Category Archives: college sports

BAD MOVIE: THE CONFESSIONAL (1976)

ConfessionalTHE CONFESSIONAL (1976) – Category: The 70′s version of camp, with a premise and plot elements that would have been banned in previous decades              This outrageous and over-the-top tale from the cinematic netherworld is about a crazed, mass-murdering priest. When he listens to his parishioners confessing their sins to him in the confessional booth he decides some of them are so evil they deserve to die for their sins. 

Our protagonist commits his murders by strangling people with Rosaries, by Continue reading

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VIKINGS PRESEASON ACTIVITIES VIRTUALLY ON HOLD FOR ONE VERY SPECIAL MAN

“You shouldn’t have!” I exclaimed to the thousands of Missouri Valley College Vikings fans, coaches and student-athletes who had turned out to greet me. It was a veritable media circus what with all the television stations covering my plane landing and my ride to the MVC campus. Sports-talk radio stations were discussing one subject and one subject only: me.

After Head Football Coach Paul Troth made his welcoming speech it was my turn to speak. I choked back tears of emotion and started out by thanking everyone for bearing with me as I agonized over whether or not I would make a blog post about the preseason activities for MVC Vikings fall sports. After the usual opening blandishments I got more to the point with my comments:

“I know some people could say ‘This guy must be incredibly insecure and have a very fragile ego to want to have it stroked so frequently.’ They could say ‘He long ago robbed moments like this of even the pretext of sincerity by shedding crocodile tears at some of his previous public remarks.’ They could ask ‘How hopelessy misguided are the so-called sports media to actually think people want non-stop coverage of one egomaniac’s Hamletesque posturing’…Yes they could say all of these things and there would certainly be some truth in all of those comments.”

After making a mental note to myself to rent a pickup truck for the next public appearance I made like this (preferably one with no muffler) I got down to actually covering the story I had come to Marshall, MO to cover. 360 Missouri Valley College student-athletes had reported to campus to begin preparing for the upcoming academic and sports seasons. Every single one of them told me they were big fans of my blog, proving to me that they were even less sincere than I was.

Football, volleyball, cheerleading and both the men’s and women’s soccer teams were all on-hand and getting ready to compete. The ladies on the volleyball team start their season August 27th in the Grand View Tournament in Des Moines, IA (Tourism slogan: “Des Moines: C’mon, what’s the worst that could happen?”).  The men’s and women’s soccer teams both host their home-openers on August 31st and the football team takes it on the road against the Baker Wildcats on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, Sept 4th.

The sun was beginning to set, so it was with a renewed sense of urgency that I hit up all the head coaches for a few quotes to justify this whole trip as a business expense on my tax returns. Unfortunately on the return flight I accidentally spilled bourbon all over most of my notes. Luckily a few quotes from Head Volleyball Coach Derick White survived intact.  “I am very excited to get the 2010 season started,” he said, “We have some great freshmen and transfers to add to our mix of talented returners. We are hitting the ground running learning our system and we are looking forward to implementing it in our first weekend of play.” 

Here I am with some of the MVC Vikings whom I talked into posing as high school students so I could condescendingly make a big deal about tossing them a few footballs.

 

To find out how much the cleanup following the big welcome I got will cost the taxpayers of Marshall, MO click here: http://www.moval.edu/athletics/

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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QUICK TAKES III: THE DEATH OF MICHAEL CORLEONE

Bland Response – On August 28th the Cumberlands Patriots take on the McKendree Bearcats in the Big River Bowl. On playing a ranked team on opening weekend Patriots Head Football Coach John Bland had this to say: “We have a tough schedule to start with and only two weeks to get ready for one of the top 10 teams in the nation.” Bland’s Patriots have won back-to-back Mid-South Conference divisional titles and went on to the 2009 playoffs where they lost to the Lambuth Eagles.   

Son Of BAPSSAS – At the University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma (cool team name The Drovers) the Bill And Pat Smith Scholar Athlete Scholarship actually had two recipients this year. The first was Tashina Ototivo and now, since Bill Smith decided to sponsor another recipient, Dakota Webster, who plays for the men’s basketball team at USAO! Besides having a name cool enough to be the title of a movie, Dakota stood out with his classroom excellence (3.82 GPA), on-the-court performance (A 53.8 percent shooter) and with community work at the Special Olympics.  “It’s definitely an honor,” Webster said on finding out he was the recipient, “I was excited. It’s definitely going to help.” Webster’s a biology major who may very well be operating on some of us down the road so let’s be really really nice to him!

