bionic ninjaBIONIC NINJA (1985) – Hey! The people who dubbed this flick into English overused “Hey!” to such a degree that if you play the Hey! Drinking Game you’ll die of alcohol poisoning a third of the way through the movie. Leo Fong supposedly choreographed the fights and did some stunt work in and out of ninja garb in this film, another splice job of unrelated movies.   

Hey! It’s also been released under the titles Ninja Assassins and Ninja ForceBionic Ninja is using “ninja” as its plural form but sadly, none of them are bionic. For some reason many international releases took to using the word “bionic” in their titles as if the word meant “super” or “ultra” or “maximum.” The ninja in this movie are the NOISIEST ninja ever committed to film, but they do possess powers of teleportation, so that’s fun.

Hey! In Hong Kong, a kung-fu fighting Chinese courier named Gordon Mann is transporting a “Top Secret Technical Film” containing information that could alter the balance of power in the Cold War. The Soviets have hired a band of ninja (our title menaces) to steal the film from Gordon. Mann’s boss in the British Secret Service, Warren Smart, lets Mann twist in career limbo under suspicion that he willingly handed over the film while Smart is secretly a traitor himself.

bionic ninja picHey! White CIA Agent Tommy Foster (Kelly Steve) arrives in Hong Kong to recover said film, which is being fought over by everyone from petty street thugs and jewel thieves up through the highest echelons of organized crime and international espionage. A pair of bickering cops (of course) also get into the mix and the pirated Miami Vice theme music turns up during a fight scene. (For newbies, everything from the James Bond Theme to the Star Wars Theme are appropriated in many international flicks.)

Hey! This is a standard chop-socky mess, meaning 90% of the running time is spent on fight scenes, which I guess accounts for Leo Fong’s top billing. As always in these things there are pointless double-crosses, subplots which lead nowhere and a final twist which renders most of the story’s developments meaningless. If you care, along the way the CIA man learns ninja techniques from a book (?) and fights the “bionic ninja” using their own powers. Hey!



© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.     


Filed under Bad and weird movies

12 responses to “BIONIC NINJA (1985)

  1. These films look bonkers. Surely I must have watched a few of them in the VHS days. Great review

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