Previously, Balladeer’s Blog reviewed various examples of Bruceploitation Movies, that odd subgenre full of martial arts spectacles exploiting and otherwise trying to cash in on the explosion of popularity in kung-fu films that the real Bruce Lee brought to the west.
I examined The Clones of Bruce Lee, about three clones made from the dead Bruce’s cell samples; The Dragon Lives Again, about Bruce fighting his way back from the Afterlife; and Fist of Fear, Touch of Death, in which a tournament to crown Lee’s successor features moves like tearing out your opponent’s eyeballs in what the film calls “a dazzling piece of showmanship.”
Here are some more of the weirdest, most bottom of the barrel Bruceploitation productions ever made.
BRUCE, KUNG FU GIRLS (1977) – Also released as Bruce’s Angels, Bruce Lee’s Kung Fu Girls and several other titles, but I have a soft spot for this more inane title selection. I really hope that movies titled Bruce, Gone with the Wind; Bruce, Whose Life is it Anyway? and Bruce, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues also exist. But as we’ve established, I’m kind of weird.
Taiwan’s Sweetheart Polly Shang Kwan stars as Polly, who works as a martial arts instructor at a health resort. When her police superintendent uncle is at wit’s end dealing with the reign of terror of a criminal who can turn invisible, Polly gets called in to help the force take him down.
Bruce, Polly has her four best female students join her in this elite crimefighting unit as she romances the young scientist who made the stolen invisibility formula, lip-synchs (horribly) to a pop song and guards a moon rock so that it doesn’t get stolen. Bruce, this flick is a head-shaker. Continue reading
DEADBEAT AT DAWN (1988) – Four years in the making, Deadbeat at Dawn is rightfully called America’s Street Fighter – as in 
Audiences not only wince at the violence in Deadbeat at Dawn, they thrill to the stunts that Van Bebber and his collaborators were able to pull off without the benefit of professional stuntmen or fight choreographers. 
GIANT OF THE EVIL ISLAND (1965) – Also released as The Mystery of the Evil Island, this film starred Mission: Impossible‘s Peter Lupus going by the name Rock Stevens. After mild success in a few Italian peplums, Lupus got his one and only swashbuckler movie with this little honey. 
Pedro’s predecessor as captain of his ship has retired after a career of fruitlessly trying to nab the pirate Moloch. Newly arrived Captain Valverde meets cute with the local governor’s daughter Bianca (Dina DeSantis) and the two fall in “love.” 
TOWING (1978) – How obscure is this flick? As of this writing there are only 2 user reviews of it at IMDb. That actually makes Towing better known than some of the other flicks I’ve reviewed here at Balladeer’s Blog, but the fact that Joe Mantegna, Sue Lyon, Dennis Franz, Mike Nussbaum, Jennifer Ashley and J.J. Johnston are in this movie make it worth examining. 
Towing is about that period in the 1970s when Chicago tow-truck operators scandalously began towing vehicles out of parking lots based on VERY questionable grounds of being in violation of city regulations. The sleazy towing companies would charge the vehicle owners much larger than reasonable fees to get them back. 
WAR OF THE WORLDS (2025) – A new chapter has been added to the history of H.G. Wells adaptations. Ice Cube stars in Amazon’s feature-length product placement for itself. In a moment of Cosmic Comedy, Amazon straight-facedly attached the tagline “It’s worse than you think” to this flick.
Ice Cube Makes Faces should have been this thing’s title, since he does nothing but sit in a chair exercising his facial muscles while spending face time with us and absurdly playing his Big Brother Will Protect You role to the hilt. And lest you fear that this adaptation will be less than faithful to the source material, the filmmakers even included the part where one of H.G. Wells’ characters says “Get your skinny ass over there!”
YANKEE BUCCANEER (1952) – An enjoyable movie but one which throws history out the window in the mind-boggling way that only Hollywood could manage! The real-life American naval heroes David Porter (Jeff Chandler) and David Farragut (Scott Brady) are presented fighting Caribbean pirates during the early 1820s. 
Our heroes become romantic rivals for Countess Margarita La Raguna (Suzan Ball, Lucille’s cousin) as the movie ignores the fascinating REAL relationships between the Porter and Farragut families. Still, Yankee Buccaneer is fun, and naturally the good guys win. David Janssen, Michael Ansara and Tonto himself, Jay Silverheels, co-star. 86 minutes.
Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault, which debuted on February 9th, 1985. 
GARTER COLT (1968) – Previously, I reviewed the Spaghetti Western 
And naturally the low-cut outfits worn by Lulu and supporting character Rosy (Marisa Solinas) allow for additional alluring shots. 
Our story is set in 1867 as Mexican rebels are on the verge of overthrowing and executing Emperor Maximilian, the Austrian dictator imposed on them by Napoleon the Third while America was too busy with its Civil War to be able to enforce the Monroe Doctrine. Other Spaghetti Westerns, like 
Richard Denning is best remembered as the relentlessly affable Governor Paul Jameson on the original Hawaii 5-0 series. He made 74 appearances on that cop show but had previously filled starring roles in other television programs like Mr. and Mrs. North, The Flying Doctor, Michael Shayne and Karen. 
UNKNOWN ISLAND (1948) 
SEA DEVILS (1953) – As England and other nations battle France in 1800, English Captain Gilliatt (Rock Hudson) has abandoned his career as a fisherman to become a smuggler. He excels at the task and over the past few years he and his ship the Sea Devil have gained quite a reputation. 
Amid much swordplay and other action during frequent trips across the Channel, Gilliatt struggles to keep her alive and understand the motives of this beautiful woman with whom he has fallen in love. 
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