Category Archives: Bad and weird movies

SUPERNATURAL (1933) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Before MST3K we had The Texas 27 Film Vault. Before Joel and Mike we had Randy and Richard. Before Pearl we had Laurie Savino. Before Devil Dogs, Observers and Deep 13 we had giant rats, Cellumites and Level 31.

Balladeer’s Blog continues its look at the FORTIETH ANNIVERSARY year of this neglected cult show which debuted on Saturday February 9th, 1985.

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE FOR THIS EPISODE: Supposedly Saturday April 19th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma.

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault

EXTRAS: This episode featured footage of our Film Vault Technicians First Class (EO6) Randy and Richard’s promotional appearance at Six Flags Mall in nearby Arlington, TX.

FILM VAULT LORE: One particular Host Segment featured one of the show’s behind-the- scenes people portraying Commando Cody complete with helmet and rocket pack. He was portraying the character because the Commando Cody serial Radar Men from the Moon was the current serial being shown before the movie each week on The Texas 27 Film Vault.

Since Randy Clower still outranked his co-host Richard Malmos (until a few episodes later) in the fictional Film Vault Corps (“The few, the proud, the sarcastic”) their relationship often featured the type of abusive “Host and Second Banana” dynamic like that between Dr. Morgus and his lab assistant Chopsley or Zacherle and his wife My Dear or Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank. 

At any rate this Host Segment featured “Commando Cody” befriending Randy and setting out with him for a night of partying on the town while the two leave Richard behind to do all the grub work in their barracks.

THE MOVIE:  Supernatural  starred Carole Lombard and Randolph Scott in a campy and hilariously bad story of possession. When serial murderess Ruth Rogen is executed her spirit winds up inhabiting the body of Lombard’s character Roma Courtney, a wealthy socialite.

Now in charge of Roma’s body Rogen’s evil spirit seeks revenge on the criminal accomplice who betrayed her and also seeks to live high on the hog with her possessed victim’s money. Continue reading

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PSYCHOTRONIC: MICHAEL WELDON’S LEGACY

Some readers have been asking what I mean by my frequently used term “Psychotronic movies”. It’s a nice reminder that not everyone is as immersed as people like me are in Bad and Weird Movie Culture.

Psychotronic Video started in 1980 as a fanzine published and written by Cleveland record store employee Michael Weldon, who wrote film criticism on the side. The publication dealt with the kind of movies that seldom got mainstream attention back then, like extreme horror, exploitation films, bloody action movies, superannuated black & white sci-fi and monster flicks, and so on. 

It was perfect timing as video stores increased in number nearly every year of the 1980s, so the reviews, articles and interviews in Psychotronic Video appealed to more and more readers since they could now rent those films from their local video stores. Movies formerly seen only by going to arthouse theaters or rundown Grindhouse theaters or fringe Drive-Ins were now available to watch in the safety of one’s own home.    Continue reading

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SUPERMAN: THE MUSICAL (1975)

supe musicalIT’S A BIRD … IT’S A PLANE … IT’S SUPERMAN! (1975) – It’s the bomb that asks the musical question “How many Lembecks can you handle?” Even the most die-hard Superman fans would have a hard time forcing themselves to watch all of this made for tv movie version of the 1966 stage musical.

The needlessly awkward title is a viewer’s first hint that this cringe-inducing production will fail to live up to its potential. The second hint comes in the form of the distractingly cheap illustrated backdrops in every scene. Even Donny and Marie would have nixed those sets.

superman musical tv adDespite music by Charles Strouse, lyrics by Lee Adams and script by David Newman & Robert Benton this Superman musical was Broadway’s biggest flop in history as of the 1960s. It’s no great shakes in its televised form, either.

An early song, titled We Need Him, is actually pretty catchy and had me hoping for something halfway decent. Unfortunately most of the other songs are weak at best and annoying at worst. You’ve Got Possibilities and Ooh, Do You Love You are the only other standouts.  

Some of the comedy bits are reminiscent of the intentional camp of the 1960s Batman tv series, except for very seldom being actually funny. Only a few of the jokes land, but the failings of the songs and comedy bits are not the fault of the cast members, who try very hard and who have proven themselves in many other productions.  Continue reading

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THE HYPNOTIC EYE (1960) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

In the middle 1980s/ Way down on Level 31 …

Before MST3K we had The Texas 27 Film Vault! Before Joel and Mike we had Randy and Richard! Balladeer’s Blog continues its nod to this forgotten cult show’s FORTIETH Anniversary year, since it debuted Saturday February 9th, 1985.  

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday April 12th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

Broadcast throughout Texas & Oklahoma and hosted as always by our Film Vault Technicians First Class Randy and Richard. 

