Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at a baker’s dozen of movies from the 1980s subgenre of Heavy Metal-related horror. Why only thirteen? Because I already reviewed Black Roses and Rocktober Blood years ago.
PAGANINI HORROR (1989) – Directed by Luigi Cozzi, better known to us fans of psychotronic movies as the Italian Ed Wood. Three women and one man constitute a heavy metal band desperate for a hit song. They strike a Faustian bargain with the mysterious Mr. Pickett, played by Donald Pleasence.
Pickett takes their souls as payment for a lost musical composition by the long-dead violin virtuoso Niccolo Paganini. The rockers adapt the piece of music as a heavy metal work and decide to film the song’s music video in a mansion once owned by Paganini himself.
Playing the piece while filming at the mansion causes Paganini to rise from the dead and lets loose other forces of Hell. Those characters not butchered by the masked, undead maestro via a knife that pops out of his violin are slaughtered by the supernatural forces now at large in the house.
Cozzi being Cozzi we also get the kitchen sink in the form of time loops, portals to Hell, family curses, cosmic Lovecraftian concepts and some of the daffiest death scenes imaginable. Some victims die by wood fungus, an inexplicable car fire and even by having invisible walls close in and crush them. Insert your own mime joke here. Continue reading
Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault! In the middle 1980s, way down on Level 31 Randy and Richard, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class hosted this neglected cult show. Balladeer’s Blog continues its celebration of the program’s 40th anniversary year.
THE DEADLY SPAWN (1983) – This film is also known as The Alien’s Deadly Spawn. If you’re into less appreciated splatter flicks this is the movie for you! Diminutive creatures (ignore the poster) from outer space terrorize a neighborhood while literally chewing their way through anything in their way, including human bodies. The gore effects are graphic but not extreme, the acting ranges from awful to average and the creature designs may be cheap but the overall package makes this a cult classic. And watch out for that final stinger!
CAR CRASH (1981) – Travolta … Joey Travolta. Yes, it’s Barbarino’s older brother in this Italian-Spanish coproduction. Ever wonder what the Fast and Furious franchise would be like if Frank Stallone was the overall star? This movie provides the answer – sped up footage to (unsuccessfully) lend the illusion of speed, and model cars just one step above Hot Wheels toys passing for the race cars much of the time! Travolta stars as the fast and fatuous driver Paul Little. He wins a race, infuriating the crime boss who rigged the event to let his own driver win. Paul then faces the gangster, his men and several other competitors in a race called the Imperial Crash. With Johnny Carson’s frequent 1980s joke Ana Obregon. 
Balladeer’s Blog resumes its shoutout to the FORTIETH anniversary year of The Texas 27 Film Vault, one of the many Bad Movie Shows since the 1950s. The program debuted on Saturday February 9th, 1985. 
In the middle 1980s/ Way down on Level 31 … 
FILM VAULT LORE: Randy and Richard’s presentation of Ghosts of Hanley House has occupied a very odd niche in Movie Host trivia for quite a long time. Among people who remember The Texas 27 Film Vault this episode is famous as “the one where Psychotronic‘s Michael Weldon seems to have confused T27FV with MST3K.”
MOVIE: Trunk to Cairo (1966). If the only bad movie show you know is MST3K think of: Operation Double 007, Danger: Death Ray and Secret Agent Superdragon. 
OGROFF aka The Mad Mutilator (1983) – This thoroughly bizarre French movie whose maker somehow conned horror icon Howard Vernon into appearing is easily one of the worst films ever made. Norbert G. Moutier owned a video store in France and published a horror fanzine. 
In the middle 1980s/ Way down on Level 31 … There was The Texas 27 Film Vault. Balladeer’s Blog continues its salute to the FORTIETH anniversary year of this neglected cult show that debuted on Saturday February 9th, 1985. 
There’s also a Great White Hunter as the hero and a mad scientist whose inventions include a machine that turns black people into white people! 
THE MOVIE: Monster From Green Hell was one of the many, many “Big Bug” films of the 1950s. Most of those “bugs” on the loose were mutated to giant size by atomic radiation but in this flick it was cosmic radiation instead which was the culprit.
Before MST3K we had The Texas 27 Film Vault. Before Joel and Mike we had Randy and Richard. Before Pearl we had Laurie Savino. Before Devil Dogs, Observers and Deep 13 we had giant rats, Cellumites and Level 31.
Since Randy Clower still outranked his co-host Richard Malmos (until a few episodes later) in the fictional Film Vault Corps (“The few, the proud, the sarcastic”) their relationship often featured the type of abusive “Host and Second Banana” dynamic like that between Dr. Morgus and his lab assistant Chopsley or Zacherle and his wife My Dear or Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank. 
THE MOVIE: Supernatural starred Carole Lombard and Randolph Scott in a campy and hilariously bad story of possession. When serial murderess Ruth Rogen is executed her spirit winds up inhabiting the body of Lombard’s character Roma Courtney, a wealthy socialite. 
Some readers have been asking what I mean by my frequently used term “Psychotronic movies”. It’s a nice reminder that not everyone is as immersed as people like me are in Bad and Weird Movie Culture. 
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