The Battle Of Hastings – Don’t like that title? How about “Hastings Pudding” for you Harvard alumni? No? Oh, forget it! The Hastings Broncos men’s soccer team has been picked in the coaches’ poll to win the Great Plains Athletic Conference title this season. The Broncos were 16-4-3 overall last year and 10-1-1 in conference play, taking the GPAC title. 

HSPN ZONE – While this is generally a college sports blog I also like to cover items that slip through the cultural cracks (see my pages on Navajo and Bunyoro Mythology) so this story is appropriate. HSPN is the Homeschool Sportsnet (www.HSPN.net) which is to Homeschool sports what Balladeer’s Blog tries to be for NAIA and NCAA Division 3 sports. For the 4th year HSPN will be running the National Homeschool Scoreboard, a free on-line service where teams can have their scores, schedules and stats reflected in real-time! For more details go here:   
The National Homeschool Scoreboard is now 4 Years Old 

 
It’s New Year’s In August At Saint Xavier – The SXU Cougars athletics department has launched a new website at http://www.sxucougars.com/ and their 2010-2011 athletic season begins this week! On August 21st the men’s soccer team travels to Columbia, KY to play the Lindsey-Wilson College Blue Raiders. And be sure to ring in this New Year in Cougar athletics by watching Rob Huizenga’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve on August 20th! At Midnight we’ll all gather ’round to watch another Illinois governor fall!
 
Wisconsin-Whitewater Warhawks: Why, What Wonders We’re Witnesssing! – The University of Wisconsin-Whitewater football team is coming off 5 straight Wisconsin Intercollegiate Athletic Conference titles and more importantly are the defending National Champions of NCAA Division 3. They’ve been picked to repeat in some of the preseason polls and if you know D3 football you just know the Mt Union Purple Raiders are also right near them in the rankings. Every year since 2005 the D3 Championship game has been played between those two teams when the dust settles in the playoffs. The Warhawks begin their title defense on September 4th against the Adrian College Bulldogs. Personally I wish they could play a team like the Connecticut College Camels in a game they could call The Alliteration Bowl. Too bad CC doesn’t sponsor football!
 

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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THE SWEDE LIFE

As Brent Musberger would say “You are looking live” at the 2010-2011 Cheerleading and Dance recruits for the Bethany College Swedes. The names of the ladies in this baker’s dozen are as follows:

Top Row: Brianna Hoffman, Leanna Streit, Kelsi Pomeroy, Kaila Sanders, Tessa Peters (seen here showing how tough she is by just daring motorists to hit her), Jenny Dwyer

Bottom Row: Darrian Wannow, Kira Farmer, Rhyanna Bruner, Cari Nelson, Vanessa Anderson, Lacey Jones, Jenna Rivers (seen here clutching her gunshot wound – Cheer and Dance is more dangerous than football apparently!)

Cheer and Dance fans will be delighted to hear that since more than 50 NAIA member institutions will be participating in Cheer and Dance  competition for the 2010-2011 academic year the NAIA could hold it’s first National Championship tournament for the sport as early as the spring of 2012. And with the world supposedly coming to an end later that year the winner of that championship will have all eternity to bask in that glory!

For info on filling out your 2012 bracket for the NAIA Cheer and Dance Tournament in your office pool click here: http://www.bethanyswedes.com/ 

And for more Bethany Swedes stories click below:

https://glitternight.com/2010/07/19/how-swede-it-is/

https://glitternight.com/2010/07/17/the-winner-of-the-coolest-named-sports-teams-contest-the-usao-drovers/

https://glitternight.com/2010/06/21/the-20-coolest-named-college-sports-teams-you-may-have-never-heard-of-naia-edition/

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LNN: LINDENWOOD NEWS NETWORK

 

"This is LNN"

 

When you’re a big-time, world-renowned blogger like myself, you get sports news releases in your e-mail in-box, along with the usual pro bono notifications that a bank in Nigeria needs your help in disbursing large amounts of money (easiest 2 million bucks I ever made!). Anyway, one of those releases included a veritable bonanza of information about the sports programs at Lindenwood University. Since at first glance it seemed like enough material to launch a sports network about the Lions I used that as my lame premise for this post.

