So, with Buford Pusser being exposed very recently and the Warrens being exposed long ago, yet movies still being made that depict the latter two figures in a positive light, watching any of the many movies about all of them seems in bad taste now.
Y’know?
Seriously, their movies individually are cringe-inducing these days.
I can’t imagine how it would feel watching multiple movies about any of the three.
What an ugly state of affairs this has turned into. Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies, opinion
Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault! (I often point that out to cut down on hearing from people who don’t notice the broadcast dates and angrily claim this show imitated MST3K, which is impossible since this Texas show came first.)
In the middle 1980s, way down on Level 31 Randy and Richard, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class (EO6), hosted this neglected cult show that debuted on February 9th, 1985. Balladeer’s Blog continues its celebration of the program’s 40th anniversary year.
EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday May ??, 1987 from 10:30pm to 1:00 am. Exact date is still being debated. Any Vaulties with further information please feel free to contact me.
SERIAL: None.
This movie was long enough that with commercials plus Randy, Richard and Ken “Tex” Miller’s comedy sketches and Host Segments it filled the whole two and a half hour running time for that episode.
THE MOVIE: KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK (1978) – Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Peter Criss and Ace Frehley stumble their way through this notoriously awful and unceasingly hilarious excuse for a movie. It’s like a feature-length Josie and the Pussycats cartoon but with KISS of all bands in the lead roles. The only thing missing from this movie is El Santo as the four members of KISS are depicted possessing super-powers … yes, SUPER-POWERS!
Those super-powers do or do not emanate from their special talismen as the movie absurdly contradicts itself about this as well as about nearly everything else. Our super-powered Knights In Satan’s Service (as panicked parents were fooled into thinking KISS stood for) are performing at AN AMUSEMENT PARK (?) for three days because dammit, nothing says “family friendly” like these guys! The park is unnamed in the film but was really Magic Mountain. Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts
TOWING (1978) – How obscure is this flick? As of this writing there are only 2 user reviews of it at IMDb. That actually makes Towing better known than some of the other flicks I’ve reviewed here at Balladeer’s Blog, but the fact that Joe Mantegna, Sue Lyon, Dennis Franz, Mike Nussbaum, Jennifer Ashley and J.J. Johnston are in this movie make it worth examining.
What’s this movie about? Well, let me start by pointing out that sometimes bad movies are as effective as folk songs at preserving a tiny portion of history or cultural zeitgeist that would otherwise be completely forgotten as the decades go by.
Towing is about that period in the 1970s when Chicago tow-truck operators scandalously began towing vehicles out of parking lots based on VERY questionable grounds of being in violation of city regulations. The sleazy towing companies would charge the vehicle owners much larger than reasonable fees to get them back. Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
In the middle 1980s, way down on Level 31 Randy and Richard, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class (EO6) hosted this neglected cult show that debuted on February 9th, 1985. Balladeer’s Blog continues its celebration of the program’s 40th anniversary year.
EPISODE’S ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Unknown but definitely before May of 1986. One of the old newspaper articles from early May of that year refers to Glen or Glenda as one of the movies having already been shown on The Texas 27 Film Vault. Anyone with more specific info feel free to contact me.
The Texas 27 Film Vault aired on Saturday nights from 10:30pm to 1:00am. The show was broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma.
SERIAL: Unknown. Again, if you have info feel free to contact me. If this episode aired near the date of the newspaper article mentioned above then Radar Men from the Moon was the serial airing before the movies during that point in 1986. The article makes that clear.
THE MOVIE: Glen or Glenda is so well known I’m sure I don’t need to say much about it. It was Ed Wood’s infamous semi-autobiographical movie about his love of wearing women’s clothing. Incidentally – very incidentally in terms of footage – the movie also touched on the topic of sex-change operations because of the highly publicized 1950s case of Christine Jorgensen. Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts
KARATE GIRL aka Karateci Kiz (1973) – As fans of Psychotronic movies know, Turkish cinema’s imitations of B-movies from around the world are known for very eccentric acting and for ignoring international copyright laws.
Turkish Star Wars has long been a favorite of Turksploitation fans but most of us were introduced to the country’s Psychotronic cinema via their home grown costumed crimefighter called Killing or through the movie 3 Dev Adam (1973). Three Divine Men or Three Giant Men as it’s called in English featured the U.S.A.’s Captain America and Mexico’s El Santo teaming up against Spider-Man, who for some reason was depicted as an international criminal.
