Category Archives: Bad and weird movies

REEL WILD CINEMA: EPISODE ONE (FORGOTTEN TELEVISION)

reel wild cinemaREEL WILD CINEMA (1996-1997) – This program is still beloved by us fans of Psychotronic movies and the So Bad It’s Good subculture. Reel Wild Cinema helped feed America’s growing appetite for bizarrely awful cinema, an appetite most recently whetted back then by Joel Hodgson’s Mystery Science Theater 3000.

If, like me, you also enjoyed The Incredibly Strange Film Show hosted by Jonathan Ross, Reel Wild Cinema blended elements from both shows plus all the Movie Host programs from the 1950s onward.

Reel Wild Cinema‘s 1-hour runtime wouldn’t let the creative team show and mock entire films like MST3K did, just tightly edited highlights from them, anticipating the videos of countless internet movie critics of the future. Reel Wild Cinema didn’t riff constantly on the bad movies being shown, just before and after commercial breaks like old-time Movie Host shows.

Similar to Jonathan Ross’ Incredibly Strange Film Show, Reel Wild Cinema also aired interviews with many cult figures from fringe cinema as well as campy trailers for vintage Golden Turkeys. Also like the Jonathan Ross show, Reel Wild Cinema featured an animated opening accompanied by catchy theme music. Continue reading

2 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Forgotten Television

TEENAGE TERRORS: BAD MOVIES

With only a few more days left in Halloween Month, Balladeer’s Blog serves up another seasonal post.

teenage frankensteinI WAS A TEENAGE FRANKENSTEIN (1957) – Herbert Strock’s follow-up to I Was a Teenage Werewolf always calls to mind the Movie Host shows of the past and the way they would often pair up those two Teen Monster flicks as a Double Feature the nearest Saturday night to Halloween.

Whit Bissell returns, this time in the role of Professor Frankenstein, whose mad experiments caused him to be driven from Continental Europe to England and from there to the U.S. He still believes his ancestor’s theories were solid and he continues those ghastly efforts. 

Frankenstein grabs corpses to experiment on wherever he can, including robbing the graves of teen athletes or using the dead bodies of teen victims of hotrod racing accidents. (Hey, how much more 1950s can you get?) Anyway, it’s a car crash that gives the Prof access to the final parts he needs. Continue reading

10 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Halloween Season

CROSS OF THE SEVEN JEWELS (1987) BAD MOVIE REVIEW

Halloween month continues at Balladeer’s Blog!

Cross of the Seven Jewels 1CROSS OF THE SEVEN JEWELS (1987) – This Bad Movie Classic may be my favorite non-Paul Naschy werewolf production.

Cross of the Seven Jewels is easily the worst and weirdest werewolf movie I’ve ever seen. Forget The Werewolf of Woodstock, forget Face of the Screaming Werewolf, forget Werewolf vs the Yeti and all the rest of Paul Naschy’s lycanthropy flicks. You can even forget Werewolves on Wheels and the muddy-faced wolfman from Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein. Marco Antonio Andolfi starred in this film under the name Eddy Endolf plus wrote and directed it as well.

Andolfi was openly influenced by Paul Naschy’s werewolf films from Spain, but produced a cinematic mess that captured neither the eroticism of Naschy’s Waldemar Daninsky movies nor their goofy charm. Marco’s depiction of a werewolf is a bit … eccentric … and can only be described as “just a little something for the laaaadieeessss.”  

Personally, I would have titled this film

Personally, I would have titled this film “Ya Call THAT a Werewolf?” but I’m kind of weird.

When Andolfi transforms into a wolfman he somehow loses his clothes (which illogically reappear on his body when he reverts back to human form) and he sprouts long bushy hair in only a few places. The first place is around his face with his mouth left bare, making him look like he’s wearing a big hair-mask with eye-holes. The second place would be his hands and the third place is his crotch, which conveniently becomes bushy enough to block out the sight of his genitals. The rest of his well-built body is butt naked. 

Remember An American Werewolf in London? Well, think of this as An Italian Werewolf in his Birthday Suit. Speaking for myself I would LAUGH if a werewolf who looked like that came after me, but I’m not a character in this film and they all take the lycanthrope seriously. Continue reading

8 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Halloween Season

MORE VINTAGE MEXICAN HORROR FILMS

Halloween Month rolls along here at Balladeer’s Blog! In the past, I’ve examined decades-old Mexican horror films that have a certain quaint B-Movie charm to them. Here are some of those So Bad They’re Good flicks I didn’t get the chance to review before now. 

the resurrected monsterTHE RESURRECTED MONSTER (1953) – Directed and co-written by the trailblazing Chano Urueta, this film is regarded as Mexico’s first sci-fi/ horror blend. A plastic surgeon named Dr. Hermann Ling (Jose Maria Linares-Rivas) has been driven mad by a lifetime of scorn over his grotesque, misshapen (yet hilarious) appearance. He has spent years working in isolation at a remote castle.

