Time for another musical shoutout from Balladeer’s Blog. This one goes out to the Greg Kihn Band and The Breakup Song aka They Don’t Write Like That Anymore.
Tag Archives: Balladeer’s Blog
FILMMAKER NEIL BREEN: HE’S TOMMY WISEAU TIMES FOUR!
Here at Balladeer’s Blog my love of enjoyably bad movies has been well established. You can count me as one of the many “Human Breens” as fans of filmmaker Neil Breen are called.
Neil Breen (PBUH) started out as an architect and realtor with minor show-biz dabblings as a dancer in Madonna’s Vogue video and as a cop in Scream. Years later Breen surfaced once again in the entertainment world, this time as an independent filmmaker.
As with the best of the bad auteurs Neil churns out productions that are uniquely his own. There is no mistaking a Neil Breen film with a film made by anyone else. Picture The Room’s Tommy Wiseau trying to make a David Lynch movie. But with a LOT more needless violence against laptop computers.
Read on for a look at the first four examples of Breen Cinema.
DOUBLE DOWN (2005) – Neil Breen starred, wrote and directed this movie – and quite obviously he or an associate even wrote the IMDb description of the plot. That description calls Double Down “an edgy action thriller,” which would certainly come as a surprise to anyone who has actually SEEN the film.
Double Down set the pattern for all things Breen, which is to say it redefines Vanity Projects AND Mary Sue-ing. He casts himself as (insert some sort of human or superhuman paragon here) who (engages in some sort of activity) while looking down on everyone else with a judgmental air of disapproval and ennui. And needless to say, he’s the BEST at looking down on everyone else with a judgmental air of disapproval and ennui. (Sure, but can he climb anything?). Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
CCCAA COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS
*** CCCAA ***
NUMBER TWO HAD A CLOSE CALL – After a blowout win to start the season the 2nd ranked AMERICAN RIVER COLLEGE BEAVERS barely survived this time around against the MODESTO COLLEGE PIRATES. The Beavers held a 20-14 lead at Halftime and a 34-28 edge to end the 3rd Quarter. The Pirates tied things up at 42-42 by the end of the 4th Quarter. The first Overtime ended in a 49-49 tie with American River College emerging with a 55-49 victory in the 2nd OT. (* Thank you to C.O. for catching an error I made in this post. It is now corrected.)
DONS ON THE ROAD – The SANTA ANA COLLEGE DONS (as in Old California Dons) traveled to face the CITRUS COLLEGE OWLS on Saturday. The 1st Quarter ended in a 7-7 tie but the Owls grabbed a 14-10 lead by the break. Neither team scored in the 3rd Quarter and in the 4th the Dons proceeded to notch a 17-14 come from behind win on the road.
WE WENT TO A FOOTBALL GAME BUT A POLO MATCH BROKE OUT – This game pitted the COLLEGE OF THE REDWOODS CORSAIRS against the home-standing GAVILAN COLLEGE RAMS. Neither team scored in the opening Quarter and the score was knotted up at 6-6 at the Half. The 3rd Quarter ended with the Rams on top 9-6 but the 4th Quarter saw the Corsairs put up 8 points for a 14-9 Polo Score triumph. Continue reading
Filed under college football
THE KINKS: DESTROYER
Balladeer’s Blog’s “Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead” features the Kinks song Destroyer often called Paranoia the Destroyer.
Filed under opinion
NJCAA COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS: WEEK THREE
*** HEADLINES ***
DOWN GOES NUMBER THREE – The INDEPENDENCE COLLEGE PIRATES welcomed the defending National Champions – the number 3 GARDEN CITY COLLEGE BRONCBUSTERS. The score was tied at 14-14 by Halftime but from there the Pirates outscored the Broncbusters 13-9 to pull off a nation-shaking 27-23 upset.
NINETY-ONE – The storied HUTCHINSON COLLEGE BLUE DRAGONS improved to 2-1, bouncing back from last week’s loss to Iowa Western. The REZOLUTION (sic) ACADEMY WILDCATS were on hand for the Blue Dragons to take out their anger on. The Wildcats may want to just burn the game film for this laugher since Hutchinson College eviscerated them NINETY-ONE to NOTHING!
VICTORIOUS VERMILION – The VERMILION COLLEGE IRONMEN took the field against the MINNESOTA TECH SPARTANS on Saturday. The Ironmen trailed the Spartans 7-0 after 1 Quarter of play but knotted things up at 7-7 by the break. The 3rd Quarter ended with Vermilion College on top 14-7 and from there the Ironmen won it 28-7. Continue reading
Filed under college football
BAD MOVIES FOR BACK-TO-SCHOOL
What better way to mark the return of the school year than with the absurdity of those over-the- top Juvenile Delinquent films of the 1950s and 1960s?
