WHY AMERICAN LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES ARE EQUALLY ANNOYING

"First George W Bush and now ME! You people will reelect ANYBODY!"

“First George W Bush and now ME! You people will reelect ANYBODY!”

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the web that is truly nonpartisan in its criticism of the walking caricatures called Liberals and Conservatives.

Like other adults here in the U.S. my own views are a mix of “liberal” and “conservative” attitudes. That’s why the rest of us find Liberals and Conservatives (with capitalized L’s and C’s) to be so outdated and laughably partisan. Enough preamble, here’s a list of some of the reasons we despise American Liberals and American Conservatives equally:

1. Liberals think they’re fit to lecture the rest of us about “diversity”. / Conservatives think they’re fit to lecture the rest of us about “family values”. 

2. Liberals are pretentious fools who actually think they’re the country’s official “intellectuals”.  / Conservatives are nationalist fools who actually think they’re the country’s official “patriots”. 

3. Liberals mindlessly take sides against their own country no matter what the circumstances. / Conservatives mindlessly side with their own country no matter what the circumstances.

4. Liberals actually believe Continue reading →

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CHRISTMAS CAROL OBSCURITIES: CAROL-A-THON 2012

Ghost of Christmas PresentAren’t we all pretty fed up with the same versions of A Christmas Carol being rammed down our throats like Razzleberry Dressing every Christmas season while many of the clever but lesser known variations of the Dickens Yuletide classic languish in obscurity?

I’m one of those people who begin wallowing in the dozens of versions of this Industrial Age epic myth right after Thanksgiving and don’t let up until New Year’s Day. With the obsessive and semi- psychotic zeal of a Trekkie or an X-Phile I purchase every offbeat variation and adaptation of A Christmas Carol that I can lay my hands on.

Drawing on the extensive, albeit geeky, expertise that I’ve gained in this subject over the years I’d like to spread the word about some of the versions of the story that can be found in the remote hinterlands of home video or audio. This will be a look at variations of the actual Dickens story, set in London in the 1840’s.

An entirely separate article could be written about adaptations of A Christmas Carol set in different time periods and locales, like Rod Serling’s anti-war parable Carol For Another Christmas, or the 1975 conservation short The Energy Carol or even the year 2000 Brazilian version depicting the Scrooge figure as a drug lord who repents. Just think of me as the Ghost of Christmas Carol Obscurities. After reading this list you’ll hopefully conduct your own search for versions of the Carol beyond the limited world of Mr Magoo, Alastair Sim and George C Scott (“Dickens, you magnificent bastard! I read yer booooook!”) . 

Marcel MarceauMarcel Marceau Presents a Christmas Carol (1973) – Marcel Marceau is possibly the only name that comes to mind if you try to think of famous mimes. In fact “Famous Mimes” would make for one easy Jeopardy category because the response would always be “Who is Marcel Marceau?”

Anyway, this BBC presentation featured Marceau acting out a pantomime of the Carol and playing every role. This was accompanied by narration by another actor who once portrayed Scrooge, Michael Hordern. If you prefer versions of the Carol devoid of any and all speaking there are several silent movie Carols available out there.  

Shower of Stars Christmas Carol (1954) – This Carol may suck from the dramatic angle but it’s a wonderful oddity well worth owning because of its cultural kitsch value. This is a recorded version of what was first presented as a live broadcast and the barely sixty minute production provides a nice example of what live, single sponsor broadcasts were like way back when. 

The original advertisements are included so getting to see three-figure (yes, three-figure) sales prices for new vehicles will have  modern  audiences smiling. Fredric March plays Scrooge, Basil Rathbone plays Marley’s Ghost and there are some enjoyable songs scattered throughout the show. 

A Christmas Carol (opera) (1982) – Thea Musgrave is one of the few true giants in the opera world from recent decades and she did a magnificent job with this opera version of the Carol. The familiarity of the Dickens story makes this presentation accessible even to viewers who are generally bewildered when it comes to operas.

In addition to this Granada television production there are two other opera versions of the Carol on video. The 1978 version was Continue reading →

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF AND BOWL RESULTS FROM DECEMBER 1ST AND 2ND

*** NJCAA CHAMPIONSHIP ***

Iowa Western CollegeDREAM REIVERS – Just four years after the start of their institution’s football program the IOWA WESTERN REIVERS became the national champions of the NJCAA! The top- ranked Reivers defeated perennial gridiron powers the number 2 BUTLER (KS) GRIZZLIES in an epic clash between a feisty newcomer and an established powerhouse. Most surprising of all was the way Iowa Western College dominated the game from start to finish, pounding Butler by a score of 27-7. Congratulations to the Reivers!

