THE BOD SQUAD (1974) – Hong Kong Cinema’s Shaw Brothers helped produce this cross-cultural martial arts exploitation flick that plays like an Andy Sidaris film crossed with a WIP movie from the 70s.
Like most Psychotronic classics, The Bod Squad has been released under several different titles, in this case Virgins of the Seven Seas and increasingly suggestive tags as its reputation for kung fu t&a learned at the knee of Sensei Russ Meyer grew. The joke is on anybody who watches this flick with lecherous intentions, since it never comes close to living up to those “aren’t we naughty” alternate titles like Enter the Seven Virgins.
Several European women sail to Australia around the 1840s only to wind up in the hands of Chinese pirates who take them to Hong Kong to sell into white slavery. Amid the expected mistreatment, our future butt-kickers are trained how to please their future owners in bed, adding to a viewer’s desire to see them turn the tables on their captors.
In one of the many “How would that possibly work?” elements of the storyline, a shrewd female martial artist undercover at the brothel (Hui-Ling Liu) surreptitiously protects the virtue of the new captives while teaching them kung fu on the side.
Eventually, the now-lethal ladies strike back at the pirates, aided by Hui-Ling Liu’s brother Yueh Hua, who even starts a romance with one of the European women. The fight scenes are mostly why we watch movies like this, and we get assorted scenes of the pirates fighting among themselves til we get to the part where the ladies take over.
If you care to be choosy about the format in which you buy The Bod Squad I recommend the German-dubbed version with English subtitles. The delirious tableau of harsh “GRONKNUM NOCKA GLICKFRESSEN!” Teutonic screaming coming from Chinese pirates will surely appeal to people with the same weird sense of humor that I have.
Other bits of madness to enjoy in this film:
*** The over-the-top bullying that the pirates unleash on innocent Hong Kong citizens who cross paths with them. It’s like a martial arts version of the Blazing Saddles bad guy holding an old lady while his colleague repeatedly punches her in the stomach.
*** The regulation 70s Chop Socky flick sharp-edged fan. In this case, one of the women who run the brothel uses such a fan to slice off the clothing of one of the European ladies just like Antonio Banderas does with his sword in that Zorro movie.
*** An elderly woman coaching the European captives in an odd version of calisthenics.
*** Leering guards who are so sleazy not even a Jack Hill WIP movie would put up with them. Seriously, these guys make Sid Haig seem courteous and gentlemanly.
*** Far too much needless somersaulting by our starlets during their fight scenes. There are Olympic gymnastics floor routines which don’t feature this much flipping around.
If you can endure – or fast-forward through – way too many minutes of ugly exploitation and gratuitous toplessness, the subsequent revenge spree of our heroines provides decent action for the final third or so of the movie.
The Bod Squad is Psychotronic to its core, meaning it’s in no way good, just joyously tasteless and loaded with WTF? moments.
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Logged, thank you sir!
That’s funny, “sensei Russ Meyer!” I’ve seen this one and like all bad flicks I found it entertaining. Good review!
Thanks! Yeah, if Russ did a martial arts film this is what it would have been like.
Wonderful posts as always. I have never heard about this bad movie before but as always found your post a pleasure to read.
Thank you very much!