*ITEM: LION-HEARTED  BILL BRITTON: HERO AT LARGE – July 26th – Bill Britton, an incoming football player for the Lions, along with his cousin Jeff, came across an overturned vehicle on Highway 100 in Missouri. Not only did they call 911 but when the vehicle burst into flames Britton, Jeff and 2 other people dragged the driver out of the vehicle to safety.  “I still do not know what to think about it,” said Britton, “…The flames were five foot high and you could hear the tires popping. It is cool though that we were in the right place to be able to help somebody out.”   In the tradition of Buford Pusser and Serpico some enterprising producer needs to turn this into a television series. Jeff would have his own spin-off series, so the show about Bill would have TV Guide entries like this: “Bill’s attempt to finish his term paper is interrupted when he is called upon to save the elderly patients at the nearby hospital from a dangerous gas leak.” or maybe “On his way to practice Bill becomes caught up in a Tri-State search for a missing toddler.” For the big season-ending clifff-hanger it could read “Bill’s budding romance with an exchange student involves him in a desperate attempt to save the staff at the International Space Station from certain doom.” I think we’ve got another Frank Merriwell on our hands here!

*ITEM: LINDENWOOD ATHLETICS TO BEGIN 2010-2011 SEASON – Following a hotly-contested vote the students and administration of Lindenwood University moved that it was, indeed, the 2010-2011 sports season. 

*ITEM:  MORE THAN 10 LIONS INDICTED – July 30th – Okay, that was just my teaser headline to get attention. In reality this story is about former Lindenwood Lions individuals and teams being inducted into the university’s Athletic Hall of Fame. (Who doesn’t love play-on-word headlines? Well, besides the people who overreacted when I ran the headline “4 Dead In Local Pre-School” instead of “4 Deer In Local Preschool”. Some people just can’t take a joke!) Inductees will be: student athletes Dawn Cameron “Swayze”, softball; Jenifer “Leave off the second N for ‘Nice'” Dykes, women’s soccer; Matt “Johns” Hopkins, men’s golf; Debbie Johnson “Is Right!”, women’s soccer; Jason “Your-cek” Micek, men’s golf;  “Dangerous” Daniel Odom, men’s basketball; “Mighty”, Michelle Patrico, softball; and Katie “Killer K.P.” Pizzardi, women’s basketball.  Also being inducted are Fern Bittner, former Director of Horsemanship; Dr Harlen C Hunter, Meritorious Service; the 1977-78 Men’s Basketball Team; the 1999-2000 women’s basketball team; the 2004 men’s soccer team and oddly enough the 1988 Notre Dame football team. Weird. The 2010 Induction Ceremony will take place Homecoming Weekend Oct 15th-16th.

* ITEM: THURSDAY NIGHT MILESTONE – The first ever Thursday night game in Lindenwood Lions football history will take place September 2nd as the Lions welcome the Evangel University Crusaders.  

*ITEM: BEDTIME FOR ZOMBO – July 14th -Former NHL Player Rick Zombo has taken over as Head Coach for the Lindenwood men’s ice hockey team. For the past 2 years Zombo has been the team’s  Top Assistant Coach and helped the Lions capture 2 straight National Championships for ice hockey. “With the increase in responsibility as head coach,” Zombo observed, ” my ambition is to make the program even stronger. We have a tremendous core of returning players that understand the difficulty of winning a title, but will cherish the process of continued success.”  

To read the coach’s annoyed reply when I asked if he was related to the Zombo character that Louis Nye portrayed on an old episode of The Munsters click here: http://www.lindenwoodlions.com/

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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DROVERS STAMPEDE THEIR WAY TO THE TOP OF THE SAC SOCCER POLL

I know David Beckham had just gotten the surprise of his life but when I spotted him I recognized an opportunity for an exclusive interview. I was determined to get his views on the University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma Drovers soccer program. I cornered him and his wife and after making a few sympathetic noises about what had just happened to him I rolled into interview mode: 
   
“So, David'” I began, “What are your views on the USAO Drovers men’s soccer team being picked to win the Sooner Athletic Conference this year?”
 
“What?…Who are you?” he asked. “Blimey” he added emphatically.
 
“Well, Dave…Can I call you ‘Dave’? They are after all the defending conference champions and went 17-2-1 overall and 8-0-1 in conference play last season.” 
   
“Why,” Beckham stated, tentatively,”I can’t believe you’re bothering me with this after what just happened to me.”
 
“If you were wondering, Dave, the placement in that preseason poll is determined by the coaches’ votes.”
 
“What are you talking about?”
 
“Were you pleased by men’s head coach Jimmy Hampton saying ‘…Preseason polls won’t win games. We are…focusing on working hard and competing hard, in order to represent USAO in the best manner we can'”?”
  