SERIAL: Radar Men from the Moon was the current serial being shown. This episode of The Texas 27 Film Vault featured Chapter Nine titled Battle in the Stratosphere. During the 12-week run of this serial one of the behind-the-scenes crew (no one remembers who at this point) would dress as Commando Cody, the hero of the serial, and occasionally interact with Randy and Richard during the comedy sketches. 

FILM VAULT LORE: This was supposedly the favorite episode of the Film Vault Corp’s effects man Joe Riley, which is why he used the title The Hypnotic Eye for his post-T27FV television show, episodes of which are online.

SKETCHES : This episode aired when Randy still “outranked” Richard in the Film Vault Corps and so their relationship often had the “Main Character and Abused Second Banana” vibe like with Zacherle and My Dear, or Dr. Morgus and Chopsley or Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank. (F-Troop fans might describe it as a “Sgt O’Rourke and Cpl Agarn vibe.”)

The Host Segments therefore featured Richard being subjected to the type of mutilation the hypnotized victims in The Hypnotic Eye were inflicting on themselves. Joe Riley’s special effect of Richard’s hair being set on fire was as intentionally laughable as the effect in the movie itself.

THE MOVIE: The Hypnotic Eye is one of the most beloved bad movies of the 1960s. Its hilariously campy trailer (HERE), its sinister Eurotrash villain and its Ed Wood-style police work all make it a true anti-classic. Jacques Bergerac, one-time husband of Ginger Rogers and a man whose accent makes him as hard to understand as Bela Lugosi and Arnold Schwarzeneggar, played Desmond, the magician who uses the title object to augment his hypnotic abilities to an enormous degree. Continue reading

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SCREAMBOOK (1984) BAD MOVIE REVIEW

SCREAMBOOK (1984) – Ever see a feature length horror film written, produced and directed by a 13-year-old? And with nearly all the roles – of all ages – played by fellow teenagers? Obviously, I’ll be grading this flick on a curve in this review.

This anthology movie was the very first product of the legendary “horror himbo” Joe Zaso. Not Zasa like in Godfather III, but Zaso. An enterprising teenager in the 1980s, Zaso formed his first production company at age 16 and is to this day active in the film industry.     

Joe is also a bodybuilder and keeps himself in top condition which is how he acquired the “himbo” nickname over the decades. His productions are still unpretentious B-movies but this review deals with his very primitive first effort, so as I mentioned above, it’s not fair to look at it like it was a professional piece of work.  Continue reading

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HIGH SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL (1958) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Randy Clower and Richard Malmos of The Texas 27 Film Vault (both lower right) featured in a Movie Host article with Stella from Saturday Night Dead and Elvira.

Before MST3K we had The Texas 27 Film Vault! Balladeer’s Blog continues its FORTIETH ANNIVERSARY YEAR look at this neglected cult show that debuted February 9th, 1985.

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday September 7th, 1985 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma.

SERIAL: Before the movie our Film Vault Technicians First Class showed and mocked a chapter of Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe (1940).

FILM VAULT LORE: Randy Clower at E-Gor’s site on Texas 27 Film Vault groupies: “We were a bit wild during that time and having a cult show on late at night opened a few doors around the Dallas area which we were all more than willing to go through and explore.”

High School Confidential

THE MOVIE: High School Confidential has a well-deserved reputation as one of the campiest Juvenile Delinquency films of the 50s and 60s. Some of the fun comes from the hilariously heavy-handed anti-marijuana messages sprinkled throughout the movie, most of them delivered by some of the stiffest adults imaginable. Seriously, the grown-ups in this movie are so uptight they make Dragnet‘s Joe Friday seem like Elvis Presley.

Jerry Lee Lewis performs the opening song on the back of a flat-bed truck. Even if you’ve never watched this film you have probably seen the footage of this iconic performance by Lewis. Continue reading

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THE DEATHMASTER (1972) BAD MOVIE REVIEW

Death MasterTHE DEATHMASTER (1972) – In between his pair of movies as the vampire named Count Yorga the one and only Robert Quarry starred as a vampiric Charles Manson wannabe in this film. The Deathmaster starts out with a great bit that wouldn’t look out of place in a Jean Rollin horror flick from France: the huge, hulking Barbado (Le Sesne Hilton) plays eerie flute music, seemingly luring ashore a sea-tossed coffin. This casket holds our “Deathmaster” – a vampire called Khorda.

Unfortunately it’s all downhill from there unless you’re like me and you really enjoy bad movies. Khorda eschews the usual vampire shtick of being a suave ladies’ man. His approach is to dress like early 1970s hippies do and model his coiffure and facial hair after Charles Manson. The filmmakers even admitted that was indeed the look they were going for.

