THANKSGIVING EVE BAD MOVIE TREAT: THE TURKEY MONSTER MOVIE “BLOOD FREAK”

I first reviewed Blood Freak in the summer of 2010, but considering how its premise makes it appropriate to the Turkey Day holiday I’ll rerun it like they used to rerun The Wizard of Oz every Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

BLOOD FREAK (1972) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following      This film is so comparatively well-known that I considered not including it, but it’s one of my all-time favorites so I’ll include it but just keep the entry short. The lead character in this movie is a biker named Herschell. It’s possible his motorcycle is called Shlomo but I don’t have a second source on that. (Sorry, I was channeling an old Borscht Belt comedian again) No, the director Brad Grinter admits he named the character after  legendary splatter film genius Herschell Gordon Lewis. Herschell gets a job at a turkey farm and at one point eats a turkey (and when I say “eats a turkey” I mean he literally just sits down with a knife, a fork and a whole cooked turkey and wolfs it all down)  treated with experimental chemicals by two mad scientists and … he turns into a man-sized turkey monster with an addiction to human blood.

No, this film is not an urban legend like some people think, it really exists. It all starts when  our biker hero falls in with a group of drug-using 20-somethings, two of whom are your typical “good girl” and “bad girl” types, and who tempt our hero toward two different value systems. You see, this film is also an anti-drug metaphor with religious overtones, and an audience favorite in this flick is the sermonizing narrator. This guy chain-smokes while sitting behind a desk and frequently is very VERY obviously just reading aloud from a script he has on the desk before him. He drones on and on about drugs and faith and keeping the body pure (yes, while smoking) and has a long coughing fit at one point, all of which is left in the film. If you broke into director Brad Grinter’s home in the middle of the night and threatened him with a hot soldering iron (which I have done by the way) I think he’d admit the coughing jag (at least) is deliberate. Heck, the narrator even glances off-camera at one point and gestures as if to say “Well? Have I fake-coughed long enough?” to the director.

 When our hero turns into the turkey monster, well, really just a guy with a turkey head in place of his real one, he has a hilariously bizarre bedroom scene with his new girlfriend. He also starts nocturnal excursions to get his “fix” of human blood. Yep, it’s a very awkward analogy for the drug addiction the “bad girl” was pushing Herschell toward. He kills victims, slits their throats, cups the gushing blood in his hands and “slurps” it up with his turkey beak. It’s even funnier than the earlier part where Herschell was becoming addicted to marijuana while overacting like a character from Reefer Madness.  Does our hero (whose hairdo makes him look like a bulked-up Elvis impersonator) kick both his blood and drug dependency? Watch it and see!

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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13 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies

13 responses to “THANKSGIVING EVE BAD MOVIE TREAT: THE TURKEY MONSTER MOVIE “BLOOD FREAK”

  1. Zar

    Is this a “You have got to be kidding me” movie? Cos I saw “Left Behind”, as a Christioan (Albeit one who simply didn’t beleive the Rapture, I was raised in the Church of Christ after all) and foudn it odd. Not just in the Theology but the situations. And Ray went form womanising jerk thinking abotu an affair to Bible thumpr who you do not want to be around in Church, much less aroudn someone you want to convert!

    I mean, it was awful but I really really liked “Left Behind” because of the unintentionally funny elements in it. Or that other movie by I think the same company with Mr. T and Christiasn in Concentration Camps.

    Is this oen as ehavy handed and just plain absurd as all that?

    • Yes, it’s definitely a “so bad it’s good movie’. It has to be seen to be believed. If you laughed at the Left Behind stuff you might get a few laughs out of my Bad Movie page’s review of If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? a religious nut movie about Communists taking over the U.S. in the early 1970’s

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  3. I have a good imagination I think – but sucking the blood up from his hands – can’t imagine that for the life of me…

  4. Zar

    Communists are always fun…GO WOLVERINES!

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