HIGH SCHOOL CAESAR (1960) – John Ashley, who was about as menacing as Ned Flanders, plays a bitter rich teenage punk who runs illegal operations at his high school like a junior version of organized crime. The title is a reference to Little Caesar, the gangster movie with Edward G Robinson.
Ashley’s JD character peddles the answers to exams, rigs school elections and bilks money from his classmates. All of this is played so seriously you will die laughing. There’s also the obligatory Drag Race and OF COURSE someone dies while drag racing. My Bad Movie page has a full-length review of this one if you’re interested.
SHAKE, RATTLE AND ROCK! (1956) – In this hilarious movie Rock and Roll music is blamed for the Juvenile Delinquency epidemic of the 1950’s. Not only does one particularly irrational city ban rock music completely but it puts the local rock DJ on trial!
They hold him accountable for the vandalism and other JD activities that hit the town because, by their logic, the “wild” music he played CAUSED the teenagers to commit their crimes. This is Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
THE GUARDIAN OF MYSTERY ISLAND (1896): ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION
THE GUARDIAN OF MYSTERY ISLAND (1896) – Written by Dr Edmond Molcini. Mystery Island lies off the coast of Maine and everyone near the coast considers the place haunted by a true monstrosity – a large ghost-dog.
Sam Lenartson, the hero of the story, is new to the region and is bemused by the superstitious whispers about Mystery Island. He decides to investigate by sailing over to the place but can’t find anyone willing to brave the isle with him.
Sam arrives alone and, though he hears distant barking of an apparently large canine when he follows the sounds he finds a small dog and its owner. That owner is a very, very, VERY old French woman who is either senile or insane. She says she has been around since the 1790s, kept alive by chewing what she calls “Devil Weed.” Continue reading
Filed under Ancient Science Fiction
COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM SEPTEMBER 9th
*** HEADLINES ***
MORNINGSIDE CONQUERS THE NCAA – Each week of college football season often sees various NAIA college teams upsetting NCAA Division Two teams. This is like when 1AA teams upset 1A teams. Yesterday the NAIA’s MORNINGSIDE COLLEGE MUSTANGS faced the NCAA’s Division Two team the TRUMAN STATE BULLDOGS. The Mustangs held a commanding 28-10 Halftime lead but needed to hold on for a 35-30 victory.
NUMBER FOUR TAKES A FALL – Meanwhile in NCAA Division Three the UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN AT STOUT BLUE DEVILS welcomed the number 4 team in the nation – the UNIVERSITY OF SAINT THOMAS TOMMIES. A 7-6 1st Quarter lead for the Tommies became a 14-14 tie at the Half. After the break the Blue Devils outscored UST 11-8 for an earth-shaking 25-22 upset.
NUMBER SEVEN GOES DOWN – In NCAA Division Two the WEST TEXAS A&M BUFFALOES played host to the nation’s 7th ranked COLORADO STATE AT PUEBLO THUNDER WOLVES. The Buffaloes were trailing the Thunder Wolves 7-3 in the 1st Quarter and 21-11 at the midpoint. Neither team scored in the 3rd Quarter, with the Buffaloes notching 13 points in the 4th to win the game 24-21. Continue reading
Filed under college football
TALKING HEADS: PSYCHO KILLER
Time for another installment of Balladeer’s Blog’s “Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead.” This time around it’s Talking Heads with their song Psycho Killer.
Filed under opinion
COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM SEPTEMBER 7th
*** NCAA DIVISION TWO ***
NUMBER ONE SURVIVES A CLOSE CALL – Last night the number 1 team in the nation – the dynastic NORTHWEST MISSOURI STATE BEARCATS – took it on the road against the WASHBURN UNIVERSITY ICHABODS. This game went right down to the wire, with the Bearcats holding on in the end for a 20-14 victory in this Instant Classic.
STUNG BY THE HORNETS – Meanwhile, NCAA Division Two’s 11th ranked EMPORIA STATE HORNETS had no trouble at all with the visiting UNIVERSITY OF NEBRASKA AT KEARNEY LOPERS. The Hornets dominated the reeling Lopers on both sides of the ball for a FORTY-FIVE to THIRTEEN blowout win. Continue reading
Filed under college football