 “That’s fine, but…”
 
“And don’t forget the Drover women, Dave,” I continued, “They should be conference contenders, too, having finished third in the women’s preseason poll. They went 13-6 last year, 7-4 in the conference and they bring back the same talent from last year, but with a bit more maturity and experience.”
 
“What does any of this have to do with me?” Beckham said, irritably, but I was rolling.
 
“The Drover women play a scrimmage against Northern Junior College on August 24th and the men kick off their regular season August 31st against Hillsdale College. Isn’t that right, Dave.”
 
“I…I guess so.”
 
And that wrapped up my exclusive interview with David (“Dave” to close friends like me) Beckham on the state of Drovers soccer. Now I just have to sit back and wait to hear from the Pulitzer Committee.
To read my interview with Posh Spice about her views on Non-Euclidian Geometry click here: http://www.usao.edu/usao-sports/
 
For more USAO Drovers stories click the links below:
 
 

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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QUICK TAKES – VARIETY PACK STYLE

Guilt By Association –  The Saint Ambrose Fighting Bees were picked to come in second in The Association’s Midwest League in the Conference’s football preseason poll (They were tied for second with the Grand View Vikings). The McKendree Bearcats were picked to repeat as Midwest League champs. St Ambrose kicks off its 2010 season at the Trinity International Trojans on Sept 4th.

This Crew Is Anything But Motley – Rob Weber, head rowing coach for the Franklin and Marshall Diplomats, announced this week that three-year veterans Brittany George and Ho Hong Lau (better known as the Kobe and LeBron of Men’s Crew) were elected captains of their respective teams by their teammates. Forget what’s going on with the Miami Heat this year, B.G. and Double-H are the combo to watch!

If You’ve Got Half A Mind To Run A Marathon – The Lewis-Clark State Warriors are hosting the Clearwater Half-Marathon on August 21st. The year has yet to be announced. (I’m kidding! The year will be 1973) The event raises money for the Warriors’ athletic department and cross-country program. Lewis-Clark State is located in Lewiston, ID and that city’s Chamber of Commerce is located near Hell’s Canyon! Not since Elvis Presley sang the eminently forgettable song “Compliments Of Fort Lauderdale Chamber Of Commerce” has a Chamber of Commerce been linked to something this cool! They should call themselves The Hell’s Canyon Gang just to scare the crap out of the tourists!

USF Pulls In A Quixotic Quintet – Jed “J-Stu” Stugart, the new head football coach for the Sioux Falls Cougars, announced the latest additions to his coaching staff. Isaiah Jackson, former South Dakota State Jackrabbit, Lee Marks, former Boise State Bronco and Zach Dickson, fresh from 7 years with the Colorado Buffalo football program. Also added to J-Stu’s coaching staff were Lavell Jackson, defensive back coach and Dusty Hovorka, International Man Of Mystery!

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MCDANIEL COLLEGE: IT’S NOT JUST FOR TRAPPIST MONKS ANYMORE!

At McDaniel College, where the sports teams are called The Green Terror (Pretty cool, eh?), both the men’s and the women’s swim teams were honored recently. The College Swimming Coaches Association of America put both teams on their 2010 All-Academic Squads. The Green Terror women had an average team GPA of 3.57 and the men’s team had an average team GPA of 3.05.   Swimmer Rachel Walega was singled out for academic accolades by the organization.

To find out how many members of the swim team have taken a vow of silence click here: http://www.mcdanielathletics.com/landing/index

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 
© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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THERE’S A NEW INTERIM TOP GUN FOR GRENADIER SPORTS

Assistant Athletic Director Joe Glover has been named Interim Athletic Director for the Indiana University Southeast Grenadiers following the resignation of Pat Mrozowski, who resigned to become the athletic director at Brescia University in Owensboro, KY.  

Glover is a native of the Grenadiers’ home of New Albany, IN (Shows you how out of touch I am. I’ve never even been to Albany, NY and already there’s a NEW Albany) and has been with the IUS athletic department since July of 2005. During his time with the Grenadiers he has been responsible for marketing, facility scheduling and media relations.

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“DON’T (MESS) WITH ME, FELLAS! IT AIN’T MY FIRST TIME AT THE RODEO!”

 

With the Frontierado holiday coming up this Friday I figured what better time to focus on the neglected topic of college rodeo. Most of the schools that offered this sport have either dropped it completely or at the least lowered it from the level of intercollegiate competition to a club sport. Rogers State University in Oklahoma is one of  the latter. 

