THE UNCLE GODDAMN MOVIES – Over the years, several people have asked me if there are any weird films that I won’t review. Believe it or not, there are. First would be the decades-old version of A Christmas Carol performed by a class of mentally challenged students.
The production was filmed so the students and their loved ones could have copies but eventually a copy fell into the hands of some fairly cruel-humored people who made many more copies and packaged it as a movie to watch so you could laugh at what they called “retards” acting out A Christmas Carol.
Over time, that film became one of the products sold by the now-defunct mail order site called Blackest Heart Video. So far, it has been the only version of A Christmas Carol that I’ve neither bought nor reviewed.
Cruel as that video offering was, it was only one movie. There is also an entire video series I won’t review – the infamous Uncle Goddamn shorts (see above pics). WARNING: If you don’t want to read the vicious details, don’t click on “continue reading.” Continue reading
SCARTICIA – From 1971 to 1975 Annette Stutzman starred as the witch Scarticia, hostess of Horrible Movie late Saturday nights on WAPT-TV in Jackson, MS. Stutzman also worked as the personal secretary of the station manager. 
Soon, Jackson, MS teens and 20-somethings began holding Horrible Movie viewing parties on Saturday nights. Inevitably, hundreds of fan letters began pouring in every week. 
Edwin L. Raub (1921-1998) served as a paratrooper in World War Two and fought on D-Day & during Operation Market Garden. He was written about by name in Cornelius Ryan’s non-fiction book (later a movie) A Bridge Too Far about the latter action. 
Graduating to the hour-long Uncle Ted’s Children’s Party, Edwin Raub cemented his position as a local television icon. In 1974, Scranton’s WNEP-TV hired him to use his Uncle Ted persona to host their Friday nights at midnight Bad Movie show Uncle Ted’s Ghoul School, elevating his kiddy-show schtick to the more wry and sarcastic approach of hosting old and bad movies. 
TARANTULA GHOUL – Actress Suzanne Waldron’s performance on stage in Macbeth captured the attention of the bosses at Portland, Oregon’s KPTV. They hired her to host House of Horror, their late-night B-Movie show, in a similar style to Vampira down in Los Angeles. 
Most of the classic Bad Movie shows aired on Friday or Saturday nights, which were ideal for audiences to stay up late watching the movie and the host’s antics. Trapped in the mire of a late-night middle of the week timeslot, the brilliant Tarantula Ghoul’s show sadly lasted from just October 9th, 1957 to November 26th, 1958. 
ZERO TO SIXTY (1978) – Want to see Darren McGavin of all people bare his butt for the camera in two separate scenes? Want to see Darren McGavin getting his bare butt spanked by the Hudson Brothers in one of those scenes? Want to see Darren McGavin in sex scenes with Joan Collins at her smoking hot best? 
SIR GRAVES GHASTLY – Lawson J. Deming portrayed this vampire character whose eponymous movie show ran from January 1967 to November 1982 in Detroit – a longer run than most other classic Movie Hosts. His Saturday afternoon at 1:00pm program was even syndicated in Cleveland and Washington, DC for a year or two during the 1970s. 
At the start of each episode Sir Graves would emerge from a coffin and make with his signature laugh – “”Nyeeea-aaaa-haa-haaaaa.” At show’s end he would climb back into the coffin and pull down the lid. 
PLAYGIRL KILLER (1967) – Oh, Canada! With the passing of Neil Sedaka I no longer had an excuse to put off reviewing this Canadian-made “horror” film which was Sedaka’s first, last and only thespian effort. 
Bill and his lovely lady pull up at a rock overlooking the lake and he starts trying to sketch her since he’s an artist. She’s not in the mood to sit still, though, and starts laughing at how bizarrely angry Bill gets about it. 
WAVELENGTH (1983) – This is an unjustly neglected science fiction film that stars Robert Carradine, Cherie Currie and Keenan Wynn in a very unconventional love triangle: both Carradine and Currie are fighting over Wynn. (I’m kidding!) 
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