Category Archives: Bad and weird movies

REEL WILD CINEMA: EPISODES EIGHT-TEN

In this installment of Balladeer’s Blog’s recurring Forgotten Television segment I continue my look at Reel Wild Cinema (1996-1997). This time around it’s Episodes 8-10.

THE RUNDOWN FOR EPISODE EIGHT (June 9th, 1996)

Title: Kids in Peril

Truncated Films Shown:

untamed furyUNTAMED FURY (1947) – A very early hicksploitation movie. This black & white movie’s stock footage is set in the swamps of the Deep South but everything else takes place on the usual cheap sets we all know and love from Producers Releasing Corporation.

As children, two swamp kids develop a rivalry over a pretty gal and over which one of them is “best” at getting dragged behind their fathers’ boats to lure out alligators for killing. Dubious honor to be fighting for. At any rate, the boy so good that he earns the nickname Gator Bait (yes, like the 1970s Claudia Jennings flick) goes off to college.

When he comes back years later, Gator Bait wants to do improvements to the swamplands to provide a better way of life for the locals. His boyhood rival in luring out alligators is opposed to the idea, as are a few other folks and conflict results. E.G. Marshall’s film debut. I’m NOT joking.      Continue reading

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REEL WILD CINEMA: EPISODES FIVE-SEVEN

Balladeer’s Blog’s Forgotten Television feature previously provided background information on Reel Wild Cinema (1996-1997) and examined its first four episodes. Now it’s on to the fifth through seventh episodes.

THE RUNDOWN FOR EPISODE FIVE (May 19th, 1996)

Title: Sci-Fi Mutant Invasion

Truncated Films Shown:

godmonster of indian flatsGODMONSTER OF INDIAN FLATS (1973) – From the maker of Alabama’s Ghost comes this tale of toxic gasses from beneath the Earth spawning a mutated sheep monster which walks erect and looks a little like Mr. Snuffleupagas and Joe Camel. The video cover looks nothing like the creature.

Some of the weirdest corporate and political conspirators that you’ll ever see combine with oddball action, a funeral for a dog that isn’t dead and the lumbering title menace for one feverish flick. On the plus side there’s a lot of interesting Nevada scenery as backdrop for the bizarre storyline.  Continue reading

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REEL WILD CINEMA: EPISODES TWO-FOUR

Balladeer’s Blog’s Forgotten Television feature provided background information on Reel Wild Cinema (1996-1997) and examined its first episode last time around. This time I’ll take a look at episodes two to four.

THE RUNDOWN FOR EPISODE TWO (April 28th, 1996)

Title: Supernatural Sirens

Truncated Films Shown:

CURSE OF THE CRYING WOMAN (1963) – The Mexican horror film about La Llorona that got U.S. distribution and half-assed dubbing via K. Gordon Murray himself. I’ve reviewed this film in detail previously so for a quick recap for newbies to this flick it’s the old ghost story about an undead woman who sheds tears from her empty eye sockets while making with withering cries.

The Crying Woman has been searching for her dead children for hundreds of years and this version of the legend added a trio of leashed, ghostly hounds to accompany her on her nocturnal hunts. Death comes to all who cross her path.

THE NAKED WITCH (1961) – For starters, this is the Larry Buchanan film, NOT the Andy Milligan Naked Witch movie from a different year. As usual for Buchanan this was filmed in Texas, and is yet another variation of the tale about a witch who gets put to death but returns a century or more later to slay all the descendants of her killers.

Viewers get a reasonably attractive woman in the lead role. She’s never naked no matter what the title says, but she does do a weird dance when not killing her victims. And that’s just part of the unintentional laughs contained in this infamous piece of schlock.  Continue reading

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REEL WILD CINEMA: EPISODE ONE (FORGOTTEN TELEVISION)

reel wild cinemaREEL WILD CINEMA (1996-1997) – This program is still beloved by us fans of Psychotronic movies and the So Bad It’s Good subculture. Reel Wild Cinema helped feed America’s growing appetite for bizarrely awful cinema, an appetite most recently whetted back then by Joel Hodgson’s Mystery Science Theater 3000.

If, like me, you also enjoyed The Incredibly Strange Film Show hosted by Jonathan Ross, Reel Wild Cinema blended elements from both shows plus all the Movie Host programs from the 1950s onward.

Reel Wild Cinema‘s 1-hour runtime wouldn’t let the creative team show and mock entire films like MST3K did, just tightly edited highlights from them, anticipating the videos of countless internet movie critics of the future. Reel Wild Cinema didn’t riff constantly on the bad movies being shown, just before and after commercial breaks like old-time Movie Host shows.

Similar to Jonathan Ross’ Incredibly Strange Film Show, Reel Wild Cinema also aired interviews with many cult figures from fringe cinema as well as campy trailers for vintage Golden Turkeys. Also like the Jonathan Ross show, Reel Wild Cinema featured an animated opening accompanied by catchy theme music. Continue reading

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TEENAGE TERRORS: BAD MOVIES

With only a few more days left in Halloween Month, Balladeer’s Blog serves up another seasonal post.

teenage frankensteinI WAS A TEENAGE FRANKENSTEIN (1957) – Herbert Strock’s follow-up to I Was a Teenage Werewolf always calls to mind the Movie Host shows of the past and the way they would often pair up those two Teen Monster flicks as a Double Feature the nearest Saturday night to Halloween.

Whit Bissell returns, this time in the role of Professor Frankenstein, whose mad experiments caused him to be driven from Continental Europe to England and from there to the U.S. He still believes his ancestor’s theories were solid and he continues those ghastly efforts. 

Frankenstein grabs corpses to experiment on wherever he can, including robbing the graves of teen athletes or using the dead bodies of teen victims of hotrod racing accidents. (Hey, how much more 1950s can you get?) Anyway, it’s a car crash that gives the Prof access to the final parts he needs. Continue reading

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CROSS OF THE SEVEN JEWELS (1987) BAD MOVIE REVIEW

Halloween month continues at Balladeer’s Blog!

Cross of the Seven Jewels 1CROSS OF THE SEVEN JEWELS (1987) – This Bad Movie Classic may be my favorite non-Paul Naschy werewolf production.

Cross of the Seven Jewels is easily the worst and weirdest werewolf movie I’ve ever seen. Forget The Werewolf of Woodstock, forget Face of the Screaming Werewolf, forget Werewolf vs the Yeti and all the rest of Paul Naschy’s lycanthropy flicks. You can even forget Werewolves on Wheels and the muddy-faced wolfman from Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein. Marco Antonio Andolfi starred in this film under the name Eddy Endolf plus wrote and directed it as well.

Andolfi was openly influenced by Paul Naschy’s werewolf films from Spain, but produced a cinematic mess that captured neither the eroticism of Naschy’s Waldemar Daninsky movies nor their goofy charm. Marco’s depiction of a werewolf is a bit … eccentric … and can only be described as “just a little something for the laaaadieeessss.”  

Personally, I would have titled this film

Personally, I would have titled this film “Ya Call THAT a Werewolf?” but I’m kind of weird.

When Andolfi transforms into a wolfman he somehow loses his clothes (which illogically reappear on his body when he reverts back to human form) and he sprouts long bushy hair in only a few places. The first place is around his face with his mouth left bare, making him look like he’s wearing a big hair-mask with eye-holes. The second place would be his hands and the third place is his crotch, which conveniently becomes bushy enough to block out the sight of his genitals. The rest of his well-built body is butt naked. 

Remember An American Werewolf in London? Well, think of this as An Italian Werewolf in his Birthday Suit. Speaking for myself I would LAUGH if a werewolf who looked like that came after me, but I’m not a character in this film and they all take the lycanthrope seriously. Continue reading

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MORE VINTAGE MEXICAN HORROR FILMS

Halloween Month rolls along here at Balladeer’s Blog! In the past, I’ve examined decades-old Mexican horror films that have a certain quaint B-Movie charm to them. Here are some of those So Bad They’re Good flicks I didn’t get the chance to review before now. 

the resurrected monsterTHE RESURRECTED MONSTER (1953) – Directed and co-written by the trailblazing Chano Urueta, this film is regarded as Mexico’s first sci-fi/ horror blend. A plastic surgeon named Dr. Hermann Ling (Jose Maria Linares-Rivas) has been driven mad by a lifetime of scorn over his grotesque, misshapen (yet hilarious) appearance. He has spent years working in isolation at a remote castle.

A beautiful (of course) female reporter named Nora, played by starlet Miroslava, is sent to obtain a story about the famed surgeon’s life and methods. The mad doctor falls in love with Nora and is devastated when she flees his castle after getting her story.

Our villain reanimates a handsome corpse and transplants an obedient brain into it. Hey, it’s the movies! Mad scientists are automatically masters of ALL disciplines! Ling has his hybrid creation bring Nora back to him, but it, too, has fallen for Nora and kills the doctor, and is in turn slain by Nora’s editor (Gherasimos). Continue reading

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BALLADEER’S BLOG’S FAVORITE VAMPIRE MOVIES FROM JEAN ROLLIN

masked ladiesAs Halloween Month continues, here’s a look at my favorite Jean Rollin vampire films. Note that these are not my all-time favorite movies about vampires, just my favorites by Rollin.

This French director is known as a “love him or hate him” kind of creator and in my opinion his works range from brilliant to So Bad They’re Good. In the past Balladeer’s Blog has examined Jean’s zombie films like The Living Dead Girl and Pesticide, his “vampires as a mutant species” flick The Nude Vampire and his oddly modern horror work Night of the Hunted.

isoldeToss in his eerie, haunting and beautiful movie The Iron Rose and I’ve covered most of the Jean Rollin films that I consider to be on the good to brilliant side of the ledger. I avoided reviewing his vampire movies (outside of the quasi-science fiction piece The Nude Vampire) because they are virtually their own separate subgenre and I wanted to feature my favorites in one post.

shiver of the vampiresTHE SHIVER OF THE VAMPIRES (1970) – In my view this is the first real example of a Rollin vampire film. His Rape of the Vampire definitely showed how inexperienced he was at horror, while The Nude Vampire had those undertones of sci-fi that I mentioned above. 

This film is labeled everything from arthouse to grindhouse but I consider it to be more on the arthouse side. Think of a combination of Federico Fellini & David Lynch crossed with Hammer’s erotic vampire movies. It’s definitely Adults Only but more for tone and eroticism than gore and violence.

Isle (Sandra Julien) and Antoine (Jean-Marie Durand) are newlyweds who have just left their wedding reception and stop off to visit two of Isle’s male cousins in their very old castle by the sea. Two beautiful, enigmatic ladies greet them at the castle and introduce themselves as the maids. Continue reading

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MEXICAN MOVIE MONSTERS I’D LOVE TO SEE GET NEW FILMS

Halloween Month at Balladeer’s Blog continues with this look at Mexican horror figures who haven’t had a truly striking movie in decades. Well, outside of La Llorona, who still gets featured every few years.

Instead of doing nothing but sequels and remakes for the same handful of American slasher stories over and over again, how about 2020s treatments of these south-of-the-border monsters that people like me love almost as much as the classic Universal Monsters? 

DOCTOR M

First Appearance: The Black Pit of Dr. M (1958)

Lore: Dr. Masali, a less than ethical psychiatrist at a Mexican insane asylum in the early 1900s, gets a visit from the ghost of his late colleague Dr. Aldama. The spirit explains to Dr. M the unholy procedure for returning from the afterlife in a different body, which has been Masali’s obsession for years.

The ghost then warns Dr. M not to ever use the process. However, after being hanged for a murder he didn’t commit, Dr. M does indeed return to the flesh. As Heavenly punishment for violating God’s Will his soul is trapped in the body of his asylum’s hideously deformed and homicidally violent resident, Elmer.

The image of the returned Dr. M in his hideous new body playing a mournful tune on a violin to prove his identity to a friend is a scene worthy of the greatest Gothic horror films. Even better would have been a scene of him later playing the same tune over his own grave. Continue reading

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BAD MOVIES: SCOTT BRADY TO THE RESCUE

Everyman Scott Brady

Everyman Scott Brady

You can have your Time Lord from Gallifrey or your reporter from INS. When it comes to REAL action against goofy monsters the one and only Scott Brady comes on like Jim Dandy to the rescue. The Pudgy One was always a welcome sight in B-movies from decades ago. Here are four of his most enjoyably bad outings.

Destination Inner SpaceDESTINATION INNER SPACE (1966) – In a true rarity Scott Brady got to be the less-than- hunky action lead in this film! THE Sheree North and The Green Hornet‘s Wende Wagner were along for the ride in this flick that plays like an episode from Jon Pertwee’s Doctor Who era recast with Americans.

Scott Brady portrays Commander Wayne, a courageous Naval Officer who might as well be working for UNIT as he saves the world from a potential invasion by a group of sub-aquatic extraterrestrials. The monsters are as ridiculous as the dialogue in this fair-to- middling bad movie gem. Continue reading

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