To get the inside story on the state of Hillcats rodeo I arranged to speak with Wren Baker, the Director of Athletics at Rogers State. I mosied on over to Claremore, OK, checked in at the Sagebrush Saga Saloon (signing in under the name The Bronson Canyon Kid…bad movie fans will get it) and grabbed a table. As I sat there drinking my Cactus Jack  and brandishing my six-gun I noticed two steely-eyed Okies approaching my table. I holstered my piece and asked the two of them if they knew how to play Frontierado Poker.

The older of the two admitted he didn’t and the younger one grimaced before saying:

“Isn’t that the game made up by some blogger to go along with his personal holiday? The whole thing doesn’t even rise to the pedestrian level of an A.R.G. Don’t be suckered in by on-line Tomfoolery, friend. Just ignore the whole thing and focus on Festivus instead.” 

I thanked the gentleman, who introduced himself as Kid Lohengrin (he named himself after his favorite opera), and was about to offer up a spirited defense of Frontierado when I noticed Wren Baker pushing through the swing doors into the Sagebrush Saga Saloon. He joined me at my table and after exchanging a few pleasantries we got down to business. 

I asked if he wanted me to refer to him as “Wrowdy Wren” in the article but he just rolled his eyes. Taking that as a “yes” I dove into interview mode:

Bronson Canyon Kid: How long had Rogers State had a rodeo program at the intercollegiate level prior to the decision to drop it to club level?

Wren Baker: The team started as a club sport around 2001.  We sponsored rodeo as an intercollegiate sport from 2006-2010.  

BCK: What caused rodeo to be dropped back to club level at Rogers State? Was it just the expense or was it an overall decline in interest?

WB: It was more of a financial decision.  Like many states, Oklahoma’s economy is struggling and our state appropriations have been down.  Our Board of Regents asked us to look at high cost initiatives across campus.  When we looked at rodeo, our per student expenditures were pretty high.  Many rodeo programs have up to 100 students involved with the team.  At RSU we’ve never had more than 20.  I think much of that is because we do not have agriculture degree programs.  The athletic department forwarded our costs on to the President and Board of Regents and the decision was made to compete as a club program.    

BCK: Do you know how many colleges still offer rodeo as an intercollegiate sport?

WB: I don’t know the number.  I would guess that it isn’t incredibly high.  Since neither the NAIA or NCAA sanction rodeo as an official sport, many schools decide not to field a team.  Rodeo is sanctioned by NIRA.  Of the schools who field a rodeo team, I believe well over half are ‘club’ teams.   

BCK: What do you look for when recruiting for a rodeo team?

WB: I think it is very similar to other sports.  We look for a highly motivated individual who works hard at their sport and also in the classroom.  Rodeo participants usually specialize in one or two events so recruiting often will be focused on the events where the school has the greatest need.  

BCK: Do you label rodeo team participants according to a “position” or according to the activity they participate in?

WB: Each participant competes in certain events so to a degree yes.  You may have a goat tyer or barrel racer, team roper or bullrider.  However, many times a participant will enter in more than one event.

BCK: What does a typical practice for a rodeo team consist of?

WB: Our team practices 3 days per week.  They will usually practice each of their events.  Roughstock riders (bullriders and bronc riders) usually have to go practice with other riders at a neutral location.

BCK: Among the Rogers State Hillcats rodeo team’s past accomplishments what are you proudesst of?

WB: I think we are most proud of the students that have earned their degree and the students who have qualified for the national finals.

As nice a response as that is I was hoping he would say it was when the Hillcats were the host school for the Clem McSpadden Memorial College Rodeo at the Claremore Expo in 2009. McSpadden was a grand-nephew of Will Rogers and the name “Clem” has such a cool western air about it I wanted to be sure to include it in this post.   

The interview was now winding down so I sprinkled in a few non-sports questions. Baker stated his greatest non-sports passion was working in his yard or spending time at the lake. He told me his favorite television Western was Bonanza so I asked him to sing the theme song. He declined so I pointed out how odd it was that Ben Cartwright had one son and one son only with three different wives. I told him a perfect tag line for the series would have been “Ben Cartwright: He mates; he kills.”

Wren laughed politely, wished me a Happy Frontierado and glided out of the saloon. I resisted the urge to follow after him shouting “Shaaaaane! Come back, Shaaaaane!”, paid my bar tab and went upstairs to my room.

To see photos of the aftermath of my brawl at the Sagebrush Saga Saloon click here: http://rsuhillcats.com/

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or any member institutions. 
© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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