Tag Archives: Bad Movies

December 30, 2011 · 3:59 pm

HOLIDAY SEASON BAD MOVIE DOUBLE FEATURE

As the Christmas holiday season for 2011 rapidly nears its close, here’s Balladeer’s Blog’s repost of my two annual Christmas turkeys, The Christmas Martian followed by Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. 

THE CHRISTMAS MARTIAN (1971) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following.    Santa Claus Conquers The Martians gets all the attention, but this almost forgotten Canadian film from the 1970′s is one joyously weird acid trip of a movie! And for that “old-school”  bad movie feel the lips don’t match the dialogue, dubbed into English from the original French. (Yes it was made in that part of Canada!)

A spaceship even Ed Wood would be ashamed of, idiotic characters, a delightfully bad song and special effects that would have been outdated 10 years prior to filming highlight this movie that is perfect for Yuletide. The plot, such as it is, features Continue reading →

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November 25, 2011 · 6:05 pm

MOVIE HOSTS: CHRISTOPHER COFFIN (1961? – 1967)

 Christopher Coffin, AKA Reed Pasternak AKA Reed Farrell, deserves to be mentioned with the biggest names in the history of B- Movie Hosts. As you can see in the photo at left Coffin hosted his movies from a wheelchair and when you combine that with his wry, erudite sense of humor and his aristocratic manner I think the best way to describe him would be as a combination of Sheridan Whitehead in The Man Who Came To Dinner and Ghoulardi.  Or maybe I should  make that  a pre- Ghoulardi version of Ghoulardi, depending on what year you accept for CC’s premier.

I want to address the ongoing debate over exactly what year his program debuted. The advocates of a Continue reading →

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November 24, 2011 · 5:38 am

THANKSGIVING DAY BAD MOVIE: SLASHER IN THE HOUSE

Happy Thanksgiving! In the spirit of holiday classics that get trotted out each year here’s a special Turkey Day encore of last year’s review of the laughably bad Thanksgiving Day themed slasher movie from the 1980’s. Until someone makes a horror film about a guy in a Pilgrim outfit slashing people this is what we’ve got.

SLASHER IN THE HOUSE (1981) – Category: Enjoyably campy bad movie  elevated by kitsch-value in the casting   The success of John Carpenter’s Halloween in the late 1970’s launched a frenzy of holiday-themed slasher movies trying to cash in on that film’s success. The most infamous, of course, was the Silent Night, Deadly Night series with the slasher dressed as Santa Claus (and its notorious tag line “You made it through Halloween, now try and survive Christmas!” ), but other holidays got a customized slasher flick, too, like New Year’s Eve (the hilariously bad New Year’s Evil), Valentine’s Day (the original My Bloody Valentine) and Mother’s Day (in a movie of the same name). It even got so Continue reading →

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November 23, 2011 · 3:09 am

THANKSGIVING EVE BAD MOVIE TREAT: THE TURKEY MONSTER MOVIE “BLOOD FREAK”

I first reviewed Blood Freak in the summer of 2010, but considering how its premise makes it appropriate to the Turkey Day holiday I’ll rerun it like they used to rerun The Wizard of Oz every Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

BLOOD FREAK (1972) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following      This film is so comparatively well-known that I considered not including it, but it’s one of my all-time favorites so I’ll include it but just keep the entry short. The lead character in this movie is a biker named Herschell. It’s possible his motorcycle is called Shlomo but I don’t have a second source on that. (Sorry, I was channeling an old Borscht Belt comedian again) No, the director Brad Grinter admits he named the character after  legendary splatter film genius Herschell Gordon Lewis. Herschell gets a job at a turkey farm and at one point eats a turkey (and when I say “eats a turkey” I mean he literally just sits down with a knife, a fork and a whole cooked turkey and wolfs it all down)  treated with experimental chemicals by two mad scientists and … he turns into a man-sized turkey monster with Continue reading →

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November 19, 2011 · 3:54 am

BAD MOVIE PAGE: BLOOD HARVEST (1987)

 BLOOD HARVEST (1987) – Category: Enjoyably bad movie elevated by kitsch value in the casting     As if 1960’s folk singer Tiny Tim wasn’t creepy enough in real life here he is in the 80’s slasher flick that is famous purely because of his presence in it … in clown makeup (AAAAAH!). This review will start off with a major spoiler, so stop reading right now if you actually want to watch this thing as if it was a real movie.

Tiny Tim is NOT the slasher in this film. I often wonder how many copies of this flick have been sold over the years based purely on the fallacious word of mouth that the psychotic- seeming Timster supposedly played a Jason Voorhees style slasher in this movie. Blood Harvest starts out letting the audience THINK Tiny Tim, or Marvelous Mervo as his character is named, is the killer as he hoists a dead body up like a side of beef while singing an eerie parody of a nursery rhyme. We also get a few scenes of Mervo talking to dead bodies and positioning them on furniture like a macabre version of a little girl’s tea party.

Anyone with an eye for movie cliches, though, can tell early on that  Continue reading →

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October 26, 2011 · 10:34 pm

A VERY BLAXPLOITATION HALLOWEEN

Blackenstein

Blackenstein

When it comes to the tasteless but enjoyably bad blaxploitation horror films of the 1970’s it seems like the lion’s share of the attention always goes to Blacula and its sequel, Scream, Blacula, Scream with a little attention left over for Ganja and Hess, since it features the African American hero from the original Night of the Living Dead in one of his few screen appearances.

In honor of the Halloween season Balladeer’s Blog will take a look at some of the neglected blaxploitation horror movies, all of which deserve to have a larger audience than just me and my fellow bad movie geeks. It’s in the spirit of my recent list of The Eleven Most Neglected Bad Movie  Classics For Halloween, but for this list I’ll go in descending order:

Blackenstein movie poster1. BLACKENSTEIN (1973) – This was one of the first flicks to try and cash in on the coattails of the surprise hit Blacula. A mad scientist named Dr Stein is conducting unspeakable experiments in human genetics. A Vietnam vet who has lost both arms and both legs in the war is Dr Stein’s next guinea pig. He restores the man’s limbs but Continue reading →

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October 17, 2011 · 10:04 pm

BAD MOVIE PAGE: HOMEBODIES (1974) – THE INFAMOUS “OLD FOLKS ON A KILLING SPREE” MOVIE

 HOMEBODIES (1974) – Category: Enjoyably bad movie with a weird premise        This is the film that is always known to me and my fellow bad movie geeks as “the killer fogies movie”. When a group of elderly citizens in their 70’s and 80’s face eviction from their decrepit neighborhood to make way for high- rises they strike back under the leadership of feisty and frightening Mattie, played by Paula Trueman, seen at left.

Homebodies has that nice blend of badness and tastelessness that I love in a horror film. I’m not trying to sound hostile to the elderly, since we will all end up facing the same problems some day, but the Continue reading →

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October 13, 2011 · 8:24 pm

PASSION’S FINE

Let’s try this again. I understand strong feelings regarding my statements about religion and violence in my review of the 1991 bad movie Ghost Busting, but I’m not going to okay comments that are either threatening or that consist of nothing but obscenities. I’ll give nutjobs one final chance to express articulate, civil disagreement. Here again is that controversial review. Play nicely and we can all have fun arguing.

GHOST BUSTING (1991) – Category – More weird than bad, but butt-kickingly weird        I first saw this little honey more than a decade ago, but it’s pretty much timeless. It comes to us from Hong Kong, the land of killer fetus movies plus films with such Continue reading →

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October 5, 2011 · 9:31 pm

BAD MOVIE PAGE: HELLROLLER (1992), THE NOTORIOUS “SLASHER IN A WHEELCHAIR” MOVIE

FOR MORE BAD MOVIE REVIEWS CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/

Balladeer's Blog

Balladeer’s Blog

 HELLROLLER (1992) – Category: Enyoyably bad movie but not fun-bad enough to earn my highest rating                 In honor of the upcoming Halloween holiday, here’s another review of a bad horror film. Hellroller is the infamous movie about a slasher who is confined to a wheelchair and uses it to get around as he slices and dices his victims. Ron Litman stars, if “stars” isn’t too strong a word, as Eugene, our twitchy, slobbering paraplegic. Eugene is the product of a Continue reading →

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September 23, 2011 · 9:22 pm

BAD MOVIE PAGE – ATTACK OF THE BEAST CREATURES (1983)

I got an e-mail request for me to review this film, but I did last year, but here it is since I always do what I can to satisfy requests. For more bad movie reviews click here: https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/

Attack of the Beast Creatures (1983)ATTACK OF THE BEAST CREATURES (1983)- Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following.       Some passengers from a Transatlantic liner get shipwrecked and marooned on an uncharted island filled with acidic ponds and streams plus a whole tribe of the titular creatures who all look like the doll that attacked Karen Black in Trilogy Of Terror. And it’s the 1920′s for no reason whatsoever! Nothing in the story has Continue reading →

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