The Turkish “screw you” attitude when it came to the fact that they didn’t own the trademarks to those three figures added to the bizarre charm. Similarly, Turkish films appropriated whatever music they wanted to use in their productions. For instance, Karate Girl shamelessly uses the Shaft music to accompany its martial arts revenge storyline.
Turkish superstar Filiz Akin stars in Karate Girl as Zeynep, a beautiful young woman who sells flowers to raise money for an operation to fix her vocal chords so she can talk. Zeynep lives with her good-natured father, who verbalizes to the viewers what his mute daughter’s personal sign language means. Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
Before MST3K we had The Texas 27 Film Vault! Before Joel and Mike we had Randy and Richard! (I often start my reviews of this 1985-1987 cult show this way to cut down on messages from people who don’t pay attention to the broadcast dates and try insisting that Randy and Richard “ripped off” MST3K. That’s impossible since their show came first.)
Balladeer’s Blog continues its salute to The Texas 27 Film Vault‘s FORTIETH anniversary year. My research through VERY old newspapers, my interview with the show’s co-star and co-creator Randy Clower plus emails and comments from my fellow fans of the program helped piece together fragments of the program’s history.
ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday December 27th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma.
Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault
FILM VAULT LORE: Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, as machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class and members of the fictional Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) had two and a half hours to work with each week.
Interviews with figures like Vincent Price, Ben Johnson and others were featured and the movies being shown and mocked were often preceded by episodes of old Republic serials like Radar Men from the Moon and others.
SERIAL: For this episode the movie was preceded by a chapter of Mysterious Doctor Satan, about a mad scientist trying to conquer the world with a very goofy- looking robot. Another extra was Randy and Richard’s interview with Ben Johnson at his ranch. Johnson appeared in the episode’s film as well.
HOST SEGMENTS: Outside of the Ben Johnson bit, Randy and Richard did some comedy playing to the New Year’s-themed horror film being shown. As Midnight Dallas Time approached, they staged a countdown and then a raucous celebration of the arrival of … December 28th, 1986. Ken “Tex” Miller, Joe “The Hypnotic Eye” Riley, Laurie Savino and other Film Vault Corps members joined in the festivities in a great example of the show’s wry humor.
THE MOVIE: TERROR TRAIN – A New Year’s Eve slasher film set on a train carrying a load of partying passengers who plan to ring in the New Year in each time zone of the United States. As required by law at the time, Jamie Lee Curtis starred since it was a slasher flick with a seasonal theme. (Look under the Federal Halloween, Halloween II and Prom Night Act of 1980 if you don’t believe me.) Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts
WAR OF THE WORLDS (2025) – A new chapter has been added to the history of H.G. Wells adaptations. Ice Cube stars in Amazon’s feature-length product placement for itself. In a moment of Cosmic Comedy, Amazon straight-facedly attached the tagline “It’s worse than you think” to this flick.
Yes, obviously that was meant in the sense that the crisis involving invading aliens is worse than you think, but my God you’d have to be an idiot or have the proverbial balls the size of church bells to approve that tagline for your own company’s movie production.
Master thespian Ice Cube stars as a government surveillance operative who abuses his position to violate people’s civil rights all day long while also obsessively spying on his own family members on taxpayer time. AND HE’S OUR SUPPOSED HERO!
Ice Cube Makes Faces should have been this thing’s title, since he does nothing but sit in a chair exercising his facial muscles while spending face time with us and absurdly playing his Big Brother Will Protect You role to the hilt. And lest you fear that this adaptation will be less than faithful to the source material, the filmmakers even included the part where one of H.G. Wells’ characters says “Get your skinny ass over there!”
I now want to see an entire Cinematic Universe of Ice Cube starring in movies made from H.G. Wells stories. I’m sure the Invisible Man’s reaction to his condition would be something like “DAAAMN!” Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
In the middle 1980s/ Way down on Level 31 –
Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of the FORTIETH ANNIVERSARY year of this neglected cult show that debuted February 9th of 1985.
EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Per fan MilesTellerRox, Saturday September 13th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.
Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma.
SERIAL: Again, per MilesTellerRox, before presenting and mocking The Party Crashers our machine-gun wielding Film Vault Technicians First Class Randy and Richard presented and mocked an episode of Mysterious Doctor Satan, a Republic serial from 1940.
