NAMATHON: A JOE NAMATH MARATHON FOR SUPERBOWL SUNDAY

Joe Namath started life as a Pennsylvania boy. Later in life he became the quarterback for the University of Alabama Crimson Tide under iconic football coach Paul “Bear” Bryant. After college he was signed by the New York Jets for what was then the highest-ever contract for a quarterback.

Before long, he earned a place in NFL history by leading the underdog Jets to a victory over the (then) Baltimore Colts in Superbowl III. Though the rest of his football career was – let’s be honest – less than impressive, Joe’s charisma and appeal to the ladies carried him into a minor career as a piece of kitsch-casting in movies and on television. 

NORWOOD (1970) – The stunning sequel to True Grit. Okay, I’m kidding! I couldn’t resist since Norwood came out a year after True Grit, was based on another novel by the author of True Grit and starred Glen Campbell and Kim Darby, also from True Grit. Marguerite Roberts wrote the screenplay for both flicks, too. 

Glen stars as one of the few Vietnam War veterans not depicted by Hollywood as PTSD-riddled. As Norwood Pratt, the returning vet winds up in a job transporting cars from Texas to New York City but soon learns he’s driving stolen merchandise.

Joe William Namath plays Joe William Reese, a friend of Norwood who sees him become a singing sensation. Also in the strange circle of friends are dwarf actor Billy Curtis and runaway bride Rita (Darby).

A scene in which Namath tosses a football back and forth with Billy Curtis deserves to stand alongside the football-tossing scenes in The Room. Plus there’s Dom Deluise, Carol Lynley, David Huddleston and Joann, the intelligent chicken.     

C.C AND COMPANY (1970) – Joe Namath IS good-natured biker C.C. Ryder, who falls in with evil biker gang the Heads Company, led by THE William “Big Bill” Smith. Ann-Margret, who also sang The Love Theme from C.C. and Company, plays Namath’s love interest, fashion reporter Ann McCalley.

C.C., who sneak-eats food in grocery stores since he’s usually broke, has a falling out with the Heads Company when the horny bikers harass Ann-Margret’s character. Our hero saves her from them and continues wooing her by signing up for the biker race that she’s covering as part of a fashion shoot. (Just go with it.)

William Smith and the Heads Company crash the race Ann is covering, pitting C.C. against the villains once again. Namath wins the race and gets the prize money, but the Heads Company abduct Ann-Margret. C.C. rides to the rescue, of course.  

This film has long resided at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to the already-schlocky genre of biker movies. My fellow fans of Psychotronic flicks and I have loved it for decades, needless to say. C.C. and Company also features Sid Haig (of course) and Jennifer Billingsley.

Ann’s then-husband wrote the screenplay, which I’m assuming was grounds for divorce.

THE LAST REBEL (1971) – Of COURSE Joe Namath did a Spaghetti Western! 

After the Civil War is over, former Confederate Cavalry Captain Burnside Hollis (Namath) and soldier Matt Graves (Jack Elam) are traveling together. Hollis heroically saves former black Union Army soldier Duncan (screen legend Woody Strode) from a lynching.

The three decide to pursue a career in stagecoach robbing next, launching a series of adventures that ends up including gunfights and pool hustling in saloons.

Namath and Strode have a falling-out with Elam over money, so Jack allies himself with literal Klansmen and other disgruntled, defeated Confederates to try killing his former friends. 

Hollis, of course, gets lots of ladies, Duncan adopts an abandoned black boy and the bullet-riddled finale takes place with our heroes holed up in a brothel besieged by the bad guys and exchanging gunfire with them.

People sometimes ask me if The Last Rebel is trying to be serious or comedic. If anyone ever figures that out, please let me know. 

THE WAVERLY WONDERS (1978) – Broadway Joe moved down to the sitcom world for this series. He starred as Joe Casey, a washed-up pro BASKETBALL player who starts coaching a terrible high school team called the Waverly Wonders.

You know how these storylines go, and Joe works to shape up his team of misfits and losers – including a female player like it’s a hardcourt version of The Bad News Bears. Namath’s acting style of grinning uncertainly at everything around him contributed to this show bombing.

Only a pilot and 13 episodes were set up, but The Waverly Wonders was canceled after just 9 had aired. Joe Willy never set foot in Gabe Kaplan territory again, but did make guest appearances on television for decades after.     

MARRIAGE IS ALIVE AND WELL (1980) – In this telefilm, Namath played Brian Fish, a wedding photographer whose marriage to Susan Sullivan is in trouble. He reminisces about three particular couples whose weddings he photographed.

I never realized wedding photographers know every minute of the courtship leading up to a couple tying the knot, but that just shows what I know. Brian Fish brings those situations to life in what was billed as a comedy-drama but seems more like rejected stories for Love American Style.

The married couples Joe reflects on: A pair of repeat divorcees who keep marrying each other and then splitting up. There’s also a VERY old comedian (Jack Albertson) who is marrying a much younger woman over the objections of his son.

The third couple has been living together for a while and, in a switch of what you might expect, the woman would be fine to just continue that arrangement, but the man insists on putting a ring on it.

CHATTANOOGA CHOO CHOO (1984) – Joe Namath costars as pro football coach Newt Newton, whose team owner (George Kennedy) will inherit a fortune if he reestablishes his late father-in-law’s railroad by reviving its service from New York to Chattanooga. 

The deed must be done within 24 hours for George to get the money. Kennedy’s character also makes the trip a publicity stunt for the team he owns by taking the players, coaches and cheerleaders along.

Chattanooga Choo Choo plays a bit like a train version of the Burt Reynolds fast-car flicks like Cannonball Run and Smokey and the Bandit. Even the scene of the late father-in-law, whose coffin rests in a train car, getting lowered into an enormous grave along with that car could pass for a scene from those films. 

Other self-consciously wacky side stories unfold among the other passengers on the crucial train trip. In addition to Namath and Kennedy, the cast includes Barbara Eden, Melissa Sue Anderson, Clu Gulager, Bridget Hanley, James Horan and 80s twin sexpots Candi and Randi Brough.

P.S. I guess that’s supposed to be Joe Namath sitting on top of the train on the movie poster but he looks more like Claude Akins. Weird.

*** I’ll end this Namathon with a reminder that he was the first pro quarterback to win both a College Football National Championship and then a Superbowl. And let’s remember some of the lyrics from the Joe Namath novelty song from around Superbowl III.

“He’s a hero/ He’s a pro/ He’s a Mister-Somethin’-Else our Broadway Joe.” The song also referred to Namath threading a football through a needle’s eye, plus had lines like “Holy Mackerel!/ What a sight!/ When we see our Number Twelve in green & white!” And so on, ending with the double entendre “No one else can score like Broadway Joe!”

*** See what I meant about Joe looking like Claude Akins on the illustrated poster for Chattanooga Choo Choo below.