*** NAIA PLAYOFFS ***

Morningside MustangsDEFENDING CHAMPS DETHRONED – Just a week after Balladeer’s Blog pronounced them this year’s Team of Destiny in the NAIA the MORNINGSIDE COLLEGE MUSTANGS unseated the incumbent champions, the SAINT XAVIER UNIVERSITY COUGARS. The homestanding Mustangs were all business and dominated on both sides of the ball, advancing to the December 13th national championship game with an intimidating 47-19 win.

Marian U Knights helmetONE STEP FURTHER – Last year the MARIAN UNIVERSITY KNIGHTS made it to the NAIA semi-finals but lost to St Xavier University. This year the Knights proved that the additional year of experience under their belts made all the difference. Marian U took it on the road this time around and won a grueling, hard-fought Instant Classic against the MISSOURI VALLEY COLLEGE VIKINGS  20-17. It will be Knights vs Mustangs for the NAIA title on December 13th in Rome, GA.

*** NCAA D2 PLAYOFFS ***

West Texas A&MNUMBER ONE TAKES A FALL – The overall one seeds in NCAA Division 2, the CSU-PUEBLO THUNDER WOLVES, were upset in the quarter-finals by the WEST TEXAS A&M BUFFALOES. The Buffaloes have been this season’s answer to last year’s Wayne State, having to play on the road every round but coming away with win after win. West Texas proved they weren’t fooling around today and put the Thunder Wolves away in convincing fashion by a final score of Continue reading →

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CHRISTMAS CAROL-A-THON 2012: 1953’s THE STINGIEST MAN IN TOWN

The Stingiest Man in Town (1953)THE STINGIEST MAN IN TOWN (1953) – I’ve been looking forward to examining this item for this season’s Christmas Carol-A-Thon. In prior years only the soundtrack for this terrific musical was available because the bulk of the video from this television production was missing. At last all the video has been restored so this Christmas season treasure can finally be enjoyed in its entirety.

Most people are only familiar with the 1978 Rankin-Bass Cartoon version of The Stingiest Man in Town, which chops the story down and omits or shortens a few songs. Here in all its glory is the original live 1953 production from December 23rd, rebroadcast in 1956, hence the 1956 date on some copies. Basil Rathbone stars as Scrooge, Johnny Desmond plays Nephew Fred, Martyn Green plays Bob Cratchit and Vic Damone appears as the young Ebenezer Scrooge at Fezziwig’s party. 

Many of the songs in this musical have become Christmas song standards and people are often amazed that The Stingiest Man in Town is where the songs originated. An Old Fashioned Christmas, Listen to the Song of the Christmas Spirit, Yes, There is a Santa Claus, and Birthday Party of the King are among the Continue reading →

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COOL FOOTBALL HELMET: OHIO DOMINICAN UNIVERSITY

Ohio Dominican PanthersOHIO DOMINICAN UNIVERSITY PANTHERS

Location: Columbus, OH

Conference Affiliation: Great Lakes Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

Comment: The old joke about a team just rolling their helmets onto the field and the Continue reading →

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FORGOTTEN TELEVISION: SUICIDE THEATRE (1950)

“I wish I was dead, Jim!”

SUICIDE THEATRE, aka THE LITTLE THEATRE – When you spend your life happily wallowing in oddities like I do, you often get the mistaken impression that everybody must be as aware of the out of the way nuggets of joyous weirdness as you are.

I was assuming that the presence of future Star Trek star Deforest Kelley in the surviving footage of this incredible television rarity made Suicide Theatre as well-known as Mr Spock’s ears. Today I had a conversation with two very special ladies (and you know who you are – I’m kidding) who are usually pretty deeply immersed in the weirdass wonders of life but they had never heard of this show.

In a way it’s serendipity that a recognizable face like Kelley portrays the unfortunate man contemplating suicide in this playlet followed by psychological commentary on depression and suicide PLUS critical evaluation of the performers in the playlet.

If it was an unknown figure starring as the down-on-his- luck character in this one and only example of Suicide Theatre plenty of people (myself included) would probably be convinced the surviving footage must be a hoax with modern-day people dressed up in 1950s clothing and surrounded by 1950s-era furniture. 

I first Continue reading →

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CHRISTMAS CAROL-A-THON 2012 CONTINUES: PATRICK STEWART’S STAGE SHOW

TIME ONCE AGAIN FOR MY ANNUAL CELEBRATION OF THE ENORMOUS NUMBER OF VERSIONS OF A CHRISTMAS CAROL THAT ARE OUT THERE. I’LL BE PEPPERING IN SEVERAL THAT I DIDN’T HAVE TIME TO INCLUDE THE PAST TWO YEARS(I have about five dozen different versions)BUT FOR NOW A REPOST OF MY FAVORITE VERSION, BAR NONE:

I’ll come right out and admit it – I’ve always been a sucker for any version of A Christmas Carol. Trouble is, most adaptations distort the story or are produced by people who don’t seem to “get” the story or treat it like it’s a children’s tale. Anyone who thinks that needs to read the novel. My love of mythology is partly why I love the story so much. A Christmas Carol is the closest thing to an Epic Myth the Industrial Age has produced. The language Dickens uses is very close to prose poetry but precious few adaptations of the story preserve enough of it.

That brings us to Patrick Stewart’s one-man stage presentation of A Christmas Carol. (NOT the made-for- tv movie he did on TNT) Stewart does all the voices and pretty much all the sound effects and his presentation is magnificent. It’s NOT a book-on-tape, it’s  Patrick Stewart acting out the story by himself, like he did on Broadway in the Continue reading →

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COOL FOOTBALL HELMET: MORAVIAN COLLEGE

MORAVIAN COLLEGE GREYHOUNDS

Location: Bethlehem, PA

Conference Affiliation: Centennial Conference

Comment: The Centennial Conference not only boasts some of the coolest-named Continue reading →

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CHRISTMAS CAROL-A-THON 2012 BEGINS: THE 1969 AUSTRALIAN TV VERSION

Welcome to Balladeer’s Blog’s Third Annual Christmas Carol-A-Thon! I have several dozen video versions of the Charles Dickens classic and for years now I have filled the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas watching umpteen different adaptations of this epic myth of the Industrial Age. The 2012 edition of this Carol-A-Thon begins with the 1969 Australian cartoon version as a shoutout to the KiwiAussie herself, Jo “Buckshot” Bryant and her blog Chronicles of Illusion.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL (1969) – Air Programs International produced this fun animated version. There are books out there whose reviewers trash this version of A Christmas Carol but their reviews are so loaded with factual errors about this cartoon that I Continue reading →

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF AND KANZA BOWL RESULTS: NOVEMBER 24TH, 2012

*** NAIA PLAYOFFS ***

TEAM OF DESTINY? – The MORNINGSIDE MUSTANGS have come into their own the past two seasons as the new masters of the Great Plains Athletic Conference after the University of Sioux Falls moved over to NCAA Division 2. The 2011 postseason ended with a disappointing early exit from the playoffs for the Mustangs. 2012, however, has found them increasingly referred to as this year’s “Team of Destiny” after a close call against the MONTANA TECH OREDIGGERS last week and a tough Overtime win yesterday against the SOUTHERN OREGON RAIDERS. The final score in this Instant Classic was 47-44.

BACK IN THE FINAL FOUR – The MARIAN UNIVERSITY KNIGHTS continue to make Balladeer’s Blog look like a gridiron Nostradamus for designating them as THE up-and- coming power in NAIA football a few years back. After another stellar season, much of which they spent in the number 1 spot in the rankings, the Knights have made it to the Final Four for the second year in a row. Yesterday Marian advanced with an authoritative 45-34 win over the SAINT FRANCIS (IN) COUGARS. 

THE HEART OF A CHAMPION – Chicago’s SAINT XAVIER UNIVERSITY COUGARS, the defending champions of NAIA football, continue their defense of their title. Yesterday the Cougars joined Morningside and Marian in the 2012 Final Four by defeating the powerhouse UNIVERSITY OF THE CUMBERLANDS PATRIOTS by a final score of 35-21.  

THE DEFENSIVE EPIC OF THE POSTSEASON – The MISSOURI VALLEY COLLEGE VIKINGS filled the last slot in this season’s Final Four in the NAIA. The Vikings had their hands full with the BETHEL (TN) WILDCATS, who toppled the top-ranked GEORGETOWN (KY) TIGERS last Saturday. MVC avoided being the second victims of a Bethel upset by winning this 10-7 game for the ages.

*** NCAA DIVISION 2 PLAYOFFS ***

REST OR RUST? – In 2010 and 2011 the 8 D2 teams who had a bye in the First Round wound up struggling, with 5 losing in 2010 and 4 in 2011. This year just 3 of the teams who came off a bye wound up losing. The MISSOURI WESTERN GRIFFONS had the most impressive upset win, hammering the (2) HENDERSON STATE UNIVERSITY REDDIES  45-21.   ###   The IUP CRIMSON HAWKS had the toughest time toppling their upper seed opponent, bringing down the Continue reading →

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