The serial featured a mad scientist called Dr Satan trying to take over the world with a VERY goofy- looking robot while a pulp-style hero called Copperhead tried to thwart his plans.
FILM VAULT LORE: This episode featured Randy (right) and Richard’s (left) interview with Denver Pyle, who appears in the film being presented, The Party Crashers. They taped the interview with him at Ben Johnson’s ranch.
THE PARTY CRASHERS (1958) – Connie Stevens, Bobby Driscoll, Mark Damon, Frances Farmer and the aforementioned Denver Pyle star in this unintentionally hilarious movie about a group of Juvenile Delinquents whose M.O. is to crash parties at upper-class homes, help themselves to food, drink and women and then vandalize the place. Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts
Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault, which debuted on February 9th, 1985.
Balladeer’s Blog continues its celebration of this program’s FORTIETH anniversary year.
EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Per fellow fan Silivant the date was Saturday January 24th, 1987 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma.
SERIAL: None this week. The movie, commercials and Film Vault Corps comedy sketches took up the entire running time.
Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault
HOST SEGMENTS/ COMEDY SKETCHES: There is some disagreement among Texas 27 Film Vault fans. One faction argues that this was the episode in which Randy Clower – interested in preserving his youth like the main character in the night’s movie – took the nonexistent chemical Multiquixiphiline (see my exclusive interview with Randy Clower).
That chemical made him much younger, overdoing it to the point of restoring him to childhood. Randy’s real-life son Jaron played the young version of himself in the series of sketches. Once again Tex (Ken Miller) saved the day and Randy was restored to his normal age. Randy himself did not remember if this really was the movie with that storyline in the Host Segments.
Dorian and his suspiciously Warhol-esque portrait
THE MOVIE: THE SECRET OF DORIAN GRAY (1970) – A terrific idea was blown in this hilariously flawed attempt to adapt Oscar Wilde’s Picture of Dorian Gray to swinging 60s London. Helmut Berger, who was sort of a Nordic Michael York back when this movie was made, stars as our title hero whose portrait begins to reflect all the physical and spiritual wear and tear of Dorian’s hedonistic lifestyle, thus preserving his young, beautiful physical form. Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts
Ghoulies
In the middle 1980s, way down on Level 31, we had The Texas 27 Film Vault. Before Joel and Mike, we had Randy and Richard. (I make a point of opening my T27FV posts with similar reminders because it cuts down on furious reactions from people who don’t pay attention to the broadcast dates and accuse Randy and Richard of ripping off MST3K even though their show came first.)
In honor of the FORTIETH anniversary of this forgotten 1985-1987 cult show Balladeer’s Blog has been posting about parts of the program’s history. This time I’ll examine the final movie presented and mocked by the machine-gun toting Randy and Richard and their colleagues in the Film Vault Corps – “the few, the proud, the sarcastic”.
Randy Clower and Richard Malmos of The Texas 27 Film Vault (both lower right) featured in a Movie Host article with Stella from Saturday Night Dead and Elvira.
FILM VAULT LORE: A T27FV fan calling herself Georgia remarked at Egor’s site: “I still lived (in Dallas) when they did their last show. They knew they were going off the air because they talked about it and seemed pretty sad about it. I was sad, too. It was the best thing on tv.”
The show was still hot in the ratings but Randy, Richard, Ken “Tex” Miller and Joe “The Hypnotic Eye” Riley got hot job offers they couldn’t turn down. Combine that with the collapse of the Film Vault Guys’ most recent attempt to get a syndication deal (what might have been) and the gang disbanded after roughly 2 and 1/2 years of bad movie fun.
Ghoulies poster
THE MOVIE: This was a product from Charles Band, so lovers of bad 1980s horror films know what they’re in for. Jack Nance from Eraserhead and Mariska Hargitay from Law and Order: SVU can both point to this flick as their most embarrassing moment on camera!
A Satanist played by rock singer Michael Des Barres leaves his mansion – which was the site of his Black Masses and human sacrifices – to a young couple played by Lisa Pelikan and Peter Liapis. They move into the creepy old place and the man starts to become possessed by the dark forces that linger in the mansion. Eventually his dabbling in Satanic rituals causes his zombified father Malcolm (Des Barres) to climb out of his grave,which is conveniently located in the mansion’s backyard. Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts
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