GARTER COLT (1968) SPAGHETTI WESTERN

This year the Frontierado Holiday falls on Friday, August 1st. That holiday is about the myth of the Old West, not the grinding reality.

GARTER COLT (1968) – Previously, I reviewed the Spaghetti Western The Belle Starr Story, so this time I’m taking a look at this Italo-Western starring Nicoletta Machiavelli. She portrays Lulu “Garter” Colt, a gunslinging beauty who turns heads, breaks hearts and kicks butts all along the U.S.-Mexican Border.

In most Spaghetti Westerns women are around only to be slept with, assaulted and/or murdered, but a select few feature ladies who get to mow down no-good hombres with giddy abandon. One such woman is Garter Colt, who keeps her pistol stuffed into her garter belt, which provides the excuse to frequently flash a thigh while drawing her weapon.

And naturally the low-cut outfits worn by Lulu and supporting character Rosy (Marisa Solinas) allow for additional alluring shots.

Ms. Colt is a professional gambler, so the director also lets the camera linger near her cleavage as she earnestly contemplates her poker hand in assorted scenes.

Our story is set in 1867 as Mexican rebels are on the verge of overthrowing and executing Emperor Maximilian, the Austrian dictator imposed on them by Napoleon the Third while America was too busy with its Civil War to be able to enforce the Monroe Doctrine. Other Spaghetti Westerns, like the original Django and Indio Black depict the Emperor’s European troops as irredeemable bad guys but in this movie our lovely heroine falls in love with a French officer. 

That officer gets killed by Claudio Camaso as Mexican outlaw (not rebel) Rosso (Red), prompting Garter Colt’s quest to kill Rosso for revenge. She pursues that goal amid all kinds of action, double crosses, gun-running and passion involving both sides of the war.   

Throw in the usual unintentional humor here and there plus the usual attempted comedy bits that aren’t funny and it sounds like your typical lower tier Eurowestern, right? Wrong. This flick has a lot that makes it stand out from the pack.

*** Our heroine travels from town to town with a carriage which she claims holds her baby, but which really contains a midget who helps Lulu cheat during card games. It makes no sense but that’s part of the movie’s charm.

*** Garter Colt was filmed in Sardinia, unlike the many, many Spaghetti Westerns that were filmed in Spain’s Jarama Valley. 

*** Early on, Mexican rebel General Droga (Walter Barnes) has five French POWs tied to stakes and then blown up like a human version of the tasteless and sadistic Exploding Varmints videos.

*** At one point, Lulu bathes her horse in a scene that seems like it’s trying to be the equine hygiene equivalent of the eating scene in Tom Jones.

*** A haystack sex scene seems to have been shot on a beach. (?)

Anyway, our heroine gets meaty scenes where she shoots off the rope on a lynch mob’s noose, breaks up a stagecoach robbery and otherwise shows off her skill with a gun. Sadly, though, Nicoletta Machiavelli lacks the screen presence and acting ability to truly shine, making those bits limp and lifeless. 

Garter Colt isn’t great, but if you liked the Spaghetti Westerns you’ve already seen it’s more than worth at least one viewing. If you enjoy oddball movies as much as I do, it’s must-see.

FOR MY LOOK AT THE 1960s THROUGH 1980s DJANGO MOVIES CLICK HERE.