Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault (1985-1987)! Before Joel and Mike, lovers of bad movies had Randy and Richard (at right)! Before Pearl and Kinga there was Laurie Savino! Before Devil Dogs, Observers and Deep 13 there came Cellumites, giant rats and Level 31!
In the middle 1980s/ Way down on Level 31 Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class hosted this often-neglected cult show. Balladeer’s Blog features plenty of posts about The Texas 27 Film Vault and even an exclusive interview with Randy Clower.
THE MAN WHO SAW TOMORROW (1981)
ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday November 9th, 1985 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.
SERIAL: None. This time around the pre-movie offering was the 1953 short titled Nostradamus Says So.
HOST SEGMENTS: At one point Randy and Richard read aloud some ridiculously bizarre predictions made in tabloids by “psychics” of the time period.
THE MOVIE: The Man Who Saw Tomorrow was a hilariously melodramatic and irrational documentary playing along with the silly notion that the 16th Century “seer” Nostradamus’ vague and noncommital quatrains predicted major future events. Orson Welles, in his “anything for money” phase, narrated the film.
This movie was up there with the campy UFO and Bigfoot documentaries of the 1970s and 1980s. Welles, who has to hurriedly pluck his cigar from his mouth at one point so that he can be understood, seems on the verge of laughter most of the time. As usual in anything about Nostradamus meanings are forced into his centuries-old poems that make them seem like he was a “prophet” who foresaw the rise of Napoleon, World War Two, the John F Kennedy assassination and just about anything else that true-believers want to read into the man’s vague scribblings.
“We will sell no schlock … before it’s time.”
Viewers from today can have even more fun riffing on this flick than Randy and Richard had back in 1985 since so many of Nostradamus’ alleged predictions for the 1980s and 1990s failed to come true. Plus references to “the Soviet Union’s” role in World War Three will have you laughing. Orson Welles does his best to play up the creepiness factor of the prophecies with his best Spook House voice but it’s a losing game for anyone with common sense.
The movie even tells us that the then-imminent return of Halley’s Comet would bring with it drought, starvation and rampant cannibalism. Remember when that happened in the 1980s? Ah, good times.
Let’s face it, Nostradamus’ gibberish is as meaningless and vague as daily horoscopes. To this very day the audience for this documentary is split between a) devotees who buy into the notion that Nostradamus predicted every single major and minor event in history and b) fans of bad movies who love to laugh at how inane the whole affair is.
The Man Who Saw Tomorrow does end with a bang. Welles narrates what the long-dead Frenchman supposedly foretold about the Battle of Armageddon while actors on a cheap set act out the events. Given the location of Megiddo and the fact that Muslim nations have been violent and superstitious for about 1,300 years the Final Antichrist is depicted as the mad dictator of a Middle Eastern nation. The man’s machinations bring about World War Three and the mythical Battle of Armageddon itself.
If you’re looking for a load of laughs and the cultural kitsch value of seeing the great Orson Welles spouting nonsense about bogus prophecies then this is the movie for you.
IN THE NEAR FUTURE BALLADEER’S BLOG WILL PRESENT MORE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT MILESTONES.
Be here to share the Film Vault Corp’s mission of “safeguarding America’s schlock-culture heritage”.
FOR ADDITIONAL INFO ON THIS SHOW –https://glitternight.com/texas-27-film-vault/
© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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My favorite film they ever did was “Daddy-O”
Right, on MST3k, but unfortunately The Texas 27 Film Vault never did that particular movie.
Yeah it was ages ago but had this number that still makes me guffaw uncontrollably:
Yep! Absolutely classic sketch! Joel had the awkward Contino grin down pat. I also loved Dick’s couple of scenes in Girls Town from the 1994 season!
Glad you’re still the champion for the ole Vault! I can’t believe it’s been so many years!! Hope all is well with you my friend! Keep posting the fun stuff! Take care, be cool and peace out…
Always good to hear from you, Cap’n! Been too long! I hope all is well with you, too! I will, and you take care, too!
Horoscopes gibberish? Really?
Yes, I compare Nostradamus’ predictions to Horoscope gibberish because they were so vaguely worded and open to interpretation that they remind me of horoscope nonsense.
Reckon on the strength of that, Talltree Tmnes and Trader editors my ditch the Stargazer column.
Wouldn’t be a bad idea, Espy!
Ouch! Okay, I owe you one.
I was only kidding!
Though I have not seen those but I think these were good 😊 well shared
Thank you very much. It was a good show about bad movies.
💐
😀
Not withstanding that the predictions within this broadcast were all hooey, I will bet donuts that more of these predictions have come true than the Earth Day predictions.
Hilarious! That is more than likely true!
I’m pretty sure I saw this when it was on back in the 80s, but the main things I remember Orson Welles for (I probably shouldn’t admit either of these) are:
And I know he did those wine commercials too but I wasn’t paying much attention to wine commercials back in the 80s.
I never knew he did a voice in Transformers! And my God, those wine commercials. “We will sell no wine before it’s time.”
Great review. I haven’t heard of this film either but it sounds absolutely hilarious to me. I have no interests in the subject matter itself but am a big fan of Orson Welles. Welles was a fantastic filmmaker that made many unforgettable movies in his lasting career such as “Citizen Kane”. Recently, I enjoyed the film “Mank”. This film told the story of the making behind a movie that was hard to produce. David Fincher did an incredible job honouring a timeless classic in Cinema. It’s one of those underrated films which didn’t get recognition it deserved. If you’re a fan of Orson Welles, this is definitely worth a watch. Here’s why I recommend it:
Yes, Orson Welles is one of my favorite filmmakers with Citizen Kane my favorite movie.
Great post once again. “The Man Who Saw Tomorrow” definitely appears to be a promising documentary. It reminds me a lot of time travel movies that I admire. For instance, it brought to mind the film “Edge of Tomorrow”. It tells the story of an army veteran that keeps reliving the same day of an alien invasion over and over again. One of Tom Cruise’s best movies.
Here’s why it’s a must-see: