show’s FORTIETH Anniversary year, since it debuted Saturday February 9th, 1985.  

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday April 12th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

Broadcast throughout Texas & Oklahoma and hosted as always by our Film Vault Technicians First Class Randy and Richard. 

SERIAL: Radar Men from the Moon was the current serial being shown. This episode of The Texas 27 Film Vault featured Chapter Nine titled Battle in the Stratosphere. During the 12-week run of this serial one of the behind-the-scenes crew (no one remembers who at this point) would dress as Commando Cody, the hero of the serial, and occasionally interact with Randy and Richard during the comedy sketches. 

FILM VAULT LORE: This was supposedly the favorite episode of the Film Vault Corp’s effects man Joe Riley, which is why he used the title The Hypnotic Eye for his post-T27FV television show, episodes of which are online.

SKETCHES : This episode aired when Randy still “outranked” Richard in the Film Vault Corps and so their relationship often had the “Main Character and Abused Second Banana” vibe like with Zacherle and My Dear, or Dr. Morgus and Chopsley or Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank. (F-Troop fans might describe it as a “Sgt O’Rourke and Cpl Agarn vibe.”)

The Host Segments therefore featured Richard being subjected to the type of mutilation the hypnotized victims in The Hypnotic Eye were inflicting on themselves. Joe Riley’s special effect of Richard’s hair being set on fire was as intentionally laughable as the effect in the movie itself.

THE MOVIE: The Hypnotic Eye is one of the most beloved bad movies of the 1960s. Its hilariously campy trailer (HERE), its sinister Eurotrash villain and its Ed Wood-style police work all make it a true anti-classic. Jacques Bergerac, one-time husband of Ginger Rogers and a man whose accent makes him as hard to understand as Bela Lugosi and Arnold Schwarzeneggar, played Desmond, the magician who uses the title object to augment his hypnotic abilities to an enormous degree. Continue reading

8 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts