BE YOUR OWN TRAFFIC POLICEMAN (1958) – I’ve been meaning to review more short subjects ever since I started writing Balladeer’s Blog in June of 2010. With all the other topics I cover I’ve only reviewed two short educational films so far: A Metric America, about how 1980’s America was going to be completely converted to the metric system, and The Energy Carol, a Canadian short about energy conservation adapted to fit the structure of A Christmas Carol.
Both of those reviews can be found on my Bad Movie page, and I’ll be reviewing plenty more short subjects in the very near future. For today I’ll examine Be Your Own Traffic Policeman, an educational short about pedestrian safety. This little honey clocks in at barely 10 minutes and was produced by Portafilms, an outfit that was neither as prolific nor as enjoyably frantic as, say, Sid Davis or Dick Wayman. When Davis or Wayman clubbed you over the head with a message you were laughing far too much to mind.
This traffic safety short is narrated and hosted by Officer Maxwell, known to all of us bad safety short fans from Helping Johnny Remember and Holiday From Rules. Officer Maxwell is accompanied by two children who mindlessly agree with everything he says, obviously fearing for their lives from the unintentionally sinister-seeming Maxwell. After all, at any moment he may take out his silver hammer and bring it down on their heads.(rimshot)
Since adults can’t always be around when children need to cross the street Officer Maxwell preaches his OWN brand of vigilante law enforcement: “Boys and girls who want to be considerate of others and avoid getting hurt must learn to be their own traffic policeman.” You’re never too young to learn that harsh but time-proven fact of life, I guess.
Anyway that lesson is conveyed by cartoons that feature blobs which are barely discernible as kids and cars. Whenever the cartoon children with large, mutated heads (clearly this is a post-nuclear war world) doltishly try to jaywalk, skate on the street or other assorted traffic faux pas an equally large-headed traffic policeman appears to them and hollers at them to wise up and obey traffic rules.
I’m guessing that Be Your Own Traffic Policeman was followed by Be Your Own Vice Cop and Be Your Own Nuclear Safety Inspector.
FOR MORE BAD MOVIE REVIEWS CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/
© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Balladeer's Blog 
The nuclear safety inspector joke made me laugh so hard
Ha! Thanks for letting me know!
Your movie reviews are my favorite part of your blog!
Thanks for saying so!
ur rivus r so funny! I love this traffic short 2
Thank you very much for saying so!
Excellent blog post! Officer Maxwell sounds pretty creepy.
Yes, but unintentionally so!
A hit, dude! Keep the shorts coming!
I’ll do everything but eat them!
Yay! I was hoping you’d start doing shorts!
I did two more on my Thanksgiving Day post if you’re interested.
Very funny! u should do a list of ur favorite shorts.
Thanks! I just may!
Be ur own nuclear safety inspector! lol
Glad you liked that!
omg this is so funny!
Thanks for saying so!
Very funny! Officer Mawell is an asshole.
Who could argue with that?
omg luved how funny this was. Officer Maxwell sounds like pure nightmare material
Thanks! Pretty much!
omg I lmao over this! Maxwell stay away from me!
Ha! Good thinking! Thanks for the kind words!
This was very funny! Can’t wait for more shorts
Thank you! More are coming!
rotfl This made my day! Officer Maxwell is spooky!
Glad to hear it! Thanks!
It is so much fun coming here and reading these reviews! Even when its not horror films u still make it funny!
It’s nice of you to say that!
Officer Maxwell’s methodsa re pretty silly
Yes, they certainly are!
Officer Maxwell and his silver hammer are pretty dam hilarious
Thank you!
I absolutely love your blog. You have such a sexy sense of humor!
Thank you! THat’s nice of you!