Khorda feeds on assorted Californians while spending his spare time gathering around him a collection of 1960s losers and retreads plus some biker gang members just for good measure. Our undead heavy becomes their guru, spouting the type of generic, faddish spiritual nonsense that is always a good way to sound deep while not really saying anything at all.     Continue reading

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INVASION USA (1952) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Balladeer’s Blog continues its marking of the FORTIETH anniversary year of the neglected cult show The Texas 27 Film Vault, which debuted on February 9th, 1985.

In the middle 1980s, way down on Level 31 Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class, hosted the program. 

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday September 28th, 1985 from 10:30pm to 1:00 am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma. 

SERIAL:  Before showing and mocking the movie our members of the Film Vault Corps showed and mocked a chapter of Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe (1940).

In that serial Ming the Merciless unleashes a disease called the Purple Death on Earth, prompting Flash Gordon, Dale Arden and Dr Zarkov to fly to the planet Mongo to find a cure and defeat Ming for good. 

FILM VAULT LORE: Fellow Film Vault fan Doctor X-Rae (a lady, hence the spelling) informed me that this 1952 film was shown by our boys as part of a promotional give-away of tickets to the Chuck Norris movie Invasion USA which was hitting theaters back then. This would have been similar to the ticket give-away a few months earlier to the 1985 Godzilla remake, for which Randy and Richard showed King Kong vs Godzilla (1962). 

HOST SEGMENTS: Some potential dispute here. Dr X-Rae thinks that this was the episode that showed Randy and Richard seeming to quit the Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) and through an oddball series of events, winding up in front of a firing squad … and getting shot! 

It all turns out to be a dream – see my interview with Randy Clower for details. This would all tie in with the “it’s only a dream” style ending of Invasion USA (1952 version) but there’s no hard and fast rule that the Host Segments HAD to parallel the night’s movie. Randy himself is unable to help as he doesn’t recall either way. 

THE MOVIE: Invasion USA presented a hypothetical invasion of the United States by the Soviet Union. Well, technically the invading nation goes unnamed but with their soldiers’ Boris Badunov accents it’s no real secret who it’s supposed to be. Continue reading

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BLOOD BEACH (1980) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 as they host their 1985-1987 show The Texas 27 Film Vault.

In the middle 1980s/ Way down on Level 31 …

Balladeer’s Blog continues its marking of the FORTIETH ANNIVERSARY year of The Texas 27 Film Vault, which debuted on February 9th of 1985. (MST3K debuted on November 24th of 1988.) 

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday February 22nd, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma. 

SERIAL: Before showing and mocking the movie machine-gun toting Randy and Richard, as members of the fictional Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) showed and mocked another chapter of the Republic Serial Radar Men from the Moon (1952).

FILM VAULT LORE: Our Film Vault Technicians First Class would pull the usual Movie Host duties like providing background info on the films and serials, and would also do comedy sketches centered around their fictional Film Vault Corps before and after commercials. They protected their duty station from menaces like giant rats, cellumites, a subterranean race of Drones and other threats. 

That duty station – Level 31, Core 27 of the Film Vault System was accessed via an industrial park behind KDFI Channel 27’s headquarters off Highway 183 near Dallas. The show was directed by Karl Newman, who often good-naturedly bemoaned Randy and Richard’s tendency to ad-lib. Sometimes in print interviews Newman would joke that if they used a script they would need far too many takes for Clower and Malmos to read their lines right, hence the ad-libbing.

THE MOVIE: Blood Beach (1980) was one of the least effective horror films of the 1980s. It had a half-decent premise – a monster beneath the sand at a California beach sucking victims down into its hellish maw – but squandered that premise with incredibly slow pacing.

The inane dialogue spouted by the annoying characters didn’t help matters.  Continue reading

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PSYCHOTRONIC BIKER FILMS

Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at some of the most Psychotronic biker movies of all time in all their weird glory. 

WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS (1971) – You just knew this was the movie I would start with. A biker gang hassles a group of Satanists in the usual biker way in films. The Satanists get revenge by cursing some of the bikers to start turning into werewolves and preying on the others. 

Werewolves on Wheels gets worse as it goes along and degenerates into a VERY weird acid trip of a horror movie before completely collapsing in its final minutes. Severn Darden plays the lead Satanist and the biker gang “boasts” Barry “Eve of Destruction” Maguire and Billy “Father Knows Best” Gray among its members.

WARNING: BIZARRE, TRANSGRESSIVE AND TASTELESS THEMES AWAIT BELOW. Continue reading

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