A beautiful (of course) female reporter named Nora, played by starlet Miroslava, is sent to obtain a story about the famed surgeon’s life and methods. The mad doctor falls in love with Nora and is devastated when she flees his castle after getting her story.

Our villain reanimates a handsome corpse and transplants an obedient brain into it. Hey, it’s the movies! Mad scientists are automatically masters of ALL disciplines! Ling has his hybrid creation bring Nora back to him, but it, too, has fallen for Nora and kills the doctor, and is in turn slain by Nora’s editor (Gherasimos). Continue reading

12 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Halloween Season

BALLADEER’S BLOG’S FAVORITE VAMPIRE MOVIES FROM JEAN ROLLIN

masked ladiesAs Halloween Month continues, here’s a look at my favorite Jean Rollin vampire films. Note that these are not my all-time favorite movies about vampires, just my favorites by Rollin.

This French director is known as a “love him or hate him” kind of creator and in my opinion his works range from brilliant to So Bad They’re Good. In the past Balladeer’s Blog has examined Jean’s zombie films like The Living Dead Girl and Pesticide, his “vampires as a mutant species” flick The Nude Vampire and his oddly modern horror work Night of the Hunted.

isoldeToss in his eerie, haunting and beautiful movie The Iron Rose and I’ve covered most of the Jean Rollin films that I consider to be on the good to brilliant side of the ledger. I avoided reviewing his vampire movies (outside of the quasi-science fiction piece The Nude Vampire) because they are virtually their own separate subgenre and I wanted to feature my favorites in one post.

shiver of the vampiresTHE SHIVER OF THE VAMPIRES (1970) – In my view this is the first real example of a Rollin vampire film. His Rape of the Vampire definitely showed how inexperienced he was at horror, while The Nude Vampire had those undertones of sci-fi that I mentioned above. 

This film is labeled everything from arthouse to grindhouse but I consider it to be more on the arthouse side. Think of a combination of Federico Fellini & David Lynch crossed with Hammer’s erotic vampire movies. It’s definitely Adults Only but more for tone and eroticism than gore and violence.

Isle (Sandra Julien) and Antoine (Jean-Marie Durand) are newlyweds who have just left their wedding reception and stop off to visit two of Isle’s male cousins in their very old castle by the sea. Two beautiful, enigmatic ladies greet them at the castle and introduce themselves as the maids. Continue reading

8 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Halloween Season

MEXICAN MOVIE MONSTERS I’D LOVE TO SEE GET NEW FILMS

Halloween Month at Balladeer’s Blog continues with this look at Mexican horror figures who haven’t had a truly striking movie in decades. Well, outside of La Llorona, who still gets featured every few years.

Instead of doing nothing but sequels and remakes for the same handful of American slasher stories over and over again, how about 2020s treatments of these south-of-the-border monsters that people like me love almost as much as the classic Universal Monsters? 

DOCTOR M

First Appearance: The Black Pit of Dr. M (1958)

Lore: Dr. Masali, a less than ethical psychiatrist at a Mexican insane asylum in the early 1900s, gets a visit from the ghost of his late colleague Dr. Aldama. The spirit explains to Dr. M the unholy procedure for returning from the afterlife in a different body, which has been Masali’s obsession for years.

The ghost then warns Dr. M not to ever use the process. However, after being hanged for a murder he didn’t commit, Dr. M does indeed return to the flesh. As Heavenly punishment for violating God’s Will his soul is trapped in the body of his asylum’s hideously deformed and homicidally violent resident, Elmer.

The image of the returned Dr. M in his hideous new body playing a mournful tune on a violin to prove his identity to a friend is a scene worthy of the greatest Gothic horror films. Even better would have been a scene of him later playing the same tune over his own grave. Continue reading

20 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Halloween Season

BAD MOVIES: SCOTT BRADY TO THE RESCUE

Everyman Scott Brady

Everyman Scott Brady

You can have your Time Lord from Gallifrey or your reporter from INS. When it comes to REAL action against goofy monsters the one and only Scott Brady comes on like Jim Dandy to the rescue. The Pudgy One was always a welcome sight in B-movies from decades ago. Here are four of his most enjoyably bad outings.

Destination Inner SpaceDESTINATION INNER SPACE (1966) – In a true rarity Scott Brady got to be the less-than- hunky action lead in this film! THE Sheree North and The Green Hornet‘s Wende Wagner were along for the ride in this flick that plays like an episode from Jon Pertwee’s Doctor Who era recast with Americans.

Scott Brady portrays Commander Wayne, a courageous Naval Officer who might as well be working for UNIT as he saves the world from a potential invasion by a group of sub-aquatic extraterrestrials. The monsters are as ridiculous as the dialogue in this fair-to- middling bad movie gem. Continue reading

12 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies

SNARKY JAY: TERRIFIC MOVIE REVIEW CHANNEL

snarky jayHere at Balladeer’s Blog people who can make me laugh are my favorite kind of people! YT reviewer Snarky Jay, as she calls herself, is entertaining, engaging and hilarious with her reviews.

She not only delivers concise positive or negative takes on films and streaming shows, but she also punctures the pomposity of the privileged one percenters of Hollywood.

You can subscribe to Snarky Jay’s channel HERE. For an eight-and-a-half-minute example of this woman’s approach click below. Continue reading

20 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, humor, opinion

BAD MOVIE: THE BIONIC BOY (1977)

bionic boyTHE BIONIC BOY (1977) – This joint production of the Philippines and Hong Kong starred child martial arts champion Johnson Yap from Singapore. It was also released under alternate titles like Superboy, Trionic Warrior and others.

We viewers first meet 10-year-old Sonny Lee (Johnson Yap) on a televised game show hosted by a man who looks like Liberace. I didn’t say he DRESSES like Liberace, just that his face very closely resembles the Candelabra Man.

superboySonny wins the Jackpot on the game show because he’s as intelligent as he is skilled at martial arts. When Not Liberace brings on Sonny’s parents, some gangsters watching the show see that his father is really a former Interpol agent who brought down several of their colleagues and has been living in a Witness Protection Program ever since. (Pretty stupid to let your face get televised to millions then.)

The gangsters add killing the ex-Interpol man to their To-Do List since they are in the middle of muscling in on all export businesses in Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore and ultimately Australia. Sonny Lee and his parents get even more publicity when Ramirez, a Manila auto magnate, announces he will give the family a new car fresh off his assembly line.  Continue reading

8 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies

FIST OF FEAR, TOUCH OF DEATH (1980) – BAD MOVIE REVIEW

fist of fear touch of deathFIST OF FEAR, TOUCH OF DEATH (1980) – It’s the review FOURTEEN YEARS in the making! Yep, Fist of Fear, Touch of Death is yet another one of those classically bad films that I had planned on reviewing here on Balladeer’s Blog back in 2010 but it always fell by the wayside. At long last this review can stand alongside my examinations of other Bruceploitation flicks like The Clones of Bruce Lee and The Dragon Lives Again.

A fictional Karate Tournament being held in Madison Square Garden is hyped as a battle to be the successor to Bruce Lee. That’s just an excuse to feature a conspiracy theory about Bruce having been murdered and mix it in with stock footage from the Master’s interviews, movies, and tv appearances.

another poster for fist of fear touch of deathAlso stretching out this jumbled mess to feature length are scenes from several 1970s and 1960s Chop Socky movies which are supposed to be footage chronicling Bruce’s ancestor, who is called a samurai even though samurai are Japanese, not Chinese. Other forced connections with Lee pollute this sewage.    

Where to start with this Psychotronic gem? Well, for starters, it’s obvious that the late Bruce Lee couldn’t do anything about the footage of himself in this low-class bomb, but Fred Williamson and, of all people – ADOLPH CAESAR – chose to participate in this dreck PLAYING THEMSELVES!

Okay, blaxploitation legend Williamson has his fair share of schlock among his screen credits, but Adolph Caesar was one of the greatest stage actors of all time and his performance in A Soldier’s Story (1984) helped make it the powerful movie that it still is.

If you need a Psychotronic connection to justify Caesar’s presence in this travesty, his very memorable voice narrated film trailers for several grindhouse flicks and horror films over the years. Mr. Caesar is a total boss in this movie, making it clear that he knows it’s sheer garbage and smirking sardonically throughout his screen time.

adolph caesarHe’s being himself, Adolph Caesar, as if he is doing sports commentary for the Madison Square Garden tournament for network television. The bizarre tone of this film is set within the first five minutes, as Caesar’s play by play of a karate tussle we’re seeing in the ring includes the words “suddenly, he grabs for the eyes and twists violently, ripping them out from the sockets and in a dazzling piece of showmanship tossing them to the crowd.”

A dazzling piece of showmanship. To toss your opponent’s torn-out eyes into the crowd. All said in the legendary voice of Adolph Caesar. It’s a true “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto” moment for viewers who are used to more conventional fare. Continue reading

26 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies